Can't Save the World by Pretending to be Dead

Wenzhou ghost messengers and Japanese military officers were sent to the underworld, but they were not sent back.

The watchman's chubby face was full of wretched smiles, and he happily took the certificate of impermanence left by the Wenzhou ghost guard, and happily opened it: "As long as I have this thing, my colleague's strength will be reduced by at least [-]%. "As he said, he rolled his eyes, and said to Ji Chen and Lian Xi: "My lords, this is a magic weapon. With it, we will earn more quickly in the future."

Lian Xi glanced at him: "With it, will you be stronger?"

The watchman couldn't hide his joy: "That's natural. If the little one has it, he will be able to catch ghosts for the two adults better!"

Lian Xi noticed the watchman's little thoughts at a glance.To be honest, this black impermanence certificate is of no use to him and Jichen.From the very beginning, Jichen catches ghosts to improve his ranking in the leaderboard, and Mr. Xi will never allow anyone to overwhelm him; while Lian Xi became Bai Wuchang in order to gain Jinchen's favor and golden light.As for later...

100 million RMB per month, no one will be tempted to change it!

However, for ghost messengers like watchmen, a hundred taels of gold are all rubbish, and the soul-calling banners and Jiangnan Daohei impermanence certificates are the real treasures.

Su Cheng's black and white impermanence didn't mean to ask for the certificate of impermanence. The watchman carefully figured out the faces of the two of them. The black impermanence certificate was stuffed into his arms.

Hey, hey, hey...

A displeased snort sounded, the watchman trembled in fright, and hurriedly took out the black impermanence certificate from his arms, and almost took this thin impermanence certificate with both hands, held it high above his head, and returned it to the minister.But I heard Ji Chen look at his Su Cheng black impermanence certificate, and said: "He is not in Yangjian, he is no longer Wenzhou ghost messenger, he is still number one?"

The watchman was taken aback: "Huh?"

Lian Xi looked at the certificate of impermanence in Jichen's hand: "Because this month's performance ranking has already been determined?"

The two looked at the watchman together.

The watchman frantically put away the certificate of black impermanence, leaned over to read it for a while, and understood what the minister meant.It turned out that he was not asked to hand over the Black Impermanence Certificate!The watchman explained: "As your lord said, even though this little gentleman has used his power well and violated the law, he will definitely be judged by the judge himself after returning to the underworld, and there will be no good fruit to eat. But the performance list in November It's already been fixed, so..." He wondered: "So, the performance points of the young man last month did exceed ours, this is a fact."

Jichen: "That's the only way?"

The watchman racked his brains for a long time, and suddenly said: "That's not the case! The little one thought of a trick. The adults still remember that the little Wenzhou gentleman didn't think about making progress all day long. For decades, he didn't catch a few ghosts at all. Wenzhou The reason why he has been able to stay in the first place is because he has saved a lot of performance in my colleague's ghost certificate, and he can set aside some as much as he needs each time. But in fact, his real performance is very little."

The three of them discussed this matter just now, so they naturally remember it.

The watchman said again: "So, if we exclude the extra performance brought by the two 'Jiangnan Dao ghost certificates', our performance must surpass Wenzhou ghosts."

Lian Xi understood what the watchman meant: "You mean, there is a way to only count the real achievements of Wenzhou and Sioux City?"

The watchman chuckled: "My lord, I am a ghost in the Jiangnan Road, and I still have this authority. You only need to make a report, exclude the extra performance of the month, and calculate the real performance, and you can do this."

Lian Xi thought of another thing: "If we only count the real performance, have we surpassed the ghosts in Shanghai?"

Counting the performance attached to the Jiangnan Dao ghost certificate, Wenzhou and Sioux City are the top two, and the third is the Shanghai ghost.If this part of the extra performance is removed, will it be overtaken by the ghosts in Shanghai?

How can the watchman not consider such a trivial matter, he patted his chest and said: "That's natural. The past month, I have been a cow and a horse, so busy that I don't even touch the ground. Excluding the extra performance collected from certificates, our performance is also No. [-] in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai!"

Lian Xi is actually interested in winning the first place. Anyway, there is not much difference in money, only a difference of 90. A monthly income of [-] already makes him very satisfied.Ji Chen was very concerned.

