perfect life

When He Zihan woke up, it was already dawn.He was still lying on the chair before, his whole body was sore, covered with Chen Qiran's shirt, and he was not wearing anything underneath.Thinking of what the two of them did in the car last night, he was a little dazed.

I roughly understand that Sister Yang accidentally took the medicinal wine, and he and Chen Qiran both had that reaction after drinking it, and because it was inconvenient to do it in Yang's house, Chen Qiran simply took him out, and by the way, Go back to City C.Although he was a little drunk, He Zihan remembered clearly what happened in the car.

Under the moonlight, Chen Qiran's deep eyes stared straight at him, as if he wanted to suck him in. When he climaxed, the man narrowed his eyes slightly, but his handsome face was not distorted at all. look...

Thinking of these, He Zihan felt his scalp go numb.

Unexpectedly, he planned to go back to City C with Chen Qiran, and such a thing happened on the way. Although it is normal for lovers to do such things, the feeling of shame in their hearts is still lingering.

Being pressed down by him and being entered, I still have such a strong pleasure.The body is completely used to and dependent on Chen Qiran, there is no way to escape.Thinking that after running away for so long, I still have to return to this man after all--will we still be separated after this?Will Chen Qiran leave him?He Zihan looked at the blue sky, a little at a loss.

Being eaten to death by Chen Qiran made him feel warm and at the same time a little uneasy - he really couldn't afford another torture.In Chen Qiran's arms, he could still fall asleep peacefully, but when he fell asleep, there would still be scenes of him leaving him in his dreams. This kind of nightmare was like poison, making He Zihan feel unbearable pain.

Now he is not in the car, although it is very likely that he is nearby, but I can't help but guess in my mind, has he left?Alone?This panic made He Zihan have the urge to cry, he didn't know why he felt so insecure, as long as Chen Qiran was not by his side for a moment, there would be a big hole in his heart, and no one could make it up.

While he was in a trance, Chen Qiran came in with a few bottles of water and two towels from outside.

"woke up?"

"Hmm..." He Zihan wanted to say something, but found that his voice was hoarse and uncomfortable.

"Chen Qiran, my voice..."

"It's dumb, it's okay, it will be fine in two days, you shouted too much yesterday." Chen Qiran unscrewed a bottle of mineral water and handed it to He Zihan, who stared at his hand for a long time, but did not take it that water.

"Huh? Don't you want to drink?" Chen Qiran vaguely sensed that He Zihan was not in a good mood, but he didn't know what happened to him.

"Not thirsty." After He Zihan finished speaking, he closed his eyes again, ignoring Chen Qiran.

In the past, Chen Qiran would think that He Zihan was just tired, but after that year of separation and the time in the village, he now fully understands that He Zihan is angry.

Although He Zihan had yelled at him and got angry before, and would say whatever he thought, which made Chen Qiran happy for a long time. The fact that the two of them were able to treat each other honestly made him feel at ease, but now it seems that He Zihan seemed to be arguing because of what happened last night .Having been in a similar situation before, Chen Qiran knew what He Zihan cared about, sighed in his heart, poured water on the towel, lifted the shirt covering He Zihan's body, and helped him clean up.

The towel barely touched her thigh, and He Zihan suddenly yelled in a low voice, "Don't touch me!"

"Don't make a fuss, I found a store with great difficulty, and I'll wipe it off quickly, otherwise it will be bad if I get sick." Chen Qiran wanted to separate his legs again as he said, wanting to help him deal with it simply.

He Zihan didn't resist this time, and let him help clean up.He stared blankly at the blue sky and white clouds outside, and suddenly wanted to run to a place where there was no one and live like this with Chen Qiran for the rest of his life - in that case, Chen Qiran wouldn't leave him, right?can stay there forever.

He Liaohan turned around and saw the man who was wiping himself carefully, and for a moment didn't know how to face him.How can I tell him my uneasiness?How can I make him understand how much I care about him?How much could Chen Qiran feel these words he didn't want to say?

Chen Qiran also suddenly raised his head at this time, and asked suspiciously: "Did I make you angry just now?"

When He Zihan was wondering why he asked such a question, Chen Qiran said to himself again: "I said you yelled too hard last night and you didn't seem very happy. Actually, I don't care too much about who is up and who is down. If you want to try... I can..."

He Zihan couldn't help smiling when he heard what he said.

