leak

The time in the third year of senior high school is very tight but passes very slowly. During the mock exams, the cheering class meetings, and the self-study questions day after day, everyone is holding back their energy and living like a year. boil.

Not only did a new round of countdown to the college entrance examination start downstairs, but there was also a sign on the side of the podium with a countdown to the college entrance examination.

Almost all the holidays are cancelled, the winter break is only 10 days off and back to school, it seems that everything is making way for the college entrance examination, and everything is ranked after the college entrance examination.

When I was in the first and second grades of high school, I still felt a little embarrassed when I thought of "graduation". When I really faced the single-plank bridge of the college entrance examination, I only occasionally felt reluctant to part with it. More often, I felt that the word "graduation" was a relief from the burden.

In the words of Lao Zhou, Han Chuang studied hard for more than ten years, and the title of the gold list is now.After traveling for so long, the end is just around the corner, so I have to grit my teeth and rush forward.

He Zhao travels back and forth between school and home every day, and Yi Shi is busy with the application and exams for independent enrollment in colleges, and successfully got recommended by T University.

After the [-]-day swearing-in meeting, Yi Shi no longer needed to go to school, and He Zhao also applied not to go to evening self-study, and Teacher Yi Shi would tutor him full-time every night.

Lin Peiling changed ways to make nutritious meals for him and Zhang Jiangyang every day. Grandma brought soup and nutritious food every day or two. He Zhao was unwilling to become a big fat man and forced Yi Shi to eat with him.

The old lady Zhang went back to the country, and it was logical that He Zhao should move back to the sixth floor, but no one mentioned it.

He Zhao didn't want to move back, but Lin Peiling really didn't mention it, and he felt vaguely uncomfortable.

After dinner in the evening, Zhang Peng went out to the store. Zhang Beier fell asleep in the evening and still hasn't woken up. Zhang Jiangyang didn't know whether to play games or study in the room.

He Zhao tentatively opened his mouth: "Mom, when will Mrs. Zhang come back?"

Lin Peiling was staring at the TV, when she heard this, she turned to look at him, seeming a little hesitant: "Did you quarrel with Xiao Yi?"

"No." He Zhao said.

After being silent for a while, Lin Peiling suddenly said softly: "Mom doesn't know how to speak out about some things, and doesn't know whether she should say it or not. Maybe she should wait until after the college entrance examination. But baby, mom is afraid that if she doesn't express her opinion now, it will make you uncomfortable. "

I didn't know what she was going to say, but He Zhao stopped breathing as if he had a premonition. Lin Peiling saw his reaction, and her eyes turned a little red: "Mom knows that you and Xiao Yi are not just good friends."

He Zhao conceived many plans for a showdown with Lin Peiling while trying not to irritate her, but none of them had a complete idea.He always felt that there was still a lot of time, and he could take it slowly, but he never thought that Lin Peiling would tell him that she knew it before that.

He was a little dazed and speechless.

Lin Peiling has already continued to speak naturally: "I have been hesitating whether I should wait for you to think it over and take the initiative to talk to me, and then we can talk about this topic. But I am very entangled. I read online that some children will I feel that I am not normal, I doubt myself, I am afraid, I dare not tell others, I torture myself repeatedly, it is so pitiful. Mom is worried that if I don’t take the initiative to tell you, you have never dared to tell my mother. Baby, I don’t care about others How to say how to think, I just want you to be happy and you are happy."

As Lin Peiling spoke, her eyes became redder, with tears in her eyes, but it was not sad and angry, but distressed.

She said, "I've checked and it's normal, but it's going to be harder. I can't stand the thought of you being sad about it, baby, don't ever feel sorry for anyone, don't have any Psychological burden. Mom can't do anything for you, and can't change other people's minds, but mom will always love you and support you forever."

Lin Peiling was blank about this aspect. She was a little surprised at first, but she checked some information and read some other people's statements and stories. Not very good statements, not very good stories, the surprise was quickly replaced by heartache .How could she bear such a precious son for him to walk such a difficult road?How could you bear to make him feel uncomfortable?She can't change others, but at least she can do her best to agree and support him.

She thought of her parents. They always supported her unconditionally. Because of her poor health, they had almost no demands on her and only hoped that she would live well.She had never regretted giving birth to He Zhao or Zhang Bei'er. The only guilt she felt was making her parents and the people around her feel frightened.

She has always been frightening since she was born. Just being alive has exhausted everyone's efforts, her efforts, the efforts of her parents, and the efforts of the doctors.She has been able to live until now, all relying on others. She is always cautious, afraid of disappointing their expectations, habitually trying to please others, afraid of disappointing others.It's all thanks to the grace of others that she can live until now. She worked hard to be a well-behaved daughter, a virtuous wife, an obedient daughter-in-law, and a qualified mother as if she were repaying her.

She tried her best, although not necessarily satisfactory.

Until one day, her very young son asked her naively and seriously: "Mom, do you want to divorce Dad?"