"you try."

Watchman: "Yes!"

In the vast darkness of night, the watchman held up his white impermanence certificate with one hand, and stretched out his index finger with the other hand. The old god was on the ground curving and drawing amulets on it, and he was still chanting words.

After a while, a faint golden light flashed across his ghost certificate.

The watchman raised his head and said: "It's done. Don't worry, my lords. Although this ranking list is the rules set by Mr. Judge, it is ranked independently. After the rules of the ranking list are set, Mr. Judge will not ask any more questions. Really and This leaderboard has a lot of contact, but we have nine ghosts. Now I have reported to the leaderboard to erase the extra performance phenomenon on the Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai rankings this month. I believe it will not take long for us to be No. [-]! "

In fact, the first and second are almost the same, so there is no need to care so much... Lian Xi thought this in his heart, but Wuchang in black beside him lit up his eyes, opened his Sucheng Heiwuchang certificate, and looked at it energetically.

The man's handsome and profound face showed a rare concentration, because he was too focused, and there was a faint light of anticipation in those dark eyes.

Jichen: "Look."

Watchman: "Okay, my lord, let's have a look together!"

Lian Xi looked at the two of them from the side, and his eyes unconsciously looked at his colleagues.

He only saw this kind of look when Zong Zong was playing King of Glory, he wanted to win, he wanted to take the first place, he would never admit defeat...never surrender.

Wei Wei paused, Lian Xi was stunned by his inexplicable thoughts.

Strange, why did he suddenly think of this sentence, never surrender...

After a while, Lian Xi figured it out.Probably because he accidentally searched for the meaning of the word "捩" two days ago, he suddenly had such an idea.

Watchman: "My lord, it's changed, that little gentleman's name is almost gone!"

His thoughts were interrupted suddenly, and Lian Xi also opened his impermanence certificate.At this moment, Watchman and Jichen were looking at the same proof of impermanence, their eyes lit up, looking forward to it; Lian Xi stood aside, not looking forward to it, nor bored, just looking down at it. .

I saw that on the thin notebook, the number one, Wenzhou Guicha, these four words gradually faded.

Ji Chen raised the corners of his lips.

The watchman puffed out his chest proudly.

Lian Xi watched calmly, watching the name of Wenzhou ghost messenger disappear on the first line as if wiped away by an invisible hand.The watchman laughed excitedly, but suddenly, his laughter stopped abruptly, and even Xi was stunned.

The three of them stared at the impermanence certificate together.

However, after the Wenzhou ghost messenger's name was erased, the next...below him, the second-ranked Suzhou ghost messenger, the name of the Sucheng ghost messenger was also erased!

Ji Chen: "..."

Lian Xi: "..."

The watchman was horrified, and hurriedly said: "Maybe we need to erase the name first, and then get to the first place."

Jichen's eyes were blank, and he nodded slightly suspiciously: "Hmm..."

Then, I saw the four big characters "Shanghai ghosts" suddenly appearing on the first line of the performance ranking list for that month!

Ji Chen: "..."

Lian Xi: "..."

Watchman: "..."

Lian Xi's eyes tightened, and he said, "There are words at the bottom."

Hearing this, Ji Chen and the watchman lowered their heads and looked at the bottom of the month's performance rankings.

Under the gaze of the three of them, on the white paper, lines of small bloody characters slowly emerged——

『It has been verified that both Wenzhou ghost police and Suzhou ghost police are suspected of cheating. After being reported by Jiangnan Daobai Wuchang, the review of this list is completed, and cheating is confirmed.Here, all the performance of the cheating ghosts in the two places will be deprived of that month, and a serious warning will be imposed. 』

"This list is not a place outside the law. I advise ghosts everywhere to enforce the law carefully and work diligently!" 』

"Hereby announce the names of the ghost messengers in Wenzhou and Sioux City, and circulate them among the ghost messengers in Jiudao 663 City. I hope all the ghost messengers will take warning—"

"Wenzhou ghost messenger: Joe and Yue. 』

"Sucheng ghost messenger: Lian Xi, @#[email protected]#$. 』

『Remarks: The effective display period of this circular criticism is one month. 』

Lian Xi: "???!!!"

