set of flowers

"Young master, please go back, the Patriarch won't see you." The old butler bowed slightly and said respectfully.

"At least...can you inform me?"

"This..." The housekeeper was in a dilemma.

Hua Qianshu pushed his hands and bent his waist even lower: "Please."

The butler sighed and asked, "Is the young master here to ask the Patriarch for help?"

Hua Qianshu put down her hands, straightened her waist, was about to open her mouth to say something, but felt that what she said was wrong, so she had nothing to say, just shook her head in denial.

"The old slave can convey it on your behalf." The housekeeper added.

Convey what?What do I want to do? ——Hua Qianshu couldn't tell the reason, suddenly felt like retreating, and then turned his left toe to the left, he regained his composure, bowed again, and said: "Please tell me, I want to see him."

The butler is easy to talk to, and he didn't want Zhuge Xingyun and Hua Qianshu to break their friendship due to some misunderstanding, so after much hesitation, he decided to go in and report, leaving Hua Qianshu to wait at the door.

On the day he promised to send a letter to Hua Qianyu, Hua Qianyu said to Hua Qianshu: "If you really don't care, let it go, continue to be carefree, the world in front of you is still colorful; if you are still nostalgic, then try again." ——Anyway, we kissed each other... Judging from the situation on the night of the General’s Festival, Brother Shu, you guys, haven’t you already tried it? Now that your life background is known, you don’t have to worry about it. How about taking the courage to do what you want?"

At that time Hua Qianshu replied: "It's not fair to him." Hearing this, Hua Qianyu laughed at him as timid.

Hua Qianyu said: "If the person you love can give Qianyu the opportunity to approach him, Qianyu can wake up laughing from his dreams... Brother Shu, don't always use being good for him as an excuse to shrink back. At this stage, compared to what you imagined What is more important about his future is your current intentions, isn't it? You are Hua Qianshu! It's not like you to say 'don't like' with a dejected expression... Tell him your true feelings, whether it's likes or dislikes , I’m still afraid, talk it out, don’t avoid talking, it’s fine to really cut off contact after that, Qianyu hopes that Brother Shu can really let go of it.”

Hua Qianshu listened to Hua Qianyu's words, and after thinking it over, he went to Zhuge Mansion to find Zhuge Xingyun the next night... He had thought of everything he wanted to talk about after making an appointment with Zhuge Xingyun on the grounds of faith, but When they actually met, the original good-natured and sweet tongue did not play its due role at all, what he said was just clumsy and stupid words, and Zhuge Xingyun's indifference also made him lose his confidence.Facing Zhuge Xingyun like this, his ears buzzed more, and he wanted to say something, but he expected that he would stumble when he spoke at this time... His heart beat faster and faster, and he lost the courage to face Zhuge Xingyun , but he didn't want to escape any more, so he lowered his head and stood still.

Zhuge Xingyun said: "Don't come again."

Hua Qianshu looked up and could only see his back.

don't come again...

He knew that he had done extremely excessive things to Zhuge Xingyun, and he also took it for granted that he was hated, but he didn't want to be so afraid of Zhuge Xingyun's indifference.He suddenly understood that his so-called pushing Zhuge Xingyun away for the sake of Zhuge Xingyun was just a cover to cover up his inner cowardice.He was too scared, too afraid of being hated, so he ran away, and left, only daring to keep the best memories... He thought that the memory related to that woman had been stripped away by himself, but in fact, he was She influenced a lifetime.He once wanted to find "the only woman for him", in order to prove to that woman that he was not without loyalty at all, but when he found that he also had desires for his friend who was a man, the woman's words seemed to be confirmed, and he began to look at Going the opposite way in self-doubt, gradually choosing to accept such a dirty self, lingering in the flowers to confirm again and again that this is the real him.

He also thought that Zhuge Xingyun had become an irrelevant person, but in fact, he thought that men and women were not rejected and also pursued novelty. He had been avoiding relationships with men for so many years, because deep down in his consciousness, he knew That would remind him of Zhuge Xingyun.

He likes Zhuge Xingyun.Time can bury his mind, but Zhuge Xingyun can cut out his mind that he refused to look at directly, and show it nakedly in front of his eyes.He ignored in every way, denied in every way, refused in every way, his heart was imprisoned by himself, and his body took him to Zhuge Xingyun step by step.

However, when this heart can no longer be concealed by self-deception, and he finally removes the disguise and tries to truly go to where his heart belongs, it seems that it is too late to save the one he loves.

Zhuge Xingyun has already decided to let go of him and start a new life. Does he still want to disturb him because of his own selfish desires?

He should have put it down, he should have avoided doing things that would make Zhuge Xingyun loathe him even more, but his demons were too strong, all he could see was Zhuge Xingyun, even if he closed his eyes, he couldn't get rid of it... He always stared blankly at a fixed location on the first floor, and Yu Hao finally couldn't bear it and said to him: "Go find him."

"Huh?" Hua Qianshu came back to his senses.

"At the beginning, he waited for you every day and searched for your whereabouts every night. Now it's your turn." If Hua Qianshu was not his benefactor and employer, Yu Hao would point out this point with a more stern attitude—you avoided him back then. No see, now he has given up and stopped looking for you, you just wait?

Hua Qianshu never poured out his troubles to him, but as a bystander who always looked at Hua Qianshu, he could guess part of the story.

Yu Hao's words awakened Hua Qianshu, so after many days, Hua Qianshu appeared in front of Zhuge Mansion for the second time.

