i love you after all

After meeting Jiang Yan, Chu Qiu went to the park alone.

Over the years, she never went back to that small villa again.During the college entrance examination, she lived with her grandfather for several years. After entering university, she left her grandfather's house, found an internship job by herself, and rented a one-bedroom studio to live a stable life.When she is not working or going to school, she likes to hang out in this park, because Dan Jin often took her here to play in the sand when she was a child.

Many years have passed, many people and things have changed, the only thing that remains unchanged is the diamond ring that Danjin gave her.

In early autumn, I found a bench in the park and sat down. It was getting late and the street lights had already started to shine.Looking at the street lamp beside the bench, she took out two things from her pocket, a wallet and a diary the size of a palm.

When I opened the wallet, there were many scraps of paper on the side, including last month's salary slips, utility bills from the previous two days, and faded movie tickets.On the top is a small piece of newspaper from that year, cropped and entertaining, with the headline ANT Announces All Members' Retirement.

She couldn't help but think back to that year.

That year, not long after those things happened, another major event happened in Yunzhou that caused a sensation in the entertainment industry.

A mysterious recording was suddenly exposed, and the content of the recording was a conversation inside Yunzhou a long time ago.

The big fire of Sanweizhen.

little girl.

hype.

adoption.

It turns out that the charity that Danjin did in the fire more than ten years ago was just to hype a little traffic.

Shen Guohao's habit of leaving the bottom of the recording has harmed himself after all, and the culprit who let this recording sneak out is none other than Weng Danyang who has been honest and diligent for many years.

There is no particular reason for Weng Danyang to betray Yunzhou, the purpose is very simple, which is money.

So after Jiang Yanran was entangled in the scandal of being imprisoned, Dan Jin's image also completely collapsed.What Dan Jin collapsed at the same time was her position in Chu Qiu's heart.

Chuqiu loves Danjin so much and the small family of ANT because they helped her when she was most miserable and helpless.She was suddenly told that the most sacred "salvation" in her heart was just a hype, a game of interests, which hit her like breaking up and reorganizing her life of more than ten years.

Her reliance, her beliefs, all became fake overnight.

She also began to doubt herself, wondering what the "goodness" she had admired for so many years was.

In those days, she and Danjin had been arguing.

When it comes to quarreling, it's just her venting and accountability unilaterally. Dan Jin always keeps her head down in silence, like a child who has done something wrong, and will never talk back.

But the more Danjin is silent, the angrier he gets.

Finally, during the last quarrel, she said angrily that she wanted to leave her.Then she ran to her grandfather's house alone, wanting to be alone and calm.Unexpectedly, grandpa seized this opportunity to keep her close by his side, forcing her to stay at home and study obediently. The mobile phone was confiscated, and the teacher directly invited her to teach at home.She lost all opportunities to communicate with the outside world, and she didn't want to get in touch with Dan Jin at that time, and later, she couldn't interact with Dan Jin again.

She also learned about the disbandment of ANT from this newspaper.

When the newspaper came out, she had just finished the college entrance examination, and her grandfather relaxed the restrictions on her, so she ran all the way back to the small villa.After a long time of separation, she realized that no matter how difficult it was to get over the entangled things she had been struggling with before, it would not be as good as not having Dan Jin's fear in her future.She was eager to see Danjin, but when she got back there, she found that Xiong Xueer had left, and Danjin was gone, and the Yunzhou employee who was packing her things told her quietly;

Dan Jin died of a serious illness.

She said it was impossible, she had only been away from Danjin for five months, and that woman would have looked at her and cried five months ago.

The staff was busy tidying up the house, so they didn't have time to talk to her, so they just gave her a box, saying it was something that Danjin had left for her.

·

A gust of wind blew by, and a dead leaf was rolled up and landed on the newspaper.

Chu Qiu carefully swept away the fallen leaves, and then put the narrow old newspaper back into his wallet.She picked up the diary below again, and gently rubbed her robe with her fingertips.

Among the relics that Danjin left her were a lot of cash, several bank cards, several real estate certificates, and many expensive pens in her collection.Everything is there, but there is no word left.

No suicide note, no letter.She didn't leave her any words.

