No.20 years

Love at first sight is worse than seeing it a hundred times.

Chen Jingming said so.

He was slowly swallowing a mouthful of tequila.The movement of swallowing pulled the thin lips, and it was difficult to breathe in the turbid air of the bar, which was either deep or shallow, just in line with Hao Chun's chaotic mood opposite him.

They hug.

they kiss.

Peach blossoms bloom in their young eyes, scorching young.

——The galaxy is everywhere, it’s all about you.

01

Twelve o'clock at night.

"Have you ever seen a man, 1.8 meters five, with short hair, who likes to wear white shirts and large T-shirts. His name is Chen Jingming. Have you met him?" Hao Chun asked the private detective opposite.

"No, I searched all over the database based on the information you gave me, but I can't find the Chen Jingming you're looking for." The private detective smiled, implying that the business is not a deal.He has a straight nose and sharp eyebrows. Although his facial features are not exquisite, he can barely be regarded as a good-looking man.Hao Chun's standard for choosing a boyfriend is very high, and the one in front of him can barely be considered average.

The two "barely counted" have opened the distance between him and Chen Jingming.

Chen Jingming is Hao Chun's ex-boyfriend, and also his first love that he has never had time to forget for many years.

However, after tonight, everything will be over.

"Why do you think of looking for someone in Jibei City?" The private detective started looking for something to talk about, trying to take advantage of the time when he got up, and sat down next to him.

Hao Chun frowned slightly, raised two thick eyebrows to see him firmly. "Do you know which bar in Jibei City has the best singers?"

"This is the one I brought you here!" The private detective said with a smile.

Hao Chun turned to look at the singer wearing flip-flops on the stage, listening to the first affectionate ballads spit out from his mouth.The singer is very young, his voice is not vicissitudes, far less beautiful than Chen Jingming.But when he made a plosive sound similar to "skin", his lips were thin and cool, and his pronunciation seemed a bit hooligan.

With a touch of no-nonsense asceticism.

This is very similar to Chen Jingming.

Hao Chun lingered for more than an hour in a state of disenchantment, fingered the keyboard, transferred a fee to the private detective, and then left the bar.In the dark of night, Hao Chun rejected the private detective's proposal and boarded a taxi alone.

After driving for 5 minutes, Hao Chun got out of the car and looked back, the private detective had already been submerged in the night returnees in twos and threes.Maybe he didn't look back at his back at all.This is not like Chen Jingming.

Chen Jingming.Chen Jingming was like a nightmare.

There is no other man in this world who treats him like Chen Jingming.

Hao Chun sighed, and walked back to Bar Street along the lonely gravel road in the ancient city.In the past two years, he has almost retraced all the roads he and Chen Jingming walked together.Until he no longer expects love.

There were bursts of hot accusations from the wine, and the skin was already slightly red under the stimulation of alcohol, and it was cooled by the night wind.He didn't know how many times he walked back and forth, and finally heard a very hoarse voice singing "Long Street, Youth Eaten by Dogs" repeatedly in a low and lingering voice.

Shocked, Hao Chun quickly pushed open the vermillion-painted door in front of him.

creak.

It's like pushing away a light of the world that has long been sealed by time.

A beam of bright light shines on the singer's position.The singer faced him sideways, with his head lowered, only to see his hair as black as water weeds, his clumsy and short fingers pressing on the strings of the guitar, and the shadow fell on the stage, which was extraordinarily desolate.

Hao Chun seemed to be bewitched, and raised his hand to look at his left wrist. It was 02:30 in the morning.

He quietly leaned against the darkest corner by the door, listening to the whole song obsessively, with tears falling down his face.The bare arms were raised, then lowered, and a butterfly in full bloom climbed up the back of the neck.It is the testimony of his love with Chen Jingming when he was young.A butterfly that never fades away, commemorated in the form of a tattoo.

02

"Have a glass of water, you drank too much tonight." After the singer stepped off the stage, his face was crystal clear and handsome.

A coat was draped over him, concealing a large, ostentatious tattoo on his bare back.

