hell make me fall in love

"Liu Xu."

"Today is my birthday."

"... But I didn't go home... He... told me to die again."

Liu Xu had never been pulled back by Shen Anxing before, and just now he reacted, and in a blink of an eye, he was shocked by his two or three short sentences that could subvert the human outlook on life, and he was dumbfounded again.

These words began to linger in his mind, and their power could shock him alive for three years.

Liu Xu was dumbfounded.

The hand that was not held by Shen Anxing was still stretched out in the air, and he forgot to put it down for a moment.

After being frozen in place for a while, Liu Xu murmured stupidly to Shen Anxing who was leaning against his arms: "Go...go to die?"

With his IQ, it is easy to understand who "he" is in Shen An's jargon.

But this thing is so magical, Liu Xu couldn't believe it again: "...Who told you to die? Could it be your father...?"

He felt Shen Anxing nodding in his arms.

Liu Xu: "..."

Liu Xu's eyes twitched.

Fuck, it really is.

After Ruan Feng's incident, Liu Xu knew that Shen Anxing's father was a scumbag who beat children every day, and he was even famous in the whole community because of this.

He knew that his father was not a good person, but he never expected to be so bad.

He would let his own child die.

Is this something people can say?

Liu Xu is a smart person.Shen Anxing only said these two sentences, and he was able to make a good guess about the matter.

Shen Anxing said "he told me to die again", which proves that this happened more than once or twice.

It is very likely that he... grew up under this kind of vicious curse from his close relatives.

He has been sitting next to these without saying a word.But even if you survive, words will still cause harm to people after all.Even if he couldn't see it with the naked eye, he didn't show it, but these curse-like words would still leave traces in his heart, plant seeds, and be watered bit by bit in invisible corners, trying to break through the ground out.

They accumulated over time, and finally broke through the oppression today, and grew into a towering tree in one breath.

So he went back to the school, opened the window, and was about to jump out.

...What was he thinking at that time?

He looked out the window and didn't jump.

So he doesn't want to die, is he also afraid of jumping?

Is he...

After thinking about it, Liu Xu pursed her lips.

He lowered his head and looked at Shen Anxing who was leaning on him. After thinking for a few seconds in silence, he sighed softly, put his phone back in his pocket, and put his hand on his head, as if to comfort him. Kneaded lightly.

Shen Anxing said nothing.Even though he was so comforted, even with a backer, he didn't cry out loud.

When all the intense pain was the norm, he would no longer be able to cry.

He really felt aggrieved, and tears fell from his eyes uncontrollably, and even his lips trembled with aggrieved waves.

But he didn't want to cry.

He just felt sad.

Shen Anxing gently held Liu Xu with trembling hands, not daring to use any strength.

Of course he wanted to hold on to him, but it had been too dark around him for so long that such a ray of flame had finally appeared, and he was always afraid that it would be extinguished if he didn't pay attention.

Shen Anxing heard Liu Xu ask him: "Then you haven't called your mother?"

"..."

Shen Anxing was silent for a moment, took a breath, held back his tears, and said, "No."

Maybe it was because he was really wronged, or maybe it was because no one had ever heard him say these things, he was really driving himself crazy, Shen Anxing told Liu all these things that he never said. Xu: "She... divorced my dad a long time ago, when I was six years old."

Liu Xu: "Ah, it's okay, after all—"

He originally wanted to say, "After all, your father is such a fool that he won't divorce him. After the divorce, your mother can still call your mother"-but just as the conversation started, Shen Anxing said to him again: "She also Dislike me."

Liu Xu: "..."

"After they divorced, I moved there to live with my dad. Since then, I have been beaten often." Shen Anxing said in a dull voice, "He watched closely during the day, so I secretly called her in the middle of the night... ...In the end, she told me, then you just die."

Liu Xu: "..."

"……do you know."

Shen Anxing leaned on him, as if talking to himself, or as if speaking to him, murmured softly as if in a dream: "I look a lot like my mother."

"That's why my dad always scolds me for this, and always scratches my face with things because of this."

Liu Xu's breathing became stagnant when he heard it, as if a big rock had been thrown on his chest, he was a little out of breath.

But the person involved, Shen Anxing, said calmly: "I don't have this face because I like it."

Liu Xu: "..."

Speaking out all these things that had been accumulated in his heart for a long time, Shen Anxing felt a lot more relaxed.

He let out a long breath, completely unaware that Liu Xu's face was getting darker and darker, and lowered his eyes again, and then said: "I also hate this face, so sometimes... I don't like myself .”

"Recently, I still cut myself in the face." Shen Anxing said, "He's right... This face is disgusting to look at."

"...I can't stand it myself."

"He's right... I was born to be a burden, and I should have died a long time ago."

"But I don't dare to jump. I've already sat there, but I just don't dare to jump... I don't even have the guts to jump down, and I'm really a waste."

"It's all over if I die, and I don't have to be beaten by him anymore... But I don't even dare to die."

"The grades are at the bottom, I have no friends, and I don't even dare to die... What else can I do."

"What's the use of me?"

"I was born...what's the use?"