She was a little surprised: "Do you want Mom and Dad to divorce?"

He Zhao looked at her seriously: "Mom, it's not whether I want to, but you. I think they treat you badly, what do you think?"

Her son is healthy, lively and a little mischievous, very smart and lovable. Everyone says that children are the continuation of their parents' lives. She is very pleased that her son has what she lacks.

Her son asked her again: "Mom, are you happy?"

Every question he asks is "you" as the main subject, do you want to, what do you think, are you happy?

There was still confusion and ignorance in his words, as if he didn't quite understand it.

She thought in a daze that in his eyes, she was not doing well, not having a happy life.

Life is too small, and she knows it better than anyone.

She watched her parents run away her whole childhood because of her illness, and watched her healthy and lively younger sister rush out of her quiet and quiet teenage years. She has met many people like her, and she watched the lovely child thrive like a young sapling.

is she happy

Of course she has her moments.

But has she ever been happy for herself?

There should be none.

At that moment, she was at a loss for several seconds, she couldn't think of anything to be happy about in her life.She couldn't bear to see her parents cry, and didn't want to disappoint those who cared about her. After having a child, it seemed that she should be more positive, so she always pretended to love life and wanted to live.For a long time, she thought that she was really such a person.

Inexplicably, she remembered that many years ago, she sat on the bench in the hospital and drew, waiting with her father for a doctor who was said to be very powerful.The doctor was already very old, with gray temples, and the first thing he said to her was: "You painted this? It's so beautiful. You must be a great painter when you grow up."

She was a little embarrassed at the time, but she was happy in her heart.

The doctor asked again: "Do you want to be a painter when you grow up?"

Never being asked what she wants to be when she grows up, she takes one look at her dad.

The doctor said: "See what your father is doing, I'll ask you."

She shook her head and whispered, "I don't want to be a painter, I want to open a dessert shop."

The doctor smiled: "You have your own ideas, why do you want to open a dessert shop?"

She said: "Because eating dessert, people will be very happy."

"People who make desserts are happy, and people who eat desserts will be happy." The doctor said, "You are too thin, you need to eat more to grow up."

"But," she asked, "can I grow up?"

As soon as she said it, she knew she had said the wrong thing, because Dad's tears flowed down directly.

At that time, the medical level was not as fast as it is now, and the transportation was not as convenient as it is now. Sometimes her father took her, and sometimes her mother took her, and she traveled long distances to many hospitals.She knew that her disease was very troublesome, and she also knew that some children with the same disease as her would not live to grow up.

But the doctor touched her head and still smiled: "It's my job to make you grow up like other children, and your job is to make happy desserts for everyone when you grow up."

After surgery and another surgery, she grew up smoothly, but she didn't become a painter, nor opened a dessert shop.

She was already in her 30s when she got divorced, and it took her more than [-] years to realize that life is first of all about her own feelings, and then what others see.

What could be more important than being happy?

What could be more important than her son being happy?

He Zhao's nose was a little sore, and he said in a low voice, "Mom, I'm fine, and Yi Shi is also fine."

"Mom knows that you are all very good children," Lin Peiling cried first, and then laughed at him, "Oh, you are so grown up, why do you still have red eyes?"

He Zhao took out a tissue to wipe her tears: "You are too sensational."

"How could I be sensational?" Lin Peiling said, "I just love my son."

"Don't feel bad, I don't feel bad. If you can understand me, I will be better." After a pause, He Zhao asked, "When did you know?"

"I didn't know it all at once," Lin Peiling said. "Last Christmas, you didn't see me, but I saw you and Xiaoyi long ago, and I saw you holding hands. It was a little strange at the time, and then slowly That's it, especially when you find out that you have never slept in your own room."

Every once in a while Lin Peiling would go to help He Zhao change the sheets and quilt covers, and clean the room. He Zhao deliberately created traces that he had lived and slept there, but he did not expect to escape Lin Peiling's eyes.

"I still slept." He Zhao felt a little embarrassed.

Even though it was just the night I moved in.

Zhang Jiangyang came out of the room to drink water, and saw that both mother and son had red eyes, and was stunned: "What's the matter? Are you talking about crying?"

"I didn't cry, who cried?" He Zhao refused to admit it.

"It's fine if you don't cry." Zhang Jiangyang didn't know whether he should take care of it, and walked slowly while holding a glass of water.

"You young people... Hey, I have grown up too. I also checked the information about your situation. Don't act recklessly just because everyone is a boy and can't get pregnant. You have to take precautions..."

Before Lin Peiling finished speaking, Zhang Jiangyang spit out a mouthful of water, his whole face flushed with choking: "Cough cough cough cough cough..."

"Xiaoyang, you are the same. You brothers have grown up and are 18 years old. You don't usually have the opportunity to talk about this topic. You must be responsible to yourself and others. If you reach that point..."

"Ouch, Mom! I know, I know, don't say it!" Zhang Jiangyang hurriedly begged for mercy. He really regretted coming out to drink this water, let alone eavesdropping on this conversation.

