The Little Tailor and the Great Warlord

1.

When the little tailor met the big warlord for the first time, the other party was a bandit leader who had just come down from the mountain.

He was wearing a mandarin jacket looted from nowhere, and he had a beard all over his face.

Open and shut: "Ge Laozi's", "that turtle son", "Rilong Bao".

Gangster

But it's also thanks to the other party's good figure, not to mention the hulking back, and he walks vigorously.

The bearer who carried the gun was not the kind of thin and tall weak scholar.

So even though it's a bit nondescript, it still looks well-proportioned, and it's called fashion in a few decades: mix-and-match fashion.

But it's a pity that the little tailor didn't have such a high sense of fashion at that time, so when he saw a bandit leader who was wearing this mandarin jacket and swearing and swearing, he broke into the door.

The little tailor was so worthless that he was so frightened that he cut off the cloth for making a cheongsam for the girl next door.

2.

The bandit leader was a farmer in the early years. He had never read any books, and he could not read a few words, so he was completely illiterate.

In the famine of the year before last, a large number of people starved to death, and it happened that just after the war, there was unrest everywhere.

The bandit leader who originally thought about farming, planting rice seedlings, and taking a wife to dawdle, in order to prevent his family members from starving to death, picked up a hoe and snatched the guns of several fallen soldiers.

Simply occupy the mountain as the king and become a king of the mountain.

It was also his luck that the warlords in the city were fighting in a melee and couldn't spare enough time to deal with him as a young man, so under intentional indulgence, the King of the Mountain grew bigger and bigger, and finally occupied not only a piece of the mountain, but also a side of the mountain. ground.

When several warlord leaders discovered the problem, the bandit leaders were no longer something they could deal with casually.

After several failed attempts to suppress the bandits, the warlords had no choice but to call for peace.

So this is the first meeting.

3.

The bandit leader is going to attend the banquet of the warlord leader in a few days.

The military adviser in the city told him that such banquets were all "Hongmen Banquets". Most of them went there and never returned.

But he didn't care that much, he thought to himself: if his head fell off, it would only be a scar the size of a bowl, but if it did, he would change from a wild army to a regular army.

Although the descendants will not be very rich in the future, they will never be pointed at their heads and scolded by the grandson of the bandit.

So even if it is a dragon's pool and a tiger's lair, the bandit leader thinks he can break through it, so what if he passes through it?

4.

It's just that the group of "sexy ones" had their banquet held in the biggest restaurant in the city.

The best noodle meal that the bandit leader had ever eaten in his life was just the banquet when the second leader in the village married his wife.

It was summer at that time, and they were shirtless and drinking in big bowls, having a good time.

But I didn't expect that when I went to that Laoshizi's restaurant this time, I was required to dress decently, otherwise I wouldn't be allowed in.

Although the bandit leader is a bandit, he is not unreasonable enough to walk sideways, and this time he is going to make peace again, so he has to show some attitude.

So in the end, even after greeting the eighteen generations of the ancestors of those warlords, they still had to go back in despair to find clothes.

It's just that he is a loner, he can eat what he has, and doesn't care about what he wears. The good clothes and fabrics he got from the robbery on weekdays are all given to those women.

So it was really difficult for him to find clothes for the banquet for a while.

He had no choice but to come down the mountain and go to a tailor shop in the city to buy a suit that fit him.

5.

The location of the small tailor's store is not good. In a small corner on the edge of the city, there are usually few people, and the only patrons are neighbors in the nearby block. Although they will not starve to death, big orders are rare.

But it was near the edge of the city that it became the first tailor shop that the bandit leader saw when he entered the door.

Fortunately, the bandit leader also knows that cultural and craftsmen are timid and don't need to be scared.

Let the group of younger brothers who followed wait at the door, and went in with a gun.

But even so, the little tailor was so frightened that he hid behind the table tremblingly, his eyes were red, and even the native dialect was frightened: "What are you doing?"

6.

Although the bandit leader robbed money, he still heard a lot of storybooks and storytelling in the early years. Babatou listened to the old man playing Longmen Zhen several times in his life. He also imitated the ancients, robbing the rich and helping the poor. In that era of chaos and starvation everywhere, these were really nothing, so not many people hated him, except for those "rich" who were robbed

It was also funny to see the little tailor trembling, he forgot to put down the scissors, holding the pistol to his chest, staring at him with wide-eyed horror The chalk pens used to draw the corner lines all fell to the ground and were not found.

"I'm here to make new clothes"~

7.

The better-quality ready-made clothes in small tailor shops are worn by women, and most of the men's clothes are big mandarin jackets and undershirts.

Although bandits have no aesthetics to speak of, they also know the basics of beauty and ugliness.After looking around but not finding any suitable ones, he simply said to the little tailor, "Cut a new one! Don't be too beautiful to wear, and the suit on that guy will do."

The bandit leader was referring to the pictorial on the wall. It was a new movie promotion poster. It was shown in the only movie theater in the city for three months, and everyone on the streets knew about it.

