Doomed

Now, I write all this in the form of memories, just want to tell the life of my task person Shen Lang, want to leave his traces in this world, want to wash away his sins and confess his sins.

Want to - write about my lover.

In 19xx, I joined the army and entered the 31st Group Army of the People's Liberation Army, the 86th Infantry Division* with a first-class physique.Because of his excellent grades, he was recruited to participate in the selection of special forces and entered the special warfare brigade of the xx Military Region.Mentioning this is not to prove how good I am, but here I will meet some of my best buddies, who are also the people who indirectly caused the death of my lover.

The names of these people are Shu Tianjing, Shu Leiming, Guan Siqiao, and Ke Xiaodong.

"Did you get permission to disclose their names directly?" Lu Suqi pushed his glasses and asked Yang Pingfei in a very legal spirit.Yang Pingfei said: "I agree, I have signed the agreement."

When Yang Pingfei held the manuscript in his hand, he almost tore the paper apart with such force.Lu Suqi said: "Be careful... I have already contacted the editor and the publishing house. Brother Hui's manuscript cannot be given to them directly. Let's copy it and give it to the publishing house."

Yang Pingfei was very cooperative. He looked at the manuscript in his hand with complicated emotions, and looked at the resolute handwriting.

There are several places on the paper that have been crumpled and smoothed, and some places have traces of being blurred by water.How Pang Hui wrote it down, Yang Pingfei hardly wanted to imagine.

... In 200x, I met my task person, Shen Yang.

He is a genius with careful thinking and withdrawn personality, with high professional knowledge. During his internship in Yangcheng, he assisted in solving more than ten cases.At that time, I didn't think that only one person could solve the case. He broke my cognition.

When I first met him, he was wearing a white coat and a pair of rimless glasses, and he treated people very coldly.His colleagues told me that he was more enthusiastic about dead bodies than the living, and that he was the first to rush out when someone died.But when I saw the video of his autopsy, I realized he was a very human being.He worked as an mortician, putting the body back together, removing the gore, and even applying make-up and normal clothing on the body.He would observe five minutes of silence before the autopsy, and he would say "thank you" after the autopsy.He took such painstaking care of every corpse.

At the time, I thought, he didn't look like a murderer.

……

It was very difficult to communicate with him. There was a huge gap between me and him at that time.His thinking is very jumpy, and almost no one can communicate with him normally.It took a lot of effort.

I'm glad I took so much effort to get to know him, otherwise I would have missed the person I love the most in my life.

A special person, in an undisclosed social environment, their biggest and most common fate is to be discovered, sent to a mental hospital or monitored by us until they have behaviors that endanger society and finally enter a special prison.

The biggest difference between the treatment of "captives" in the so-called special prisons and the ordinary prisons in the outside world lies in the annihilation of the humanitarian spirit and the obliteration of human rights.

Before I got in touch with Shen Yang, I didn’t know any information about special prisons. Our job is to capture special people when they show the slightest danger, and send them to that "big furnace" for reformation, but I dare say that 90.00% of the people in the special affairs department have no idea how their task force will be treated when they enter that prison.Even, they see missionaries as monsters, not normal people.

……

I noticed that his change came after Shen Yingying's case.He has repeatedly verified the fact that his ability cannot be changed by changing the content of the other party's dictation in the ten years before he was imprisoned, but he still told Shen Yingying a different time from the prediction.This timing is critical, because since then, he and Wu Busheng have begun to have temptations and exchanges that are difficult for others to know.

But I didn't test him, and I didn't confide any doubts.At that time, I took care of him for eight years, and he was already my relative.

You may ask, where is my professionalism and work ethic.I have been a soldier for more than ten years, and I ask myself all the time, what should I do.

When the whole society scolds and slanders a person, and even the general orders me, a soldier, to look at him with prejudice, should I do this?

You will say that this is not prejudice, because it comes from the thoughts of the broad masses of the people.Or you may say that this is the result of presenting facts and reasoning.I don't read many books, so I don't know how to give examples of great people, but I can ask the masses, are you seeing the truth with your own eyes?Have you heard the evidence with your own ears?Even if you see it with your own eyes, you only know that a person is dead, but you don't know whether he committed suicide or homicide.

The only thing our people, our righteous ones, can do by booing is to magnify the failure of the losers and make the success of the winners obvious.And victims are sometimes not losers.