Hua Qianshu went through the prepared script in his mind over and over again, so as not to stutter when facing Zhuge Xingyun, or say stupid things that were too late to take back, and Zhuge Xingyun didn't show up.

"Sorry," the old butler inside the door bent down, and said, "The master is... busy."

He raised his head slightly, secretly observing Hua Qianshu's reaction, but Hua Qianshu just froze for a moment, bowed back and left sadly.

The housekeeper straightened up, looked at Hua Qianshu Xingyuan's back, and sighed.He looked sideways at Zhuge Yaya by the door, and asked, "Aren't you going to tell Siqing?"

Zhuge Yaya asked back: "Do you really believe that brother can be so hard-hearted that he won't see him?"

The housekeeper remembered Zhuge Xingyun's behavior when he knew that Hua Qianshu had come to look for him half a month ago, shook his head, and said, "Young Master Shu came here just to meet Siqing... Xu apologized for the past." He still didn't know the inside story, But he knew that if the two could reconcile, Zhuge Xingyun would be happy.

"Apologize..." Zhuge Yaya looked at the direction Hua Qianshu left, and murmured, "How can a forgiveness that can be easily obtained be cherished? My brother can't bear to let him be sad, and I can't bear to let my brother get hurt again..."

She knew from Zhuge Xingyun that Hua Qianshu did not marry a wife and concubines. Although she didn't know what happened to the two children, she really felt Zhuge Xingyun's humbleness in front of Hua Qianshu—General On the night of sacrifice, under such circumstances, Hua Qianshu was able to explain to Zhuge Xingyun well, but in the end he chose to ignore the existence of Zhuge Xingyun... She couldn't accept Hua Qianshu just because of this matter, but Unfortunately, my brother likes it.She made a mistake, and she felt that she owed Zhuge Xingyun and Hua Qianshu, so she would not break up willfully and repeat the same mistakes.

But... her brother is finally determined to let go!She couldn't bear to watch her brother being treated like an obedient dog again - he was fed a few bones, his fur was smoothed, and soon he was left aside, alone and lonely.

Zhuge Yaya turned her head to the housekeeper and said: "Please tell me not to reveal any information to my brother... If he wants to, he will come again, and then we will see his performance before deciding whether to inform my brother or not." She turned to leave, Suddenly remembered something, and added: "Don't embarrass him too much, maybe he will be your new master in the future." Observing Zhuge Xingyun's attitude towards women for many years, she has already come to the conclusion that Zhuge Xingyun only likes men In this way, even if the servants all know the relationship between Hua Qianshu and Zhuge Xingyun, it doesn't matter, Zhuge Xingyun will not marry a wife and have children anyway.

In such a big capital city, there are plenty of men who like men, one more brother is nothing.

"Ah?" The old housekeeper was startled by her words, "Is this old slave going to be kicked out?"

Zhuge Yaya weighed the appropriate wording and explained: "Mistress." After she finished speaking, she left, leaving the old butler who seemed to understand half understood in a daze.

……

It's been half a month, and tonight is the first time An Mingxi has come to Huamanlou to ask for letters.

Before entering the main building, An Mingxi was bumped into by Hua Xinghe who was running around. He hurriedly supported the little Hua Xinghe, wondering why there were children in such a place, and he recognized that it was Hua Qianshu's child .

Xifeng ran over and apologized to An Mingxi for Hua Xinghe's naughtiness, Hua Xinghe also bowed obediently to him, apologizing in a very correct manner.An Mingxi looked at the miniature version of Hua Qianyu and couldn't help smiling. He asked the little guy to take him to Hua Qianshu, and the little guy led the way politely, obviously not as shy as before.

It's been a long time since I've come to Huamanlou, and seeing that the building is much more lively, An Mingxi suddenly feels that things are right and wrong.Hua Xinghe, who was not allowed by Hua Qianshu to go up to the second floor, stood at the bottom of the stairs and called "Daddy", and immediately someone entered the room to inform him.Hua Qianshu went out of the guest room, saw that it was An Mingxi, and went downstairs to greet her.Hua Qianshu bowed to him, expecting him to come because of Hua Qianyu, but still asked him why he came here.When An Mingxi asked for the letter, he said: "It's only half a month later, Qianyu may not have arrived at the camp, even if he does, it will take a long time to deliver the letter from Northern Xinjiang, Your Highness is already here."

"En." An Mingxi's eyes fell to the ground.

Hua Qianshu invited him to the guest seat and asked someone to present him with good tea.

An Mingxi looked at the two children who were standing together and pinched their cheeks by the girl in the building, and asked, "Here... okay?" Anyway, this place is considered a brothel.

Hua Qianshu followed his gaze, easily understood what he meant, and replied: "I don't come here often, let's play with them today." They were originally born in a much more chaotic environment than Huamanlou. ——The familiarity with the brothel may be the reason for their excitement tonight.

When the tea came, Hua Qianshu poured two cups, pushed a cup to An Mingxi, and asked, "Miss him?"

An Mingxi replied: "It's not too much to think about." Instead, he hoped that Hua Qianyu would return later.

Hua Qianshu smiled and said, "He will probably miss you and think about rolling around at night."

The scene in the words came to mind, and An Mingxi couldn't help raising the corners of his mouth.

"What does it feel like to miss?" Hua Qianshu asked again.

"Probably..." An Mingxi lowered his eyes and thought quietly, "I might want to cry."