All your life is gentle

Zi Shi looked at his younger brother.The little boy tried his best to pretend to be calm, and there were two clusters of beating flames in the depths of his eyes.

Suddenly came to my senses: How could I have made such a mistake!No matter how steady Zizhou is, he has just turned 15 after all.For unsophisticated youths, those dangers, those secrets, the past shrouded in murderous mist, and the thrilling future are all irresistible temptations!What's more, it is closely related to one's own life experience - who can resist not to pursue it?And who is qualified to stop him from pursuing it?

For a while the head was as big as a bucket.How did Dad leave such an unmanageable mess?He hardly dared to look at his younger brother, leaned against the back of the chair, and said weakly: "You let me think about it——wait for me to think about it, and then talk about it in two days."

Zi Zhou responded, took the book and went back to his room.

After all, he is a good boy.No matter how strong the desire in the bottom of my heart is, I still have to wait for the approval of my parents.Don't yell, don't shout, don't make noise, don't fight cold wars, and don't run away from home with a slam of the door to make you look good.

But even so, be more cautious.

Zi Shi smiled wryly.It's hard being a parent.

Zigui came back and just entered the courtyard when he saw his eldest brother sitting by the window with books on the table and a pen in his hand, but his eyes did not move from the window for a long time.I don't know where to look, but I don't seem to see myself.Thinking of when I was in Wang's house, I feel sad for no reason. Could it be that the two brothers quarreled?Worrying about my eldest brother like this... Standing in the yard and thinking about it, I stretched out my hand and folded a few half-opened hibiscus branches, and carried them into the white porcelain beauty goblet inserted on the window sill.

Only then did Zi Shi see her: "I'm back."

Zigui frowned slightly while pruning the branches and leaves: "Brother, this flower is supposed to be pretty enough for this bottle. Why do I always feel that...it's not as good-looking as the little red flower you planted in the bamboo tube before?"

That period of seclusion in Juegu was too beautiful to recall.The three brothers and sisters have not mentioned the details of those days for a long time.

"That kind of natural and comfortable beauty is hard to come by. I just matched them together by coincidence. The thing in your hand is beautiful, and the traces of artificial carving are too obvious-how can human power surpass nature? Of course it's almost like Shen Yun..." When Zi Shi mentioned this, it was like a conditioned reflex, he naturally turned his mind around, and talked with eloquence, clearly and logically.

Zigui sat down opposite him, resting his chin on his hands, listened for a while, then suddenly said: "Brother, I think—you should actually rest assured Zizhou."

Zi Shi was talking excitedly, but stopped abruptly when he heard the words.

"I think you can rest assured Zizhou." Zigui repeated earnestly, "We all understand what you mean. Big brother always wants to make us safe and happy. But... I think, big brother, you are actually worried. I think ...I think, elder brother should believe in Zi Zhou—" he spoke smoothly, "believe that he understands your painstaking efforts, believe in his ability. Also, you might as well—believe in his luck."

Seeing his sister's rare solemn expression, Zi Shi was stunned for a while, then slowly raised the corners of his mouth.

The sister's words, like the wind blowing away the clouds, and the sunrise and the mist, pulled him out of the haze of many days.Sure enough, if you don't care about it, you will be confused. This time, you have got into a dead end, and you can't extricate yourself from the pre-set troubles.The mood suddenly brightened, and he smiled heartily: "Zigui...has really grown up. You are right, I shouldn't be paranoid, I should trust Zizhou."

——Believe in his ability, and also believe in his luck.

I can't help but sigh: Only young people can speak such bold words.But I dare not have such confidence in God.However, with regard to the hope for the future, I can't overthrow their so-called possible with my so-called must-have.Newborn calves and young eagles have their own world, and I have no right to deprive them of it.

A thought slipped by inadvertently: what made me become so vicissitudes? ...Or, just returned to the original form...

