Love before marriage

Running too fast and too hard, a strong fishy sweet smell rose in his throat, but Chi Heng still didn't dare to slow down.The hospital is very big, even if you get out of the tall building, there is still a long way to go outside.Chi Heng was a little flustered.

Suddenly someone called his name, and Chi Heng vaguely heard it, because the voice was very loud, but he didn't dare to turn his head, so he could only pretend that he didn't hear anything, and ran forward muffled.After about a few minutes, Chi Heng felt that the voice was getting closer and closer to him, as if it was behind him.He didn't look back, but his wrist was grabbed, and Chi Heng fell forward with too much force, almost falling to the ground, but fortunately, the other party was quick to help him in time.

"Chi Heng...you...are you alright..." Xie Tang was sweating profusely, his face still had that anxious look on his face, his decent coat had already been ripped into a mess, and he was panting heavily even when he was speaking intermittent.

That was the first time Chi Heng saw him after recovering his memory.first.

Because of Lu Mingyan's obstruction and Chi Heng's own deliberate avoidance, he and Xie Tang didn't really meet each other.

Chi Heng looked at the person in front of him, suddenly a little dazed, he couldn't say anything, didn't show any expression, just looked at him blankly.

Xie Tang saw Chi Heng's eyes clearly, and the moment he saw himself, there seemed to be a flash of sadness unconsciously, which was fleeting.

"They didn't do anything to you, did they? I looked for you everywhere in the medical building, but I couldn't find you no matter what I did. I was going crazy! Later, I saw a running figure that looked like you at the stairs. Not so much, I ran down and chased after him, I didn't expect it was really you..."

He took a step closer to Chi Heng, but Chi Heng subconsciously took a step back and turned his face sideways.He had already remembered him, but there was still vigilance instinctively in his eyes. ?

At that moment, Xie Tang may have thought of the past, or something else, and felt a severe pain in his heart.

He immediately put away those complicated or sad emotions, pulled Chi Heng and turned around, "It's as long as you're fine... Come on, follow me this way, I'm driving here, I'll take you back .”

Chi Heng hesitated on the spot, then followed.He always kept a distance of two steps from Xie Tang, and he didn't get close, and his eyes began to become silent. ?

On the way to the garage, Xie Tang took the time to make a phone call and told those people that there was no need to search any further, he had already found it himself.

"Chenchen, you are stupid..." He turned around and looked at Chi Heng after the phone call, with a bit of unbearable eyes, "I sent you a text message to remind you, and you have already read that medical book, Lu Mingyan thought You don't know yet, but you actually already know, so why did you come here?" At the beginning, the medical certificate made Chi Heng lose control of his emotions, and even had blood pressure disorders, so he was pushed into the operating room ahead of time.But if it wasn't for that time, maybe Chi Heng wouldn't be so consciously vigilant this time, maybe... hey, who knows?

-

Chi Heng got into the car, he ran so fast that he didn't even have time to change his hospital gown.Xie Tang took off his coat, put it on Chi Heng, and then slowly started the car.

"Chenchen, I almost thought you forgot me voluntarily, that's why you came here with Lu Mingyan when you knew the truth... I'm almost desperate... I'm looking for you like crazy, even if you want, I will Stop you." He suddenly smiled self-deprecatingly, but his tone was unusually calm, sitting with Chi Heng, he would always be infected by him like this.

"It's because I overestimate myself. I always feel that no matter what, you will fall in love with me. Even if you forget the past, as long as I reappear in front of you, you will fall in love with me again. But the result is not, you and Lu Mingyan When we were together, I was never allowed to get close. If you get close, you will alienate me. Pursuing will make you disgusted. Even caring will make you repel. Should I say you are stupid or stupid, even the spare tire and the second candidate Don't you want to keep one for yourself? You are like this... If you have someone in your heart, everyone else will have to go far away, even if you don't even look at it, I am no exception..."

At that moment, Xie Tang probably knew best why Lu Mingyan made such a choice, because if Chi Heng hadn't forgotten himself back then, and he still remembered himself, wouldn't Lu Mingyan's situation be like his?Even approaching Chi Heng will be alienated and rejected.How good are you?Chi Heng is not rare at all and will not give you any chance.Self-awareness.

If he and Lu Mingyan's roles were switched, Xie Tang didn't know if he would make the same choice, maybe he would, but maybe he wouldn't be as thorough and ruthless as Lu Mingyan.Xie Tang's love for Chi Heng is not that deep, so naturally he can't be so fierce, and his character also determines that he is not that kind of person.

Xie Tang suddenly felt extremely happy that Xin met Chi Heng first, or when he was at his simplest and purest.That was his only advantage, but it was also his biggest advantage.

"Chen Chen, what are you going to do next? Leave him?"

Chi Heng didn't reply, but turned his face sideways, and silently moved his gaze out of the window, covering the expression on his face at that moment.

After many years, when I saw him again and heard him speak, I would feel an inexplicable pain in my heart.

This person also brought him many touches and memories, and he was loved by him.

