paranoid like you

Yang Xue, come on!

March 2019, 5

Today we went to the TV station to participate in the competition, and Fu Chaosi was still so confident and handsome on stage.

But I don't know where my brother got the answer. This is obviously wrong, but I dare not say anything, so I can only rely on my brother.

Moreover, my brother gave me a bottle of Coke and asked me to give it to Fu Chaosi.I didn't dare to ask my brother why, but I thought, there should be something like medicine in it.

In fact, Fu Chaosi probably wouldn't drink this bottle of soda even if he gave it to him.Because what Fu Chaosi likes to drink is Fanta, he hates drinking Coke.

But I was worried that there would be an accident, so I threw the bottle of Coke into the trash can and bought him a new one.

When I gave him the Coke, I was really nervous, very nervous, but still very excited, and I finally talked to him again.

Fu Chaosi is really tall, he dare not look up into his eyes every time, the way he rolls his Adam's apple when he speaks is really attractive, how can there be such a handsome boy in this world! !

I don't know how good a girl will be to be worthy of him in the future.

Hey, whoever it is, it won't be me anyway.

March 2019, 5

Sure enough, my brother found out about changing the Coke. He called me and scolded me severely, but I didn't feel sad at all, and I knew that what I did was not wrong.

Moreover, when my brother and I were talking on the phone, it seemed that Fu Chaosi had discovered it.Hearing the voice on the phone, he seemed to have fought with his brother, but it turned out to be because of me. At that time, I thought I was dreaming on the other end of the phone.

Fu Chaosi would actually get angry because of my brother and me.

But he seemed to have misunderstood that I was being blackmailed by my brother. I was so anxious at the time, I really wanted to tell him that my brother was very good to me and told him not to worry, but I couldn't say these words.

Listening to the voice on the phone, it seemed that Fu Chaosi had hit my brother severely. I was so scared that I cried and told Fu Chaosi directly not to hit my brother, it was all my fault.

My brother's behavior may be wrong, but it's all for me.

That being the case, let me take all the responsibilities.

2019. 5, 13

Recently, Fu Chaosi was selected for the selection of Sunshine Boys in the city, and he was on the show with Ye Moxiang from No. [-] Middle School.

That Ye Muxiang is also very good, and he shared the dormitory with Fu Chaosi during the training for the Mathematical Olympiad.

Recently, the relationship between the two of them seems to be pretty good, and they occasionally play together.

Sure enough, good people like to be with good people?

Then I have to work hard to make myself better, Yang Xue come on!

2019. 5, 17

When receiving psychological consultation two days ago, I mentioned Fu Chaosi to the doctor again.

She suggested that if I really want to satisfy my psychological desire but dare not tell him directly, I can prepare some anonymous small gifts for him.

Why don't we just send some food, Fu Chaosi really likes to eat snacks.

But he doesn't like very sweet candy. I see many girls give him candy.

Fu Chaosi doesn't have the habit of eating breakfast, but it's not good for his health, so I choose to cook him breakfast in different ways every morning.

I hope he will like the breakfast I give him.

2019. 6, 1

I think Fu Chaosi and Ye Muxiang from No. [-] Middle School are really close, they are often together.

I really envy Ye Muxiang!

The college entrance examination is coming soon, Yang Xue, come on!

March 2019, 8

Regardless of my family's opposition, I chose to study at a university in this city.Because I really don't want to leave Fu Chaosi, I want to see him every day.

2019. 9, 18

Recently, I heard that Fu Chaosi seems to have got a chance to go to Tsinghua Junior Class, and it is said that he will leave this week.

On the day I heard the news, I couldn't accept that I was sick, so I asked my psychiatrist for leave and she gave me hypnosis before I recovered.

The psychiatrist comforted me that distance does not reduce my liking for a person.I can still continue to like him, love is eternal.

That's right, I liked him differently when he was in the United States for so many years.Sure enough, people are very easy to be greedy, the more they have, the more they find they want.