Suddenly Ting Zigui continued: "Brother, there is another thing, that is...Brother Changsheng...Maybe, maybe he was delayed by something unexpected. Maybe, he has already arrived in Xijing, but...can't find us. It's like believing Same as Zi Zhou, big brother, you have to trust Brother Changsheng... you have to trust him... trust him..."

Zi Shi said in his heart: "Stop it, don't talk anymore, stop—" His throat was blocked by something, he couldn't utter a word, and his mind went blank.I don't know how long it took before I finally calmed down and smiled wryly: This girl has learned all her tricks, and she doesn't allow people to leave scars—she came up with a soft knife, cut the sores mercilessly, pulled out the pus, and released serum poison... She is not afraid Her elder brother would lose too much blood and die of pain.The young man is fierce...

Standing up slowly while leaning on the table: "Zigui. This matter... I know it well. You don't have to worry. I... have a headache, go lie down for a while. You guys eat dinner first, don't call me."

With tears in his eyes, Zigui called out, "Brother..." Choked.He stared blankly at the thin and lonely figure stepping into the door, unable to say or do anything.Over the past year or so, sometimes when I look at my elder brother, I feel more and more that he is like the bright and bright moon in the sky, shining thousands of miles of light on the world, and I am alone guarding the boundless loneliness.Even the people around him can only look up at that beautiful figure and enjoy the faint brilliance he bestows. ——And his loneliness can't share the slightest bit.

Zigui could only ask silently over and over again: "Brother Changsheng, why... haven't you come back?"

Zi Shi put himself down on the bed little by little, the small stone pendant on his chest was like a soldering iron, as if it was about to burn a hole in his heart.I had to hold it in my hand and wait for it to cool down gradually.

I was worried that the rope loop was not strong enough, so I planned to replace it with a silk thread.I took it off and inspected it, only to find that a thin rope was so strong that it couldn't be pulled no matter what, so I put it on again.

Hold the stone pendant in the palm of your hand, pinch a piece of rope with your fingertips and twist it back and forth.I thought to myself: I don’t know what he made of it, it’s so strong... He just disappeared without a trace, but wrapped the noose around my neck... Hateful...

People are like the wind and enter the river and clouds, and love is like the sticky flakes after the rain.

too hateful...

I still want to thank Zigui for uncovering the scars, so that I no longer avoid the problems that I should have faced long ago.Zi Shi collected his mind, sat up, and decided to block part of his nerves temporarily, use his rationality, and objectively analyze the scar that was deepening day by day.

It will soon be two years after Fenglan Pass.With his ability, what can happen that there is no news for two years?Already here, but can't find yourself?Less likely.He grew up in Changyang and has a family background. There must be a relationship in Xijing City, and he can be found out by going to the yamen of the Governor's Department of Defense.What's more, because of "Fu Wen Tang", "Jiangnan Li Sheng" is very famous.Others can't guess it, but he can definitely guess it.

So...this person, I'm afraid...either...forgotten, or...dead.

— Either forget it, or die.

Subconsciously picked up a peanut from the plate on the desk.Peel it off, take off the red clothes, and hold two white and fat peanut kernels in the palm.Look at this one: "Forgot?" Then look at that one: "Dead?"

Hold this one first, put it in front of you and watch it.

He said to himself: "Well, it's very possible—love in times of adversity and troubled times come quickly and come hard. However, after a few times of morning clouds, evening rain, golden wind and jade dew, it will be gone when it leaves this environment. It’s like a dream? It’s like two straight lines converging and intersecting by chance, and then returning to their own tracks... Forget it and forget it. It’s going to rain and people have to change their hearts. There’s nothing you can do about it. Besides Yes, from the beginning to the end, he is benevolent and righteous, so why are you unwilling to be unbalanced?"

I was about to put it in my mouth, but stopped again.

