Akutagawa's Life as a Savior

My friend Odasaku is dead, because of my stupidity and credulity.

He once had a dream, dreaming of becoming a novelist, dreaming of creating characters with pens instead of taking lives with guns.But the dream was shattered, the children died, and Odasaku had to die too.

I can no longer continue to live like this, I need to go to the positive side of society, to the good side.

A person's past cannot be truly erased. After making a deal with the Supernatural Secret Service, I have the qualifications to be accepted.

I deliberately don't think about Akutagawa who was left behind by me, he is the only one who will suffer from my leaving.Zhong Ye will definitely celebrate happily, and may also feel a little melancholy. Mr. Mori must be a cat crying for a mouse.

I can't think of Akutagawa, it breaks my heart to think about him.

I regret it, I regret that I didn't treat him better at the beginning. Even if the ending can't be changed, at least the process is beautiful.I think what I left him is good enough to make him smile when he thinks about it.But it's too late now.

All I brought to him from the beginning to the end was darkness, he was crazy, he was violent, I left him, the guilt kept me awake at night, and I often woke up from nightmares in cold sweat.I only brought him disaster, never gave him anything good.I once said to him "Killing is your only value", why should I say such a thing?I know the power of words best, don't I?

How can someone like me deserve a lover?A dog's love is more precious than mine.

Akutagawa will not give up looking for me, even if he is regarded as a potential traitor by the port mafia.This is the kind of person he is, even if tens of thousands of people will go for it, even if the whole world opposes it, Akutagawa will follow the path he has chosen to the end.

And I'm such a despicable person, I won't let go of Akutagawa, even if that's the case, I'll hold him tight, I will never let him go to a future without me alone.

I stayed in the Supernatural Secret Service Division for two years, and after learning the lesson, I learned a lot this time.This world does not allow you to make mistakes. Survival is not easy, but a thing that needs to do your best.The Supernatural Secret Service Division provided me with a good platform, and I did a lot of things.I can't defeat all conspiracies and tricks, and kill all enemies who stand in my way. Only the strong have the confidence to do what they want to do. The way to survive for the weak like me is to use everything available.I can only weave a big net and bury my backhands all over the world.

Akutagawa has never given up looking for me. He is too thin, his face is tight and stubborn, and his eyes are hard, like a reef in the sea that has stood firm for thousands of years, no matter how the waves hit.He didn't see me, he stood there, forming a natural boundary with the world, his eyes habitually looked around, I knew he was looking for me.

My heart was sore and unbearable, and my eyes blinked involuntarily.He made himself into an iron stone to be calcined in the furnace fire.He has renounced almost all ties to other human beings in the world.

It turned out he wasn't like that.Even though I was mean to him, we still had some good times.

We once enjoyed the sunset by the river, and he stared at the phantom of the waves reflected in the water with a little surprise, his eyes were as clean as a child's, as if he had discovered the beauty of nature for the first time, intoxicated in the boundless twilight.I looked at him, as if seeing a flower blooming.

And now his eyes were hard stone, something that had struggled to come to life withered and died.

I dare not look at him, every look I see is an accusation against me.I didn't dare to see him either, for fear that there might be hatred for me in his eyes.

Maybe I'm more afraid that he doesn't hate me.

I saw him in my dream that night, it was him when we first met.The excitement in his eyes pierced my heart, the boy who was excited about his awakened feelings, the boy who was excited about being human.I see myself being shabby exploited, I see myself dimming the light in his eyes.I was distraught and defeated.

The love that I once treated with contempt was like a flood after the embankment broke. I almost wanted to kneel on the ground and beg it to forgive my contempt.Judgment will come at last, and my night and day are restless.

After two years in the Special Forces Division, I joined the Armed Detective Agency, which was my best choice.The power of the Armed Detective Agency is only used to save others.

I'm almost a good person now, and Ryunosuke was left in a dark place by me, relying on my obsession to earn a way out.

I watched him fight alone, I watched him trek in the deserted wilderness, I watched him ignite the wolf smoke of declaration.There is nothing in his eyes, my betrayal has burned his world to ashes.

He is the personification of my sin, the manifestation of my desires.

I didn't have the courage to appear in front of him, and I wasn't sure how he would look at me after he gave up his obsession.Until I found Atsushi Nakajima, I knew the time I had been waiting for had come.

