Two stupid postmodern life

In April in Floating Leaf City, on the tender willow branches, the time for sprouting has long passed, only the catkins flying all over the sky, and the small town is like a paradise.The original residents of Paradise have long been accustomed to this rustling scenery, but they have suffered from our latest immigrant, Comrade Erduan.

"Ah...Ahhhhhhhhhhh..." Sucking the two strands of dried noodles coming out of his nose, Ersha casually tore off a pair of Spring Festival couplets pasted on the door of the coffin shop at the end of the street, and with a snort, woke up his nose, Throwing it away, the bright red ball of paper fell lightly into the garbage dump next to it.

A Caobo, the shopkeeper of the coffin shop, was not happy: "I said you silly, you have been sitting at my door for four or five days, and I will not chase you away if you have nothing to do, at least you can be an envoy to the door, right? ?Our coffin shop, the picture is auspicious, but these two days you are pulling our couplets every day. After pulling one pair after another, I really don’t have any red paper. , which one are you from?"

Ersha giggled: "Uncle Ah Cao, there's nothing you can do about it. Who told you that catkins are so powerful here? I'm allergic. Look, my nose is about to wake up and bleed. It's helpless to pull your couplets." Come on, just do it, don't drive me away."

"Allergies? What? Eat or use, why haven't I heard of it."

"Allergy is an immune reaction mediated by mast cells caused by particles in the air to people with sensitive constitutions, which will generally cause increased vascular permeability, not pulling..." Ersha said eloquently , The saliva splashed everywhere, the shopkeeper sighed, turned and went back to the shop, shaking his head as he walked: "I'm going crazy again."

At noon, Uncle Ah Cao brought out a bowl of rice and a pot of tea, and put them in front of Er Sha: "Er Sha, let's have a discussion. If you don't talk about my couplets anymore, I'll treat you to this meal. How about it?"

Ersha was already hungry and his stomach cramped. Looking at the bowl of rice, the white rice grains were covered with four side dishes, including tofu, beans, choy sum, and two pieces of golden fried minced meat. We weighed the pros and cons , and finally raised his head like a strong man cutting his wrist: "deal".

In fact, even if Ersha refuses to agree to this bowl of rice, Uncle Ah Cao will give it to him. Now that Ersha is so upbeat, his heart gets hot, so he sits next to him and picks it up with Ersha: "Ersha, why don't you eat it these two days?" Went to Zuifeng Tower and Man Tingxiang to see the beauty, are you afraid of being beaten by someone's broom handle?"

Ersha stuffed his mouth full, and that didn't affect his eloquence: "No, no, the girls and boys over there look good-looking, but they smile on the surface, but their eyes are cold, I don't like it."

Uncle Ah Cao secretly scolded this kid who was kicked out by someone, and he kept talking about it, making it clear that he couldn't eat grapes and said that grapes were sour, and he didn't point it out, and then asked: "Then you guard me all day long, What are you doing? I’m an old man, and all the people who come to do business are from dead family members. They all have sad faces, but there’s nothing you want to see.”

Ersha straightened his head, walked around smilingly with steamy eyes, and leaned over with an expression of 'I tell you, don't reveal it': "I'm waiting here to pick someone up."

"Picking up people? I haven't heard of it. I've heard of people waiting to pick up money and rabbits, but I haven't heard of people picking up."

A look of "you don't understand this" floated on the face of the coal ball, and said quietly:

"Based on my many years of experience, the first rule of the "Law of Two Stupids" is: in places like garbage dumps and small alleys, as long as you work hard, you can find people. Moreover, the people who are picked up are generally not ordinary people. , either beautiful big stars, or handsome martial arts leaders, they are either drunk or hunted down by their enemies, in short, when you find them, you have to bury them as often as you like, and be as decadent as you want."

He smirked, and then said: "Just pick them up at this time, go back to recuperate their injuries, sober up or something, and keep them beautiful. These people are beautiful, and they must be rich. , When the time comes, they want to repay me, they have to cry and give me money, or make a promise with their body, I am not a beauty with money and money? Yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)."

When Ersha was excited, his eyes were staring at the front of his eyes, as if there were countless rich beauties rushing to embrace him.

Ah Caobo opened his mouth halfway, neither closed nor smiled, and immediately froze there, regretting in his heart: "Although these two idiots are covered with black charcoal, they can't see their faces, but they can look at their figures and listen to their voices." , at most [-] or [-] years old, where did you get the years of experience? The "law of two fools" is also unbelievable, alas! My old man is also in a daze, and he started chatting with a fool. No way, have to Play mahjong more while you have free time, don't be stupid like him." So he shook his head in half annoyance, half regret and walked back to the shop, leaving behind a long sigh.

Sitting alone for a while longer, before he knew it, the sun was gradually setting in the west, Ersha raised his head, seeing that the sky was getting late, and a crescent moon also quietly disappeared into the clouds and no longer showed his face, thinking about it. It was the best time for the realization of the "law of two fools". I wanted to wait patiently, but the night wind in early spring was still cold, and I couldn't stop yawning, so I had to move back to the temple step by step.