Jichen: "Where's my name?" Jichen looked carefully for a long time, and saw only Lianxi's name behind the four words "Sucheng ghost messenger".And after Lian Xi's name, the leaderboard seemed to always want to display the name of Chen Chen, but no matter how it was displayed, it was a mess of garbled characters.

Fortunately, it's not particularly embarrassing.Boss Xi breathed a sigh of relief, and closed the impermanence certificate without changing his face.

Lian Xi, who was ashamed and thrown to the whole country: "..."

Turning his head suddenly, the handsome and calm young man could no longer be calm at this moment, Lian Xi gritted his teeth and asked word by word: "What, what, what?!"

Watchman: "..."

The fat body trembled, and the fat all over his body was trembling. The watchman was miserable, and he called out to himself: "I am wronged, my lord! I really didn't know that this ranking list was so smart! We used to be nine Dao ghosts often play tricks and chat with it, and it looks dumb and stupid, especially easy to fool. It's just a set of rules set by Judge Cui, how can this, this suddenly become so intelligent!" He just asked the leaderboard to erase the extra achievements of Wenzhou and Sioux City, and didn't let it catch cheaters!

Now that the matter has come to an end, Lian Xi stared at his name written in red letters on the white paper under the impermanence certificate, gritted his teeth and asked, "When was the last time you communicated with this leaderboard?"

The watchman recalled: "Ten years ago?"

Lian Xi: "It has evolved into this in ten years?"

Watchman: "...it is ten years in the human world, and in the underworld, it is about 3000 years?"

Lian Xi: "..."

Jichen said indifferently: "Actually, it's nothing. Even if all the ghost messengers in other areas of Yangjian have seen it, they don't know you. They just know a name."

Lian Xi turned his head: "Then write your name on it?"

Jichen glanced at Lianxi lightly, and said calmly, "This certificate of impermanence is not very useful. It doesn't show my name, and I didn't force it. It seems to be a bug." President Xi is now a game Veteran players, the word BUG is very easy to say, "If it shows up, it doesn't matter."

Oh, Lian Xi said coldly: "Your name is not on it."

The implication is: You are standing and talking without back pain!

Sensing the meaning behind the young man's cold eyes, Jichen raised his eyebrows casually.He opened his Su Cheng black impermanence certificate, put his right hand and fingers together, and lightly drew on it: "It's just that a group of strange ghosts know your name and know that you are cheating. Is this a big deal? Just write So what the hell."

As he said that, Jichen looked calm, calmly used his finger as a pen, and wrote his name on the messy code on the impermanence certificate.

Thin and slender fingers slid across the white paper, and every time a stroke was drawn, golden light appeared under the fingers.

Soon, the golden word "捩chen" appeared at the bottom of the leaderboard.

Jichen smiled, "That's all."

Lian Xi: "..."

The watchman opened his Jiangnan Daobai Impermanence Certificate, and suddenly said in horror: "My lord, your name is also written on it! This is actually updated at the same time!"

Lian Xi was startled, and quickly lowered his head to look at his Su Cheng Bai Wu Chang certificate.Then……

Oh shit.Smile.

Ji Chen's smile froze on his face for an instant.

Flipping his palm, Su Cheng Hei Wuchang sneered, and the golden album surfaced in his palm.Jichen narrowed his eyes, looked at the watchman, and scolded in a low voice: "You said earlier that it would not affect the performance of my Sucheng ghost trainer, so how should I explain the current situation?"

Watchman: "???" You didn't ask just now, you acted like you didn't care at all!

The watchman's scalp was numb, and he begged for mercy: "The villain is really wronged!!!"

Someone once said that if you want to forget a bad thing, you have to find a worse thing to attract your attention.

At this moment, Lian Xi and Jichen completely forgot that they were supposed to be the second in the ranking this month, and suddenly, let alone the second, they even lost the bottom one, and they couldn't make it to the ranking at all!Now they only have six words in their eyes——

Complete!country!Pass!report!Batch!Review!

On the way back to Sioux City, Lian Xi couldn't stop sighing as he stared at his own name on the ranking list.Take another look, and sigh again.

