North to Hanchuan

boom -

A sudden thunder struck Gu Hengbei's ear, Gu Hengbei suddenly raised his head, his bewildered eyes lost focus for a moment, and slowly gained focus.

It was still noon, but the outside world was gray and gray. Gu Hengbei looked out from the window on the third floor, and his field of vision was a stretch of lead gray, mixed with silver snake-like lightning.

During the typhoon season in June, the Meteorological Observatory has issued typhoon and rainstorm warnings a few days ago.

Ji Hanchuan has been in the hospital for a week, and Gu Hengbei has never left the hospital. He is an intern during the day and lives in the duty room at night. Now it is lunch break. He was just squatting on the table for a while when he was woken up by the thunder.

The camphor tree outside, which was as high as the floor, rattled, and its dense branches hit the window pane, as if impatiently urging something.

Gu Hengbei glanced at the time, got up and walked to Ji Hanchuan's ward.

Gu Hengbei didn't talk to Ji Hanchuan much for a week in a row. Ji Ningsheng stayed close to the hospital bed most of the time, and whenever he saw Gu Hengbei, he acted like a rabbit with furred fur, frightened and frightened.

Of course, Ji Ningsheng's appearance made everyone uncomfortable.

When Ji Ningsheng was away, Ji Hanchuan was sleeping again. His spirit was not very good. The low-grade fever came and went, and he was always groggy. The cells that had been abused by him took advantage of his weakness to launch a counterattack.

At that time, Gu Hengbei couldn't bear to wake him up.

Gu Hengbei noticed that Ji Ningsheng was deliberately separating him from Ji Hanchuan, and he was a little annoyed by Ji Ningsheng.

If a different person arranges him in front of Ji Hanchuan and runs on him, Gu Hengbei will give him a layer of skin, let alone start a fight.

But Gu Hengbei also knew that Ji Hanchuan had a very good relationship with his brother, although he felt uncomfortable, he had to admit it.

If there is anyone in this world who can treat Ji Hanchuan better than Gu Hengbei, it is probably only Ji Ningsheng.

The door of the ward was closed, and Ji Ningsheng's voice came out ramblingly: "I boiled this soup for more than three hours, you can drink more, drinking bone soup can grow bones..."

"Brother..." Ji Hanchuan's voice was hoarse and his tone was helpless, "I've already had two bowls."

"There's only a little left, you drink it all up."

"You drink, you haven't eaten yet."

"I'll eat it after you finish eating!" The spoon made a crisp sound when it touched the bowl. Before Gu Hengbei went in, he could guess that Ji Ningsheng must be feeding his younger brother like a duck again, "This soup I added fish maw here, bought the best, very expensive ones, don't waste it..."

"Then you drink too."

"I'm good at hands and feet, it's a waste to drink it for me..."

Every day is so fraternal and filial.

Gu Hengbei knocked on the door, and the room became quiet.

When Ji Ningsheng saw him, he was really shocked again, and shrank his body back into the chair.

Gu Hengbei walked in and glanced lightly at the bowl in Ji Ningsheng's hand: "His fever hasn't subsided, and digesting too much protein will aggravate his fever. It's not suitable for him to eat isinglass now."

Ji Ning put down the bowl embarrassingly.

Ji Hanchuan's eyes were moist and red, and he looked at Gu Hengbei quietly.

Gu Hengbei's impetuous heart just settled down, and since that day, they haven't been able to say anything to each other.

But every time Gu Hengbei came to visit Ji Hanchuan, he would always look at him so quietly, his flat lake-like eyes were full of tenderness and tolerance.

It was the same pair of eyes that let Gu Hengbei know that neither the events in "Pansi Cave" nor Ji Ningsheng's intentional or unintentional estrangement could change Ji Hanchuan.

Gu Hengbei naturally leaned over and touched Ji Hanchuan's forehead: "Have you taken your temperature?"

Ji Hanchuan nodded, rubbing his forehead against his palm.

Gu Hengbei's heart softened: "How much?"

"37°8."

Gu Hengbei frowned: "It's still burning..."

"It's okay..." Ji Hanchuan put his hand on the back of his hand, and said with a slight smile, "It's much better than before, there's nothing wrong with it, have you eaten yet?"

"I have already eaten."

Ji Hanchuan asked: "What did you eat?"

Gu Hengbei held Ji Hanchuan's hand backwards, just about to tell him what he ate, when there was a "squeak—" it turned out that Ji Ningsheng stood up, dragged the chair and made a sharp stabbing sound, he pulled his chair Pulled back a little, said politely: "Fourth Young Master, please sit down."

Gu Hengbei took a deep breath, this idiot did it again.

Every time Gu Hengbei got a little closer to Ji Hanchuan, Ji Ningsheng jumped out waving a big stick.

