only in this mountain

After going to the city, Xiao Moru never imagined that the two young people who had a good relationship would become separated. Although he is an outsider, he is still an elder, not to mention that Jiang He is an employee he hired, so he has no energy. If you work hard, as a boss, you also have the right to know a thing or two.

"It's nothing, I just suddenly figured it out." Jiang He arranged geometric plaster bodies for sketching in the studio for the students, and his mental state was actually much better than the previous two days, which actually meant that he would probably become indecisive and indecisive again later.So taking this opportunity, he wanted to make his plan clear to Xiao Moru. "Principal Xiao, I may not come next year after I go home for the Chinese New Year. I still want to go to the big city to fight. Then I will buy a house in the city and take my parents to live in the city."

"It's true. Parents have worked hard all their lives. There is nothing wrong with going to the city to enjoy happiness in their later years. You can marry them a foreign-style wife to make them look better."

"It's definitely not about getting married. I don't want to hurt others."

"Why do you say that?"

"Principal Xiao, at your age, have you ever seen anything beyond your imagination?"

"What do you mean I am so old? Am I very old? My son is not as old as you! Beyond my imagination? My imagination is very rich, it depends on what you are talking about."

Jiang He wasn't sure if he should speak out about his sexual orientation. He had never told anyone about it. Even Zhang Huai, he didn't know where Zhang Huai knew that he liked homosexuality. He held back for a long time. It is especially uncomfortable. Some people used to say that it is good to vent out when you are unhappy, but he is afraid that if you talk about it, you will lose a friend.Xiao Moru's thoughts should not be that stubborn and traditional, tell him he won't fire himself immediately...

"What are you struggling with? Why can't you say it boldly?"

"I... have you ever seen a gay man?"

Xiao Moru was stunned for a moment, then showed his original expression and said, "So you and Zhang Huai like each other?"

Seeing that Jiang He was even more shocked than him, he smiled again, and looked Jiang He up, down, left, and right, "No wonder I think Zhang Huai is tired of being with you, and you don't want to do this for you. Refuse. Not many people in the village know about him, but his father once approached me to ask me what to do, so I am one of the insiders.”

Jiang He blushed in disbelief: "Why do things that seem unbelievable to me seem so normal to you?"

"I think it's okay. It's not so unbelievably serious, but it will be a little... a little surprised and curious."

Jiang He is clear about this, although Xiao Moru is old, he has a youthful heart.

"I was very confused before, because I was not interested in girls, and I paid special attention to handsome boys, but I was afraid of making a detour, so I didn't dare to fall in love with anyone. My family's concept is not very good, although my parents said no. Patriarchal, but it is already obvious that a son must be born. Without their insistence, there may be no me, and I don’t know whether to thank them or blame them.”

"Chinese people have attached great importance to the concept of offspring since ancient times. It is not an exaggeration to say that it is ignorant. This concept will not change much in the short term. Your family has many children? You were fined a lot of money back then, right?"

"The fine was fine, mainly because it was more expensive to raise children later on. I have three older sisters. One of my mother's favorite words is 'the eldest wears new clothes, the second wears old clothes, and the third wears old clothes'. The boy enjoys the same treatment as the boss, but his family is really poor. I remember my mother borrowed hundreds of dollars from my second uncle and my aunt during Chinese New Year. Money, my mother was crying with anger, but there was nothing else to do. My father made money by repairing things. He was greasy and dirty all the year round, and basically had no clean clothes to wear. The dogs in the village would bark at him when they saw him. But what can I do, it’s already like this, and it’s impossible to stuff me back into my mother’s stomach.”

"Your siblings should be more sensible. I can feel that you love your parents when you say this now."

"No, I didn't understand these when I was a child, and I often made my parents angry."

"So, you are worried that your parents will disappoint you after knowing that you like men... the same sex?"

"They are not disappointed with me, and they don't have great confidence in me. Sometimes I pretend to be confused, maybe I know that there will be a way out at home anyway... But I don't want to go back, and it's impossible When I go back, I don’t want to be the talk of those people all the time.”

"Mr. Jiang, you are more mature than you look."

"Maybe it's just calmer now, I think I'm pretty stupid a lot of the time."

"Mr. Xiaojiang is just pure-hearted. Let's put it this way, I can actually understand you. Growing up in such an environment, there is a lot of pressure in itself. Coupled with sexual relations, your parents may not have the most important things. The method continues, your entanglement is not unreasonable, but I am not your parents, and I cannot answer for them, and your life should also be decided by yourself."

