On the dialectic that death does not necessarily mean death

"It's really you... It's really you... You're finally willing to come to see me..." Finally, the long kiss ended, Chu Xiao grabbed Chu Ting's collar and spoke in a very angry manner, but was very fragile if.

Chu Ting held Chu Xiao's hand holding his collar, and lightly pressed his forehead against Chu Xiao's, and said, "I've always wanted to see you, I was wrong, I shouldn't make you so sad..."

"You also have reasons to hate me...I...almost got engaged to Lan Yiyao..." Chu Xiao didn't dare to speak loudly, for fear that if the volume was louder, everything in front of him would be disturbed.

"That bitch has already quit, she is not good enough for you, you are mine, I will never give you up to her!" Chu Ting stretched out his hand and hugged Chu Xiao in his arms.

"I just... kissed Yun Tang as you..." Chu Xiao said weakly.

"@#￥&~&%..." Chu Ting felt a bit bitter in his mouth, and his expression was very strange: "That kid is cheap!"

Chu Xiao said embarrassingly: "Actually... I think he has suffered a lot... I vomited so much... There is a taste in my mouth... Yun Tang didn't...dislike..."

"I don't dislike it either! I don't dislike it either if you spit it out of my mouth!" Chu Ting shouted.

"..." Chu Xiao didn't know what to say, to express that he was very happy?He doesn't have the IQ to be sure.Now he can be sure that although Chu Ting has studied abroad for the past two years and his management skills have become much stronger, he is still the same idiot in essence.

"What's wrong? Are you unhappy?" Chu Ting continued to ask.

"Well... I decided to quit drinking," Chu Xiao said.

"Don't you want to spit it out of my mouth?! I still want that Ni Yun..." Chu Ting suddenly lost his mind.

"It's not good to spit anywhere! Can we change the subject?" This is really disgusting (the author, you are in pain when you are idle! You are looking for love from such a disgusting angle).

"Ah, okay... what topic?" Chu Ting asked obediently. Was Chu Xiao angry just now?That's a sign of anger, right?He was crying like that just now, but he recovered again. Is he too weak?He always thought he was strong.

Chu Xiao sighed, "Wait...go home? Chu Yuan has been very worried about us..."

"Never mind him! I only want you! You can only have me! He's a fart!" Chu Ting gave Chu Xiao another tight bear hug.

"You...you really won't ignore me again..." Chu Xiao was still in a daze.

"Why did you come back to this topic again? Didn't I say it? I'm Chu Ting, I've come to see you, I forgive you, I'm sorry for you, I will never treat you like that again, you can only be me Yes, I am all yours too! We will never separate again! No one who objects will separate!" Chu Ting grabbed Chu Xiao's shoulders, looked at him seriously and said, "I will never hurt you again! Absolutely!"

Chu Xiao smiled.

"Ok!"

As soon as Liang Ti returned to the hotel, he ran into Ming Tingxi who was running out quickly while answering the phone, and said to the other end of the phone: "Didn't I say I won't go back, so I can delay it a little..." Seeing Liang Ti come back , eyes widened in a daze, "You, you're back..."

Liang Ti nodded, trying to leave Ming Tingxi to go back to the room, but heard Ming Tingxi shouting on the phone, "What's the delay! Something happened to your father and you still chased that kid! Nobody remembers you anymore!" You are still hanging around on others! Your father really raised you for nothing!"

Ming Tingxi hurriedly said to the phone "I'll call you later" and hung up, reaching out and grabbing Liang Ti's arm, "Yun Tang, yes, I'm sorry... I, I didn't mean it... Er... …was on purpose but I really didn’t expect to… scare you…”

Liang Ti knew what Ming Tingxi meant. When taking pictures, Ming Tingxi used his body to play ambiguously and made a fuss. He was scared on the spot so he left the scene and walked outside. That was really not a good memory, Liang Ti shook his head , "It's okay, you can do your work."

"Yuntang! Something happened to me, my dad, I will go home in a while, the competition... I can only quit, but I will not give up on you! Even, even if you don't remember me, then You can't choose that guy Ni Yunsheng either! That guy has really done too much to you! He is not worthy of your liking!" After Ming Tingxi finished speaking, he leaned over and kissed Liang Ti's lips quickly, and left the hotel.