"But--"

The torrent of memory broke through the gate suddenly, and instantly expanded into a warm sea area, supporting itself to undulate among the clear water and blue sky.For so long, I have firmly controlled the past that I dare not open easily. Once I let it go, I can never take it back.Every wave, every drop of water in the ocean casts his face, his smile, his eyes, his voice, his embrace, his figure...until he completely melts himself...

Thinking about it, he said: "Every year has today, and every year has today."

"I want you to remember this moment forever," he said.

He cut off a strand of blue hair, and promised in his ear: "I will find you, wait for me."

…………

Shaking his head, he tried his best to pull himself out of the memories, and came to a conclusion rationally: how could such a Gu Changsheng change his mind?

Slowly put it back and pinch the other one.

"Then...probably...dead..." As soon as this thought came to his mind, his chest was hit hard.With a shake of the hand, two peanuts rolled to the ground and fell into four petals.

Zi Shi arched his body in pain, panting heavily.

Reason did not stop working, and continued to spin: "People will die. So many people have died, why can't Gu Changsheng die? He appeared for no reason, and then disappeared for no reason—could it be that he was the one who came through time travel?" The one from? Ha!"

But... is it... really... dead? ...

Zi Shi felt his viscera twitch, and he shrank into a ball, unable to find any support.

It seemed that the rational Li Zishi was looking at his frail self with mocking pity, and stabbed him to the end: You refused to accept such a simple fact?Could it be that you would rather he had a change of heart?Really worthless, the more you mess around, the more you go back...

No.No.No. ... To live you want to see people, and to die you want to see corpses.Seeing a person wants to make his life worse than death, and seeing a corpse wants to bring him back to life-how can he let him go so easily.My mind suddenly became clear, and my eyes were bright: He didn't come to me, why didn't I try to find him?How can you just let it go like this, even if you try your luck?In this Xijing city, look for...

The mood and body gradually relaxed, and he lay down on his back with a "tong".He wiped his forehead with his hand, his brow covered with cold sweat.Thinking about finding someone, I suddenly thought of the words "trying luck", and my heart moved, and I immediately went to the edge of the bed to search for the peanut kernels that fell on the ground.It turned out to be in front of the bed.Two peanuts fell into four petals, with two pieces facing up and two pieces facing down—it turned out to be a flat hexagram that is half yin and half yang, which is not ominous.

Heh... wry smile.These days, even the gods practice Tai Chi with people.

At the end of April in the sixth year of Tianyou, Jing Zhaoming Lunsi (equivalent to the department in charge of spiritual civilization construction and education in the capital of later generations) notified newly admitted scholars to report for duty, and encouraged those who ranked high to find someone to recommend for the Imperial Academy.

Guozijian is the national elite talent reserve institution of the Jinxia Dynasty, and its teachers represent the highest contemporary academic level of Jinxia.Outstanding scholars who pass each round of the spring examination can apply for the examination under the recommendation of gentry and celebrities.After entering the exam, you can get focused and oriented training, and then take the autumn exam, you will naturally be much more confident.

It's just that no matter how good the original intention is, once the atmosphere is bad, it will inevitably deteriorate.Today's Guozijian has become a fertile ground for the powerful and wealthy to pull connections and go through the back door.On the surface, all the scholars with good grades in the spring examination have a chance, but in fact, all the scholars who enter are rich and rich.These young men and boys with backgrounds and backers gathered together after school all day long, fighting cocks and horses, messing with grass and flowers, coming roaring, and rushing away, almost becoming a major disaster in Xijing City.The common people secretly circulated: "It is better to hit the plague students than to recruit supervisors."

With such a bad reputation for the Imperial Academy, Zizhou naturally disdains to take the exam.What's more, there must be recommenders, usually celebrities in the officialdom or among scholars, which is not feasible at all.He had no choice but to immerse himself in his studies and work hard, working hard in silence.

——Before, the eldest brother finally agreed to him to participate in the autumn test, and the two brothers clapped their hands together as an oath, and they agreed in three chapters.