"Well, I know. Principal Xiao, I have to trouble you with one thing. When I leave, can the second idiot entrust you?"

"It's okay, but does Zhang Huai know?" Looking at Jiang He's expression, one can guess that he won't tell him. It will be very sad, everyone is gone, and he will not even leave him a dog that he raised together."

"He'll fall in love with someone else."

"It's hard to say. Zhang Huai is not a person who cares for everyone. Let me tell you, Mr. Jiang, don't be angry, and don't think that I am complaining to Zhang Huai. Although your family values ​​children, there are three other children besides you. A daughter, you have uncles and aunts and so on. Although everyone in our village can have some relatives and acquaintances, and there are many people with the surname Zhang, Zhang Huai's family has been an only seedling since his grandfather's generation. His father died in childbirth, and Zhang Huai's mother passed away when he was in college. Although he had an older sister, he was infertile, so their family was really cut off. Who didn't feel sad, when Yun Yuan came to find I was full of tears and snot, such a tough person, with a lot of gray hair at a young age. In the past few years, Zhang Huai was alone, and he told me more than once what should Zhang Huai do in the future... Parents How can anyone expect the child to be bad."

At this time, Jiang He was focused on the tip of the stick: "Then if I don't come, he will be a bachelor for the rest of his life, right?"

Xiao Moru shook his head again and again: "Oh, Mr. Jiang, can this be the same? People are much more innocent and happy when they don't have it than when they are deprived of their rights after having it. It's not as good as giving people hope and being separated from him for life. Give nothing in the first place."

Jiang He wanted to argue again: "But it's not..." Xiao Moru waved his hand when he heard the bell ringing in class: "The math teacher of Class [-] is not here this class, I have to go and see their classroom discipline, Next time, we will continue to discuss with Teacher Xiaojiang." Jiang He nodded, watching him walk to the door of the studio, and he could still hear him half-humming and half-singing: "...the world is safe and secure, and you will not fail the Tathagata and not the Qing..."

There was a snow at the beginning of the month, and another one at the end of the month.

After the winter solstice, there will be "nine", and there have been folk songs like "Nine nines, two nines; three nines, forty-nines, walk on the river". The coldest winter.

And the winter in Nanxing Village is extraordinarily long.

When I came back from school, it was already dark, and the snowflakes fell from the sky, slipped into the vest along the neck that I forgot to wear the scarf, it was freezing and cold.

There was a person standing at the door, and it was easy to tell who it was at a glance.A lot of snow fell on the head and body, and I don't know how long I have been waiting outside.

Jiang He was very sad, for someone like him, it's not worth it...

"There is not much charcoal left from the last time. It will continue to be cold this time. You should wear more when you go out." Help him carry a bag of charcoal into the living room, and Zhang Huai is about to leave, and the second idiot is locked up. It was cold all afternoon, holding his trouser legs and coquettishly trying to prevent him from leaving.

Suddenly, he felt that he was not as good as a dog, and a dog knew how to be grateful.

"I'll pour you a glass of hot water."

In fact, Jiang He is easily influenced by others, his will is not firm, and he worries about gains and losses.He is not a hard-hearted person. After Zhang Huai stood in the snow for so long, he still couldn't let him in. He couldn't do it, especially after talking about those things with Xiao Moru, maybe he told others that he was not. So heartless, the boulder in his heart suddenly loosened a little.But he still had to pretend to be calm to hide the pain in his heart that was being torn apart.

The effect of force is mutual, their lives have been stuck together, and they are separated abruptly, which makes him feel uncomfortable.

The scalding boiling water was steaming and cooling down slowly on the coffee table. Zhang Huai didn't take a sip and planned to leave. As soon as he stood up, he felt that his eyes went dark, and all the lights disappeared in an instant. Mobile phone screen with rivers of information.

I don't know if it was a trip or a power outage, but Jiang He's voice came from the kitchen: "Smelly dog! Why are you always lying at the door when you have nothing to do? It almost made me fall..." The second idiot also barked twice in aggrieved, Jiang He muttered, "What did I secretly cook for Haha? How do you know how to eat..."

Zhang Huai took his mobile phone and went over to give him light. The two checked that the switch was OK, and then went to the door. It seemed that the whole village was plunged into darkness, with only the white snow reflecting the cold light.