Why can't you play like this in the Grand Theater.

"Brother Ji..." Gu Hengbei turned around and said with a faint smile, "I've told you many times, you can just call me by my name, four young and four young, more births."

Ji Ningsheng smiled dryly: "There are always rules."

"According to the rules..." Gu Hengbei's smile remained unchanged, and his eyes were very warm and friendly, as if he and Ji Ningsheng had a particularly close relationship, "You are Han Chuan's real brother, that is, my brother. The younger brother is called "Four Young Masters".

Brother Ji, you haven't eaten yet, have you?Or if you go to eat, I will take care of you here. "

Ji Ningsheng didn't seem to understand Gu Hengbei's meaning at all: "I'm not hungry yet, I'll wait for Xiao Chuan to take the medicine and fall asleep before leaving."

The two of them had similar conversations a few days ago, it's fine if Ji Ningsheng refuses to leave Gu Hengbei, but Ji Hanchuan will be the one who will be in trouble when they confront each other.

But today Gu Hengbei refused to give in: "Hanchuan just finished eating for at least half an hour before he can take his medicine. During this time, you have finished eating, and I will stay here to take care of him."

Ji Ningsheng cleaned up the dishes on the table, his movements were as slow as a sloth: "How can I trouble you?"

"No trouble, it should be."

"With your status, how can you take care of others?"

"My identity is a trainee doctor."

"Where can I let you do this, it's not suitable..."

Gu Hengbei stopped laughing, he put one hand into his trouser pocket, his waist stood up straight, and the ten centimeter height difference made him feel oppressive in front of Ji Ningsheng.

Gu Hengbei word by word, slowly and clearly: "I have something to tell Han Chuan, brother Ji, can you avoid it for a while."

It looked like a question, but the ending sound was depressed. Gu Hengbei's patience had reached its limit.

Ji Ningsheng lowered his head, still looking timid, but his feet seemed to be wedged into nails, and he was determined not to move.

There was a strange and indescribable atmosphere in the air.

The "Vodimo" who controls his younger brother into an idiot and the possessive "wife control" confront each other in their minds, and they fight for [-] rounds.

Ji Ningsheng looked soft and weak like a little white lotus, but under Gu Hengbei's razor-sharp eyes, he didn't back down at all.

Gu Hengbei almost couldn't help but blurt out, isn't it just your fucking shit?I don't have the leisure to gossip with your brother!

Seeing that the gunpowder was about to explode, Ji Hanchuan said softly, "Brother, go eat."

The two heads twisted together, looking at Ji Hanchuan.

The corner of Gu Hengbei's mouth curled up in a triumphant arc.

Ji Ningsheng bit his lips tightly, his eyes resisted, and he was a little sad.

Ji Hanchuan still said, "I also have something to say to Gu Hengbei."

Gu Hengbei folded his arms and raised his chin. He was obviously a promising young man with a long body like a jade and a handsome man, but his whole body was filled with a childish sense of accomplishment and vanity after a primary school student wins a toy. All the aggrieved and bored are swept away, super cool.

He looked at Ji Ningsheng indifferently, and really wanted to say "You lost, hum".

Ji Ningsheng was extremely sad, and left without turning his head.

As soon as Ji Ningsheng's figure disappeared, Gu Hengbei sat by Ji Hanchuan's bed. He raised his hand and clasped the back of Ji Hanchuan's neck, touching his forehead.

Such an intimate distance seems to have been a long time ago. Each other's eyelashes can touch each other in a blink of an eyelash, and even their breaths are intertwined.

Gu Hengbei's eyes were sour, and his heart was filled with grievances that he had never felt before. He said in a hoarse voice, "I thought you would choose your brother."

Ji Hanchuan's eyes were deeply tired, his lips were dry and pale, and under his sickly appearance, only the indulgence in his eyes remained the same as before.

"My brother... he is a little afraid of you..." Ji Hanchuan was very puzzled, "Why is he so afraid of you?"

Of course Gu Hengbei knew about the Central Plains Society, and Ji Ningsheng's taboo towards him not only came from his own relationship with Gu Jinnan, but Ji Ningsheng had obviously guessed the true relationship between Gu Hengbei and Ji Hanchuan.

But Gu Hengbei will definitely not tell Ji Hanchuan about these things.

"Who knows..." Gu Hengbei said nonchalantly, "Your brother is probably a top-notch younger brother, so he can't see me being nice to you."

"No, my brother actually rarely interferes with my affairs..." Ji Hanchuan frowned slightly, "He doesn't know you yet, so don't argue with him, wait for me..."

He stepped back suddenly, distanced himself from Gu Hengbei, and coughed lightly with the back of his hand against his lips.

"What's wrong?" Gu Hengbei immediately became nervous, "Why are you coughing?"

