Shen Shu

During the war years, writing and sending letters was not an easy task; and after writing a letter, even if it was not sent, there was always a feeling of giving up one's life, as if writing a letter was also the result of one's own name. end ofAs a soldier, what you are afraid of is not death, but the enemy's life that you hold in your hand when you die is not enough.

That's why he—since he hasn't discovered the name yet, let's call the protagonist of the diary X—the reason why he hasn't written to his family or a special friend since he joined the army.

But now he finally has a little confidence to write letters.

A small-scale battle the night before made him feel the temperature of blood for the first time.

The enemy who touched the hill in the middle of the night pierced the body of his comrade-in-arms with a bullet. He still could not forget the feeling of the warm blood splashing on himself, seeping through the uniform and sticking to his skin: "One life." He even I still don't know the name of this comrade-in-arms who just borrowed fire from me.

In the training before the official battle, he thought that the first bullet he fired at the enemy would fail due to nervousness.Actually not.When anger reaches its peak, all that remains is calmness without temperature.He almost subconsciously raised the cock without shaking his hand.Almost instinctively, he pointed the muzzle of the gun at the night without a trace of light, and the barrel pointed at the place where the gunshot fired before.While pressing the trigger, he watched the bullet he sent pass through an enemy's head by the faint light of the enemy's gunfire.He didn't stop firing, however, until the attack was repelled - a battle that lasted less than 10 minutes.

His hand trembled when he lowered the gun.The comrade-in-arms beside him who died only ten minutes ago still had his eyes open, looking straight at the position.He raised his hand to wipe off the mud, sand and smoke on his face, only to find that his face was already full of tears.

"What's the matter, young man, are you scared?" An old soldier next to him smiled and handed over a cigarette, and he took it with trembling hands and held it in his mouth, as if he could smell blood from it.He raised his head, and the face of the veteran who handed the smoke was covered with soot and looked dirty even under the searchlights of the position, it was still black.

He didn't speak, and he didn't have much strength to move, he could only touch his comrades who fell beside him with his fingers.

Veterans get it right away.The hatchback was silent for a long time, and there was not only the body of a soldier beside him.

It seems that it has been confirmed that the enemy army will not attack again tonight, and the order to rest and reorganize has been issued.The veteran patted him on the shoulder, leaned on the trench and half stood up, hunched over, and walked unsteadily towards a dead comrade beside him.The hand that was aching from the shock of the gun familiarly groped for the military uniform on the corpse, regardless of the half-clotted blood and dust staining his body.The veteran groped for a while inside and outside the uniform, and finally found what he was looking for.In fact, it couldn't be simpler: a letter from home that was soaked in blood and couldn't be fully unfolded, a few dimes and an amulet wrapped in red cloth.

"Actually, I don't know who he is. I only know that he is the third child at home, and the wife who has been appointed has not yet married. It's a pity, a pity." Saying so, the veteran walked out of the wooden box containing the grenade He took out half of the paper, carefully packed up the relics, and put them in the inner pocket of the military uniform.Realizing the puzzled look in the young man's eyes, the veteran smiled and let out a long sigh.In the icy night sky, the exhaled breath pushed away a cloud of dust under the searchlight.He explained: "Many people die, and things are hard to collect. I'm also preparing to send them back to their homes in the future—" After a pause, he smiled again, "But if I am so tough, I will lose my life That's it, then I, these guys, can count on you, brother."

The recruits on the battlefield for the first time suddenly felt that this smile was heavier than the death they had just witnessed.

"I don't know how many brothers I lost and how many enemies I killed in this position on this night. But I know that quite a few of those who led the army with me on the battlefield could no longer return to their hometowns, and Their parents, wives and children may never know. I don’t know when I will be like the brother who caught fire with me, swallowed a bullet, and then handed over my things to a stranger People take it back—on the battlefield, after everyone dies, his life is actually compressed into a few things that he carries with him, like bullets.”

"At that time, if they are lucky, they will definitely take my diary away. And I will definitely indicate my identity and ancestral home."

"This book will either be given to my family or to you."

"But I will definitely not die casually: even if I die, I will die on the way of charging."

On an ordinary dark night in the long war, an unnamed soldier wrote this under the light of the battlefield.

Zhou Tong shoved Shao Zixun's shoulder in embarrassment: "Senior, you're too close, it's a bit hot."

Shao Zixun didn't seem to feel that there was anything wrong with his posture of leaning on Zhou Tong's back from the side and back. His only reaction to this sentence was to reach out his arms to touch the remote control of the air conditioner and turn it down a few degrees.In this way, there is no need to use heat as an excuse to leave the other party.Sometimes he thought he was simply too witty.

Since the opponent didn't intend to change his actions, Zhou Tong just let him go.Apart from the hot and humid feeling in the place where it is attached, I don't seem to have any discomfort.

"It seems that the author was a scholar of literature and art before joining the army?"

"Obviously, just look at the handwriting."

"Actually, I care more about one thing he wrote than this."

"Who is this 'you'."

The two looked at each other and understood what the other meant without needing more words.

"You also think this is the key?"

"No. To be precise, it is our responsibility to find this 'you'. We have gone through the notes before, but we didn't find anything in it. There are no photos or documents. I don't know if text alone can Can't confirm his identity."

Zhou Tong was still pressing on the note with one hand, holding the water glass in the other hand and thinking for a moment, then said: "According to the date and place written on it, go check the relevant files? Maybe you can find the record of this small battle, and check it by the way. The unit he belongs to. At least narrows it down."

Shao Zixun leaned back, looked at the ceiling, yawned, and said, "That's the only way to go. I thought he would sign his name on the title page. It seems that he really regards this as his own thing. Even None of the labeling is necessary."

"No, he probably still wants to give this book to that 'you'."

"Oh?"

"Intuition. I guess, this might be the equivalent of writing a long letter to someone important to me."

"Oh, it's really sentimental. Hey, if it were you, who would you give this to other than your relatives? I don't think it's an ordinary friend; a best friend, or a partner."

"I think so too. Judging by his way of writing, it should be sure that the other party can survive... The other party is not on the battlefield? He has joined the army but is stationed in the rear, or has he stayed in a city where there is no war? Abroad? I always feel which It's all reasonable."

Shao Zixun looked at Zhou Tong from the side with his head slightly lowered and his eyes fixed on the words. Suddenly, he felt like he was back in college, and he looked like he was meditating with the same expression and posture during the discussion in the meeting.It wasn't until Zhou Tong seemed to notice his gaze, and looked at him with questioning eyes, that he turned his head a little awkwardly, and realized in the next second: Isn't this just a guilty conscience!

So, Shao Zixun coughed twice, and said: "After reading, the author should gradually reveal relevant clues. As long as there are memories, he will definitely be able to figure out his previous life trajectory, and take advantage of the situation to determine the identity of him and another person. Difficult. In addition, according to the practice of writing this kind of thing, start writing about real life, and then you will definitely mention the longing for the beautiful past and ideal life. Don’t you think so, I know you think so too.”

"Senior, why do I feel that you are looking for something to talk about?"

"Hey junior brother, don't be so sharp when you complain, and leave room for understanding."