"Okay, okay, let's not talk about it, anyway, you all know what's in your mind, I'm not a pedantic person, if you encounter something that you can't solve by yourself..."

"Mom, I'm pedantic and old-fashioned, don't talk about it." Zhang Jiangyang never expected to discuss this topic with Lin Peiling, but felt so embarrassed that he wanted to dig out a hole to hide in.

When Zhang Jiangyang entered the room and closed the door, Lin Peiling was a little amused: "Xiaoyang is quite shy, he must have never had a girlfriend."

Zhang Jiangyang must have never had a girlfriend at first glance?

He Zhao originally admired Lin Peiling's investigative ability when he found out that he was secretly in love with Yi Shi, but now he changed his mind again.

"Mom, you are really good." He Zhao said.

He Zhao's cell phone vibrated wildly in his pocket, he took it out and saw that it was all from Zhang Jiangyang.

Zhang Jiangyang: Did you have a showdown with our mother? ? !

Zhang Jiangyang: What's the situation?

Zhang Jiangyang: Why are you crying?

Zhang Jiangyang: What did Mom say?

Zhang Jiangyang: She accepted it so calmly?

Zhang Jiangyang: If he hadn’t accepted it, he wouldn’t have said what he just said

Zhang Jiangyang: Hey, I'm convinced, what are you talking about?

He Zhao: She discovered it by herself

Zhang Jiangyang: How did she find out?Hit what?

Zhang Jiangyang: Did you cuddle outside?

He Zhao: She found out that I haven't slept in my room

Zhang Jiangyang:? ? ? ?

Zhang Jiangyang: Then where did you sleep?

Zhang Jiangyang: Damn it!you!

Zhang Jiangyang: It’s really possible

Zhang Jiangyang: This is a good student in AB class

After uncovering this layer of film, there seems to be no change, but Lin Peiling became more and more unabashedly close to Yi Shi, almost treating him as another son of her own, and even asked him to help in the store and intimately ordered him to work .

He Zhao went to eat in the store during lunch break, and heard the auntie, a regular customer who came to buy bread in the store, ask Lin Peiling, "Who is this young man?"

Lin Peiling smiled: "I'm a son."

Yi Shi paused for a moment, but didn't say anything.

He Zhao hooked his fingers at him, and when he came over, He Zhao whispered, "Then you won't be my godbrother?"

Yi Shi pushed his head indifferently.

He Zhao noticed that Zhang Peng was looking at them. Looking over, Zhang Peng smiled at him with some embarrassment, and looked away.

He Zhao thought that Lin Peiling could accept it, but Zhang Peng might not be able to accept it, but Zhang Peng saw everything in his eyes, didn't say anything, and remained the same as before.

He doesn't need to make a statement, that's enough.

One month before the college entrance examination, the campus cultural festival ended, and He Zhao went to see the party of the juniors and sisters.Not long after, Liu Xiaoyun sent him a link to the post bar, and someone on the post bar posted a video of Class 3 singing that song last year.He Zhao looked at it for a while, disliked the lack of clarity, and looked at the video Zhang Jiangyang made last year.

Five days before the college entrance examination, Lao Zhou gave an excited speech at the class meeting. The last sentence "Come on for the college entrance examination" seemed to accidentally leak a little crying, and the class without a teacher exploded.

There are still three days before the college entrance examination, and I don’t know who will start first. A large number of torn papers are scattered from the teaching building, like a heavy snowfall, covering a thick layer.

There are still zero days before the college entrance examination, and the whole city and even the whole country are paying attention to the college entrance examination. When He Zhao walked into the school gate, he saw Lao Zhou and the teacher in charge, and they all put on bright red clothes.

After finishing the last exam, He Zhao was neither excited nor sad, nor even relieved.

It's like participating in a long-span fireworks display. Everyone has been brewing for a long time and looking forward to it for a long time. One after another, fireworks exploded in the air, and the crowd gathered to cheer.When the fireworks show was finally over and the crowd dispersed, they suddenly felt that it was nothing more than that.

So this is the end of this chapter.

He Zhao was walking on the school road, and the trees on both sides were like a torrent, guiding him to extend outside the school.

Walking out of the school gate, the sunset after school is still very warm and brilliant.Yi Shi was standing under the tree waiting for him, the sunlight was thick, and the light was projected on the top of his head without twists and turns, and the scales danced on his face, bright and dazzling.

There were a lot of people waiting outside the school, so he stood quietly aside, everything around him seemed to have nothing to do with him, but He Zhao saw him at a glance, and he knew that Yi Shi saw him too.

He Zhao finally smiled and ran towards him, the hem of his school uniform bulging slightly in the wind.

Behind him is the flow of people wearing school uniforms, which is the most extravagant period of his youth, and it will never come again.

But his teenager will be waiting for him to accompany him, walking side by side into the unknown future.

The author has something to say: High school is over, happy New Year's Eve.