"Come back to me, okay? Give me another chance, and I will change." Xie Tang asked softly, as if he was a little scared of being rejected too much, and his tone was so soft that he didn't look like him.

"You don't love me, Xie Tang," Chi Heng finally said, his voice still a little hoarse, "ask yourself, and you will know the answer. How many times have you had the opportunity to let me continue to remember you, but you gave up Yes, because you don't care. You know that Lu Mingyan caused me to lose my memory, but you didn't restore it in time. During this period, it was more than a year, if not two years, right? Was he accompanied by other people during that time? When you get tired of playing, turn back , flew over to find me, and then you found that you couldn’t get close to me again, so you brought this up unwillingly.”

Chi Heng pulled the corner of his mouth and smiled, "You are the one who loves me the most."

Every time Chi Heng said a word, Xie Tang felt that his heart was tightened, and when those words were finished, it was time to pronounce him the death sentence.Chi Heng doesn't like to talk too much, but it doesn't mean he doesn't understand anything, on the contrary, he sees many things thoroughly, even better than Xie Tang himself.

Xie Tang clenched the steering wheel and remained silent for a while, the atmosphere in the car seemed to be stagnant and stuffy.

After an unknown amount of time, Xie Tang finally turned the car into a remote and quiet place and stopped. He let go of the steering wheel and sighed deeply, "Chi Heng, why are you so paranoid? Sometimes I really feel that you are very Heartless, can't you be a little softer and turn a blind eye to many hurtful things? Let me tell you, there is no such thing as pure emotion in this world. If something has a sunny side, it must have shadows and black spots. Why do you insist on Want to pick out the black spots?! Yes! Maybe I don’t love you that much, but can’t you give me some time?”

Chi Heng was quiet for a moment, then suddenly said, "What a coincidence, I told Lu Mingyan this sentence."

The reality is not idealism after all. Even if two people are in love, there is still an inequality between loving and being loved. In any relationship, there is always more than one party and less share.Win this, lose that.

Chi Heng lowered his head slowly, all emotions finally returned to silence, like a quiet desert island gradually sinking.

"Perhaps you are right. Since you have obtained the happiness it brings, you have to bear the harm it brings..." Chi Heng closed his eyes heavily, and frowned, "But, I'm tired..."

Xie Tang got out of the car and found a small crushed medicine box from the trunk. He found a box of medicine powder and stuffed it into Chi Heng's hand, and told him to wipe it distressedly, "There is blood on the corner of your mouth, they are right What did you do? Did you use coercion? Did Lu Mingyan treat you like this?"

When he said this, he had already forgotten that he had also cruelly provoked Chi Heng.But isn’t that how people are, many things they don’t feel comfortable doing, but others don’t.

He immediately went to buy water to rinse Chi Heng's mouth to clean off the sticky blood in his mouth, which had turned into black clots.Xie Tang watched from the side, walked over and patted Chi Heng on the back lightly, comforting him, and twisted into a ball with sadness, "Chenchen, can you come back to me? Obviously you still love me, Why can't we be together?! I beg you, please stay with me..."

Chi Heng spat out the last mouthful of blood in his mouth, straightened up slowly, wiped the blood stains from the corner of his mouth, and glanced at Xie Tang, his eyes were indifferent, "Yes, I still love you, but so what? I want you to respond Me?"

Xie Tang was at a loss for words, and was speechless for a while!

Yes, so what if Chi Heng loves himself and misses himself?Love is love, that's all, it's Chi Heng's business alone, and he doesn't ask you to be with him.

Chi Heng recovered very quickly, and in the blink of an eye he was completely still and invulnerable again, the panic and fear in the hospital had all disappeared.

Xie Tang looked at him, his emotions were surging, and he suddenly realized that it seemed that no means were useless on Chi Heng, you pursued him, but he ignored you; you used means, but he avoided you; you managed to make him remember You, but he may not be happy to be with you.

Xie Tang choked up, feeling a bit of bitterness, and also realized that the so-called most ruthless and most effective bargaining chip might still be useless to Chi Heng.

He took out a piece of paper from the folder in the back seat and handed it to Chi Heng, "I know you're going to do a paternity test for the child, here's the result, take a look."

Chi Heng lowered his head to look at the results. Xie Tang didn't see the expression on his face, but he could still tell that Chi Heng was very shocked, even beyond ordinary, because his fingers were shaking, and his fingertips were still shaking. Pale and trembling.

Xie Tang said softly: "Chenchen, I'm sorry, I kept this matter from you for a long time. Because you didn't remember me at that time, if I told you that the child was mine, you would definitely give it up. I understand your temper, so I had to choose not to tell you."

Chi Heng buried his head low, and hoarsely replied: "So... so it was you that night..." His voice trembled.

Xie Tang had never seen Chi Heng like this before, and couldn't help hugging him, "Yes, it was me, but I didn't dare to tell you at that time..."

"You still have time to dare?!"

"At that time, you knew how much you hated me. You were like a hedgehog every time you touched me. How dare I tell you that? If you knew, according to your temperament, this child would never survive."