Having said that, Shen Anxing himself felt that he was ridiculous, so he couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.

Laughing sadly.

He only smiled for a moment, but the smile froze in a blink of an eye, and the corners of his raised mouth slowly rolled down again, unable to smile again.

"...Liu Xu."

He called out to the other party softly, and said, "You said...where do people go when they die?"

"...If it's me, if it's a trash like me...I'm sure I'll go to hell."

As soon as he finished speaking, Liu Xu's hand was suddenly pulled out of his hand.

Shen Anxing was startled.But before he could react, Liu Xu suddenly grabbed his collar and pulled him up from the seat.

Shen Anxing was forced to look up, and when he raised his head, he found that Liu Xu had pulled himself directly in front of his face. The distance between the two of them was almost zero, and they were only a few centimeters away from touching the tip of each other's noses. .

The distance was too close, Shen Anxing saw Liu Xu's face was so dark that it could drip ink, and he could even see the burning anger in his eyes.

Shen Anxing blinked in confusion, his original desolation turned into bewilderment.

……

...?

"Where do people go when they die... right?"

Liu Xu tugged at his collar, his hands clenched into fists trembled slightly, his voice was full of anger, yet calm and cold.

He gritted his teeth and said word by word: "Shen Anxing, listen to me!!! After death, people can't go to heaven or earth, they will only go to the crematorium, funeral parlor, mortuary!!!"

"If you die, it's all over? You think so beautifully!! Let me tell you, even if you die, nothing will end. If you die now, your dead father will not only be so happy that he will make the funeral a wedding banquet and fuck you I will bring all my cronies and friends to sing and dance in front of your mourning hall to find a lady!!"

"You think this is good, don't you think you are a filial son if you die and make this bastard happy!? He is happy when you die. You want to let this bastard harm you for more than ten years so much Idiots are happy, aren't they!?"

"That's all you can do!? You're all that good, Shen Anxing!?!"

"You have the guts to sit there looking for death, why don't you have the guts to live!? Why don't you have the guts to live to let that bastard see that you are not a waste at all!?!"

"You still call them parents after treating you like this!? Are they worthy!?"

"You dared to fight so hard for me, why didn't you dare to live like that!? Why didn't you dare to live a better life!?"

"You think you are useless, you think you have such a disgusting face!? Then you also believe the words of a scum who has plagued you for so many years!? You are good-looking. Who in our class doesn't think so? You don't know how many girls are there every day! Sneaking at you!?! Disgusting fart, what law is it that the son looks like his mother? It’s none of his business. Why do you believe such bastard words? Are you fucking Stockholm!?! And your grades are at the bottom Not daring to die is a waste!? Shit, who the hell is not afraid of death!? If you don’t sleep in class and study hard, can you be the bottom of the grade!? Do you think that going to school is just a joke? Sleeping every day can pass the exam!?! Yourself If you don’t do farts, you feel like a waste, are you an idiot!?!?!”

Shen Anxing: "..."

Liu Xu yelled too loudly, and after holding Shen Anxing's collar and cursing for a while, the people around and the staff in the supermarket all cast their gazes in their direction.

Seeing that the situation was not good, a staff member hurried into the room and pulled out a relatively burly tally clerk brother.

The little brother came out and saw Liu Xu was grabbing the other party's collar and cursing furiously. He thought Liu Xu was going to fight, so he was startled, and hurried up to stop him: "Hey, little brother, calm down, if you have something to say, do it well!" ..."

Liu Xu was in a fit of anger.He was only sixteen or seventeen years old this year, and it was the time when he was young, frivolous and arrogant, once the boss would kill all of them, regardless of enemy or friend, and return to the spring water.

So, he turned his head and yelled at people: "Shut up!!"

Tally: "..."

Shen Anxing: "..."

Liu Xu was very busy. After shouting at the tally clerk, he turned his head again and slammed his collar again: "Shen Anxing!!!"

Shen Anxing shook his shoulders: "..."

"Listen to me!!"

Liu Xu grabbed his collar and yelled at him loudly and angrily: "You are only 17 years old!! Seventeen!! Not the age when you want to jump off a building and die!! What you should be thinking about is the college entrance examination Going to play football or eat after school, what is the girl you like doing now? Thinking about something in a daze for the next class!!! You fucking give me a better life and slap your damn father in the face hard!! Do you hear me? !?!"

Shen Anxing had never seen him like this before, shrugged his shoulders in fright, and nodded tremblingly.

"It's almost there."

Liu Xu was finally satisfied, loosened Shen Anxing's collar, and threw him on the seat, without looking at the tally clerk and others, he casually grabbed the collar of his coat and lifted it up.

After tidying up his clothes, he picked up his things and hot milk tea, and walked out amidst all the attention.

Halfway through, he stopped again, turned his head, and looked at Shen Anxing: "What are you doing there?"

Liu Xu's remaining prestige was still there, and Shen Anxing shrank back in fright when he saw it, and was stunned by what he said: "...huh?"

"Let's go!" Liu Xu said, "It's your birthday!?!"

Shen Anxing: "..."

Liu Xu went out of the supermarket, hailed a taxi, and led Shen Anxing into it.

Then, he reported a destination to the driver with a very bad expression: "July Mall."

The driver responded and drove the car out.

Liu Xu leaned back on the back seat, put his left leg on his right leg, crossed his arms with both hands, turned his head and glanced at Shen Anxing with an extremely bad expression.

Shen Anxing obediently followed him up, but he sat huddled against the edge of the car seat, shivering with fear, looking pitiful.

At first glance, it seems that he wants to stay away from Liu Xu as much as possible.

Liu Xu's tone was not good: "Why, are you afraid that I will eat you?"

"...No." Shen Anxing didn't dare to look at him, "No."

"Then why are you sitting so far away?" Liu Xu said, "Come here."

Shen Anxing: "..."

Shen Anxing remained motionless, shrugging his shoulders.

Liu Xu stared at him without saying a word.

The two confronted each other in silence for a long time.

In the end, Liu Xu sighed helplessly, bowed his head and admitted his mistake: "Okay, I was wrong, I was a little excited just now."

Shen Anxing: "..."

"I love you too, and I'm angry at you for being so...belittle yourself."

Liu Xu said: "But now I've calmed down, thinking about it carefully, just now I didn't feel a pain in my back when I was standing and talking."

"The needle didn't stick in me, and I can't empathize with you, but I really love you."

"I have a good relationship with you, so... Uh, I really hope you can live well."

"I know it's difficult for you...but, how to say it."

When Liu Xu said this, he stretched out his hand and scratched his cheek. After hesitating for a while, he stammered and said: "Uh... Anyway, I just... don't want to see you continue like this."

"It doesn't matter a little bit... I hope you can live a good life in the future, work hard, and go further in the exam... You must stay away from this shitty native family."

"Maybe you will think that I still don't feel pain in my back when I stand and talk, but... I really think so." Liu Xu said shyly, "If there is anything I can help, just tell me."

While talking, Liu Xu looked at Shen Anxing.

His words calmed down a lot, and Shen Anxing's appearance also improved a lot.He was no longer cowering. Although he was still close to the side of the car, he had already relaxed.

Shen Anxing looked at him, blinked, pursed his lips, lowered his eyes again, and frowned slightly, as if he was really thinking about this.

Seeing this, Liu Xu hurriedly struck while the iron was hot: "But you can take your time in the future, I really want to celebrate your birthday today. Is there anything... you want to do? There are a lot of things in July. Watch a movie ? Eat cake? Or play video games?"

Shen Anxing raised his head when he heard the words, and after thinking for a moment, he said, "Let's play a video game...I haven't been there yet."

Liu Xu: "..."

15 minute later.

The two stood on the third floor of July Plaza, in front of the video game hall.

"Really?" Liu Xu said with cold sweat on his face, "You have never been to the game hall?"

Shen Anxing nodded.

Liu Xu wanted to know that his parents would not bring him to this kind of place, so he said, "Didn't you come here with your classmates or friends before?"

"I have no friends." Shen Anxing replied, "You are the first."

Liu Xu was speechless for a moment: "...my honor."

After saying this, Liu Xu took another look into the game hall, scanned around, saw the front desk, and said, "Then I'll go buy some coins and come back."

When Shen Anxing heard this, he quickly stopped him: "Wait!"

Liu Xu turned around: "?"

"No...you don't need to buy it." Shen Anxing said, "I don't know how to play... just take a look at it, and I'm embarrassed to make you spend money."

"I'm sorry." Liu Xu said, "Didn't everyone say that you will be responsible for my laundry after the compulsory dormitory in the third year of high school? It's all my salary."

Shen Anxing: "...Don't you think this salary is a little too much?"

"That's where it is." Liu Xu laughed and said, "The school sweeper costs three thousand a month, and I only paid you a few hundred yuan. Why don't you pay fifteen thousand a month?"

"... That's too much, I'm still a student, and I don't really work for you..."

Liu Xu: "Who said that washing my clothes doesn't count as work for me? Of course it's work if you pay for it. My dad said that you have to pay someone to do work, and the more you pay, the better. The more he has, the more loyal he is. I have to spend money, and if you don't be loyal to me one day in the future, I will die of grief."

Shen Anxing: "..."

He talked left and right but couldn't beat Young Master Liu, so he had to let him buy it.

Although Liu Xu's family is not as good as those overlords, their parents work in high positions in the company and are not short of money.His father also said that a boy can’t be short of money if he lacks anything, and he will give him a fixed 3000 yuan every month. After the food, water, and transportation expenses are taken out, there will be half left.

Liu Xu didn't eat much, and he saved a lot of money because he couldn't spend it all.

It was more than enough to support Shen Anxing.

Not long after, Liu Xu came back with a pile of game coins.

Maybe he was infected by the lively atmosphere in the game hall. When he came back, Liu Xu also became elated. He turned his head, pointed in one direction, and said to Shen Anxing: "I saw a big claw machine over there. I have to pick one up for you today! Do you like great pyrenes or carrots?"

Shen Anxing: "..."