The little tailor turned his head and glanced at the male protagonist in the pictorial who was wearing a suit and leather shoes and combed his back with an affectionate style, and then looked at the gangster who hadn't shaved his beard for a long time and said with a naive smile: "Haha ,OK."

8.

After decades of tailoring tailor-made clothes, it is called advanced customization, but it is not fashionable at the moment. In addition to the previous famine, it is difficult to eat without enough food, so it only happens in wealthy families. Yes, the bandit leader certainly didn't.

So when the little tailor took a soft ruler to measure him, the bandit leader suddenly felt at a loss, holding a pair of calloused hands, not knowing where to put them.

Fortunately, the little tailor is a professional, so even if he is facing a wooden stake, he can make an accurate one.

But there was a problem, the little tailor Bu Gao was almost a head shorter than the bandit leader.It is very inconvenient to measure the size, the width of the shoulders and the width of the waist are fine, but the width of the collar is...

After standing on tiptoe, the little tailor couldn't get the size right, so he could only purse his lips and say in a low voice, "Excuse me, please bow your head."

The bandit leader looked at the little tailor who was watching him seriously, felt the breath on his neck, and suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

He was single in his early twenties, his old face was inexplicably flushed, and he lowered his head in embarrassment: "Oh...o(*////▽////*)q"

9.

The bandit leader didn't have the nerve to look up until the measurement was over, so he just tilted his head and looked away, blushing.

But although he didn't look at him, the little Jiujiu in his head didn't stop.

He pondered, the little tailor must not be from the province, the accent of the family saying just now sounds like that of the Jiangsu and Zhejiang generation.

In the past few years of famine and war, people have fled everywhere, so many foreigners have come to this province, and several have even been added to their village.

The little tailor might have escaped too.

Although he didn't look at it carefully just now, but he took a close look at it. The bandit leader thought that this little tailor was quite good-looking.

The eyes and skin are smoother than Erlongtou's daughter-in-law looks at the water.

Are all the girls in Jiangnan water villages so watery and soft?

After being a bachelor for 30 years, the bandit leader wants to get a wife. ^-^

10.

The bandit leader was a little distracted, and he didn't come back to his senses until the little tailor called him twice, and asked with a confused face, "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing." The little tailor lowered his head, looked at the bandit leader's crotch, endured and endured, and asked, "Where do you usually like to put it?"

"What, what?" The bandit leader was a little puzzled. He followed the little tailor's line of sight and found that he was staring at his big bird. Take a step back from key parts.

The little tailor didn't expect the bandit leader to be so shy, so he cleared his throat before continuing: "I don't mean anything else, just to ask you about that thing...which side do you usually like to put, so I can tailor it according to the size. "

Only then did the bandit leader suddenly realize, he clicked his tongue twice and felt that this high-end thing was really troublesome.

But maybe he felt that his previous behavior was a bit too embarrassing, the big man was shy because he didn't look at the bird twice, the bandit leader deeply felt that he should get back to his place.

So I didn't plan to answer properly, so I stuck my neck, and said in a loud voice with the usual tone of jokes in the village: "What about the ones on the left and right, I usually...are standing upright!" o(￣ヘ￣o#)

11.

A pure little tailor, who usually comes into contact with big girls' families, where has he met such a hooligan.After thinking blankly for about ten seconds, I finally understood what "vertical" meant.

As soon as his face became hot, he took two steps back, waited until the heat on his face subsided, coughed lightly and said, "Well...understood, then...put it on both sides."

After speaking, without waiting for the bandit leader to respond, he immediately hid behind the cabinet, wrote it down, and then began to ask some questions about fabrics and details.

The bandit leader didn't understand this, and said directly: "You just have to."

The little tailor looked up at the big bird that was still staring at him, thinking whether it was the bandit leader on the left or the right, and then changed the direction based on his visual inspection of the size.

Um... on the right.

12.

Tailoring clothes requires a deposit. Although the bandit leader is a tyrant, he will not be able to take advantage of this little advantage.

And after a while, he will be a regular soldier, so naturally he can't let people down, so he didn't wait for the little tailor to speak, he took out a few silver dollars from his trouser pocket, and threw them in front of the little tailor.

Then he said very domineeringly: "Deposit!"

The little tailor looked at the "deposit" that was enough to buy two sets of customization, and opened his mouth to say something.

But seeing the bandit leader's expression of a local rich man throwing money, he silently closed his mouth again, and changed the fabric he had decided on to a better one.

Finally, he raised his eyelids and made a stroke with the charcoal pencil.

Uh... it turned out to be on the left.

The author has something to say:

During the Chinese New Year, I made a boring work when changing the personal history of "The First Male God of the Empire", and I posted it for everyone to have a look, just for fun.

Not long, about a week or so.

If you are serious about the party, don’t pick it up, write it for fun, just read it if you are happy, stupid author loves you