When Liang Ti came to his senses, he only saw the afterimage of Ming Tingxi disappearing in the taxi door. Even though Liang Ti didn't agree to that kiss, he didn't hate it, but the words in Ming Tingxi's words came to his mind. Saying "that guy really did something very, very badly to you, he doesn't deserve your liking", what the hell is that?The uneasiness that had been ignored due to Chu Ting's high-profile appearance began to fluctuate again.

Suddenly it rained heavily outside the window, and the raindrops hit the window sill with a loud noise. Liang Ti fell asleep on the bed, but he didn't sleep well, his brows were tightly wrinkled, his chest heaved too violently, and he was dripping with cold sweat.

Ni Yunsheng was drenched by the sudden heavy rain, and he was already drowned when he ran back to the hotel, but he didn't go back to the room, and went straight to the front desk, "Excuse me, is the little boy who was with us back?"

The lady at the front desk was taken aback, "I... I'm back... But the tallest boy left this afternoon... You, are you alright?"

"I'm back! Great, thank you!" After finishing speaking, he left the front desk and went back to the room.

The lady at the front desk stared blankly at the door. It was already dark. If she remembered correctly, she was on the night shift. It should be past 1:[-] in the morning, right?Hearing what the guest asked, he probably went outside to find that little boy and found him now!God!

Yun Sheng went back to his room and immediately took a shower. After getting dressed, he came out and wiped his hair with a towel, while subconsciously walking to the small balcony next to the floor-to-ceiling windows to take a look.He had confirmed it a long time ago. Although Ming Tingxi booked this room for Liang Ti, and he should have lived in the room Liang Ti lived in, he could still see the small space of Liang Ti's room from this balcony. The balcony, but Liang Ti hasn't been out of the balcony in the past few days. From Yunsheng's point of view, we can only confirm whether the lights in Liang Ti's room have been turned off.

"!" The lights turned on!Even the balcony door is open!Liang Ti is back as expected!Yun Sheng was overjoyed, took a chair from the room and leaned against the door, sat on it and secretly observed the situation in the room.

He could only see the end of the bed a little far from the balcony and Liang Ti's feet protruding from it. Liang Ti's feet were very white and skinny, almost integrated with the sheets and quilt.Yunsheng was fascinated by watching it, and was thinking about how it would feel when he touched it, but Liang Ti's feet shrank suddenly, Yunsheng was startled, and quickly turned sideways to hide behind the chair.

Their rooms were a little far away, and Yun Sheng listened carefully, but the sound of rain was still in his ears.Yun Sheng waited for a long time, couldn't bear it anymore, and then cautiously climbed on the back of the chair to poke out his eyes.

Liang Ti has already got up, with his arms resting on the balcony railing, a cigarette still held between the index and middle fingers of his right hand, and he looks at the wall in front of him expressionlessly. There is nothing else but a gray low wall.

Yun Sheng's heart suddenly lifted, he had seen Liang Ti's action before.

At that time, he and Liang Ti were still brothers, and he liked to torture Liang Ti mentally, but not so much that their relationship broke down. At that time, the family was facing various troubles, such as mortgage, moving, school work, The matter of the parents... After all, it is all related to money. Their parents did not leave enough money for them to continue to live. Instead, because his parents were the perpetrators of the car accident, they even paid the other party a large sum of money.

At that time, Liang Ti, as the chief culprit in his eyes who killed his parents, took the initiative to shoulder the burden of making money. He dropped out of school when he was just in the first grade of junior high school, went around to earn money, and learned to smoke because of too much pressure.Yunsheng disliked the smell of cigarettes on Liang Ti's body, so Liang Ti quit suddenly.

Sometimes Yunsheng could still smell a very faint smell of cigarettes from Liang Ti. He followed Liang Ti, trying to catch Liang Ti smoking, but he didn't expect to find that Liang Ti could only light a cigarette but couldn't smoke. Watching the smoke burn out even if you have smoked it.

Later, Yunsheng discovered that this act of seeing the cigarette go out gradually became like a ritual. As long as Liang Ti lights a cigarette, it must be that Liang Ti has encountered a problem that is difficult to solve and wants to escape. Even if you don't come up with a solution, you will definitely act, even if the direction of action is opposite.