Ugh……

Jichen was even more furious.

Heiwuchang sat in the passenger seat, his face was cloudy and uncertain, he sometimes opened his own impermanence certificate, and sometimes threw it aside.

"How did Magistrate Cui get the rules of the leaderboard, and why should he disclose the name of the ghost messenger?" Xi Chen frowned and asked dissatisfied.

The watchman replied flatteringly: "Judge Cui and Judge Cui probably just made such a setting casually. I didn't expect to offend your lord?" He said so in his mouth, but he said in his heart: He is a judge, don't say that you are an eighteen-tiered person. A part-time ghost messenger who is not of the highest rank is a serious ghost messenger like him, and the judge doesn't even glance at him from the corner of his eye.What's wrong with disclosing your name, and disclosing your sexual orientation, you can't even say it!

His fingers pressed against the pages of the certificate of impermanence, making a clicking sound.

He hummed softly and closed his eyes.

Seeing this, Lian Xi glanced at him while driving.Sure enough, they all chose the same method...

As long as I pretend to be dead, you will not know that I am the one who was reported and criticized!

However, within a few minutes.

"Drip-"

The phone vibrated, just off the highway, and encountered a red light.Lian Xi stopped the car and turned on the phone.

[Tang Zi:? ? ?Why are you so fat, Lianxi, I saw your name on the impermanence certificate. 】

[Hu Xiaoli: Hey, why did your name appear on the certificate of impermanence? Report criticism and say you cheated? 】

[Tang Zi: I saw the following, cheating!I knew hahahaha, you guys are cheating, you deserve it!Good reincarnation! 】

Lian Xi: "..."

Before replying, WeChat beeped again, and Lian Xi opened it.

【Su Jiao: My uncle said that he heard from a friend that you and the black ghost were criticized by the ghost certificate in the underworld?You two cheat? 】

Lian Xi: "!!!"

This day is over!

How many ghost messengers and Xuanxiu did he know?They all know it!

Lian Xi covered his face with his hands, coughed awkwardly, turned off the phone without looking at it, and threw it aside.

No, he didn't see any of these messages!

In the quiet carriage, Su Cheng, Black and White, and Wuchang were all in a bad mood, not in the mood to speak.The watchman didn't dare to say anything, for fear that Lian Xi and Ji Chen would try to question him after they relieved their embarrassment and regained their senses.

Turning into a quiet alley, after a while, the car drove to the gate of the community.

Lian Xi drove the car calmly, with one hand on the steering wheel, turning to enter the community.Suddenly, his eyes paused, and his gaze was fixed on the gate of the community, the old man who was carrying two big snakeskin bags and stumbling.

His eyes widened slightly, and Lian Xi called out to the other party: "Uncle Li."

Hearing this voice, Uncle Li turned around, and when he saw Lian Xi, he walked over with two snakeskin bags on his shoulders, smiling: "Xiao Lian, what a coincidence. I just happened to be going back to my hometown, so I thought I would order some food." Why don't I bring it to you. I haven't got through to you yet, I was about to leave, and you just came back. Hey, did you just come back from outside...Xiao Lian, why don't you talk? "

In the early morning light, the honest and honest middle-aged uncle raised his hand and stroked the back of his head.On the pale and blue face, only the lips were bleeding red.

He said with a simple smile: "Xiao Lian, why do you always see me not talking?"

The sourness filled the nostrils, the hand holding the steering wheel trembled slightly, and Lian Xi looked closely at the person in front of him.Beside him, Ji Chen and the watchman also looked over.

Ji Chen had met Uncle Li before, and now he suddenly saw him, he was slightly stunned, and subconsciously looked at Lian Xi, but he could only see the young man's unmoving profile like a sculpture.

In the back seat of the car, the watchman said "Hey": "The ghost who just died? It seems that he died less than 24 hours ago."

Uncle Li seemed unable to hear what the watchman said. He looked at Lian Xi with a smile, took out the smashed elderly phone from his pocket, and said very distressed: "I called you several times, but no one answered. I thought about forgetting it, but you came back by such a coincidence. Xiao Lian, uncle brought you rapeseed oil and sticky corn, I remember you like it the most.”