Akutagawa's Life as a Savior
Chapter 20 The more I search, the more I feel...
The more I search, the more empty I feel.How can I realize the emptiness of life if I don't seek the meaning of life.The more I realize the emptiness of life, the more I try to hold on to something against this emptiness.
But until now, I still haven't found something to fill the emptiness. The more I try to do it, the more I understand my own mediocrity.
If you are ignorant, there will be no pain, but even such a painful struggle is much more enjoyable than living numbly before.
Even if he lives a hundred times again, he will still hold Mr. Dazai's hand that night in the grove.
Kicked back from another world, and realizing that not too much time has passed since departure, Akutagawa tore up the note he left for his sister before leaving.Now that she's back, there's no need to worry her.
The materials he had prepared before departure were also neatly placed on the table, including the internal information he needed to know about the Mafia, the division of forces in Yokohama, the schedule for the past few days, and the next work plan, etc.Akutagawa picked it up and looked at it, then put it aside.
The magic power full of evil thoughts is still unwilling to give up in another world. Even though it has no root, it can be called a terrible magic power reserve, which is enough for it to harass Akutagawa for several years. several years.
Akutagawa no longer doubts how the Holy Grail can summon heroic spirits from outside the world.
In any case, it is impossible for him to lose to pure evil thoughts, even if it is human's natural evil deeds, it is impossible to defeat the stubborn Akutagawa Ryunosuke.
The only thing Akutagawa Ryunosuke is afraid of is not being able to find a goal to pursue. In order to climb the holy place in his heart, he can climb all the mountains and walk all over the world's deserts, and it is not worth mentioning to burn his life.Only a life of unexaminedness is a way of life that Akutagawa Ryunosuke will never choose.
However, everything will eventually pass away, the mountains will become the sea, and even the romantic moon will become realistic and ugly one day.When everything is gone, what should the left Akutagawa Ryunosuke do?
Abandoned alone out of the world, this is the future that can be seen.Even someone like Akutagawa Ryunosuke shudders at such a future.
In the end, if you become an unconscious puppet again, it would be better to die in the slums at the beginning.
Akutagawa sat in front of the desk until the sun was setting, and only temporarily withdrew his thoughts when Gin came back.
The sound of the keys knocking was familiar and friendly, and Akutagawa Yin's key chain was decorated with a small flower ornament, which made the sound of this bunch of keys very unique.As long as he heard this unique voice, Akutagawa knew that his sister had returned home.
Yin was very happy when she came home today. She is usually introverted and shy. Although she is very strong, she is not good at expressing her feelings.This is a common problem of the Akutagawa brothers and sisters.
"Brother," Yin couldn't help showing his dimples while speaking, "Today when I was competing with my colleagues, I won against Mr. Liyuan and Mr. Guangjin!"
Her eyes were so bright that Akutagawa couldn't help but smile, "Ah, Mr. Hirotsu must have been negligent."
He deliberately teased her, Mr. Hirotsu is very old in the port of Mafia, and he is a relatively strong supernatural person. Winning shows that Yin has indeed made great progress.
"That's not true!" Yin's eyes widened, "It's because my brother taught me well and I became a lot stronger, so I won."
Akutagawa laughed, this is his younger sister who has been protecting him since he was a child, and the younger sister is always so impatient to get out of his protection.He was proud and regretful at the same time.
During the meal, Yin suddenly asked him, "By the way, where did brother eat at noon? Sister Yiye and I went to eat a famous ramen restaurant. I wanted to ask you to go with me, but I couldn't contact you. We just I went by myself, the restaurant recommended by sister Yiye is really delicious, next time my brother will go too."
Akutagawa avoided answering the question, "Okay, if it's delicious, let's go together next time."
"Then it's settled, brother can't miss the appointment." Yin was very happy with his brother's response, and accidentally forgot the first question.
Every day is a new day, when Akutagawa just woke up, he felt at a loss where he was.The direct sunlight hits the eyes a bit harsh, and I forgot to draw the blackout curtains last night.
Akutagawa realized that he was at home when he saw the familiar mural on the wall.At the beginning, he entered the world of Ghost Slayer out of nowhere, and couldn't find any hope of returning home. That experience caused a great psychological shadow on him.
Akutagawa dressed in an orderly manner, still wearing the white shirt and black jacket he was used to wearing before, and the jacket was the one that Mr. Dazai gave him back then. The black classic will never go out of style.
