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The days of breaking up were hard, at least for Zheng Yuming, although he was still in the United States with his parents, his mood had changed drastically.

The mother's condition has stabilized, and it is enough to go to the hospital for rehabilitation exercises every day. Zheng Yuming stays at home temporarily and is responsible for picking up his mother.My father returned to Seattle to take care of some work, leaving him and my mother alone at home.He was alone most of the day, occasionally chatting with his mother when he was facing her, and when he was alone, he became very quiet.

Every day, I open my eyes, get up, run, make breakfast, drive my mother to the hospital, eat lunch at the hospital, and accompany my mother to the psychiatrist for an hour in the afternoon, and then go to a nearby park or art gallery after my mother sees the doctor Take a walk, in the evening, go to the supermarket and go home to cook dinner, watch TV, chat, and rest.

A constant life.

When he first came back, his parents looked at him worriedly, but he didn't say anything, just went to the kitchen to find coffee as usual.

On the weekend, Zheng Yuming sat in front of the computer, staring blankly at the email page, without typing for a long time.

Liu Qijun said that he would write an email to him every week.

Zheng Yuming thought, can I still write emails after breaking up?Write what?Am I fine, or am I bad?He didn't know what to write, but he only remembered Liu Qijun's fierce tone and sadness when he said this, so after struggling for a week, he opened the mailbox and prepared to write the first email.

Nothing new happened this week, the only thing he wanted to write was "I miss you very much", but this can't be written - it's too hypocritical, obviously the person who broke up was himself.

My mother is already asleep. She is in a good mood recently and has not made any progress in her rehabilitation, but she is very confident in herself and goes to bed early at 10 o'clock in the evening.

Zheng Yuming sat alone in front of the computer until one o'clock in the middle of the night before typing the first line:

It's still cold in San Francisco.

His fingers paused on the keyboard for a long time, and he added a second sentence:

good night.

After hitting the full stop, he clicked send.He didn't know when the other party would see this email, and he didn't know whether Liu Qijun would reply to him.After sending the email, he felt that the content of the email was meaningless and monotonous. He was a little annoyed, but he couldn't withdraw the email, so he turned off the computer angrily, and lay on the bed imagining the other party's expression after seeing the email. After thinking about it for a long time, he couldn't figure it out. I was so bored, I took a shower and went to sleep.

The next day, he kept paying attention to the email reminders. When cooking, he kept his mobile phone within reach. As soon as the mobile phone rang, he ran to open it immediately, only to find that it was only an email from a lawyer and greetings from some clients.

He remembered that he had left the job in a hurry and did not notify the clients one by one. Probably the assistant had notified him, and the clients sent emails to inquire.

He was a little disappointed, but politely replied to the emails one by one, telling them that he had resigned from Shuimu Design due to personal reasons, and that the studio would soon be re-registered as a company, and it would still be the original team. I hope everyone will support Yunyun a lot.

Feeling ashamed of Liu Su in his heart, he responded to these emails with extra care, writing each one carefully.He really hoped that previous clients would not have any prejudice against Mizuki Design because of the reason for his resignation, and he even recommended several excellent colleagues to clients.Two customers immediately replied to him, regretting his departure and wishing him a safe and bright future.

The future is safe and the future is bright.

Zheng Yuming looked at these words, smiled bitterly, moved his fingers, and only replied thank you.

Zheng's mother stood behind him, leaning on crutches, a little worried: "Yu Ming, are you okay?"

Zheng Yuming looked back at her, surprised: "Mom, why did you go downstairs? Can't sleep?"

"Well, so I want to chat with you." Zheng's mother took a few steps closer and stretched out her hand to pull him, "Come on, let's sit over there."

The two sat down on the sofa, Zheng's mother looked at him, and asked: "You have been silent a lot during this time, is it because of Liu Qijun?"

Zheng Yuming blinked and said, "It's just that I'm not used to it, it's nothing."

"Are you blaming me?" Zheng's mother held his hand and asked seriously, "Because I had an accident and forced you to break up with him...Do you hate me?"

"What are you talking about? It's my own decision to break up." Zheng Yuming resisted the topic, pulled his hand out, and said, "Mom, don't think about it, I'm really fine."

Seeing her son alienated from her, Zheng's mother felt even more uncomfortable: "I'm sorry, I..."

"Mom, I don't want to talk about this." Zheng Yuming interrupted her, "It's over, let's not talk about it anymore, okay?"

Mama Zheng had no choice but to stop talking.Looking at her son, she felt guilty and distressed, but also faintly disgusted with herself.Because although she said she was sorry for him, she was still glad that her son could come back to her.This ambivalence made her feel like a bad witch, which made her feel even worse.

The previous accident was not what she wanted, but the result was far beyond her expectations.She didn't expect Zheng Yuming to be so frightened by her, and he broke up with Liu Qijun when he returned home.

