only love is not enough

In a month, no matter how hard Ren Li Zinan worked, Yan Han still lost weight.Taking off the sick clothes and changing back into my own clothes, it seemed too wide and too big.

"Get fat as soon as you get home, I don't plan to buy you new clothes!" Li Zinan wrapped Yanhan into a rice dumpling and hid her hands in her coat.Yan Han felt that the scarf was too high, and turned his head to rub it down a bit, but seeing that it didn't work, he had to call out "囡...囡..." twice. In the past month, both of them have confirmed that the pronunciation is "Nan".Li Zinan quickly lowered the scarf, "Is this okay?" Yan Han nodded, before he squatted down and continued to put on his shoes.

The right leg has already recovered from the fatigue, and the left leg has lost a lot of weight this month. Li Zinan managed to help Yan Han put the shoe cover on, but even with the shoelaces, it still couldn't hang well.He took another blanket and covered Yan Han's legs, then put on his bag, and pushed Yan Han away.

Yan Han made the last comprehensive examination, and his condition has basically stabilized. They are finally going home.The doctors and nurses we met along the way greeted them warmly.Yan Han sat in a custom-made wheelchair, smiling and nodding frequently, although he would have to come to the hospital every day for rehabilitation, but staying here would make him feel different.

It's raining, but the mood is bright in the severe cold.The Yan family sisters and a few good friends have already decorated the house. When the severe cold comes in, not only are there fireworks, but also a cake with the words "Welcome home!"

Yan Han was so excited that his eye circles turned red, and he couldn't even pronounce a single syllable. Li Zinan knelt down in front of Yan Han, kissed him affectionately, then hugged him tightly, and whispered in his ear: "Welcome home!" ,Honey, I love you!"

Half a year after the illness is the best time for recovery, Yan Han and Li Zinan devoted themselves to rehabilitation.The face has basically recovered, but the vision of the right eye has decreased; the function of the tongue muscle has also recovered a lot, but the swallowing ability is limited, and the food still needs to be soft and waxy; the right limb is slightly atrophied, and the left paralysis has basically disappeared. It is slower, and the strength needs to be strengthened, so standing needs support, and walking is basically impossible.

Every morning and evening, they would go for a walk in the Binhai Park downstairs.Yan Han used electric wheel riding at the beginning, and then insisted on using manual, working hard to exercise his left hand, and occasionally took a few steps on the ground with his left leg.

"Shall we take a few steps?" Li Zinan asked Yan Han as he walked slowly.Although Yan Han was determined to be unable to walk independently, Li Zinan always wanted to take Yan Han to practice again, because he knew that Yan Han had this desire in his heart.Yan Han nodded, Li Zinan stopped, supported the wheelchair and said, "You can't just nod, you need to talk!" Yan Han looked up at Li Zinan and smiled, and slowly said a word "Okay", the tone was very light, and it was a little difficult to pronounce , but very standard.

For the past six months, they have been studying together every day. Li Zinan asked Yan Han to do everything without saying anything, even if he couldn't understand it, it didn't matter.Now, Yan Han's language ability has improved a lot. He can speak common words very well. Although he can barely turn his tongue around phrases, he can speak very short words word by word, even if the pronunciation is not accurate. , Li Zinan can understand what he means every time.

Yan Han moved his right leg to the ground, supported the armrest with his left hand, bent over and tried to stand up, his left leg was shaking a little, Li Zinan hugged him before he stood upright.Yan Han put his left hand on Li Zinan's shoulder, Li Zinan held his waist from behind with one hand, and supported his right hand from the front with the other.Yan Han lacked strength in his left leg, and his whole body was leaning on Li Zinan's body. After Li Zinan took a small step first, his left foot rubbed forward, and his right side completely relied on Li Zinan's hand to hold the belt forward.

He was a little out of breath in the severe cold in just a few meters, but he was still very happy.Li Zinan hugged him and leaned against the railing of the plank road, looking at the sea.Whether the sun is rising in the east or the sun is setting in the west, the silhouette of the back hugging under the clouds and the wheelchair next to it has become a warm scenery. The old people exercising and the young people on bicycles are familiar with each other. Every time they see it, they will smile heartily. .

The thunderstorm in the afternoon washed the sky blue, the sea caressed the beach gently, and I was sitting on the balcony reading in the severe cold, and my mind was distracted while reading.

