I don't know warm water

How could it be possible to forget who said this.

If you have to lie to yourself that you can't remember it, the answer will come out sooner.

Zou Yan suddenly hated himself very much.

Knowing that he likes the same sex and was "transferred" because of social prejudice, it's not that Zou has never thought about whether there is something wrong with him.Thinking about it, he will inevitably feel hatred: hate why he doesn't like a girl, why he is not "normal" like other people.

nausea.This is what Li Zhefei said subconsciously.If possible, Zou Yan doesn't want to like him either.In this case, Han Yeke would definitely not see it, and he would definitely not ask him if he liked Li Zhefei, even if he was still bullied by hooligans, he wouldn't let Li Zhefei hate him from now on.

After all, I still care about Li Zhefei's dislike, even hatred.

In addition, Zou Yan also understood that Lu Yueping said so much that day, she may not really accept that her son likes the same sex in her heart.This road is too bitter, and the world's mouths are too mixed.The self presented by each person is like his own "creation", showing his experience and ability, while other people, as "audience", also have a way of understanding that matches their ability.

Therefore, "creation" is misunderstood by others, which is a kind of fate.This sentence is really good.

Zou Yan was really scared.At that time, when he was secretly in love with Li Zhefei, he never thought that homosexuality would be discussed by everyone, would be disgusting, and would be kicked out of a familiar environment and forced to go to a new place where no one knew the secret.

He also doesn't want to be gay.

It didn't take long before the summer vacation, and Zou Yan's life has been like this since two years ago, painting, language learning, and school subjects.If he wants, he can even skip the college entrance examination.

Day after day, painting, Italian, Zou has become accustomed to this repetitive, boring life that has already become interesting.

On a certain day in late August, Han Yike called and asked Zou Yan: "No one has come to the studio to look for me recently, right?"

Zou Wei thought for a while: "No. You didn't come either, the studio."

Han Yike seemed to sigh: "Then have you been in contact with Huang Wen recently?"

Zou Yan replied: "Look for him last week, do homework, and ask questions."

Han Yike said: "No, I mean these two days. Have you looked for him online? We can't even contact him."

"No." Zou Yan said, "I'll try it in a while, and contact him to have a look."

After hanging up the phone, Zou Wei called Huang Wen again and turned off the phone; he went to QQ, but no one answered.So he told Han Yeke that Huang Wen could not be found.

Two days later, there was suddenly a gossip atmosphere in the studio, everyone was talking about one thing: Director Han Ji cheated on the marriage, and his wife exposed the video of him kissing the actor Wu Anning.

Zou Yan didn't expect that he would never see Huang Wen again, and only saw Han Yike in the hospital on the penultimate day of August.

It was Han Ye Ke who asked him to come.

Yang Yi was stabbed on the left shoulder with a knife. Fortunately, no bones were injured, but he still lost a lot of blood.

Han Yike's face was also paler than ever before.

Zou Yan asked her, "What happened to him?"

Han Yike patted the bed, motioned him to sit down, then looked at him, and suddenly smiled: "I'm going to confess to you again."

Zou Yan nodded: "I'm used to it."

Han Yike lowered his head, with obvious exhaustion lingering on his body: "I know you are more or less blaming me for finding someone to beat Zhao Kaixin, or for asking you in the studio if you like Li Zhefei. So, an equivalent exchange, let me tell you Don't be so angry with me, okay?"

Zou Yan really didn't expect that he would be "angry" towards Han Yike, and he felt a little embarrassed: "I, I'm really not... angry with you."

Han Yike looked up at him: "I always knew that Dad likes men. So I asked you, what kind of preference do men like men?"

Zou Yan was stunned: "It is, really?!"

Han Yike continued to say: "Liu Xiaoyi, that is, the woman who gave birth to me, she and my father are college classmates, in the same college but in different departments. My father has always been a very talented director student, and Liu Xiaoyi is an art student."

Zou Wei was a little shocked: "But, but you, they gave birth to you?"

Han Yike looked at him with no expression on his face: "Dad has come out with his parents a long time ago. Although Liu Xiaoyi liked Dad, but because Dad just couldn't be tempted by her, she had to fall in love with someone else. Fuck. Later, Dad's mother had an accident and couldn't breathe her last breath on the hospital bed, forcing Dad to marry a woman, and his father always threatened him with death."

"Then you..." Zou Yan was still curious about this question.

"I'm the product of her and a man who ran away after sleeping." Han Yike said calmly, "Just when Han Ji's father was about to die, Liu Xiaoyi was pregnant with me and begged Han Ji to give her a hug." Destination. At that time, they were very good friends, and it was okay to think about marriage. Han Ji felt that he could even handle the matter of his father asking him to have a child, so he agreed to marry her."

Zou Yan's eyes widened in disbelief.

