gentle collapse

After I study, will the author pour knowledge into my head?

Thoughts like this always come up suddenly, like the fungus group breaking through the soil in the bamboo forest after the rain.

I spread out the Chinese paper and used a Chinese dictionary to turn over the correctness and wrongness of the idioms.A thought that cannot be suppressed cannot be suppressed by force. I can only forget it by diverting my attention.

When I finally felt dizzy and could barely see the typeface on the paper, I raised my head, looked at the sky with dark clouds hanging low, and turned on the lamp.A wooden letter box above the desk lamp showed the corner of the yellow envelope, and I looked back and opened it.

"Looking at the weather forecast yesterday, it said that the cold current is going south in the past few days, and the temperature in Sichuan is about to drop, so I bought you a few pairs of winter socks and a shoe dryer for you when I went out, and put them on the bed. Remember to change your socks every day and put them on before going to bed. The shoe dryer is put in the shoes. I may be busy in the future, and I have to go out every day. You can eat in the cafeteria at school, and I will give you extra meals on weekends. When you come back these days, you look a little bad. I called Call your class teacher, he said that your monthly exam results are not very good, and the annual ranking has dropped again, I don’t know if this has something to do with it. Let’s talk tonight and weekend?”

I stuffed the letter back into the envelope, opened the drawer, and placed it on top of the stack of envelopes.My brother and I got into the habit of writing letters to each other after he moved out of the house for work.Although we are not far away, we only see each other once a week, so sometimes I send a text message if I want to say something to him.Later, I found out that even sending letters in the same city was ridiculously slow. Several times I went to him to play for a long time before the letter was delivered, and he opened it in front of me.Later, I felt that it was a waste of money, so I simply gave it to him when I went.

He laughed at me, obviously the two of them were there, but they didn't communicate, what's the matter with reading each other's letter?

It's this kind of slightly funny way, which survived after we lived together, and he nailed a simple mailbox in the study.It's probably because it's not easy for two big men to talk about their thoughts, and I'm a liberal arts student. When I write letters, I always use a few metaphors to describe and exaggerate my feelings, so my brother thinks this is a good way to communicate.Maybe if it is not easy to say normally, I will be honest with him in the letter.

I went out and stood by the kitchen door and said to him, "I saw the letter."

He was bending over to wash things, without looking back: "Let's talk later after dinner?"

I said, "Okay, but I feel like I've just finished lunch. I'm not hungry. You should cook less."

I turned back and looked around the living room, and looked at the shoes placed by the door, but I didn't find Zheng Yi's.Yes, it's so late.My brother came out with the dishes and said to me: "Zheng Yi saw that you were immersed in the questions, and said he was sorry to disturb you, let me tell you, he left first. He will review at home tomorrow, so don't wait for him. "

I said, "How was your chat with him? How does he view his relationship with that time traveler?"

"I didn't chat with him. He has been reviewing in the living room." My brother wiped his hands with a towel. "I asked for his communicator and talked with that backpack."

"Oh... what about the backpack?"

My brother said: "He is a university teacher, and he is quite educated when he speaks. It probably means that after he traveled through time, he felt that he was cast into a sculpture. It was crushed in a day, and the scattered parts were stuck in his throat in seconds, like It’s like swallowing broken glass and blades. Sometimes I feel like a mad dog, and sometimes I feel my brain is frozen, and my eyes are fixed on the cracks of the sofa, and I can stay up from day to night. Zheng Yi told him the first time He cried when he said a word. Now he is a little too dependent on Zheng Yi, and feels that if Zheng Yi’s focus is not on him, it’s as if he doesn’t exist in that space. I persuaded him a few words, and he said He understands those principles and will restrain himself in the future."

I went to the dining table and sat down, not knowing what to say, I pounded the empty bowl with chopsticks in my hand, feeling tight in my chest.

"Are you feeling sorry for him?" My brother stroked my hair, "You've been like this since you were a child, it's up to me."

"Are you ashamed to say that?" I asked.

He said: "The point of my sentence is to praise you for your kindness, and to praise yourself is just incidental."

I felt a little relieved, and smiled and extended the chopsticks to the dishes.After eating, I was still the one doing the dishes, and my brother stood at the door watching, and I could see his serious expression when I turned around.I put the dishes in the cupboard, wiped the stove, and said to him, "It's done, let's go out."

He said, "How is your homework going?"

"It's okay. The speed is pretty fast. I didn't realize that I was halfway done."

He went to the study and checked the papers for me.I just sat and looked at him, his face was very brightly illuminated by the desk lamp, his elbows were propped on the table, and his head was buried a little low.He has been working for several years, and he has forgotten a lot of knowledge, but he will open the book to read the sample questions, and he will also read the corresponding content of my notes very carefully, and he can really find out some mistakes.

I can usually remember the mistakes he finds out better.

Later, I saw that the time was a bit late, so I said to him: "It's almost eleven o'clock, you should go to bed first."

"Sleep with me today, let's chat." He stood up on the table and said to me, "I haven't talked to you much since you entered high school. Boys are older or older. I like to hide my thoughts more or less. I want to write you a letter in the same way as before, but I haven’t written it for a few months. I don’t know what to say. I feel like you won’t reply to me, right? Do you feel a little awkward?"

"No, I was very happy when I saw the letter." I held the drawer with my hand and thought for a while, "There are new socks to wear."

"I'm still looking forward to something heart-warming from you. It's like I'm mistreating you, and I won't even buy you socks." He patted me on the back, and then said, "Go wash your feet and use hot water to wash your feet." Keep the water scalding, or your feet will be cold at night."

After I washed my feet and lay on the bed, he stretched out his hand from under the quilt, stuffed the quilt behind me under my body, and let me press it.I told him that my bad mood was not because of the monthly exam, and then related to some things that happened to the people around me. He said that they have their own lives, and it is useless for me to be anxious here. Help as much as possible, and the rest will depend on their own efforts.After chatting for a long time, sleepiness hit me, and I could hardly keep my eyes open.

He asked me again: "Are you worrying about your own business?"

I thought about it and asked tentatively: "Brother, what should you do if you find out that you are just a character in a novel?"

"That depends on what kind of novel it is, whether it is martial arts or suspense, whether it is modern or ancient..."

I was a little anxious, with a sticky layer of sweat on my back, and my head came to my senses, so I was a little worried about what I would say next: "No, I mean... If that novel is written like we are now Life."

"That's very simple. After I found out, I continued to live as before. I have a place to live, a job, my parents are alive, and you. With these, I am quite satisfied with this novel world."

Yes, I still have you.