Liang Ti has something on his mind!

Even though Yunsheng didn't see Liang Ti lighting a cigarette, he knew that Liang Ti had something on his mind, but the facts proved that there was indeed, and Yun Sheng only felt more panicked.

He had a fever that day, Liang Ti asked him if he had treated him badly, he admitted, and they reconciled.But does Liang Ti's question include the worst thing he did?If the connotation and extension of his admission include and really include Liang Ti's question, then will Liang Ti deny their reconciliation and deny him the qualification to love him? !

The more Yun Sheng thought about it, the more uneasy he became. When he realized it, he was already knocking on Liang Ti's room door. He was also taken aback. He was about to go back and pretend he hadn't been there, but Liang Ti's door had already been opened.

"Yunsheng? Why are you... just right, I have something to ask you too." Liang Ti stretched out his hand and pulled Yunsheng in. Yunsheng wanted to refuse, but his body refused to obey the order and walked in obediently.

"Looking for me...what's the matter?" Yun Sheng said anxiously.

Liang Ti moved the corner of his mouth, "Sit down first, I'll take a shower, I'll talk about it later."

Yunsheng watched helplessly as Liang Ti walked into the bathroom and closed the door.After a while, there was a sound of water coming from the bathroom. The sound of rain outside the window and the sound of water in the bathroom mixed together, making Yunsheng feel restless for no reason.The sound of the water in the bathroom stopped for a while, and then it started again. Yunsheng could imagine that it was Liang Ti applying body wash. As soon as the thought of "I really want to touch..." popped up, Yunsheng immediately jumped up. When he got up, he stretched out his hand and slapped himself, how could he be so dirty!

Thinking about it this way, I felt that I couldn't stay any longer, and walked slowly to the door, the doorknob was within reach, but Yunsheng's hand was trembling, but he didn't dare to grab it, as if the doorknob was within reach. It looks like it has electricity.

"Why did you leave? Didn't you tell me to wait for me to come out?" Liang Ti's voice suddenly came from behind.

Yun Sheng could only sit back on the bed obediently, so embarrassed that he didn't dare to look up at Liang Ti: "No, I don't know if you are looking for me... why, what are you doing?"

"Am I that scary? Why don't you even dare to look at me?" Liang Ti said standing in front of Yun Sheng in a snow-white bathrobe.

Yun Sheng looked at Liang Ti's bare feet stepping on the beige carpet with white glistening feet, his forehead was covered with sweat, and he took a deep breath with all his strength before he dared to raise his head slowly.But the head was still fully raised, but his eyes suddenly blurred, his lips warmed up, and something soft slipped into his mouth before he could close it—Liang Ti was actually kissing him!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Hearing Liang Ti's low "ah", all movements stopped suddenly.

What is he doing?What is he doing with Liang Ti? !

Standing up and looking at Liang Ti, seeing Liang Ti's fair face stained with an intoxicating blush, Yun Sheng quickly got up, turned his back to Liang Ti and muttered to himself: "How could I do this! That's Yun Tang! I How can you really do this!"

"Why did you stop?" Liang Ti was made weak by Yun Sheng, and Yun Sheng's sudden strike made him feel a little uncomfortable, so he sat up with his body propped up, and as soon as he stretched out his hand to touch Yun Sheng's shoulder, Yun Sheng was startled Had to jump up and move away from the bed.

"No! No! I can't! I can't treat you like that!" Yun Sheng said hurriedly.

Liang Ti's face turned cold quickly, "What do you mean? Judging by your reaction just now, it doesn't look like you can't, or you can't face me?"

"No, no, it's not... You, you may just be excited for a while... You will regret it afterwards..." Yun Sheng corrected.

"I don't regret it, let's continue." Liang Ti smiled.

"No! No! Yun, Yuntang, what, what's wrong with you today? Usually you don't, you're not like this! Why..." Yunsheng asked in confusion.

"Can't we do it well? Don't you want to? What's there to say no to?" Liang Ti's voice became cold again, with a hint of impatience.

"I think! I just think too much, so I don't understand me... I don't want to do this kind of thing when you will regret it!" Yunsheng shouted anxiously.