It must be very hard... She watched her son change from the man who was always smiling and satisfied when talking about his lovers to the cold and quiet one he is now.In fact, this is the son she is familiar with. In the past twenty years, her son has always looked like this. He is a little shy, a little lonely and indifferent, but his heart is warm, and he is patient and tolerant when facing his family.

If she had never seen the lively Zheng Yuming, she might not feel so guilty, but as soon as she remembered how happy her son was with Liu Qijun, with smiles on his eyes and brows, she felt that this person in front of her was too widowed. Faded.

There are few ups and downs in emotions, the smile is very weak, and the words are not much, like a delicate robot, lifeless.

"Yu Ming, how do you feel now?" Zheng's mother asked softly, "Tell my mother, how do you feel after leaving him?"

Zheng Yuming was a little confused: "What?"

Zheng's mother said frankly: "Mom thinks that your current mental state is very bad, and you need a listener. If you don't want to tell me, then when you go to see a psychiatrist tomorrow, you can also go to see it together. Maybe you will Tell the doctor."

Zheng Yuming's eyes trembled.He doesn't like to talk about these things with the psychiatrist, but he also believes that if he continues to be so silent, his mother will really help him make an appointment with the psychiatrist.

He lowered his head slightly, thought for a while, and then slowly said: "Actually, it's nothing, I just feel... my heart is empty."

Mama Zheng listened quietly.

"Actually, my life hasn't changed much. I eat and sleep the same way. But I used to feel that there is someone behind me. No matter what I encounter, whether it can be solved or not, good or bad, I don't think it's a big deal. I wasn’t afraid of this at first, the worst situation was that I was tired and complained to him, as long as I heard his voice, I felt at ease.” Zheng Yuming smiled, “Actually, he can’t help much, but…”

He tilted his head slightly, thinking about how to continue, and kept a few words in his mouth for a long time, but he said a very ordinary sentence: "I just need to know that he is still there."

Regarding these, Mama Zheng feels the same way, and everyone in love understands this feeling.They don't expect the other half to do anything, as long as they exist, they can give them confidence and strength.

"Actually, I have never been a talkative person, but Liu Qijun is very good at talking, talking a lot, and has a lot of strange truths..." Zheng Yuming seemed to think of something, with a smile on the corner of his mouth, and continued, "But he is a person most of the time. They are very unscrupulous, and they start to be poor without saying a few good words, and they are justifiable. Sometimes I am choked by him, and he immediately changes his face and tries to make me happy."

Seeing the soft expression on his face, Zheng's mother felt that her heart was also warmed up.

Zheng Yuming was a little lost.

In fact, he didn't say it completely.Liu Qijun had a bit of a bad taste, and when he got annoyed, he teased him slyly, frowned slightly, looked at him affectionately, lowered his voice and said some messy love words, which made him feel hot, without any resistance Power.

That person is magical, like a gentle trap, once you step into it, you can't get out at all.

"Yu Ming..." Mama Zheng called him back to his senses.

Zheng Yuming was stunned for a moment, then smiled wryly, and said in a low voice, "Mom, it's getting late, I'd better take you upstairs to rest, you have to go to the hospital tomorrow."

Mother Zheng also wanted to say that you didn't tell me what it feels like to feel empty in your heart, but seeing that her son didn't want to talk too much, she knew that she had aroused his sadness, so she sighed and could only tell herself that the days are still long, slowly Let's talk.

When I went to the psychiatrist the next day, Mother Zheng repeatedly asked him if he needed to see it. Zheng Yuming had no choice but to say, "Mom, I'm just broken in love and not depressed. You think too much."

"Breakdowns can also cause psychological trauma, I think..."

Impatiently, Zheng Yuming pushed her wheelchair and walked in: "The doctor is waiting for you, go in."

Zheng's mother can't stay on crutches for too long. She is very tired after the morning rehabilitation exercise, and she still sits in a wheelchair for treatment in the afternoon.

After sending his mother inside, Zheng Yuming went for a walk in the nearby streets alone.

There was still no movement in the mailbox, he thought, Liu Qijun probably wouldn't reply to him.

After the loss, another wave of joy surged in his heart.He thought, since I don't get a response, then I don't have to think so hard about what to write every week, which is fine.

So in the second week, his email content was longer:

When I passed by the park today, I saw two children flying kites, and suddenly realized that spring is here.The spring here comes quietly and the wind is very strong, but some residents in the community have already started to hold a party, and invited our family to have fun.The host set up a barbecue grill in the yard and visited a lot of people, most of whom I didn’t know, but they all knew me, because I always wore a blue sweatshirt to run in the community in the early morning.

The blue is too conspicuous, next time I will change to a gray one.