for love

"Hi, Xie Zhishu."

"..." Looking at the person standing in front of him, seeing his frown that was different from before, Xie Zhishu's heart also wrinkled, and a bitter pain spread.

After figuring it out, I finally figured it out, and decided to go to the United States, but when I saw Xie Jiashu, the courage I mustered would always weaken a little, and then I cowardly wanted to back down.

"Have you finished the formalities?" Xie Jiashu looked at the file bag in his brother's hand, with a gloomy expression on his face.

"Yes, yes..." Xie Zhishu squeezed the paper bag in his hand too hard with his hands, he hung his head, not knowing where to put his eyes, and murmured in a panic, "Family tree... I'll... ...going to go..."

It doesn't mean going home, but going to America.

Because of this sentence, the two sides fell silent, and the atmosphere became even more tense.

After looking at each other for a few seconds, Xie Jiashu sneered.

"What about a person like my brother, even if he goes to the United States." Spoiled people never know how to consider other people's feelings, and their own words often hurt others the most, "Even after ten years, you What can be improved."

Xie Zhishu shrank his shoulders.

"Just go as you go. It's not that I don't know. I said this specially. How much do you think I care?"

"..."

"It's best not to come back forever, I feel an eyesore when I see you."

Xie Zhishu raised his head and looked at the younger brother who had been in love with him for eight years, the younger brother who had been the whole of his life.

Xie Jiashu seemed to want to let him know how ugly and an eyesore he was, babbling tirelessly, every word and every sentence would make the man on the other side who humbly hunched his shoulders and trembled even more painful.

Even though he wasn't happy because of this bad deed, and even gradually gave birth to a sense of sadness, he couldn't stop talking.

"You don't even know how much I hate you, ten thousand times more than you can imagine."

"I know." Xie Zhishu, who had been silent all this time, finally answered.

He arched his body and curled up into a ball as if he was afraid of the cold. This posture has never been pitiful but more and more cowardly and pathetic.

"I know...I have always, always known. Family Tree...Although I am stupid, I...understand how you think about me and treat me..."

Xie Jiashu looked at Xie Zhishu with wide eyes as if seeing a monster.

clear?What does he understand? !

"I, I'm just stupid, not a fool. Even I... hate myself so much, let alone..." Xie Zhishu twitched the corners of his mouth sadly, showing a smile that was several times uglier than crying, "Family, family tree, I understand, I have always understood..."

What the hell does he understand?

Even he himself doesn't understand it, so he repeats it repeatedly, and sometimes feels sad for him. What does he know about this kind of feeling? !

"Even if you don't want to understand...you are so obvious, I, I have a brain, I..."

In the end, I still can't pretend to be strong, tears are too cheap, because these are Xie Zhishu's tears.

I can't say anymore, in fact, I don't need to say anything.

These, they all know each other.Both Xie Jiashu and Xie Zhishu are not fools.One used the guilt of the other party as a bargaining chip for his own bullying, and the other had his back bent because of love and guilt.

But Xie Jiashu had never thought before that that his elder brother was also a living person with human feelings, and would be sad to the point of disappointment.

Looking at his gradually dim eyes, Xie Jiashu has never been as frightened as he is at this moment.

He suddenly didn't know why he was trampling on him, and he suddenly didn't know what kind of feelings he had for the person in front of him who was crying so forbearingly.

All this time just ignoring him, bullying him, humiliating him... because he owed him?So many years have passed, he has done so much to himself, but he has hurt him so much, after all, who owes whom?

The entanglement between them bears a heavy burden on the happiness of a family.

And they haven't reached the age to be able to bear everything.

If you are too young, you can't grasp the propriety, don't understand your own mind, and often make mistakes when you are young, and you will never be able to make up for them.

This is just like the Xie family tree now.But even now, he still doesn't understand.

"You... what brains do you have, you..."

Although he was a little afraid of Xie Zhishu's reaction, facing his brother, Xie Jiashu had never been able to clean up his feelings, and couldn't make the words he said less harsh and less hurtful.It seems that hurting the other party has become an instinct, even if he feels sorry for him, even if he doesn't completely care, but there is no way to stop himself from being hurt again and again.

"Xie Zhishu, just go to the United States, don't let me see you again, and don't come back for the rest of your life."

He turned and hurried away in a panic, as if running away from something that frightened him.

Perhaps before losing something, Xie Jiashu would never be able to understand what the conflict in his heart represented.

After that meeting at school, Xie Zhishu never saw Xie Jiashu again.

Xie Jiashu is no longer going home.

Pei Yin told Xie Zhishu that the family tree lived in Xia Yicheng's house.He thought of the matter between those two people, opened his mouth, but couldn't say anything.

Maybe it's good to bless them in my heart.

He was not surprised that the family tree would tell him "don't come back for the rest of my life".On the contrary, he felt that was what Xie Jiashu should say.

In the next few days, I packed up my things at home, went out for a stroll with my mother, and then it was the day before I left for the United States.

The parting has come, but the family tree is not there.

At this moment, Xie Zhishu no longer felt sad.It was the first time he felt so determined about what had been decided.In fact, he didn't give up. Even though the words Xie Jiashu said were very hurtful, he actually just thought that maybe this would stop the hurt between each other.

No matter how much you like and love, staying here will only increase your sentimentality.

Xie Jiashu will never like him as he is now, so let it go, I have figured it out a long time ago...

Sitting on the edge of the bed in a daze, I heard the voice of the phone message.Xie Zhishu shrank his neck.

He didn't have any friends, and he didn't have the opportunity to give his phone number, so that only Xie Jiashu knew his number except his mother.

At this time, the only person who will send him a message is that person.

"Come to Charm Night."

Just six words, concise command tone, full of Xie Jiashu's tone and personality.

This brother will always be like this.

It's the last day, and I'm leaving here tomorrow. If Xie Jiashu wants to see him at this time, it's not because he wants to continue humiliating him.

The jokes you make with yourself are not funny.Xie Zhishu really didn't know what else to say between them.