"I said I don't regret it, why don't you do it!" Liang Ti shouted suddenly, "I just want to do it with you...why don't you..." Liang Ti suddenly covered his face and cried in pain .

Yun Sheng was stunned, why did Liang Ti get so excited all of a sudden, why did he suddenly cry again? "It's not that I don't want to hug you... the only person I want to hug you the most and the only person I want to hug in this life is you, but, but you are like this suddenly, I'm afraid... I'm afraid you will suffer in the future..." Yun Sheng walked Beside Liang Ti, he gently hugged Liang Ti into his arms.

Liang Ti tightly grabbed Yunsheng's collar, "I, I asked you to do it because of the pain...I can't think of what to do if I don't do it! I really don't know what to do... "

"It's okay, no matter, no matter who you choose, I will, I will support your choice..." Yun Sheng gritted his teeth and said, he had already made the worst plan in his heart, if Liang Ti really refused because of what he had done to him He, even Liang Ti chose Ming Tingxi, if his love made Liang Ti so painful... Liang Ti's forehead pressed against his chest, and as Liang Ti sobbed, Yun Sheng felt his heart tremble.

But Liang Ti continued to cry, "My memory...so confused...so scary...why are you different from what I remember...why are you treating me so well now...but, in my memory, you treat me like that ...I can't at all unite you...with,with the you in my memory...I remember...remember that photo...you did that to me...I don't think he is Now you...I, I think I'm so dirty...I was done by that person...You, now you don't want me...Don't want to have sex with me...What should I do...What should I do... ..."

Yunsheng felt his hands trembling, he listened very carefully, he believed he understood Liang Ti's words, Liang Ti did not accept him in the past, but accepted him in the present.Because the presentation of memory is free from the linear relationship of cause and effect, although Liang Ti remembers him and the bad things he did in the past, he can't apply these to the present him, resulting in the bad people in the past and the good things in the present. born.

It's not that Liang Ti alone will have such a sense of split because of memory recovery, even Yunsheng himself will feel the same way - he doesn't know the perverted and distorted self in the past, although he understands him in the past, it's just as a Based on the conclusions he reached based on the background analysis at that time, the current him does not agree or even wants to admit that existence.However, he had to admit, otherwise Liang Ti would not be able to take this step, and would probably suffer forever because of it.

Yun Sheng closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting go of Liang Ti in his arms.Liang Ti subconsciously became nervous because he left Yun Sheng's embrace, and even reached out to grab the corner of Yun Sheng's clothes. Yun Sheng pressed Liang Ti's hand and looked at Liang Ti.Liang Ti stared at Yun Sheng with wide eyes, afraid that Yun Sheng would say something that he could not accept.

"Who says I don't want to, I do, Yun Tang, I want to do it with you, I want to be crazy, I will do it with you, Yun Tang," Yun Sheng smiled and kissed Liang Ti lightly, and then looked at Liang Ti seriously. Looking at Liang Ti, he said: "But you have to know that what you are doing now is the same person as the bad Yunsheng in your memory. We have the same feelings for you, but the way of love is different. You have to know, Ni Yunsheng loves you the most, and I only love you in this life, do you know that?"

Liang Ti stared blankly at Yun Sheng's eyes, and nodded his head.

"Even so, are you willing to be with Ni Yunsheng and let Ni Yunsheng hug you?" Yunsheng asked again.

Liang Ti blinked his eyes, nodded his head again, gave a soft "hmm", and immediately looked into Yun Sheng's eyes nervously.

"Then... Ni Yunsheng knows what to do."

Yun Sheng smiled and kissed Liang Ti's lips so tenderly that he couldn't be more gentle, and gently pressed Liang Ti back on the bed again.

The author has something to say: Can I say what I said here to the reviewing editor......

The description in this chapter is just to explain the core contradiction of Liang Ti's feelings for Yunsheng, and the ambiguous description does not take up too much space... The key is that ambiguity is not the point!The point is that Liang Ti's central knot in Yunsheng's confession has finally been solved... By the way, Jia Pingwa's "Abandoned City" is better than this, okay? It was not only published but also won an award. Let's relax our minds, take a longer view, and focus on the deeper meaning, shall we?