In fact, Akutagawa has already consciously differentiated the cognition of this world and another world, and the distinction of clothes is a very effective means.Akutagawa even changed his clothes on purpose when crossing, and did not wear this precious souvenir.
When he walked out of the house, the sun was already high. He didn't sleep well last night, and the black mud swallowed by Rashomon was stored in his body, constantly trying to pollute his spirit.
After adapting, Akutagawa can suppress the influence of black mud when he is awake, but he cannot block the pressure caused by mental pollution in his sleep.Akutagawa had a nightmare that he couldn't wake up all night, and now his temples are still throbbing with pain.
Routinely went to inspect the Mafia building in the port, and was pulled by the leader of Mori to play the front.Chief Mori likes to chat with him recently, and Akutagawa has a bad sense of his unclear meaning, and always answers the most superficial meaning in a daze.But Chief Mori seemed to like it very much, and asked him to accompany him more frequently.
In the afternoon, Akutagawa continued to carry out his mission. By the way, because of his poor appetite at noon, Higuchi's fussy questioning made Captain Akutagawa's suspected love affair spread quickly throughout the port Mafia.Akutagawa really didn't understand how Higuchi's words "Senior is not in a good mood" evolved into this.
Akutagawa led a group of people straight to the destination.In an old apartment building near Chinatown in Yokohama, several black cars were parked downstairs. The obvious signs of the port mafia made the surrounding residents stay away.
This area is located in a complex population waiting to be demolished. In addition, the apartment is old and the rent is very cheap. It is one of the favorite hiding places for foreigners.
Akutagawa's mission here is to hunt down a group of criminal gangs that came from across regions.Probably because of the previous confrontation with the Rats of the Dead House, some people thought that they could test the port mafia, so they secretly contacted these gutter rats who would do things for money, hoping to make a lot of money.
As long as there is action, there will be clues. After Akutagawa captures these people alive, there will be a special torture team to pry their mouths open.
In the past, similar tasks of capturing alive were seldom given to him, because there were generally no survivors under Rashomon's sect.But it just so happened that Akutagawa made an agreement with others not to kill anyone for half a year, so Chief Mori simply made the best use of it.
When Akutagawa kicked the broken glass and jumped in through the window, the people inside were hastily packing their equipment and preparing to escape.Maybe they thought the eighteenth floor was a buffer zone enough for them to escape by the helicopter that arrived on the roof.
The sudden rupture of the window made these people feel the crisis. In an instant, violent gunshots rang out in the room, and the quick-reacting enemies had already launched their guns and fired wildly.No one cares about accidentally injuring friendly troops. After all, now is not the time to worry about the safety of ricochets and indoor gun battles.
But the bullets pushed out by the violent kinetic energy stayed halfway, and the impact brought by the strongest recoil still stayed in the shoulders and ribs, but the bullets all over the sky were displayed on the ripples that appeared out of thin air in the air like exhibits.
It's a supernatural being, and a very powerful supernatural being at that.When they recognized Akutagawa's iconic dress and face, everyone was in despair, and most of the muzzles were already hanging down weakly, welcoming their own fate that had already arrived.
It was very simple to capture the enemy. Rashomon poked his head out with claws and teeth, and quickly made everyone present lose their ability to resist like a child who had the opportunity to show off.
The battle time is extremely short and the cost is extremely low. Except for the damage caused by the enemy's crazy shooting when they first entered the house, the room even has the same layout and appearance as before.
Therefore, organizations including the port mafia have always liked to recruit supernatural beings, which are cheap, easy to use and powerful.
Akutagawa waited for a while before waiting for his panting subordinate to rush upstairs.In order to prevent anyone from escaping, the team members divided into two groups, all the way guarding the door, the elevator and the exit of the fire escape, and running up the stairs all the way to ensure nothing goes wrong.
The scene of people in black suits carrying a dozen or so unconscious people filed out attracted the crowd to watch from a distance, but everyone behaved well and did not take their mobile phones to avoid arousing suspicion.
Akutagawa stood alone far away, thinking about a problem. Today's task was completed to a very high degree, with impeccable timing and timing, and there was no problem with the participation and safety of his subordinates.
I feel itchy, I have made such great progress, I really want to show it to Mr. Dazai, maybe I can get a compliment.