Fever is most afraid of causing a cough. Gu Hengbei patted Ji Hanchuan's back lightly, and poured him a glass of water when he relieved a bit. Ji Hanchuan stopped coughing slowly, and an abnormal redness appeared on his pale face.

Gu Hengbei sat back to Ji Hanchuan's bedside, hugged him from behind, pressed his lips against his hot cheek: "Is it better?"

Ji Hanchuan nodded and turned his face slightly.

Gu Hengbei held Ji Hanchuan's hand, and seeing many tiny pinholes densely distributed on the blue veins on the back of his hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it distressedly.

Ji Hanchuan's face was hot, but his hands were cold.

"It's not a solution for you to burn like this..." Gu Hengbei said warmly, "I'll ask Dr. Lu to order you and then do a blood test to rule out all the problems that can be ruled out. Stop the antibiotics that can be stopped first. Let's focus on physical cooling. Also, don't drink the tonic soup your brother stewed for you for now."

Gu Hengbei originally wanted to complain about Ji Ningsheng's ignorance, but he held back. He is not the kind of lotus bitch like Ji Ningsheng who chews his tongue behind his back.

Ji Hanchuan still nodded obediently.

"You said just now that you have something to tell me..." Gu Hengbei leaned against Ji Hanchuan's face again, and chuckled, "What do you want to say."

Ji Hanchuan swallowed his dry throat: "It's not you who said it, tell me if you have something to say."

"I miss you." Gu Hengbei said bluntly.

The corners of Ji Hanchuan's eyes curled up, and a faint stream of light flooded his face: "Don't we see each other every day?"

"Can that be the same?" Gu Hengbei complained, "I can't hug you, kiss you, or even say a word of affection to you. Your brother guards you like a door god, and won't let me be alone with you. You won't even be allowed to feed you medicine... I've endured it for a week."

Ji Hanchuan's smile deepened: "Then why don't you continue to endure it?"

"I can't help it anymore..." Gu Hengbei tightened his arms and hugged Ji Hanchuan even tighter, and gently rubbed his lips against his face, "If you had chosen him and not me just now, I would have been here with you." Do you believe in a fight with him?"

Ji Hanchuan closed his eyes, took a deep breath, his blue lips trembled slightly: "Xin..."

"Then if I fight with your brother, who will you help?"

Ji Hanchuan was a little out of sorts with him: "My brother can't beat you."

"Then you are going to help your brother?"

"I'll take you away."

Gu Hengbei laughed out loud: "You have passed the test."

"Miss me?" Gu Hengbei asked softly, rubbing along Ji Hanchuan's bones.

In just a few days, Ji Hanchuan's figure has lost a lot of weight. Obviously, I have raised him tall and strong before.

The calf shrank, inch by inch, with a bony skeleton.

Gu Hengbei was very distressed, but even more impatient. He was eager to prove something and kissed Ji Hanchuan's neck from behind.

He asked hurriedly, "Do you miss me? Will you listen to your brother and never talk to me again..."

If Ji Hanchuan was facing Gu Hengbei at this moment, Gu Hengbei would find that Ji Hanchuan's face was paler than the light, his pupils were dilated in circles, the veins on his forehead were bursting out, and his lips were parted, as if taking off his clothes. Fish out of water generally struggle to breathe.

However, Gu Hengbei was also immersed in his own grievances and longing. He kept kissing Ji Hanchuan's ears, neck, and side face. He thought that Ji Hanchuan's trembling at the moment was all due to the provocation of lust. He was conceited and domineering. Said: "I don't care what your brother says, in short, you are already my person, if you don't nod at the beginning, it's fine.

As long as I don't let go, no one wants you to leave me, even if you want to!You are not even allowed to have the slightest thought of... Chuan'er..."

Gu Hengbei pulled Ji Hanchuan's face, wanting to kiss his lips, but Ji Hanchuan's trembling pupils finally froze, he pushed Gu Hengbei away suddenly, and rushed to the bathroom.

Gu Hengbei was stunned for a moment, then hurriedly chased after him.

"Clatter——" The faucet was wide open, washing the pool full of filth.

Ji Hanchuan poured out the food he just ate, lying on the sink, throwing up and down, his shoulders trembling like convulsions.

"Hanchuan..." Gu Hengbei stretched out his hand to pat Ji Hanchuan, only to touch his back, and Ji Hanchuan swung it away forcefully!

"You... don't touch me..." The words were as soft as raving, they were picked out from the deepest part of the throat, hoarse and vague, but Gu Hengbei could hear them clearly.

For a moment, Gu Hengbei's mind was completely frozen, and his brain was as white as lightning.

Then, those details that he ignored in the past emerged bit by bit, and the biting coolness climbed up from the soles of the feet.

Gu Hengbei raised his steps stiffly and wanted to leave the bathroom, but Ji Hanchuan suddenly grabbed his wrist.

