No.20 years

Hao Chun was in a daze for a moment in Chen Jingming's deep, passionate kiss.

After breaking up for ten years, he once felt that life seemed like years.But now it was only a day and night to meet again, and he felt that it had been a long time like ten years.

So time, for a mental patient, is probably really vague to the point of meaninglessness.He always lost to Chen Jingming.Chen Jingming was crying, he wished he could bear all the hardships for Chen Jingming; when Chen Jingming stopped crying, and came to hug him and coax him, he couldn't help but raise his hands and surrender.

I really fucking love this guy so much!

Hao Chun raised his head and laughed dryly in the summer corridor where the gloomy breeze passed by.

Chen Jingming interpreted his long laughter as joy, so he kissed him deeper and deeper, and finally asked him hoarsely with reddish eyes. "Achun, what kind of wedding do you like? We will hold a wedding when we arrive in country A."

What kind of wedding does he like?

Hao Chun thought for a moment.But his waking hours were getting shorter and shorter, so that even this moment made him anxious. "up to you!"

There might not be a wedding anyway.Hao Chun thought gloomily, anyway, I will be sent to a mental hospital by you when I arrive in country A.What Tommy?Just a psychiatrist?Even the past you mentioned, do you have to shift the responsibility for the separation of you and me to others?You and I separate, but because I want to separate.

Hao Chun violently pushed Chen Jingming away.The thrust was so strong that Chen Jingming staggered back three or four steps.

"Why did you get blood all over that night?" Hao Chun asked impatiently. "Ten years ago, why did you run to Jibei City covered in blood?"

Chen Jingming pursed his lips. "That night..."

The night that Hao Chun mentioned should be the night when Qian Qiang lied to Hao Chun about the car accident.

That was ten years ago.

At that time, Chen Jingming was still studying in another city. In fact, he had finished reading the book a long time ago. He just procrastinated and refused to go abroad.One afternoon in August, he drove to Jibei City to look for Hao Chun, wanting to return to their nest.

It turned out to be on the cliff...

The 35-year-old Chen Jingming stopped the car in time and pursed his lips. "I did bump into someone that night."

Hao Chun raised his eyebrows, because he couldn't believe it, his two emerald thick eyebrows were raised very high. "What did you say?"

"I did hit someone." Chen Jingming clenched his fists, slowly stood three steps away from Hao Chun, raised his eyelids, and said slowly, "Ah Chun, the reason why I didn't want to tell you that night was because... There are some things that I really can't say."

After waiting for ten years, the result is nothing more than this sentence.

Hao Chun felt that he was not in a good mood.

"Oh," Hao Chun sneered loudly, and rolled his eyes. "whatever."

He began to rub the freshly opened pack of cigarettes in his trouser pocket again.

He and he used to be close, but after ten years and ten years later, at the age of 35, it is difficult for them to even tell the truth that can be connected.

Chen Jingming pursed his lips, his face pale and ugly.

36

At the end of the day, they didn't go to the wide-angle lens to see the pans of pansies in full bloom.

Chen Jingming stayed by Hao Chun's side, watching him squatting in the corner and smoking one cigarette after another.Burnt cigarette butts were scattered at the feet, Hao Chun's thin ankles were exposed from the empty trousers of the hospital gown, and the blue and white striped hospital gown was shocking.

One after another.

At first Chen Jingming stood with his back against the wall and looked down at him, but gradually, his eyes only looked at the flickering fire on Hao Chun's lips.

That was a world he could not enter.

Chen Jingming couldn't understand what 35-year-old Hao Chun was thinking. The 35-year-old Hao Chun doesn't even want to know the truth that led to their breakup.

Everything doesn't matter, everything is dispensable.

Maybe it's like what Hao Chun said in person, the only one he loves is Chen Jingming, who was between 15 and 16 years old. After the age of 16, he no longer really loved him. The reason why he persisted for another nine years was just a kind of unwillingness.

Or, it's just an inertia that comes from love.

Hao Chun is used to loving him, but he doesn't really love him.

Chen Jingming, 35, had to accept this fact.He slid down the wall dejectedly, squatting like Hao Chun, and the night was getting darker, and he gradually couldn't clearly see Hao Chun's eyebrows behind the light blue smoke.

"A Chun?"

"Ah."

"I never intended to be separated from you. I... have always loved you."

"Ok, I know."

With half a cigarette in his mouth, Hao Chun turned his head and glanced at him. "Your grandfather told me that back then."

Chen Jingming clenched his fists, and his whole body tensed up for a moment. "It was... the third year of junior high school?"

Hao Chun was silent for a while with a cigarette in his mouth, and the ash hung slenderly not far from his lips.The light is dim and dim, like those memories hiding in the dark. "Um."

Chen Jingming thought this was the end, paused, and just wanted to ask a few more tentative questions, but Hao Chun didn't expect to continue talking this time.

"In the third year of junior high, my grandfather came to Jingshan alone to see me a few times. At first, I said that I was not good enough for you, but I refused to accept it. The second time, he took the money." Hao Chun raised half of the corner of his lips mockingly, long The ashes trembled and fell to the ground.

"Chen Jingming, do you know how much he took?" Hao Chun exaggeratedly drew a box. "It's a check, cash can be withdrawn at any time, the number can be filled in as you like, it's just like the one in the TV show!"

Hao Chun laughed heartily.

Chen Jingming couldn't laugh, he could only clenched his fists and apologized hoarsely again. "sorry!"

Hao Chun turned a deaf ear to the sentence I'm sorry.He continued to talk about the memory that is now only remembered by him. "For the third time, grandpa didn't bring anything. He didn't slap me on the table to scold me, and he didn't bring me an empty check. I was sedated. When I woke up, he was sitting on the bedside with a kind face and giving me Peel an apple."

The cigarette near Hao Chun's lips had already burned out and fell to the ground, with a tiny spark still flickering on the cigarette butt.

"Oh, Chen Jingming, you don't know, when our grandfather became charitable..." Hao Chun sighed and called "Chen Jingming" in his mouth, but he didn't even look at the 35-year-old Chen Jingming who was squatting beside him .

Chen Jingming couldn't tell whether he was calling the 16-year-old Chen Jingming, or the 15-year-old, or the 35-year-old him now.

"Our grandfather is indeed an old man who is good at coaxing people." Hao Chun continued to sneer, with a pair of red phoenix eyes drooping, with inexplicable ridicule. "That time he told me, Chen Jingming, you are a stubborn child, and if you identify someone, you will definitely not let go. He said that you will never leave me voluntarily. I am alive, and you must insist on being with me. I'll be together for the rest of my life. I'm dead, and I can't do it even if I die, you will follow me to die in love."

In the dim light, Chen Jingming's eyes moved.

"That's why it only made me crazy." Hao Chun laughed dryly twice, squatted in the middle of a pile of cigarette butts, and raised his head. "Grandpa said, to be crazy is to live or die, so that you can no longer pester me. Because after I am diagnosed with a violent mental illness, you will no longer be able to marry me."

"...Ah Chun," Chen Jingming's voice trembled like a burning smoke.

"So Chen Jingming, I'm fucking crazy because of you! How many people in this world can survive after feeding so many pills?"

The 35-year-old Hao Chun doesn't seem to mind whether people around him call him at all. He holds his head up, his eyes fall into the dark depths that are gloomy and rainy, and his voice is hoarse. "Chen Jingming, you can't understand. I don't want you to understand... I once hoped, but now, I can't."

Hao Chun raised his hand suddenly, pointing to the dark sky. "In my heart, you, Chen Jingming, have always been the brightest North Star. But the North Star... it lives in the sky, it is not in the mundane world."