I don't know warm water

Zou Zhe didn't remember what Li Zhefei said to him afterwards, but he only remembered that after Li Zhefei said the first sentence, "I seem to be dreaming, are you really Zou Zhe", he was confused.

Li Zhefei's eyes are too crazy.

It's as if they're out for a meal, and they're really having a meal.Li Zhefei had been emphasizing "I have something to tell you" before, but after seeing Zou Zhe, he didn't say much, but looked at Zou Zhe with eyes that Zou Zhe couldn't understand.

In the end, Zou Yan still asked Li Zhefei to take him back to the hotel for some reason.

Li Zhefei didn't seem to say anything, but before Zou Zhe returned to the hotel, he stopped him: "Zou Zhe, can I... give you a hug."

Zou Yan looked up at him, and his heart, which had been calm for a whole day, beat faster again, as if to remind him: I am still alive.

Li Zhefei could not understand.But Zou Yan wanted to tell him that you must understand.

He had to admit that only Li Zhefei could give him the kind of throbbing that he hadn't had for so many years.Li Zhefei must understand that if you hate a person, you shouldn't say a word to him.How dare Zou Yan allow a person who thinks he is disgusting to force him to still be his friend?

He looked at Li Zhefei coldly, as if the kindness along the way never existed.Li Zhefei didn't hug him directly after asking, but looked at him seriously, waiting for his answer.

Zou Yan didn't say anything, turned around and entered the hotel.

After returning, Li Zhefei didn't send him a message or call him. Zou Zhe stared at the name of "Li Zhefei" and hesitated with his finger hanging on the word "Lahei".

If you really want to break it, you should delete him when you see the words "Li Zhefei" under the lemon tree; if you really don't care, you shouldn't agree to meet him alone; if you really don't like it, you shouldn't When Li Zhefei looked at him with that firm gaze, he felt reborn again.

Zou Yan hadn't felt this tired for a long time.

When was the last time you came?Senior year?I want to think of myself as a kite flying in the sky, I want to be an object without thinking or even life.

Zou Yan still didn't understand what Li Zhefei was thinking.I didn't know how to chat with Li Zhefei before, but now I don't know what Li Zhefei wants.

In the past, I would think that if I can't play with Li Zhefei, I should help Li Zhefei; but now, what does Li Zhefei want from me?

Li Zhefei's so-called "I have something to tell you", the only meaningful thing is the "I'm sorry" that has been repeated many times, but he didn't say what he was sorry for himself.

Zou Yan didn't know when he was already lying on the bed, and his mobile phone slipped to the ground casually.

Lu Yueping went back home with her friends, and Zou Yan knew it, so he bought a ticket to go back.

Before leaving, Zou Zhe talked to Huang Wen, but Huang Wen was disturbed by Yang Yi, and he didn't take Zou Zou's matter too seriously.

At that time, the Double Ninth Festival had just passed ten days, and it was going to be November, which was also approaching Zou Xun's death day.

Not long after returning home, Lu Yueping fainted directly, and Zou Wei hurriedly took her to the hospital.

November [-] was the day Zou Xun left.On November nineteenth, Lu Yueping also took her last breath.

Zou Yan called Xu Jingqiang and his aunt.Zou Xun was still young when he left, and now he doesn't understand the rules of keeping the spirit. He just lights candles and burns paper and incense, cooks mung bean soup that is out of season in the kitchen, and sits withered in front of Lu Yueping's posthumous photo, doing nothing. don't think about it.Touching the soup bowl, the autumn wind blew it cold, so Zou Yan went to the kitchen to scoop up another bowl of boiling hot soup.

Before the Chinese New Year, when Lu Yueping was buried, Zou Wei knew that the cemetery next to Zou Xun was vacant. After asking, Lu Yueping also bought the land when Zou Xun was buried ten years ago.

He never cried.He didn't understand those funeral rules, but he did it very straightforwardly.Xu Jingqiang took a look, and Zou Yan said that he wanted to deal with it alone.

Li Zhefei also came back from City B.His family has never changed here.His parents don't seem to be so busy anymore, and they came back early for the New Year.

Before that, he sent Zou Zhe a WeChat message, but Zou Zou never replied, but he didn't block him either.

On New Year's Eve, Zou Wei stayed at home alone. Like Lu Yueping would do in previous years, he carefully wiped the floor and windows of the house with a rag, then sat on the sofa with his legs crossed, waited for the water to dry, and then gave his aunt a nap. Telephone.

They have long stopped celebrating the New Year with their aunt.My aunt has a family of her own.So how did Lu Yueping spend the Spring Festival in the past three years?

Zou Yan hung up the phone but still held the phone in front of him, dazed.

The TV was turned on a long time ago, before the Spring Festival Gala time, and the news was playing.Zou Wei listened to the sound of the TV, always felt that the scene was very familiar, but there was also a kind of strangeness after too many years.

Alfredo invited him to video.Zou Wei hadn't heard the voice of this software for more than half a year, and he was surprised when he heard it suddenly. He saw that it was Alfredo, so he turned down the TV sound a bit, and connected it up.

Alfredo was at noon, and the sun was shining brightly. He turned his mobile phone around and showed it to Zou: "I know it's the Spring Festival in China these few days. What are you doing?"