This diary was obtained by herself after thinking a lot of ways.Today was also the first time she dared to muster up the courage to open it.

Chu Qiu took a deep breath, held his breath, and turned to the first page.

The diary is too old, and on the title page, the ink traces of the ligatures have also turned into a faint light gray.

-

"If possible, I would prefer to meet you in another way. If not, I would like to meet another person." "But no matter what, there is one result that cannot be changed."

"I love you after all."

Chu Qiu smiled, and gently touched the last sentence "I love you after all".She touched them, as if she was touching Dan Jin's fingertips, and she seemed to feel the familiar warmth.

With a swipe of her fingertips, she directly turned to the last page.In the column of the date, it is written on a day three years ago, followed by a simple hand-painted sun.

It seemed that the weather must be fine that day.

-

"You finally came here, and I knew you would try your best to secretly read my diary."

"Is it lonely to read a diary alone? When you feel bad, remember to think of me more. No matter whether you forgive me or not, you should think of me more. The moment you think of me, I will be by your side. Maybe You can't see it, but believe me, I will stand opposite you, watching you smile, watching you frown, I will always watch your every move, every frown and smile. The way you want to go, I will also I will always be by your side, as long as you think of me, I will never leave you."

"Chuqiu, I know you love me. Even if our ending is not satisfactory, I still know you love me. When your anger subsides, you will still run to me desperately."

"It's just a pity that I don't have time to wait for you to calm down."

"Xiaoqian and I joked that we both had the same illness, and we didn't know which unlucky one would go first. I thought, maybe I'm the unlucky one."

"I'm sorry, if I could face up to the fear in my heart earlier, if I could go to the hospital for a diagnosis earlier, take medicine earlier, and get treatment earlier, I wouldn't be dragged to this point. I'm sorry, I can't watch you graduate from college, and I can't do it myself Putting that ring on you at your wedding. Sorry, really, sorry."

"Chuqiu, I want to tell you that if I'm not here, if you're really in pain, you don't have to hold on to live. I'm not trying to persuade you to commit suicide. In fact, I don't want to advise you about anything. The only thing I hope is that you can always obey your own heart. Your life is still very long, you can always love me, you can love another person, I will not blame you. Similarly, if you can't survive in this world If you go down, I won't think you are cowardly. I know that in this world, there is nothing more terrifying than being in the crowd and living alone."

"I really hope that when you do something, you don't do it for any other external reasons, but because you think it's right. As long as you are happy, I will be happy for you, no matter your Whatever you choose, I will support you."

"I don't believe in God, but I want to find a god, any god, thank him for sending you into my world. Those years with you were the happiest time for me. I used to feel that I was never treated kindly by fate However, it was your appearance that saved my soul that was sinking in the dark abyss. After falling in love with you, I realized how happy it is to live with hope. Although this happiness is very short, I I also feel very satisfied.”

"Thank you."

"Thank you, my favorite child in this life."

When Chu Qiu saw this, he couldn't help covering his nose, his whole body was shaking, and tears fell on the paper.

She cried so hard that she leaned on the edge of the bench with her hands, her mouth was tightly closed, but she couldn't stop the broken sobs between her lips and teeth.

Tears streaked across the paper, and wet marks spread across the faint ink stains, spreading and climbing downward.It didn't take long before another handwriting climbed up.

The ink marks on that handwriting are very new, and it looks like it should have been written in the last few days.The font is similar to the paragraphs above, but it looks much more casual, as if it was scribbled in the busy schedule.

----

"If you haven't been interrupted when you see this, it means that you are peeking at this diary outside. I have told you many times, don't always try to peek at this diary, old things, you have to dig out and cry It's comfortable to be a cat."

"If I'm not mistaken, the cat peeked at the park again. Don't make the trip in vain. When you come back, go to the canteen next to the park to buy a bottle of dish soap."

When Chu Qiu saw this, he burst into tears.

She closed the diary with a smile on her face, put the wallet into the coat pocket together, and patted it carefully.

Then, she roughly wiped the tears off her face, stood up, and walked straight to the canteen outside the park.

She shook her head, shaking all the memories and sensations in her mind, and focused on thinking about the dish soap.