The Unrepeatable History of Martial Arts

I am a cold person, until this moment I am more sure, I am a selfish person, until this moment I can see clearly, I am a heartless person, until this moment I understand.

Looking at myself in the mirror, the smile is like a flower, and the eyebrows and eyes are full of smiles. I want to control this kind of smile from the heart, but I can't control it. I am happy. I think as long as people with eyes, no, yes Anyone with a feeling can feel it!Today, October 22, is my dad’s birthday. I think there are too many things on weekdays, so I can forget where I am, who I really am, who I am, who spoils me, and who is busy for me. Mom, Mom's birthday is over, and I didn't remember it until half a month later. When Dad's birthday came, I thought I would be sad. After all, I have been away from them for a long time. Remember, in the past, our family didn't care Everyone has a good time on their birthdays. In fact, I understand that it is all for me, for me to blend in with the crowd, for me to overcome the hurt in my heart, and for me to feel that the people around me have not forgotten me , even if I repel them, they will do everything they can for me!

Am I heartless, otherwise, on days like this, I don’t feel the slightest bit of sadness, and I don’t think about them too much, really, I’m starting to be afraid of myself, is this really me? Those are my relatives, who have done everything for me, worked for half my life, for me,,,,,,,,

If, if, if someone could get me back to them, would I go back?No, I think I will refuse without hesitation. I have long been afraid of that broken body, I have long been afraid of that damned undiagnosed disease. In this time and space, although I have no real sense of existence, But I can run, I can jump, and I can live a comfortable life like a normal person. I am not afraid that I will fall to the ground if I am touched lightly, and I can't get up even if I try my best!How embarrassing and painful I was at that time, until now, it is all the wounds in my heart.

Am I really only myself in my heart?Dad, Mom, forget me, I'm not worth it, really not worth it, I can't raise a dog, at least, at least it will wag its tail in front of you, and me, and me, such a cold-blooded Me, such a heartless me, no wonder I got such a disease, no wonder I suffered so much, it turned out that I was cold-hearted, God punished me, no, no, if my parents knew At this time, I can live happily, maybe, maybe I will be gratified, I will, I will.

"Xiaoluo, what's wrong with you, why are you crying!"

Crying, did I cry? I touched my face with my hands and felt the wetness. I was crying, I was crying, but why was I crying? Mom, I miss them, maybe I see myself clearly, this kind of self really makes me feel embarrassed, just like the embarrassment of making a fool of myself at the beginning!

"Xiao Luo, what's wrong with you!"

"I don't know, I don't know!"

"Don't scare me, Bailing, Bailing, call Master Zhu and the others!"

"I do not know I do not know!"

I only know that I am reading, reading, reading, I really don't know, I feel the chaos around me, my neck sinks, and my eyes go dark!

"Wake up, wake up, girl, what's wrong with you!"

Being supported by Master Zhu to lean against, looking at Master Zhu with disheveled hair, disheveled clothes, and red eyes, my mind seemed to be in a mess again, some comforted, some blamed.

"Girl, girl, don't worry, you must get better!"

There seems to be nothing in my ears except for this sentence, Master Zhu, Master Zhu is used to calling this body Qiqi, but since he knew that I was a little unhappy, he changed his name to girl. I didn’t call him this way. He called dad, but he always took good care of us, yes, it was us, it was me, it was Mrs. Wang, it was Maoer, it was Bai Ling, it was Jiang Dong, it was Wang Lianhua. A few days ago, we never When Mrs. Wang left, Mrs. Wang was reluctant to part with me, so I asked her to travel the rivers and lakes with me. As a result, our group of people followed Master Zhu to run around, eating, drinking and having fun. He always made us happy. I know, it's all because I, because of me, and I, as for me, never seem to realize that he wants his daughter to call him daddy, and wants to be alone for a moment.

The bells of the temple seemed to wake me up. I knew that I had no problems at all, but I couldn’t see my true self. I began to be afraid of myself. For myself, what step could I do? Shocked, even more frightened.Am I really a person?Facing the Buddha statue in front of me, I knelt heavily and asked over and over again, but the Buddha could not answer me except for such a serious smile.

Laughing often, laughing at the ridiculous things in the world, things that can be tolerated by a big belly, things that are difficult to tolerate in the world, I seem to be able to calm down when I look at the criticism, and I seem to be able to find myself when I listen to the chanting in my ears. Causes have results, reincarnation between things, I am a person without wisdom roots, I have been in the temple for so long, and I have listened to the sound of chanting for so long, I only remember these two sentences, I don’t know why I will become simple , or rather stupid, I don't want to think about the future, I don't want to plan and then make a decision, I want to let nature take its course, I don't want to be calculating, try hard, try hard to be a good person, try hard to care about the people around me, don't want to Is medicine practiced in the world, then do it, do more good deeds, accumulate merits, for the sake of the true self, I know, this is hypocrisy, but it seems that only in this way can I keep myself alive, I am ultimately selfish ,cold-blooded!

"Father, put on this dress!"

"Girl, you've been tired all day, why don't you take a good rest!"

"It's better to be busy, Dad, don't worry, I will take care of myself!"

"Girl, do you know that although you didn't call me daddy before, you were happy, so I am very relieved to see you carefree, smart, and doing whatever you want, but now, you are sensible, but you don't have that I am so chic and free-spirited, as if I have a thousand gold burdens on my body, I am very distressed!"

"No, you think too much!"

"I am father, you are my girl, don't talk, no matter how you change, father will share everything with you, no matter good or bad!"

Looking at Mr. Zhu, who is worried and forgets me, my heart aches. Will my father tolerate everything about my daughter? If he knows that I am so cold, will he still say that?

"I suddenly see myself! I"

"I know it all!"

Listening to Master Zhu's words, my heart skipped a beat, he knows everything, what does he know!

"Stupid girl, relying on Shen Lang's cleverness, if you want to hide it from him, you guys' means are not enough. In the matter, anyone who can touch everything without a trace, except for Zhu Fugui, I'm afraid it's only today's day! "

"father!"

"You are not wrong, the world is biased, you are my daughter, so I don't think there is anything wrong with you, the girl is actually venting for yourself, you have not done anything wrong, you are just protecting yourself! "

It turns out that Master Zhu already knew what I did, so that's what Master Zhu said.

"You are not afraid of me like this, even myself!"

"You are my girl, aren't you? Dad is not afraid. From the first time you saw me, although you didn't call me Dad, you respected me from the bottom of your heart, didn't you? Girl, people can't always think about regret, people have to look forward!"

"I'm sorry!" I'm sorry Master Zhu, your Qi Qi is actually a good girl, but me!

The author has something to say: