vanilla affair

After Gu Yuze finished his last class in the morning, most of his third-year classmates seemed to be rushing to get on a plane. They stuffed their books into their schoolbags, or hugged them directly to their chests and tucked them under their armpits before running outside. "Is there a free giveaway in the canteen today? You are in such a hurry..."

"That's not right, teacher, today is the graduation photo of the School of Management! I have to rush to take pictures with my senior sister and the others." Some students ran and yelled.

Oh, by the way, it's the graduation season again.Gu Yuze only remembered the date of the School of Botany, and it had nothing to do with him when the other schools were opened.It's not that it doesn't matter at all, it just doesn't matter now.When he returned to California to accompany his parents during the Chinese New Year, he was thinking about what kind of graduation gift to buy for Xia Yi, but now that he has the money left, it is quite good.

When thinking of Xia Yi, one would inevitably think of Ji Sheng. Ji Sheng should not be older than Xia Yi, right? What school did he go to?What major do you study?What do you do at home?Gu Yuze took out his mobile phone and flipped through the text messages between the two of them. As expected, the suggestion to buy orchids together was rejected by Ji Sheng.Ji Sheng said it politely, making it almost impossible to find fault, but he would rather Ji Sheng lose his temper with him, at least the relationship is still alive.

Walking to the second canteen, you have to pass the small square in front of Chongde Building, where there are crowded students, students in academic uniforms and all kinds of friends standing together to take pictures, Gu Yuze sighed sincerely, it's good to be young.

"Teacher Gu—"

Hearing someone calling him several times, Gu Yuze reacted, stopped and turned his head, saw Xia Yi's face was covered in sweat and flushed from exercise, walking towards him with two bouquets of flowers in his arms.He didn't wear a bachelor's uniform, but ordinary casual clothes. Gu Yuze didn't know what he meant to stop him, and asked, "Student Xia? Didn't you take graduation photos today?! Are you also here to see my senior sister?"

Seeing him teasing him easily, Xia Yi's extremely beautiful peach eyes immediately lit up, and said with a smile: "What kind of senior sister, she is a friend from the previous club. The graduation photo of our college will not be until next weekend."

"Oh, really..." He really didn't pay attention to the time of Xia Yi's graduation photo, and he really wanted to forget which college Xia Yi belonged to.

"You...will you come?" Xia Yi asked cautiously.

Gu Yuze sighed, thought for a while before giving him the answer: "You are not my student, so it would be strange for me to come. After all, it is the only college graduation photo in your life, enjoy it."

"It wouldn't be surprising—"

"Xia Yi," Gu Yuze looked at him very seriously, his relaxed expression gradually became serious, "Stop chasing me, we are not suitable for each other, and there will be no future. You waste time like this, why not cherish it?" The right person now or in the future."

Xia Yi felt a little wronged: "Why can't it be you? I think we were pretty good before..."

"No, you think I'm bored, I think you're too lively." Gu Yuze decided to say it all at once, "The harmony before was just the result of compromise, but you think I'm good now because I've become you" It’s just the part that’s lost. You’re still so young, it’s not guaranteed that you will meet anyone in the future, there will always be someone who is more suitable for you than me.”

"So that flower shop owner is more suitable than me?" Seeing him nodding, Xia Yi asked again, "Where is it better?"

"Feeling." Gu Yuze said abstractly, "And he likes flowers very much."

"You live together?" Xia Yi couldn't help asking, remembering the box of old things sent to his dormitory.

Gu Yuze didn't speak, but just gave him a deep look.With just one eye, Xia Yi could see the inexplicable feelings and desires in the black glass-like lake.He didn't need to ask any more, that was the affection that even he had never had.

"...I originally bought flowers and wanted to give them to you..." Xia Yi pointed to the elegant bouquet of bellflowers.

"No need. It's better to give it to your friends than to me. Today is their holiday." Gu Yuze smiled softly, then turned and left.

Talking to Xia Yi, Gu Yuze felt in a good mood, and more importantly, he also reminded him that no matter what kind of awkwardness Ji Sheng was having, he had to confess his heart to him in person.Zheng Chengfei can live with Ruan Tianyu, why can't he abduct Ji Sheng home and plant flowers for him?

Now Ji Sheng hardly answers his calls, and text messages also abide by the rules.Gu Yuze wanted to communicate with him in depth, so he had to ask Ruan Tianyu for help.Zheng Chengfei is naturally happy, if Gu Yuze succeeds, Ruan Tianyu will have no reason to rely on Ji Sheng's side.He hurriedly discussed with Ruan Tianyu, but it was a pity that Ruan Tianyu's father was not very capable of his son, so Ji Sheng turned back to him without asking a few words.

Ji Sheng understood Ruan Tianyu's routine, and it was clear at a glance who was behind it.But he never mentioned the story of his youth to Little Cutie, and Ruan Tianyu still couldn't find out why Ji Sheng was indifferent.Ruan Tianyu knew that he had something on his mind, and after all he still hoped that Gu Yuze could help Ji Sheng, so for the dinner, even though Ji Sheng was unwilling to attend the appointment, Ruan Tianyu couldn't bear to send him there himself.

They took a taxi and drove all the way to the new area near the sea. Ruan Tianyu settled for a private room in Shuiyunju, which happened to be next to the lake. When he turned his head, he could see swans in the lake.

"Who told you that this place is newly opened?" Ji Sheng smiled faintly, making Ruan Tianyu shiver.

"……colleague!"

Ji Sheng didn't expose it, and slowly wrinkled the tea.Ruan Tianyu jumped up and said he was going to the bathroom even before his stool was warm. Ji Sheng didn't bother to talk to him, so he tore up a small box of bread crumbs on the table next door, and threw them into the lake, causing a large group of Jin scrambling for food. carp.

As soon as Ruan Tianyu left, Gu Yuze pushed open the screen door of the cubicle and came in.With his back facing the door, Ji Sheng lowered his head and carefully fed the fish. The delicate figure of his back gave Gu Yuze the urge to hug him instantly.Hearing the sound of the door, Ji Sheng turned his head, not surprised at who came, and smiled politely at him while brushing the debris off his hands.

Gu Yuze had already prepared a draft for the excuse, so I'm afraid he doesn't need to use it now.Sitting upright, Ji Sheng brought him a new teacup, poured it inside and out and filled it up for him.

Gu Yuze handed him the menu, and Ji Sheng shook his head, asking him to order some signature dishes.Gu Yuze couldn't refuse, so he had to order a turbot fish, and then ordered two kinds of stir-fry and fermented bean curd.After the waiter left, the two of them were speechless for a while, and each took small sips of tea.

Holding the teacup, Gu Yuze stared at Ji Sheng's hazy shadow through the hot smoke.It seems to be a little thinner, it seems a little lonely.He wanted to say something, but he was afraid of being abrupt, as if there was a pot in his heart, slowly simmering his heart, which was more tormenting than a knife in the head.

The person on the opposite side didn't speak, and Ji Sheng felt like he was sitting on pins and needles. He could only slowly grope for the box of bread crumbs, do something to divert his attention, and hope that he can get to the table soon so that he can find something to do.

At this time, the turbot fish was brought up, Ji Sheng moved the chopsticks first, Gu Yuze wanted to speak, but the piece of fish had already fallen into his bowl. "Eat first, let's talk after eating." Ji Sheng's eyes were deep, with an undeniable strength.

Shuiyunju's serving speed is not slow, and all four dishes are served quickly.The two had no choice but to bury their heads in the food. One couldn't speak and the other didn't dare to listen.There is no excuse now, Ji Sheng thought while looking at the empty plate.

What is supposed to come will still come, it is destined to be inevitable.He clutched the teacup, feeling more at ease when his hands were not empty, and then he heard Gu Yuze slowly ask: "Is the flower shop very busy recently?"

"Well, graduation season..."

"No wonder you don't have time to pick orchids together..."

"Um……"

Silence again.

Swipe your fingertips along the mouth of the cup, and Gu Yuze's thoughts circled and circled. The person opposite was looking down at the tea foam in the cup in a daze.He took a deep breath and called out to him: "Ji Sheng..."

Ji Sheng raised his head and looked at him, and he continued: "I like you..."

"I know……"

I know, and then there is no follow-up.It wasn't answering "yes" or "I like you too", Gu Yuze saw the heat in Ji Sheng's eyes quickly dissipate, and the scenery inside transitioned from the summer solstice to the autumn equinox, cool and sad, just like the scene of parting that night.

"why?"

"what why……"

"Don't you also have a crush on me?"

"I've never seen a person as brazen as you... so sure that I treat you..." Ji Sheng forced a smile and lowered his voice.

"So... what are you worried about? You think it's unreliable for me to come to you right after we broke up, don't you?"

Ji Sheng didn't look at him, nor did he dare to look at him.He knew that he was too greedy in this relationship, and he was obviously unwilling to go any further, but he didn't want to give up the entanglement of the other party.As long as you don't tell the truth, Gu Yuze will still send you two or three text messages, talking to him about nonsensical things.To put it bluntly, maybe they can't even be friends.

But the other party asked him for a reason.

Ji Sheng was finally willing to look up at Gu Yuze. "No, it's because of me. I... won't be with the teacher."

Gu Yuze seemed to think it was a joke, and frowned: "Teacher is just my profession, and you are not my student, so how could it have anything to do with you?"

"Then when you were with Xia Yi before, did you ever think about what will happen to Xia Yi and you once your relationship is exposed?"

Gu Yuze opened his mouth, wanting to say that it was rare for them to meet each other at school, and who would know about them.But there is no impenetrable wall in the world. Even rumors are enough to get two people into trouble. The issue of homosexuality is still very unenlightened in China.He really didn't think about it, and Xia Yi didn't seem to be worried.Gu Yuze was left speechless by the question, and he was quite confident at first, but now he leaned back in the chair a little bit exhausted.

"I really...haven't considered..."

"You guys will have a lot of trouble. Xia Yi will have to bear a lot of strange looks. Same-sex teacher-student relationship is more sinful than ordinary relationships. As for you, you may be invited to talk, or you may freeze up your relationship with colleagues, and then lose Opportunities for promotion. Public opinion can defeat you without any real means." Ji Sheng was analyzing, but his tone was faint.

"So you're here to scold me...?"

"I just want to say that I don't want to fall in love with an educator." Ji Sheng bit his lower lip, so hard that his lower lip became white and red.

"But we are not a teacher-student relationship, even if you are exposed, it will not affect you!"

"Why not! If we are really together, can I stand by? Can you withstand the pressure? Will you not get tired of this relationship?" The more Ji Sheng asked, the more excited he became, "Gu Yuze, are you Man, career will be the center of your life, can you just give it up for me?"

Ji Sheng stared at him flushed, Gu Yuze was stunned.He didn't expect Ji Sheng to think about such a long-term thing and ask him to plan ahead.Teachers are a profession that values ​​reputation. It is true that they cannot be like ordinary jobs.He was right. He should think about it. The white professors he met when he was an undergraduate didn't care at all about their sexual orientation, so Gu Yuze didn't think much about it.But why does Ji Sheng think so much?

Ji Sheng also felt that he was too excited, so he accused Gu Yuze for no reason, immediately drank a bowl of tea to suppress his anger, and apologized in a low voice: "I'm sorry, I'm in a bad mood..."

Gu Yuze pondered and said: "You're right, the domestic environment is indeed not enlightened enough. I didn't think about this before. I was careless."

"Um……"

"Ji Sheng, then I can ask you, do you like me that much?"

Just now, he justly accused the other party in a long speech, but now there is no reason to admit it shamelessly.Ji Sheng sighed and muttered: "Even if there is, I won't be so stupid as to jump into the pit again."