Han Yike turned his head to look at Yang Yi who was still in a coma, and then turned his head to look at Zou Yan: "Liu Xiaoyi, she gave birth to me, but she was jealous of me. Do you know that a mother is jealous of a baby who came out of her body?" Child. She is jealous that I am younger than her, more beautiful than her, and more attractive to all kinds of men than her. She is even more jealous that I am talented in painting than her, and even jealous that I can get real love from Han Ji."

"Your mother, jealous of you? How is this possible?!" Zou Yan unconsciously grasped the bed sheet under him.

"This is the result." Han Yike raised one leg, his slender ankle was swollen like a carrot, "Her new lover has taken a fancy to me, in order to please him, Liu Xiaoyi is going to take me back to serve her new lover Lover. By the way, she deliberately put the video from the camera installed in Han Jixin's home at the press conference on the day his new movie was released."

Zou Yan was speechless, as if he had been shaken vigorously a few times, his mind was in a state of confusion, and he couldn't say anything.

After a long, long time, so long that Zou Wei thought it was from day to night, he finally asked: "Then Huang Wen, what about others?"

Han Yike reacted very slowly, shook his head, and said dryly, "He was taken away by his parents, probably. His father squatted downstairs at Yang Yi's house for two days, and directly kidnapped him."

Zou Wei felt that the blender in his mind started to work again: "You said, Huang Zhiyuan, he is squatting at Yang Yi's house?"

"How do you know Huang Zhiyuan?" Han Yike rubbed his temples.

"He and my aunt got married last year, and we just moved here. Huang Wen knows."

Han Yike shook his head: "Oh yes, I remembered. Huang Wen's parents are divorced."

Zou Yan didn't speak again.

Han Yike looked at him, his eyes were bloodshot: "Zou Zhe, I'm sorry."

Zou Yan shook his head: "You don't need to, I apologize."

Han Yike smiled: "I may have to go to Europe first to wait for you. In order to avoid Liu Xiaoyi, I came to live in this city alone. Or to avoid Liu Xiaoyi, Han Ji finally wanted to divorce her and take me away gone."

Zou Yan blinked and asked her, "Are you leaving now?"

Han Yike nodded, and looked at Yang Yi: "He has something to do, and I have something to do. Han Ji is punished by everyone in China." After she finished speaking, she looked back, "Zou Yan, so I always wanted to I know, how much Dad likes Wu Anning and what kind of like it is, I don't know if I can understand it. It's like whether I can understand you. "

Zou Yan smiled: "It's useless now. I don't have anyone who likes me right now."

After school started, looking at the empty seat next to him, Zou Yan realized that he was alone again.

He was alone again with no friends his own age.

Fortunately, he still has Lu Yueping and Mr. Xu.

It seems that this kind of thought pops up from time to time.

Zou Yan also felt that he was not very up-to-date.It's time to grow up, and you can't always think about having someone to accompany you.

I don't know if it's because I'm too busy, but Zou feels that time flies by, much faster than those years in junior high school.In the Spring Festival of the third year of high school, Lu Yueping noticed his gloom because he was too boring day after day.

"Bao, do you want to set off fireworks nearby?" Lu Yueping asked him, "I can let Uncle Huang drive you to hang out with me."

My aunt gave birth to a little girl, one year old, pink and tender, a small ball of flesh, eyes like her mother, eyebrows like her father, very thick-faced, very pretty.This year I want to take my toddler outside for a New Year's Eve, and set off fireworks for her to go to evil spirits.

Zou Yan didn't really want to go: "I don't want to be with Uncle."

After Lu Yueping tried to persuade her, Zou Yan was still not happy, so she let it go.

The third year of high school is really busy.But Zou Yan had the illusion that Lu Yueping seldom went to work, and she preferred to do those cross-stitch jobs at home, and she also took orders online to help others.Almost every time he went home, he saw Lu Yueping busy.

But as soon as he came home, Lu Yueping would immediately stop what she was doing, and would keep asking Zou what he wanted to eat and whether he was tired today.

Zou Yan is not the kind of rebellious person, and he only feels that Lu Yueping has been entangled tightly during this period of time.

He is not in school at all in his third year of high school, and occasionally goes back to enter information, confirm files, and do physical examinations.Very tired, Zou Yu often has the idea of ​​hanging himself in the air like a kite and letting the wind blow him to an uncertain place.

In addition, Zou Yan finally understood why Xu Jingqiang insisted on drawing with a computer when he was free.

Now that I have free time, I can accept manuscripts and earn some money.

Maybe Zou Wei himself didn't realize that now he seldom has the time to be completely empty.Also because he has learned more and more things, gained more and more recognition, and passed more and more exams, Zou Yan is already a "fairy classmate" in the eyes of most of his studio classmates. "Are.

Unknowingly, others praised him more and more, and he achieved more and more goals through perseverance and persistence. Zou Yan didn't notice when he became better at dealing with interpersonal relationships, and when he stopped stuttering at all , when has even become the focus of the crowd.