Hao Chun raised his head, glanced at him, and then again, and finally smiled with water in his eyes. "You sing very well."

He doesn't want to cry.

After tonight, he wouldn't even have physical tears from the tequila.

Because, he will never drink tequila again.

The singer smiled and flicked the ashes off his fingertips. "I've been in this bar for three years. Is this your first time here? I haven't seen it much before."

The topic was plain and detailed, as boring as a glass of wine without Chen Jingming.Hao Chun was reluctant to say goodbye.He tried his best to keep the person in front of him with words, and said a lot of irrelevant things.The words floated like a river, drowning the heart that once loved Chen Jingming.

There is nothing good about Chen Jingming.

But in the days without Chen Jingming, all the colors in the sky dimmed.Even the wine has faded out of the bird smell.

"...The lyrics are good, did you write them yourself?" Hao Chun tentatively asked, his lips trembled inadvertently, all kinds of temptations and cautions were broken into pieces in the gap waiting for his answer.

"No." The singer answered frankly. "Two years ago, a friend also liked to play guitar together. He taught me this song. He wrote many songs, but they were not popular. But he refused to sing songs written by others."

"And then, where did he go?" Hao Chun's voice became sharp, his fingers curled up by his side, convulsing uncontrollably.

The singer paused and asked in surprise, "You know him?"

Hao Chun looked into his bright and twinkling eyes and was speechless. "No, it's not considered acquaintance." He worked very hard not to let himself lose control in this bar again. "Just curious."

The singer does not speak.

"I like this song very much, so I'm a little curious." Hao Chun began to laugh nervously, his fingers twitched one by one, curled up, and straightened again.

"If you like it, how about we sing a song together." The singer warmly invited him to the stage.The two of them sat side by side on the small stage, the lights shone on the top of their heads, and they were faint yellow, as if Chen Jingming and him were squeezed together in that month of that year.

Hao Chun didn't know what he said at the end, and what he said again, and they both laughed at the end.Laughing and singing, set off the late night crowd in the bar.

Crazy laughter came out of the door.

Suddenly he pulled Hao Chun up with one hand, his strength was strong and he could not allow him to refuse.

"Hao Chun! You lunatic! I finally found you!" There was deep anger in the voice.The visitor stared at the singer, full of defense.The coat that Hao Chun was wearing was thrown on the ground, trampled on a few times, and rolled down to the stage.

The singer stood up awkwardly, and wrestled with the visitor.

Hao Chun sat aside expressionlessly, slowly picked up the guitar from the ground, and sang quietly alone.Singing the night of the bright moonlight, a beloved boy was lost far away.It was a song Chen Jingming wrote for him. In the past, Chen Jingming only sang for him.Later, he changed hands and sold the song to someone else.

Still later, he disappeared.

Hao Chun never saw him again.

On the other side of the Pacific Ocean, he didn't know whether that person was still alive.Don't care either.

After tonight, everything will be over.

"Have you ever seen a person, 1.8 meters five, with short hair, who likes to wear white shirts and oversized T-shirts, and sings songs he wrote for me. His name is Chen Jingming. Have you met him?" Hao Chun suddenly put down the guitar, turned around and asked the bar owner earnestly.

The barkeeper looked terrified.The next moment, a bloody fist waved behind Hao Chun's ear, causing him to stagger and fall forward.

03

Five in the morning.

Hao Chun sat on the bench in the emergency room with his head tilted and took a nap.Holding him with one hand, he forcibly wrapped the fierce butterfly behind him with body heat.

"Chen Jingming, Chen Jingming..." Hao Chun in the dream was running, the sun was shining on the basketball court, and Chen Jingming was sweating profusely under the basketball hoop.Every bead of sweat shone with golden sunlight.He rushed over, smiling all over his face, and hugged Chen Jingming's waist from behind.The call was like the only breath left in his life, he exhaled and exhaled, reluctant to use force.I was afraid that in the next moment, between breathing in and out, Chen Jingming would disappear again.

Tears slid down his face and fell on the back of that hand.

