wrong each other

After so many years, I thought we could all live our own lives well.

He lived in that shining world with his shining halo, and I, I just hid in my darkness, sealed up all my shame, and assumed my due responsibilities and pains.

We are neither Xiong-Di nor friends anymore, even if we meet, we can still be good passers-by.

But, why, why is there such a beginning, if this beginning becomes the end, it would be great.

I really don't want to be picked up by anyone, and I don't want to be pampered by anyone.Because, you see, even I lost myself.

What Sui Qing said is right, for a person like me, it will never be possible to clean up or something. Even if he leaves, his body forgets, but he still remembers in his heart, remembers how he has gone through all these years.

On the day I came out of Depration, I looked at the bright and dazzling sunlight above my head, and I didn't feel that such a long-lost freedom and brightness was so precious and moving.Instead, it was full of fear and panic.

During those days in Depration, I was used to the darkness, to the filth and filth, only there could I hide my past and my uncleanness.

Every day, I want to come out and leave, but if I really come out, what good is it?My recent situation is no different. It is still the same as in Depration, selling myself and using the most accustomed way to get everything I want and not want.

When I first met Xu Xiangwei, the momentary uncertainty, distrust and contempt in his eyes really hurt me, but so what?I was originally!I did roll under many men, not to mention the outside, even the Depration, the toilet, the sofa in the private room, the rooms on the third to sixth floors, and even the corners in the big courtyard.

Too many places that I can't remember and can't remember clearly.

In those places, I blinded my heart, my eyes, and my teeth pierced my lips again and again, enduring countless insults and pains.

If it weren't for those sleeping pills, I don't know how many times I would have committed suicide.

I often have many, many dreams, but none of them can make me sweet.sweet?This vocabulary has not been used for a long time.

Xu Xiangwei's concern and love may be true, but I no longer have the strength to accept it.

I can't bear the consequences of shattering the beauty. In front of him, apart from feeling that I am inferior, I only have hatred for the Xu family.

What should I do with him like this?

When Jiujiu drove him out, I saw the helplessness in his eyes, and also saw his panic.I heard his talking to himself and his pain in the corridor.But I can't do anything, because I can't even cure myself, how can I cure him.Maybe letting go of each other and never starting is the best choice for me and him.

What happened six years ago has already led to our respective trajectories, going further and further apart.

Now we are just blurred shadows in each other's eyes. If we don't meet again, he may not even remember that a person like me has ever appeared.

It's just a phantom, a random gust of wind blows, and it disperses.

Why should I accept or change anything for that phantom.I'm doing fine now, just keep going.

Will not be loved by anyone, and will not love anyone.

Don't hurt anyone, don't hurt yourself.

When I came out of the shower, Jiujiu accidentally saw the wound on my body, she hugged my waist, her little head was pressed against my back, her fingers were intermittently scrubbing the incomplete smoke scars, whimpering cry.

This silly boy attributed all his faults to himself.

In fact, I'm really fine, I'm a man, a little hurt, what's the matter, not to mention... the pain has long since disappeared.Except for the occasional dream, I can't even remember when I was in bed with someone else.

After all, in those years of Depration, there were countless things worse than that.

: "Hey... silly girl, don't cry, your snot is all over my body."

: "Brother... don't move, let me... lean on for a while."

The little face wet with tears was a little cold, and it still made me feel a little uncomfortable when I stuck it to my back.

In the past, when Sui Qing was going to mend that tattoo for me, she would always wipe my whole body with cold alcohol.He will also use his cold lips to touch and kiss one by one.After that, there was a pain that went deep into the bone marrow, and it was exactly like this. Many times afterwards, no matter who touched my back, I couldn't help shaking.

Perhaps sensing my discomfort, Jiujiu turned her face away from my back and asked me in a muffled voice

: "Brother... still can't forget... will it hurt?"

:"have no idea"

He uttered three words in a low voice, then stopped making a sound, picked up the cigarette on one side of the cabinet, and lit it.

It was already dark, and the lights in the house were not turned on. A street lamp outside the window slanted into the house. I sat quietly on the carpet beside the bed, smoking quietly.

Jiujiu took the ashtray and placed it next to my right foot, put her head close to the bend of my bent leg, and lay down quietly. After a long time, I don't know if she closed her eyes, but I only heard she says

: "Brother...I will always be with you...forever."

: "If you want to get married, you have to have your own home and children. Brother...it's impossible. I hope you can get what I can't get."

My stupidity, no one can accompany anyone for a lifetime, when it's time to go, I still have to go, and when it's time to face, I can't escape.

This quiet and dark world does not belong to you, but to me.

Myself.

Chu Jiujiu didn't know when she fell asleep in the crook of Chu Ning's lap. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she saw Chu Ning's quiet profile hidden in the shadowy darkness. She looked a little bit emotional, but for some reason, it was just such a calm face, but it made people feel sore in the heart, with a little bit of suffocation.

Turning around while pretending to sleep, looking out of the window at the flickering neon lights that never went out even in the middle of the night, Chu Jiujiu's eyes also shone with tiny bits of light, as if she was crying.

This city is like this, it will not be darkened by anyone's sorrow, nor will it stop because of someone's disappearance.It always hides all the sorrows in those hypocritical and exaggerated scenes, and keeps moving forward vigorously.

With the ecstasy and pain of everyone, there was a deafening sound, recording all the ups and downs of the entire city...