March 2019, 9

Fu Chaosi was leaving tomorrow, but before he left, he actually went to No. [-] Middle School after school, but I was afraid of being discovered, so I didn't dare to follow him.

What did he go to No. [-] Middle School, did he go to Ye Mu to think about it?

It should be, the relationship between the two of them is so good.Suddenly, I envy Ye Muxiang, who can be good friends with Fu Chaosi.

Say goodbye to him before leaving.

2019. 9, 21

Fu Chaosi left today, I woke up in the morning and cried for a long time.

I'm in no mood.

Haven't eaten all day.

2019. 10, 25

Today I received news that Fu Chaosi had dropped out of Tsinghua Junior Class.But he did not go back to No. [-] Middle School, but transferred directly to No. [-] Middle School.

Maybe it was to find Ye Mu, but their relationship is really good.

But it’s okay to switch back, I can bring him breakfast every day again!Otherwise, you have to send it in advance every time you send it to Beijing, and you can only send some food that has been stored for a long time.

2019. 12, 23

Yang Xue, you are really a fool, an idiot, a big fool!

I always thought that Fu Chaosi and Ye Moxiang were just good friends, but it turned out that he had long since surpassed the relationship of friends. I actually saw them kissing in the alley opposite No. [-] Middle School that day.

I couldn't believe my eyes, I had fantasized about all kinds of girls that Fu Chaosi liked.But it never occurred to him that the one he likes is actually a boy.

I really couldn't accept it, and I asked for half a month's leave to receive psychological treatment.I can't live without my therapist at all, what should I do?I am really in pain.

Is there any point in living?

March 2020, 1

My mother found me a new psychiatrist, and he told me, never impose your love on others, love has no restrictions.If people who are in love with each other are together, all we have to do is bless.

After going through this half month, I also wanted to open it.Boys are boys, no matter who Fu Chaosi likes, he won't like me.

What is the difference between men and women?

I'm really not good enough for him, far worse than Ye Muxiang.

Although I can't be with him, it doesn't affect me silently liking him.

Fu Chaosi I still like you, whether you know it or not.

March 2020, 5

My brother seems to have discovered that Fu Chaosi and Ye Mu want to be together, I don't know if it's because he peeked at my diary.But I'm a little worried, I hope he won't hurt Fu Chaosi.

My brother seems to get close to some people who don't look good in order to get revenge on Fu Chaosi.

I also found that he seems to have borrowed usury goods, what does my brother borrow money for?But I didn't dare to ask, for fear that my brother would be angry.

Brother, you have to be good!

March 2028, 3

Eight years later, I decided to open this diary again.

This is also the last diary entry I wrote for Fu Chaosi.

After that, he will disappear from my life forever.

The person I thought I would never forget ended up at the age of 28 in those unforgettable moments.

Although I still remember him now, I can happily tell the world that I no longer love him.

Yes, Fu Chaosi, I don't love you anymore.

I am getting married.

I found someone who loves me and I love.

My love is finally no longer one-way.

My lover knows all my stories, but he doesn't dislike the unbearable past. He doesn't mind my ugly skin, loves my past, and is gentle with my future.

He has nice dimples when he smiles, which is my favorite.

I haven't thought of Fu Chaosi for a long time.

He seemed to have literally disappeared from my life.

Although I don't love him anymore, I still remember the past when I loved him.

I still want to thank him, without him, I would not be alive today.

About three months ago, the police contacted me and said that they had found the three murderers who abused me back then.I heard that Fu Chaosi was a great help, thank you for remembering him all these years, he is really a good person.

By the way, I haven't said anything yet, I am also a psychologist now and have my own psychological clinic.

My fiancé and I, of course, will be my husband tomorrow, and we are very happy.

Fu Chaosi, it's been eight years, I don't know how you are doing.

I hope you can be like me, happy and joyful.

Thank you for being in my life...