Akutagawa, who seemed alone and beautiful, was actually thinking about how to escape from work, but before he could figure out a way, under the watchful eyes of everyone, a child who suddenly appeared rushed over and hugged his thigh, and yelled in a hoarse and affectionate voice, "dad!"
But until now, I still haven't found something to fill the emptiness. The more I try to do it, the more I understand my own mediocrity.
If you are ignorant, there will be no pain, but even such a painful struggle is much more enjoyable than living numbly before.
Even if he lives a hundred times again, he will still hold Mr. Dazai's hand that night in the grove.
Kicked back from another world, and realizing that not too much time has passed since departure, Akutagawa tore up the note he left for his sister before leaving.Now that she's back, there's no need to worry her.
The materials he had prepared before departure were also neatly placed on the table, including the internal information he needed to know about the Mafia, the division of forces in Yokohama, the schedule for the past few days, and the next work plan, etc.Akutagawa picked it up and looked at it, then put it aside.
The magic power full of evil thoughts is still unwilling to give up in another world. Even though it has no root, it can be called a terrible magic power reserve, which is enough for it to harass Akutagawa for several years. several years.
Akutagawa no longer doubts how the Holy Grail can summon heroic spirits from outside the world.
In any case, it is impossible for him to lose to pure evil thoughts, even if it is human's natural evil deeds, it is impossible to defeat the stubborn Akutagawa Ryunosuke.
The only thing Akutagawa Ryunosuke is afraid of is not being able to find a goal to pursue. In order to climb the holy place in his heart, he can climb all the mountains and walk all over the world's deserts, and it is not worth mentioning to burn his life.Only a life of unexaminedness is a way of life that Akutagawa Ryunosuke will never choose.
However, everything will eventually pass away, the mountains will become the sea, and even the romantic moon will become realistic and ugly one day.When everything is gone, what should the left Akutagawa Ryunosuke do?
Abandoned alone out of the world, this is the future that can be seen.Even someone like Akutagawa Ryunosuke shudders at such a future.
In the end, if you become an unconscious puppet again, it would be better to die in the slums at the beginning.
Akutagawa sat in front of the desk until the sun was setting, and only temporarily withdrew his thoughts when Gin came back.
The sound of the keys knocking was familiar and friendly, and Akutagawa Yin's key chain was decorated with a small flower ornament, which made the sound of this bunch of keys very unique.As long as he heard this unique voice, Akutagawa knew that his sister had returned home.
Yin was very happy when she came home today. She is usually introverted and shy. Although she is very strong, she is not good at expressing her feelings.This is a common problem of the Akutagawa brothers and sisters.
"Brother," Yin couldn't help showing his dimples while speaking, "Today when I was competing with my colleagues, I won against Mr. Liyuan and Mr. Guangjin!"
Her eyes were so bright that Akutagawa couldn't help but smile, "Ah, Mr. Hirotsu must have been negligent."
He deliberately teased her, Mr. Hirotsu is very old in the port of Mafia, and he is a relatively strong supernatural person. Winning shows that Yin has indeed made great progress.
"That's not true!" Yin's eyes widened, "It's because my brother taught me well and I became a lot stronger, so I won."
Akutagawa laughed, this is his younger sister who has been protecting him since he was a child, and the younger sister is always so impatient to get out of his protection.He was proud and regretful at the same time.
During the meal, Yin suddenly asked him, "By the way, where did brother eat at noon? Sister Yiye and I went to eat a famous ramen restaurant. I wanted to ask you to go with me, but I couldn't contact you. We just I went by myself, the restaurant recommended by sister Yiye is really delicious, next time my brother will go too."
Akutagawa avoided answering the question, "Okay, if it's delicious, let's go together next time."
"Then it's settled, brother can't miss the appointment." Yin was very happy with his brother's response, and accidentally forgot the first question.
Every day is a new day, when Akutagawa just woke up, he felt at a loss where he was.The direct sunlight hits the eyes a bit harsh, and I forgot to draw the blackout curtains last night.
Akutagawa realized that he was at home when he saw the familiar mural on the wall.At the beginning, he entered the world of Ghost Slayer out of nowhere, and couldn't find any hope of returning home. That experience caused a great psychological shadow on him.
Akutagawa dressed in an orderly manner, still wearing the white shirt and black jacket he was used to wearing before, and the jacket was the one that Mr. Dazai gave him back then. The black classic will never go out of style.
In fact, Akutagawa has already consciously differentiated the cognition of this world and another world, and the distinction of clothes is a very effective means.Akutagawa even changed his clothes on purpose when crossing, and did not wear this precious souvenir.