……

How much pressure does a society bring to people?It can first affect the person's family, then affect the person's work, and finally destroy the person completely.

Even if I have been by Shen Yang's side for nine years, I can't understand the pressure he is under.But I felt that pressure for a while on the way to Shen Yingying's villa.

What if I choose the wrong one?What if he was indeed a murderer and I became a veritable accomplice?What if my negligence and credulity caused me not to see the last side of my comrade-in-arms to whom I owed, and also caused more deaths?

I realized during that time that what I had discarded was the whole of humanity and the reputation that society had given me.Such a choice is too difficult and too painful, and Shen Yang has been repeatedly faced with such a choice countless times.In the end he chose to kill himself and Wu Busheng.

"Yaffa once said to the Jews that it is worthwhile for one person to die for everyone." I heard this sentence in Wu Qi's tape, and now I understand that this is also Shen Yang's choice.They all made the same choice, and I decided not to let their sacrifice go to waste.

……

I have learned a lot since he passed away.English, Latin, writing... I also read a lot of books, all in his cabinet.There are some videos on his computer, and I have watched them all.I often think, if I had done these things earlier, would I have understood his heart better, would I have been less hesitant when making a decision, and would have been less decisive in letting him leave me before he died.

I once said I couldn't live without him, and yet I shot him with my own hands.

You will never imagine what it would be like to kill the person you love the most with your own hands, and you will never imagine that you can still make a sound when you see your lover's body stiffen with your own eyes.

I still regret the so-called correctness and justice.In order to save him, and to save all the people, I shot and killed my lover, but I was pardoned and commended for it.

I still dare not recall any details of that morning.

any details.

But I always hear him say "I love you" to me in my dream.My bullet went through his heart.I never thought my hands could be so steady at that time.I could clearly see that I was shaking badly.Then I thought, probably he foretold his own doom.

We are only half a year away.Both he and I were ruined on the eve of dawn.

I can't send him back, back to that prison.It's the only thing I can do for him.

"Brother Hui? Brother Hui?" A soft call woke Pang Hui up from his sleep, and Pang Hui opened his eyes to see that it was Lu Suqi.

Lu Suqi was wearing a formal suit, holding a book in his hand, and put the book on Pang Hui's lap.His face looked more mature, and his voice was a little deeper.

Pang Hui has been sitting in a wheelchair and fell asleep in the afternoon sun.He looked at the book, twitched the corner of his mouth slightly, and nodded to Lu Suqi.

Lu Suqi is now an independent reporter. He has no five social insurances and one housing fund, no boss or leader, and he has his own blog.He posted the news on this blog in his own way, and it only took half a year to set up a "Lu Suqi Studio".

He has several partners, one of whom is Xu Rui.

The year Wu Busheng died, the government had not defined the Ministry of Special Affairs.After this extraordinary incident, with the help of Pang Hui, Lu Suqi and Xu Rui published a special report about a special person.

The news sent by Lu Suqi, the only eyewitness of the news media at that time, was very eye-catching, but what the audience did not expect was that the part about the case written by him and Xu Rui was pitifully small, and more of it was this Special affairs department and special characters, and the most special one——Shen Rang.

As the core of the whole case, the relationship between Wu Busheng and Shen Yang has been repeatedly speculated by the outside world, and the most widely believed is that Shen Yang is Wu Busheng's person.No matter how many times the kingdom denies it, the topic never wanes.And Lu Suqi gave a very clear "official answer".

This report is very upright, impartial, and objectively expounds the entanglement between Shen Yang and Wu Busheng, which leads to the rationality of the existence of the Ministry of Special Affairs and the incompleteness of its methods and regulations.This report lifted the mysterious veil of the Ministry of Special Affairs, leaving the real official completely passive.

Lu Suqi is very good at promoting the atmosphere.He understands the views and preferences of the audience, and also understands what kind of attacks and rebuttals the news industry and the government will make.He just sharply stabbed every point enough to blur the public's vision with a peaceful and upright report.

This war without gunpowder has been fought for two years.In the third year, the Ministry of Special Affairs made its position public, and at the same time announced a new bill on special persons.

The emergence of the new bill has shocked the people of the whole country.The news poured in overwhelmingly, one after another, and more people were interested in the so-called special person.Who are they?mutant?What kind of ability do you have?Why is there such an ability?