Zou Yan didn't intend to go around his house with a smirk like him, so he changed the camera to let him watch the TV screen: "Waiting to watch the Spring Festival Gala."

After speaking, he switched the camera back.

"Wow! I've heard of this, it's a four or five hour live broadcast!" Alfredo nodded approvingly.

Zou Yan smiled: "Yeah."

Alfredo asked him: "How is your mother? When will you be back?"

Zou Yan looked into his eyes and replied softly, "I don't have a mother anymore."

Alfredo paused, opened his mouth and then closed it, presumably wanting to comfort Zou Yan and fearing that he might say the wrong thing.Zou Zhe flicked the phone screen with a smile, as if he flicked Alfredo's forehead: "Have fun bro, the weather in Italy this winter is very good. I'm going to watch the show."

Alfredo also smiled: "Well. When you come back, I will be a year older than you."

Zou Yan nodded, and Alfredo suddenly said to him in Chinese: "New Year, Happy, Happy."

In the past two months, Zou Yan was so relaxed for the first time, and the nerves that were tense due to sadness and confusion were suddenly relieved.

Alfredo will send him photos and messages, all using WeChat.So the two chatted almost at different times.

Although he and Alfredo are just friends at the moment, the feeling of being waited on will make people unconsciously follow along with expectations.

Zou Yan looked at Lu Yueping's photo, and celebratory music came from the TV.He smiled and murmured: "It seems that it is not difficult to walk alone."

It was late at night, and Zou was sleepy, but he still watched the Spring Festival Gala with Lu Yueping.After turning off the TV, Zou gathered up his clothes and was about to go to bed, when the phone rang again.

An unknown number called him.

Zou Wei intuitively felt that it was probably Han Yike who called so late, and no one could be so "unreliable" except her.But no, it was Li Zhefei.

"Zou Zhe, Happy New Year." Li Zhefei called him.

Zou Yan's sleepiness was replaced by exhaustion.He wasn't sleepy, he was conscious, but he just felt a dull pain in his chest.He felt that he was a big balloon filled with various emotions, whether it was grievances, grief, or anger, it was almost about to be burst by Li Zhefei's light and needle-like words.But he didn't explode in the end, he was just discouraged, and his emotions were still accumulated in his heart.

Happy New Year, Little Painter.

Zou, happy new year.

The nicknames that came casually in the past seem to have become difficult to say now, and the bits and pieces of the past have long been replaced by disgust.Perhaps Li Zhefei had long forgotten that he was unintentionally being kind to Zou Yan.Li Zhefei didn't take those things seriously, but Zou Yan locked them up and hid them, like a Scrooge hoarding gold, he used them miserly and didn't let anyone know, but he always knew where they were and their value in his heart geometry.

"Li Zhefei," Zou Yan seemed to be sighing, "what on earth are you going to tell me?"

Before Li Zhefei could speak, Zou Yan said again: "You said you were sorry for me. If you were talking about what happened to Hu Jiajing back then, I don't think it's necessary. I'm not angry with you, and I don't blame you. I can even I understand you."

Li Zhefei hurriedly said, "No! Not that one!"

Zou Yan was about to hang up the phone, but he held back and asked him, "Then what do you want to say?"

Li Zhefei didn't speak at first, and after a long time, he took a deep breath and said, "I, I said you...disgusted me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that about you."

Zou Yan sat back under the quilt, closed his eyes and replied, "Is it finished?"

Li Zhefei was a little surprised, probably because he didn't hear the expected answer, he called him in a sad tone: "You...don't forgive me?"

"Li Zhefei," Zou Yan turned on the speakerphone and put the phone on the bedside, "You don't have to. After so many years, you suddenly came to me and said you are sorry. I scared you at that time, so you hurt me. After so many years, You are so good that you can be admitted to the same school as Huang Wen, and I have done what I want to do. Look, does it matter who is right and who is wrong? You and I have not been affected at all, have we?"

What he said, it seemed that the person who cried and hugged Lu Yueping when he went home and said "he doesn't like me" wasn't Zou Yan.Speaking of which, only Zou Yan can understand how badly he was injured.He really couldn't figure out where he was wrong, but he saw it a lot, and he understood.What could Li Zhefei do wrong?He is just the same as he has always emphasized, not to be with people he doesn't like, and not to do things he doesn't like.

Li Zhefei said so confidently at that time.

But Li Zhefei denied it again: "No! I...I shouldn't say that about you...I, I don't hate you, it's me...I was really scared."

Zou Yan gave a "hmm" and said, "Understood."

"I..." Li Zhefei opened his mouth but remained silent.

Zou Yan turned off the speakerphone and took the phone back: "Happy New Year." After speaking, he didn't give Li Zhefei a chance to speak, and hung up the phone.

On the morning of the first day of the new year, Zou woke up late because he slept too late before.

When I woke up, my eyes were swollen out of shape again.

Zou Wei felt that his physique was also perfect. If he went to bed late, he would suffer from insomnia, and if he suffered from insomnia, his eyes would be swollen.

Obviously, he just couldn't sleep last night.He didn't think about anything.