"Why is there a sudden power outage? I haven't cooked my rice yet." He basically uses electricity to cook here. When the power is cut off, he worries about not having enough hot water to make noodles. There were two packs of instant noodles left in the cabinet, but when he opened the cabinet door and took a photo with the flashlight, he was so scared that he almost threw the flashlight out.

There was a huge golden weasel lying on the side of the cabinet, its two pitch-black eyes were illuminated by the flashlight, which made it a little scary and weird. Seeing Jiang He's panic-stricken look, it clearly showed a hint of sneer.

When Zhang Huai came over, the thing had already left. He thought that Jiang He had been frightened by something, so he hurriedly asked him what was wrong.

Holding the empty packing bag, Jiang He scolded that stinky weasel in his heart, and replied, "It's okay, there was a mouse just now."

There is no dinner at all, and I don't know when the call will come. I'm afraid that even if they come, they will be starving with hunger.

"Go to my house and cook dumplings for you." Worried that he would not agree, Zhang Huai added, "I'll send you back after eating."

The dumplings that night were stuffed with shepherd's purse, and the taste was similar to that made by Jiang He's mother. Jiang He was full by accident.Drinking tea by the stove and warming up by the fire made him feel warm all over his body. After an unknown amount of time, there was still no call. Jiang He was drowsy and didn't want to go back to his cold and dark room.But no one kept him, Zhang Huai's grandfather and father went to bed after washing up as soon as the power went out.He felt cheap and despised himself from the bottom of his heart.

Stepping on the thick snow, he walked back to his place without a word. Zhang Huai sent him safely and was about to go back when Jiang He suddenly stopped him: "Zhang Huai..."

Although the snow was bright, it couldn't see the person's expression. Zhang Huai stared at him, waiting for what he was about to say.

"Did I bother you?"

Zhang Huai was surprised: "Why do you ask such a question?"

"I have never done anything for you, nor promised you anything, so I accept your care for me with peace of mind... I think I am hypocritical and cheap..."

"Don't say that, for me, it's enough if you don't refuse."

"Really? If you say that, I will feel less guilty."

He wanted to joking on purpose to lighten the atmosphere, so as to divert the topic, because he felt blushing, feverish and heart beating faster again.

"You don't need to feel guilty. There are not many things I can do for you. Every day I can still see you, I am content with everything I can do for you."

Feeling more guilty, but also happier?If this continues, will he become schizophrenic?

"I'm going back, you go to bed early."

"It's a bit cold, you stay... Ah, no! I didn't say anything, you go back quickly."

Fortunately, he reacted in time, what was he thinking in his heart?Too shameless, too fickle, too pushy...

It seemed that the previous unhappiness was just the same dream that the two of them had. When they woke up, the dream dissipated for a while. The snowy night, the wind from a distant place, blew away the turbid haze surrounding the two of them. Maybe they were already In another dream, he hoped never to wake up.

"OK, good night."

Zhang Huai had already walked a certain distance, Jiang He looked at his back and couldn't help shouting: "Zhang Huai, I will never keep a cat in my life."

Just be careful, anyway, he has deleted all the photos he took on his phone, and there will be no more intersections in the future, so let him forget it forever.

Zhang Huai felt that he hadn't finished speaking, so he stood still and waited for him.

"You changed your avatar."

I was woken up by my phone vibrating before I slept well, and I received two messages early in the morning, one was from my elder sister Jiang Ruoxue, because Jiang He didn't reply to her message yesterday, she was worried that something happened, Jiang He did forget to reply , so I half-closed my eyes and replied: "I was a little busy yesterday. I'm fine. It depends on the situation during the Chinese New Year. Tickets are not easy to buy." Covering the heat in the bed, I forgot about it as soon as I turned my head and fell asleep again.

Half an hour later, the phone vibrated again. He touched it and saw two unread messages from Zhang Huai. He couldn't help laughing as soon as he clicked on it.

Zhang Huai's WeChat avatar really changed, it was a row of small animals looking up at the starry sky.

"Why change this avatar?"

"Because they're all happy."

"Don't use this. This one is drawn according to the row on the bookshelf. You can take a random photo and it will look better than this one."

"Ha ha."

"What are you typing, haha, I don't know that these two words are very perfunctory."

"I'm going out today. Come over and eat breakfast when you get up. If it's too cold, stay at my house and draw. Don't run around."

"Can I say no?"

"No."

"Let the second idiot bite you."

I don't know if he was too coquettish, Zhang Huai didn't send any more messages, Jiang He lay on the bed looking at the beams and ceiling, and sighed with some melancholy.