Lu Suqi, who was the first to report on special people, received invitations from countless news columns.Everyone knew that Shen Yang was a special person, and he was gay—Pang Hui made no secret of it.If it weren't for the protection of the kingdom, Pang Hui could barely live a few days of peace.Lu Suqi finally chose CCTV's legal column.There is his buddy in the column group, who once listened to Wu Qi's video for him.

"...would you feel guilty if you knew that all the information you wanted to know—such as where their powers came from, how they used them—had been obtained through a series of inhumane human experiments? Lu Suqi sat in the studio, looking at the camera with a serious expression, "There are no volunteers, no conclusive evidence, only 'criminals' who have been 'criminated', will everyone still applaud?"

"Society's ignorance and ignorance of them has led to their deviation from society, leading to unconscious and indeterminate 'criminal behavior'. Who should bear such faults?" Lu Suqi pointed at himself very seriously. "I don't want to criticize our laws and institutions, but I'm curious about how much malice our country, our community, has towards our small and vulnerable groups," the report said.

Lu Suqi has never appeared in any news column since then.He puts all his thoughts and opinions on the blog and they even created a journal of their own.During the period when Pang Hui was writing his memoirs, an astonishing number of special people were discovered.The easing of policies has made more people start to face up to this group of eccentric behaviors close by.

But Pang Hui had no other distractions and wrote for a full ten years.

During these ten years he hardly ever went out.He recorded every bit of himself and Shen Yang, wrote down all his thoughts, and insisted on keeping a diary every day.He kept a diary in Shen Yang's diary, as if he was having a conversation with him.Shen Chengyao lived next door to him - the room he used to live in.

Shen Chengyao studied medicine, just like Shen Yang, she also became a forensic doctor.

After leaving her parents, she found Shen Yang's house and forced herself into the space of Pang Hui and Shen Yang.

Sometimes when she braided her hair and tucked her hair high into a hat, and put on a white coat, Pang Hui would look at her in a daze.Shen Chengyao didn't call him Brother Hui or Uncle, she just called him Pang Hui.

——Exactly the same as Shen Yang.

Pang Hui knew that Shen Chengyao couldn't do without him, and he couldn't do without Shen Chengyao.They are both looking at the other through the other.

The book that Pang Hui has been writing for ten years has finally been published.Lu Suqi handed the first book to Pang Hui.

Pang Hui looked at the cover of the book, but did not open it.He touched the cover and smiled, and said, "Have you seen "The Hunt"*?"

Lu Suqi froze for a moment.

It's spring now.It's another March.There is a cherry blossom tree behind Pang Hui's house, which he transplanted by himself. When he came here, it was only as high as Pang Hui's shoulders, but now it is much higher than Pang Hui's.It just never blooms.It finally opened this year.The yard is full of flowers.

This house really belonged to Pang Hui. On the seventh day of Shen Yang's death, a young man opened the door with a key and found Pang Hui curled up in Shen Yang's room.

"My lawyer's qualification certificate was revoked, and he told me back then that I still have a day to go back to my old practice, and I believed it." Tan Liling threw a document in front of Pang Hui, "He has never missed an appointment."

Shen Yang's reputation has been restored, his case has been re-examined, and all the cases before his imprisonment have nothing to do with him. Tan Liling, who can hardly survive in this industry because of defending him, has his qualification certificate revoked. , which almost never happened.

Tan Liling brought a will.

It was given to Tan Liling by Shen Yang four months before the incident.After his death, all assets and rights were left to Pang Hui.

"The hero was subjected to rumors, gossip and slander... But when the truth came out, everyone forgave him and uncovered the misunderstanding, as if all the harm done to him before had never existed, and he could just laugh it off. Why is it still the same in the end? Someone shot at him?" Pang Hui asked carelessly as if caressing the photo of Shen Hang on the cover with his fingers.

Lu Suqi opened his mouth and stammered: "Because... because there is already a gap between him and the town residents, it can't be eliminated..."

Pang Hui smiled.He opened the book cover and asked, "Fei is your watcher now?"

Lu Suqi didn't expect Pang Hui's words to be so jumpy, his face flushed suddenly, and he hurriedly straightened his wrinkled suit, "Yes... yes."

Pang Hui let out a "huh" from his nasal cavity, his voice was low and warm.

"Very good," he said.

"very good."

His fingers touched the words on the title page:

-I will love you for the rest of my life-

-Complete-