At this time last year, he often took a walk on the beach with Li Zinan. The sand under his feet was warm and fine, and two strings of long footprints trailed behind him.The sea water is also very warm. The severe cold likes the feeling of the sand being taken away from the feet when the waves recede. The water caresses the calves and ankles, leaving two shallow footprints on the beach.

He thought of the scene of standing on the beach with Li Zinan holding hands, and suddenly felt anxious and irritable.As time goes by, the effect of rehabilitation becomes less and less obvious. He also understands that his body can only be like this. Rehabilitation is just to keep it from decaying, but he really wants to go to the beach with Li Zinan, really wants to stand on the beach, In the waves, and he hasn't returned home with Li Zinan, how can he go back now, how can he meet Li's parents?

Yan Han looked at his limp hands and feet, and became more and more angry. He hit his right arm with his left hand, but it didn't hurt at all, so he clenched his fist and beat his right leg, viciously.He felt a burst of warmth in his lower body, but he couldn't stop, he kept hitting himself.He hated so much, hated everything that happened, hated himself, hated this dilapidated body.

A pair of big hands hugged Yan Han from behind, wrapping his left hand in them.

"I'm going to work tomorrow, so I can't be so willful anymore!" Li Zinan rubbed Yan Han's hands and feet while kissing Yan Han's cheek.

Yan Han thought he had heard it wrong, and turned his head to look at Li Zinan in disbelief, tears that he could not hold back had slipped down all of a sudden.Li Zinan smiled and helped him wipe away his tears, picked him up and sat on the recliner next to him, and said: "You said how much effort I took to recuperate your body, I waited so carefully, but you beat me like this, too Too much! This body is not yours alone, next time you want to do it, you must first get my consent, remember!"

Li Zinan leaned back, Yan Han sat on his lap and leaned against him, poking his chest with his fingers, "Say...something...go to work." Li Zinan rubbed Yan Han's back and said: "These days there is always It’s sleepy, and when you talk about work, you feel refreshed, so I knew you would be like this.” He sighed, “At first I didn’t agree, but your leader called me several times to care about your body. As a pretense, I wish you could go back to work quickly. I have repeatedly emphasized that your situation is not suitable for work, but they say it’s okay, you don’t want to go out, just use your computer in the office and arrange work.” Li Zinan sat up straight and said seriously : "Han, I'm sorry, I'm always busy with my own affairs, I don't know much about your work, I only know that you are very serious, I didn't expect you to do such a good job, it's really amazing!"

For Li Zinan's compliment, Yan Han was a little embarrassed.He understands that going to work now will only drag down his colleagues, but besides rehabilitation, it is the days of rehabilitation, which makes him feel more and more out of touch with the outside world and loses confidence in himself.He really wanted to get back to work, but the problems were equally numerous and intractable.First of all, commuting is a problem; second, communicating with colleagues is also a problem.Even if he can type, he can't keep silent, but except for Li Zinan, others don't have the patience and time to distinguish what he is talking about; there is also a very important point, although he has a feeling, but he can't control it. Usually defecate and urinate regularly, but when he is asleep or emotionally excited, he can't control it, just like when he beat himself just now, he felt urine flowing out.Now Li Zinan is helping him change his diapers, what can he do outside.

Seeing Yan Han's frowning and melancholy expression, Li Zinan could probably guess what he was thinking.He cupped Yan Han's hand and kissed it, and said earnestly, "If you want to go to work, go to work! I will be by your side!"

Li Zinan's words surprised Yan Han again. "I've made all the arrangements. I'll start commuting with you tomorrow and be your 24-hour personal assistant." Li Zinan smiled and kissed the corner of Yan Han's mouth: "Don't open your mouth in a daze, the saliva will flow out! Don't worry, I've already I have agreed with your leaders, and I have read a lot of materials these days, and I have a lot of ideas. For example, many tourism resources are located in places with relatively backward economies. After our development, the local economy has been improved, but except People's living standards have improved, and education, culture, environment and other aspects need to be improved. Public welfare undertakings can actually develop together with tourism development. What do you think? I'm thinking, maybe we can create a common cause and create a It belongs to our piece of heaven and earth!"

Yan Han knew that Li Zinan was serious, and even more that he was fulfilling his promise by doing this——I will be by your side, always.He stretched out his hand to hook Li Zinan's neck, and said word by word: "I...love...you!" Then, he gently kissed those warm and sweet lips.