First: Only take the test this time.If you pass the exam, try to stay in Xijing;

Second: This time, the eldest brother will never participate, it all depends on his own ability and luck.

Third: Be sure to use your current name and identity until things are finally clear.

"Crack!" The four hands clapped together crisply.

Zi Shi thought, "Let's leave it to God to decide."Look at my younger brother, he is almost as tall as himself.Because he insists on practicing martial arts, he has a well-proportioned and strong physique, and within a few years, he will definitely grow into a man of his own.Zi Gui is right, you should believe in his ability and luck.What's more—even if he passed the exam, he is still under 16 years old. According to the usual practice, when the officials are selected, they will at most arrange some idle yamen trainees, and they may not be selected at all... After thinking about it, there is someone in the family who is in the officialdom. It might be easier to inquire about the news...

He didn't tell Yin Fuwen about finding someone, but entrusted shopkeeper Xing.Shopkeeper Xing is in charge of the "Fuwentang" business, and has many contacts with officials and families, so rumors and anecdotes can often be heard.Therefore, Zi Shi strategically asked him for help, asking who among the original Beijing residents knew the whereabouts of the Gu family in the past.Just say it's an old world friend, if you ask me, it's considered a full friendship. ——I haven't written my horoscope yet, just after making such a decision and posing such a posture, it seems that I have some kind of sustenance, and the turbulent restlessness in my heart gradually subsides.

From then on, Zi Shi only devoted himself to revising the ten volumes of "Shi Li Hui Yao" every day.Although I have memorized and copied the final draft of "Yangzhengzhai", after all, it has been several years.There are no other reference materials at hand, and every place must be concentrated, recalled carefully, thought over and over again, and confirmed that it is correct.This matter has started, if the work is stopped halfway, it will be more difficult to start again, so I have to go on chapter by chapter without stopping.Although he was not in the mood to prepare for Zi Zhou's exam, now he really has no energy to care about him.

After finishing the first volume at the end of March, Yin Fuwen rushed to print the engraving, and presented it to the Ministry of Rites just before the release of the spring test.Because it was sent up as a tribute, no matter whether it was paper, ink, or engraving and binding, it was all meticulously crafted and painstaking.His Majesty the Emperor never liked this kind of book, and the officials knew very well that sending it to the imperial court was like asking for a prize for themselves, so they only submitted it to the Imperial Academy.The Hanlin adults have been in a book shortage for a long time, and they couldn't put it down after getting it. Several old men almost got into a fight just to get a sneak peek.After reading the first volume, I was in a hurry to ask for the next nine volumes.

Ning Shuyuan, the uncle of the country, always likes to save face and pretend to be elegant. Hearing about this, he thinks it is an opportunity to show the prosperity of the court's culture and education.The tribute was also a local bookseller in Shuzhou, and it was also an opportunity to enhance the feelings of local people towards the imperial court.Thinking about it this way, he ordered that "Fuwentang" be greatly rewarded in the name of the Ministry of Rites.

While Boss Yin was full of elation, his brain became hot and his courage became fatter. He led his servants to visit Zishi with large and small bags of supplements.

On the way, I was still thinking about how to say words to tell him to hurry up, but when I saw someone, my words changed as soon as I saw someone: "Why are you so lethargic? Don't push yourself too hard, take your time, it doesn't matter—"

Zi Shi's pen rested on his chin: "Do you think I think so? It's not easy for the sediment to appear. If you don't deal with it quickly, you will either forget it or mess it up. What about your big boss's tribute?" He sighed again, "I regret it when I first started. , Greedy, short-handed, working for others..." He was in a bad mood for a long time, and was also tired and tired. He unconsciously threw away all the usual gentle and perfunctory, and spoke according to his temper, showing a little anger.