Snapped!

A crisp slap hit Hao Chun's face, shattering his dreams.

"Hao Chun, you lunatic!" The voice was fierce and full of anger.

Hao Chun looked blankly at the hand in front of him.Then slowly, with a wink, a sudden smile.His smile is as soft as a scorching peach in spring. "Have you ever seen a person, 1.8 meters five, with short hair, who likes to wear white shirts and oversized T-shirts, and sings songs he wrote for me. His name is Chen Jingming. Have you met him?"

His answer was another loud slap.

"Wake up your mother, the man who is with you now is me, and the man you said you are going to marry is also me! Open your eyes and look at me!" An angry voice roared in his ear.

The roar broke through the golden sunlight, and the sunlight shattered into shards of glass, each piece of shards of glass was stained with bright blood, bit by bit, messy and wanton.

"No!" Hao Chun hugged his head and howled in pain, his fingers convulsed, and his whole body twitched uninterruptedly.

The face zooms in before my eyes, and finally freezes.It wasn't the handsome basketball player in memory, but a face with distorted features, and a shocking scar from the left eyebrow to the chin.The man's voice was always full of anger, this time revealing a kind of exhaustion after heartbroken. "Achun, are you going to continue to be crazy like this? Tomorrow, we will get married!"

Hao Chun raised his head suddenly, fixed his eyes on the man, and could hear each other's breathing when they were close. "Money bastard, it's you!"

silent.

"You're finally willing to look at me." The man sitting beside him was breathing heavily, and the hands around his shoulders were shaking like a dead leaf. "Ten years, Ah Chun, you are finally willing to call me by my nickname again!"

"I'm sorry," Hao Chun hugged him back, absorbing the warmth of the man. "It was my fault. Tomorrow we go to register."

The man raised his empty right sleeve, his clothes were torn and stained with blood from the fight. "Ten years ago, I was the one who was injured by Chen Jingming's car! You said that as long as I don't hold him accountable, you are willing to marry me. You said, you..."

"Stop it! Stop it!" Hao Chun pushed him away violently, then hugged his head in pain, his chest heaved violently, and he could barely breathe.

"You said it," the man continued brutally. "From now on, I will never look for Chen Jingming again. In the past two years, you have been running around with your backpack and entrusting people to find Chen Jingming for you everywhere. Where did you leave me? Hao Chun, I have loved you for 15 years!"

Hao Chun lowered his head and took out a cigarette from his pocket.He tried this simple action ten times, and finally ignited it hanging on his lips.

Throat is very dry.

Hao Chun stared at Qian Biaosan's constantly moving lips, the light in his pupils gradually faded.After some time, he laughed.Long strands of soot fell down the pale lips, like an old dream that withered in one place.

"Yes, I don't love him any more. Tomorrow we are married."

"Really?"

"Ah."

"You won't run this time?"

"Ah."

"You don't regret it?"

"Ah."

Qian Yansan was devastated, his eyes were red, and the corners of his mouth stained with blood seemed to cry and smile.There was a terrifying noise coming out of the mouth, like a broken bellows, and the breath it exhaled was creepy.

In the smog, Hao Chun couldn't see Qian Biaosan's face.He shrunk back into the bench as much as possible, his toes in his white sneakers spasming.He heard the heart in his chest that had been throbbing fiercely like a rebellion gradually died.

It's been ten years.

It has been ten years since Chen Jingming left.Maybe, he will never remember him again.

Or maybe he still hated him.

Such a proud man with such a good-looking smile, how could he come back to him humbly and ask him why?

……Why did you split up.Why, don't want him.

Hao Chun curled up in the bench outside the emergency room of the hospital, his eyebrows lowered, and he didn't say a word.

July fourteenth.05:30 in the morning.

Slowly but firmly, Qian Yansan took off the ring on the ring finger of his left hand, put it in Hao Chun's palm, and then closed his hand, allowing him to hold it slowly.That gesture cannot be refused.

Qian Yongsan said in the last word: "Hao Chun, you are mine!"