Atsushi Nakajima is my carefully prepared partner and opponent for Akutagawa. From the moment I saw his profile, I had a vague premonition that he would be the one who complements and understands Akutagawa.I followed him for a long time and introduced him to Yokohama at the right time.

Sure enough, Akutagawa was ordered to arrest him. This is the time I have been preparing for a long time to play.Appearing in front of him at the most suitable time, the combined power of powerful abilities disappeared at my fingertips.see it?Your teacher will not let you down.

Seeing Akutagawa's eyes, I was instantly relieved, and the intense emotion ignited him all at once.Great, Ryunosuke, keep watching your teacher and come to where I am.

I carefully wrote the script, and Ryunosuke will gain the meaning of life he is looking for, friends who cherish each other, teachers who gradually recognize him, the respect brought by salvation, and the reason to wield weapons. His feelings will have a suitable sustenance, and he Your life will be wonderful and rich.

Who will be with him?Is it Atsushi Nakajima who share the same mind, have a tacit understanding, respect and recognize each other?Is it still Higuchi Ichiyo who loves and follows him wholeheartedly, is tenacious, tenacious, and indomitable?She understands things neither Akutagawa nor I do.But no matter who it is, they will definitely be able to give Ryunosuke the most complete happiness in the secular world.

One day he will let go of his past failures.

As for me, I am the teacher who gave him favors, a goal I want to surpass, a wise man worthy of respect, and a story with many past events.

I will always be in his life, neither far nor near, watching him gain happiness as a human being.

But the reality will always laugh at my innocence and stupidity. When I was relaxing, Ryunosuke broke away from my protection and went to an unknown place.I believe I was the first to find out about it, even though his first instinct upon his return was to find his sister.

This made me very angry and panicked. I can't accept losing Ryunosuke, even if I can only stand in a corner of his life from a distance in the future, I can't bear to lose this right.And what had happened to him certainly increased that possibility.

Who did he meet to make him let go of the past, what happened to him and he figured out all the past, what accident happened to him and he forgot everything in the past, and the most terrifying thing was that he would never come back.I met him once. Fortunately, time cannot take away Ryunosuke's feelings.

Later, when Ryunosuke was away, I sneaked into his room and tried to make a deal with the book, but the bargaining chips failed to impress the book at all. This was another mistake I made. I got the essence and purpose of the book wrong.

But I foolishly thought I still had a chance.Everything hasn't changed yet, and the appearance that I still have a chance to come back paralyzes me. I blindly think that nothing can change Ryunosuke's obsession. As long as his feelings for me remain unchanged, I will be invincible.

But I never expected that another me would overturn the chessboard.I know that I, the only possibility in the parallel world, strictly speaking, he is the common experimental subject of all Osamu Dazai, and we are all concerned about the feasibility of him saving Oda.

He is the only Osamu Dazai who let him go after seeing Akutagawa. We all suspect that he has a tendency to masochistic. Of course, it may be because he is more noble than us, and he wants to cut off the cause and effect of misfortune after knowing the ending.

The following link also confirmed that he belonged to the latter. After enduring two years of repressed and lonely life, he finally waited for the fateful day when he happily went to see Ryunosuke Akutagawa, but he was defeated at the first meeting, flustered He found an excuse to leave and took Akutagawa's sister with him.After returning, he hid in bed and cried all night.

This rambling and nonsense is because I don't want to tell the ending of this mistake. Osamu Dazai is a coward who just wants to escape. Is there a problem?

I refuse to recall the look in Akutagawa's eyes when he came to see me, he came to say goodbye, he was even a little sorry for me, even though he was greatly hurt, because the relationship died irretrievably.

I don't want to accept this ending, I refuse to accept the fact that this world where Ryunosuke was taken is real.

How could I accept that the most precious thing in this world, the thing I cherish the most, the treasure I hold in the palm of my hand and firmly guard in my heart, was smashed to pieces just because of my negligence?

Ryunosuke's feelings are the only meaning in this world. It is the sun hanging in the sky, which brings life to everything in the world.

It was killed by someone, and I know that it remained faithful to me until its death, but someone killed it cruelly and took its life away.

I do not accept!I don't agree!How could such an absurd and nonsensical world be correct!

I can't accept such a thing. He was still staring at me and crowning me with his feelings when we met a few hours ago, but now he wants me to accept the fact that his feelings for me are dead? !

This world needs to be corrected, I believe the book will agree with my words.I want to take Akutagawa Ryunosuke back, and the book will agree with me.Tens of thousands of parallel worlds will support my decision with their lives.