Yin Fuwen laughed when he heard that he called his full stomach of knowledge "scum rising".When he saw him complaining to himself, his heart trembled, it was so sour and sweet.Wishing he could hug the person in front of him immediately, so as to comfort and cherish him so that he would not suffer the slightest grievance.If you speak again, the voice is so tired that you can't dispel it: "It's up to you whether it's fast or slow. Just don't tire yourself out."

Zi Shi was surprised.If you feel that you have almost lost your position, you will immediately make up for it.Smiling: "How can you follow me. This job has become an official job, and it can't be delayed. Don't worry, it's at this speed, and it won't be slower."

This smile spreads far and wide.

Boss Yin was so heartbroken that he immediately felt overwhelmed... Finally, he calmed down in the old world, calmed down, and returned to normal, and said, "According to what you mean, I can only say that a set of old books from the east is used as a basic reprint. .Actually, this matter can really be said to be a blessing to future generations, and it will last forever—but you refuse to leave a name.” I thought to myself: This person is really talented, and his wisdom has been long-established, but he is extremely unwilling to show off his mountains and dews. dull.

"You know, I didn't deliberately pretend to be mysterious. It's really troublesome."

"I know." Yin Fuwen nodded repeatedly.Looking at the ice-like face under the moon, he suddenly felt that the other party was so talented, and that he had the opportunity to be so close, it was a blessing from his previous life.What else do you wish for?What else do you dare to hope for?My heart is peaceful and gratified for a moment, and I feel lost for a while.

Called Zigui out, gave her all the tonics, and repeatedly told her to supervise the elder brother not to be too tired, and then the mother-in-law and mother left.

Because Zizhou made a three-legal agreement with his eldest brother, this time the two brothers clapped their hands in a solemn and solemn oath, and they can't just break their promises and backtrack on their promises like last time.Thinking of this one chance, I secretly made up my mind to grab it.Seeing that the elder brother was busy earning money, he didn’t even ask himself about preparing for the exam, which was completely different from the earnest teaching and exhortation before the spring exam. Let me show you how it looks!

——After Zi Shi was persuaded by his sister, the younger brother's matter came to an end, and he didn't pay attention to him, so he didn't notice that the child was inspired by the youthful rebellion and infinite fighting spirit.Eat, sleep, and work as usual every day.There is no need to worry about things in life.In his eyes, Zizhou also eats, sleeps, studies, and practices every day, which is extremely normal, but his younger brother is clenching his teeth and clenching his fists to make himself look good.

One day in August, Zi Zhou went to the Yin Mansion alone to ask Yin Fuwen to borrow the large collection of imperial examination preparation books compiled by Zi Shi.Boss Yin was very happy when he heard what happened, and thought the three brothers and sisters were really interesting.He vaguely understood why Zi Shi left his younger brother to fend for himself, and began to worry a little, fearing that borrowing the book would make him unhappy.However, after some discussion with Zizhou, he suddenly felt that this young man should not be underestimated, he must not be a thing in the pond.Even if no one builds a ladder, I'm afraid it will eventually soar to the sky, so it's better to be a favor.Simply ask him to browse to the full in the "Fuwen Building", and generously lend everything he needs.

In the early morning of September [-]th, Zizhou carried a burden on his back, which contained pens, inkstones, dry food, and daily necessities that Zigui had carefully organized for him—the autumn examination was unusual, and he had to stay in the imperial examination room for three full days without being able to come out. , is no different from going to jail.

Zi Shi and Zi Gui sent him to the door.When the eldest brother put his hands on his sleeves: "Go, be careful on the road." It is an understatement as if the younger brother is just going out to buy soy sauce.

Looking at his elder brother's peaceful look, for some reason, Zi Zhou suddenly felt full of confidence.This autumn test seems to be as simple as making soy sauce.With a light answer, he turned around and started walking, moving forward gracefully.Zi Shi said heartily: Huh?This kid!Where did you get so much confidence?He is so crazy that he really regards the heroes of the world as nothing? !