I stopped thinking about this issue a long time ago.The sulking just now was purely because I couldn't grasp whether I could keep Chen Qiran forever.Because he was afraid that he would leave him and sulked with himself who had been worrying all the time, he didn't expect Chen Qiran to think of that level.

Although he was very hungry and had no energy, He Zihan still put his hand on Chen Qiran's cheek, looked at him and said, "That's not what I meant."

"Huh? That is?"

"I'm just afraid that you will leave again..." He turned his head a little embarrassedly as he spoke.There is no guarantee for the relationship between men, Bao Zihan is very aware of this.Therefore, he dare not look forward to the long-term future between himself and Chen Qiran. It's not that he doesn't believe in Chen Qiran, but that he doesn't believe in this society.

I had clearly figured it out before, and no longer struggled with these invisible problems, but now, Chen Qiran just left for a while to buy some water, and he started to pay attention to his wild thoughts, and He Zihan began to hate himself again .

"Why are you still worried? I still can't give you a sense of security?" Chen Qiran ran his hand through He Zihan's hair, meeting his eyes.

"No...it's not you, it's me."

He Zihan didn't know how to explain the kinks and confusion in his heart. Those worries could not be expressed in words, and he didn't want to show the fear and fear in front of Chen Qiran. He hoped that he could keep a better image in front of him. Well, at least don't look too much like a woman - the current knot really makes He Zihan hate herself.

Seeing that He Zihan didn't answer, Chen Qiran thought that what he said just now was just to deal with him casually.Although the movements of his hands hadn't stopped yet, his heart was already terribly uncomfortable.Just brace yourself, don't show a sad expression, let your voice be as normal as possible and say to He Zihan: "If being with me makes you uncomfortable, I think it should be my problem. Maybe..."

I want to say: "Maybe it will be better if you leave me", but I just can't get it out of my mouth.

Chen Qiran concentrated on the space between He Zihan's legs, and after finally cleaning it up, he put the towel into a garbage bag.He took out two pieces of toast from his seat, and asked He Zihan, "Would you like to get up and eat something? Although the taste may not be very good, I'm afraid you'll be hungry..."

He Zihan took the toast and asked suddenly: "Maybe what you didn't say about the distribution rights just now?"

"I……"

"Would you like to say maybe it would be better for me to leave you?"

"Ah."

"Did you forget what I said before? I can't even sleep without you. I can't live without you. I don't feel safe. I haven't had it for so many years. I don't think it's your problem. It should be My own problems, I am always worried about you leaving, I am always afraid that the previous things will happen again, not counting the death of your grandma, no matter how many people in the family will prevent us from being together. Many people in the company's board of directors, these , have you thought about it?"

Chen Qiran held He Zihan's cold hand, knowing that everything he was worried about was because of him, and while feeling sorry for him, he was grateful that he was so considerate of himself.

"You don't have to worry about me. I won't go to the company until the job can be handed over to someone else. Stay at home every day to cook for you or accompany you on a trip. We can live whatever life you want. Life. Taking a step back, even if our affairs are known to outsiders, the board of directors or gossip reporters make it known to everyone, we will not be separated. We can go to other places or go abroad, and even What's more, we don't necessarily have to be unaccepted like that. The whole society is improving, and maybe one day people's views on homosexuality will change and they will be accepted slowly."

He Zihan wanted to say something, but Chen Qiran gently covered his mouth: "Don't feel sorry for me, I've had enough of life without you, and now I can't let go of Chen's job because I haven't made enough money. Guaranteed to be with you for the rest of my life, I have to manage the Chen family well."

"Won't you regret it in the future? You can obviously flex your muscles..."

"No, those are just floating clouds, you are the only one I want."

A tear fell from his eye socket like this, He Zihan couldn't control his emotions, he didn't cry, it was just because Chen Qiran's words had an urge to cry.

Chen Qiran leaned forward, kissed away the tears, and pressed a kiss on He Zihan's forehead, saying: "Drink some water first, then eat something, you must be starving."

"Well, I'm really hungry, how long will it take to go back now:"

"It will be there in half an hour. I saw a supermarket and went to buy water and food. You can eat some cushions, go back and take a hot bath, and then you can have a good sleep in bed."

"En." He Zihan said as he took a bite of his toast, and Chen Qiran was amused by his childish action.