Ji Hanchuan's hands were wet with sweat, and his knuckles would rattle from violent tremors. He held it so hard, as if he knew what Gu Hengbei was thinking. He retched and said in a hoarse voice: "Yes...no rise……"

"I'm not...not..."

"No..." Gu Hengbei turned around to catch him, patted Ji Hanchuan's back, "You're not sorry, it's okay, it's okay."

"Don't go..."

"I do not go."

Gu Hengbei took water for Ji Hanchuan to rinse his mouth, and then helped him onto the hospital bed. During this process, Ji Hanchuan kept holding Gu Hengbei's hand, his bloodshot eyes stuck to him.

"Don't be afraid, I won't go."

Gu Hengbei patted Ji Hanchuan's heart, softly coaxing him to sleep.

A ray of white light flashed outside the window, Gu Hengbei looked out along the light, the raindrops were crackling on the window, his vision was full of white misty water vapor, rushing into Gu Hengbei's eyes like a rising tide, he was suddenly startled, The torrential rain in the weather forecast arrived as expected.

"Gu, according to your description, your boyfriend should be suffering from a traumatic sexual disorder...

He hadn't been violated, but his brain had established strong conditioned reflexes associating sexual activity with negative feelings such as nausea, disgust, and pain, as long as sexual activity was involved.

Even the slightest hint of sex can cause physical responses of fear and disgust. "

On the computer screen, a middle-aged man with blond hair and blue eyes sat there and narrated. He is Klose, Zhong Ran's mentor in Country A, an internationally renowned psychologist.

Klose said: "This is a kind of PTSD, and judging from his excessive autonomic nervous system reaction, it is still the more serious one..."

Gu Hengbei interjected softly: "He wasn't born gay, he was originally... Still getting used to it."

Klose is a psychologist, and Gu Hengbei told him the details of his relationship with Ji Hanchuan without hesitation.

Ji Hanchuan does not reject him, and even often takes the initiative to get close to him, but Ji Hanchuan seldom has any physical impulse.

For a young man in his prime of life, it was very abnormal. Ji Hanchuan was in good health, so it was a purely physical obstacle.

It's okay when hugging and kissing, but as long as Ji Hanchuan accidentally touches a certain feature of Gu Hengbei, his whole body will shrivel like being poured over by a basin of ice water.

Gu Hengbei has discovered this a long time ago, but he himself is a medical student, so he understands these things better and is more tolerant than ordinary people. Some men can easily ejaculate towards the same sex even if they are not gay. It is pure animal nature Benzene energy.

Ji Hanchuan is very special, he is a real treasure who keeps his heart and mind.

Ji Hanchuan is still young, and they still have a long time together, Gu Hengbei doesn't go to pick up the seedlings to encourage them, he even enjoys this kind of sprouting innocent love.

If it wasn't for Thorin's sideways intervention, sooner or later they would be able to reach a natural step.

Klose's eyes were clear: "So the sexual obstacle he is facing now will be more serious than ordinary people. My suggestion is not to let him use drugs for the time being, and it is best to receive professional psychological treatment... I would venture to ask, he loves You?"

Gu Hengbei was stopped by the question.

The word "love" is also very strange to him.

Even though he liked Ji Hanchuan so much, he never thought about the word "love".

For him, single-minded liking is the most passionate emotion he can give. Love is more like the patent of an old couple.

It sounds a little weird.

Gu Hengbei asked in confusion: "Is there any difference between liking and love?"

Klose smiled slightly: "The most significant difference is that you can like many people and many things at the same time.

But you will only love one person deeply, and you can give up everything you like for the person you love. "

Damn, Gu Hengbei's first feeling was that this is really a terrible feeling.

But when he thought about it again, he suddenly felt that his scalp was exploding.

After the "Pansi Cave" incident, Gu Hengbei never saw Suo Lin again. Even though Suo Lin went on a hunger strike in the hospital to the death, even if all the Fa Xiao came forward to make peace in turn, he could not forgive Suo Lin. Forest.

He can give up everything for Ji Hanchuan without hesitation.

So he loves Ji Hanchuan?

So Ji Hanchuan, does he love me?

Gu Hengbei was immediately discouraged, he couldn't even talk about sex with me.

However, Gu Hengbei changed his mind, and thought again, he even gave up his normal sexual orientation for me, so it can't be said that he doesn't love him, right?

Gu Hengbei asked Klose: "What about love, so what if you don't love?"

"If he loves you, he will actively seek treatment. Only with his cooperation can we get twice the result with half the effort. You also know that desensitization is a faster and more effective way. You can guide him step by step until he can accept you physiologically. .”

Desensitization, Gu Hengbei sighed sadly and artificially.

It's not that I don't want to be a man, it's God's will to ride a horse now.