Chi Heng raised his head slowly, his eyes turned red, but those eyes were not weak and sad, but a little creepy, which made Xie Tang feel a kind of hatred and cruelty.He thumped in his heart, and grabbed Chi Heng's shoulder, "...Chen Chen, don't blame me, I didn't deliberately hide it from you, you know in that situation... I have no choice at all!"

Chi Heng closed his eyes.

Xie Tang hugged him tightly, "You still love me, don't you? I love you too! The child is also ours, so why not be together? Just so unwilling to let me stay by your side? I am the father of the child... "

Chi Heng didn't make any movement.

"Shouldn't we be together? Let me raise the child with you, okay? Just give me this opportunity as a charity, I beg you..."

Chi Heng remained motionless, and when he recovered, he sighed softly and only said one sentence, "Xie Tang, let go."

Xie Tang was taken aback, this pun made him a little frightened and frightened, he hesitated for a moment before slowly letting go, he looked at Chi Heng.

"That's all..." Chi Heng raised the paper in his hand, and said coldly: "I won't be with you, it will be torture for you and me, if you miss it, you miss it, there is no need and no need to force yourself to look back, You and I are not suitable."

Xie Tang gave a wry smile, he was most afraid of whatever the outcome would be.What chips!All are farts!In Chi Heng's place, there is no bargaining chip at all!Love, children, one-night stands, sex, companionship... all, nothing, don't try to coerce him to restrict him!

Xie Tang said painfully: "Chi Heng, you are so cruel to me!"

"I loved you..." Even thinking about it now makes my heart hurt, but I will always force myself to forget you, even if it takes a long, long time, maybe, I will never forget you, so I will bury it in my heart and never see you again Good day!

Not all feelings have to be fulfilled, and not all feelings are simple and simple. Some are obviously not suitable but have to be together. He doesn't want to be like Lu Mingyan. Maybe he doesn't have so much desire to plunder and possess by nature. Very tiring, loving someone and robbing someone is very tiring.Love or something is not what he lives on.

-

Chi Heng pushed Xie Tang away, turned sideways lightly, and said in a low voice, "Thank you for sending me here, there's no need for the rest, I can just take a taxi back by myself."

Xie Tang hurriedly grabbed him, "Where are you going!"

"I won't be so stupid as to seek death and life, I just want to be alone." Chi Heng was obviously the one who was most stimulated, but he seemed much calmer than Xie Tang, even though there was a trace of calm in that calmness. With a kind of coldness, he pointed to the piece of paper in his hand, with a look of sarcasm and alienation in his eyes, "All of you have given me such a large amount of information, and let me digest it before tossing and making trouble."

Xie Tang slowly lowered his shoulders, his face was gray and silent, and even his voice became hoarse, "Okay, I will listen to you, anyway, it is useless for me to do anything now, you are cruel to the end! Chi Heng, from a I was wrong at the beginning, I didn't recognize you from the beginning, why the hell did I fall in love with someone like you!"

Xie Tang didn't say any more. He turned around and went back into the car as if he was on fire. He slammed the door shut with a "bang", stepped on the accelerator hard as if venting his anger, made a sharp turn, and the tires rubbed on the ground. , making an extremely ear-piercing sound, and the car drove away.

Chi Heng stood at a deserted intersection for a long time, his eyes hurt badly, and he slowly crumpled the paper in his hand.

In the past, Chi Heng always felt that he was as ruthless as he wanted.If anyone feels that he is indifferent, that person's feeling is right.A person's feelings are limited, and it is impossible to love everyone. He only cares about the people he wants to care about, and no longer has the mind to think about others. ?

Chi Heng knew in his heart how much he loved Xie Tang.

When I was in England many years ago, it often rained in London, and Xie Tang didn't like to prepare an umbrella. Every time it rained suddenly, the two of us could only hide under the eaves together. Xie Tang would always grab his hand brazenly at this time , "Don't wait any longer, it's so boring! Let's run!"

He put his coat on Chi Heng's head and dragged him into the rain.

Chi Heng liked it very much, his smiling face at that time.

However, after an accident in the rain, Chi Heng always remembered to bring an umbrella, because of his carefulness and incomprehensible style, he no longer had an excuse to run together.But two big men share an umbrella, and it is inevitable that the clothes will be half wet.So at that time, a coat was always worn by this person and protected by that person.

The moment Xie Tang put the clothes on for him, Chi Heng thought of these scenes.He didn't make a sound, it was quiet.

Perhaps Chi Heng was just a small turning point in Xie Tang's life, like a condiment, and then one afternoon, he suddenly remembered, oh, so I have met such a paranoid and staunch person before.But Chi Heng spent perhaps a lifetime of energy to forget.Things are never fair, and relationships are even more so.

-

Chi Heng stood alone for a while, and finally just said softly, goodbye.

The sky above the head darkened silently at some point, there was a cool breeze, and pedestrians hurriedly walked, maybe it was going to rain.Beijing is dry all year round and it rarely rains. Naturally, it is not as humid and dense as London. Even if there is, even if there is another heavy rain, it will no longer be such a time.

There will never be a moment like that again, not in this lifetime.