When he walked out of the house, the sun was already high. He didn't sleep well last night, and the black mud swallowed by Rashomon was stored in his body, constantly trying to pollute his spirit.
After adapting, Akutagawa can suppress the influence of black mud when he is awake, but he cannot block the pressure caused by mental pollution in his sleep.Akutagawa had a nightmare that he couldn't wake up all night, and now his temples are still throbbing with pain.
Routinely went to inspect the Mafia building in the port, and was pulled by the leader of Mori to play the front.Chief Mori likes to chat with him recently, and Akutagawa has a bad sense of his unclear meaning, and always answers the most superficial meaning in a daze.But Chief Mori seemed to like it very much, and asked him to accompany him more frequently.
In the afternoon, Akutagawa continued to carry out his mission. By the way, because of his poor appetite at noon, Higuchi's fussy questioning made Captain Akutagawa's suspected love affair spread quickly throughout the port Mafia.Akutagawa really didn't understand how Higuchi's words "Senior is not in a good mood" evolved into this.
Akutagawa led a group of people straight to the destination.In an old apartment building near Chinatown in Yokohama, several black cars were parked downstairs. The obvious signs of the port mafia made the surrounding residents stay away.
This area is located in a complex population waiting to be demolished. In addition, the apartment is old and the rent is very cheap. It is one of the favorite hiding places for foreigners.
Akutagawa's mission here is to hunt down a group of criminal gangs that came from across regions.Probably because of the previous confrontation with the Rats of the Dead House, some people thought that they could test the port mafia, so they secretly contacted these gutter rats who would do things for money, hoping to make a lot of money.
As long as there is action, there will be clues. After Akutagawa captures these people alive, there will be a special torture team to pry their mouths open.
In the past, similar tasks of capturing alive were seldom given to him, because there were generally no survivors under Rashomon's sect.But it just so happened that Akutagawa made an agreement with others not to kill anyone for half a year, so Chief Mori simply made the best use of it.
When Akutagawa kicked the broken glass and jumped in through the window, the people inside were hastily packing their equipment and preparing to escape.Maybe they thought the eighteenth floor was a buffer zone enough for them to escape by the helicopter that arrived on the roof.
The sudden rupture of the window made these people feel the crisis. In an instant, violent gunshots rang out in the room, and the quick-reacting enemies had already launched their guns and fired wildly.No one cares about accidentally injuring friendly troops. After all, now is not the time to worry about the safety of ricochets and indoor gun battles.
But the bullets pushed out by the violent kinetic energy stayed halfway, and the impact brought by the strongest recoil still stayed in the shoulders and ribs, but the bullets all over the sky were displayed on the ripples that appeared out of thin air in the air like exhibits.
It's a supernatural being, and a very powerful supernatural being at that.When they recognized Akutagawa's iconic dress and face, everyone was in despair, and most of the muzzles were already hanging down weakly, welcoming their own fate that had already arrived.
It was very simple to capture the enemy. Rashomon poked his head out with claws and teeth, and quickly made everyone present lose their ability to resist like a child who had the opportunity to show off.
The battle time is extremely short and the cost is extremely low. Except for the damage caused by the enemy's crazy shooting when they first entered the house, the room even has the same layout and appearance as before.
Therefore, organizations including the port mafia have always liked to recruit supernatural beings, which are cheap, easy to use and powerful.
Akutagawa waited for a while before waiting for his panting subordinate to rush upstairs.In order to prevent anyone from escaping, the team members divided into two groups, all the way guarding the door, the elevator and the exit of the fire escape, and running up the stairs all the way to ensure nothing goes wrong.
The scene of people in black suits carrying a dozen or so unconscious people filed out attracted the crowd to watch from a distance, but everyone behaved well and did not take their mobile phones to avoid arousing suspicion.
Akutagawa stood alone far away, thinking about a problem. Today's task was completed to a very high degree, with impeccable timing and timing, and there was no problem with the participation and safety of his subordinates.
I feel itchy, I have made such great progress, I really want to show it to Mr. Dazai, maybe I can get a compliment.
Akutagawa, who seemed alone and beautiful, was actually thinking about how to escape from work, but before he could figure out a way, under the watchful eyes of everyone, a child who suddenly appeared rushed over and hugged his thigh, and yelled in a hoarse and affectionate voice, "dad!"
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