Don't spread rumors, who is your wife?

For Kan Ze, the series of changes with Ke Muxun were sudden. Being together and falling in love was something he longed for but did not dare to think about.Therefore, when everything was in front of him, he deliberately ignored some important details, pretending that he didn't know, as if it didn't happen and didn't exist.

But the problem will still exist, and even worse.

So when Kan Ze saw Ke Muxun's cell phone ringing across from him while eating, Ke Muxun picked up the cell phone and went to the side to answer the call, his mind was full of who was calling, was it the one named Shen Kai? ?Or someone else?

The hangover nausea suddenly came up, Kan Ze's stomach was still very empty, but he couldn't eat anything else.There may be someone else on the other side of the phone, it may be work, or it may be a simple friend.

However, to Kan Ze, who he is doesn't seem to matter that much, what matters is the existing problems, if not resolved, it may drive him crazy.

Qiao Zi and Father Ke didn't know where they went, and Kan Ze didn't see them when he got up.When Uncle Ke was not working, he would often take Aunt Qiao out to play. Sometimes the two of them went to the neighboring city, and sometimes they went to the nearby countryside.Ten years have been like a day, which is enviable.

Today's weather is good, Ke Muxun is standing by the big door and window, the blue sky is outside, pure blue like a canvas, without dark clouds, it is very suitable for going out to play.

After Ke Muxun answered the phone, he turned around and saw that Kan Ze was no longer eating, so he didn't think much about it. He walked over and sat next to him and touched Kan Ze to stop him from being dazed.

"Do you want to go out? You are still at home." Ke Muxun looked at Kan Ze and asked softly.

There is nothing wrong with these words, but thinking about the phone call just now, Kan Ze always felt that Ke Muxun's question was strange.

After a few seconds, Kan Ze shook his head lightly, "I'm not feeling well, I don't want to go out." Kan Ze's voice was not loud, and his emotions were not high.

Ke Muxun thought that Kan Ze was feeling unwell, and when he heard what Kan Ze said, he immediately said, "Okay, let's watch a movie at home."

Kan Ze also wondered if he was overly sensitive, but the feeling of worrying about gains and losses always lingered in his heart.

Ke Muxun dragged Kan Ze to the house on the other side of the yard. It was originally a small home theater, but Qiao Zi and Ke's father seldom came. A few years ago, Ke Muxun and Kan Ze often came.

It's just that almost no one has come here in the past few years. Fortunately, there are special people to clean and manage, so there is no big problem.

Ke Muxun pulled Kan Ze to sit down and asked what movie he wanted to watch.Kan Ze thought for a while and said, "Brokeback Mountain." Ke Muxun was stunned for two seconds before saying "OK."

"Brokeback Mountain" is a movie directed by Ang Lee.Adapted from the novel of the same name written by Annie Proulx.Kan Ze watched this movie once when he was in high school, but he watched it alone in his room.

With unease, with confusion, with some guilt and self-loathing.Same as Ennis, only, maybe braver than Ennis.

The movie tells the story of two men who fell in love in Wyoming, USA from 1963 to 1981. In 1963, Jack and Ennis met when they were looking for ranch work at the same time, and were later sent to Brokeback Mountain to graze together.

There are countless flocks of sheep, galloping horses, and two young people.Brokeback Mountain seems to have been injected with fresh blood, and it has also witnessed the appearance of love that can't be loved.

Jack and Ennis graze on Brokeback Mountain, an inaccessible mountain forest.In the beginning, the two grazing separately had little communication, and only one person could sleep in the small tent, and the other person could only sleep by the campfire outside the tent.Until one day, unexpectedly (the sky has eyes), it rained, and the night was extremely cold, so the two of them rested together in the tent.Of course, during the period, maybe it was because of drinking or because Brokeback Mountain was so deserted and lonely, the relationship between the two heated up.

After that, one person grazed, one person cooked, and then changed shifts, and spent that summer time.

It's just that the good times always pass.After the grazing work, Ennis married his childhood sweetheart, Alma, and ran around for his daughter and family every day.And Jack Jack became a Texas rodeo cowboy and married Bai Fumei Lulin.

Four years later, Jack, who couldn't bear to be in love, sent a card to Ennis, saying that he would pass through Wyoming for business, and hoped to meet him.

After the two met, the feelings that had been suppressed for four years finally broke out.In the following ten years, Jack would often drive to Wyoming happily.The two used an excuse to go fishing with their old friends.In the end, the emotional entanglement between the two was finally discovered by Ennis' wife Alma, who was disturbed and unbearable, and the two eventually went to divorce.

When Jack heard the news, he happily drove to Wyoming to find Ennis.But when Ennis learned that Alma knew he was gay, he no longer knew how to continue the relationship with Jack.

Later, one day Ennis received a call from Jack's wife, Llewellyn, who was told that Jack was dead.Like a bolt from the blue, Ennis's mind was full of Jack being beaten and kicked.It is unknown whether Jack's death was accidental as Lulling said, but Ennis' imagination shows his psychological shadow.Even the fear of being known to be gay, the fear of being tolerated by others.It is vividly reflected.

When Ennis went to Jack's parents' house hoping to get Jack's ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain, he saw the shirt in Jack's room when the two first met.

Finally realize how much Jack loves him, but this feeling of loving again can finally witness only the magnificent and gloomy Brokeback Mountain.

""Iswear....." imaginary wedding, button up the buttons for you, pat on the shoulder, tell you, I am willing."

Kan Ze not only watched this movie when he was in high school, but also when he was in college, and even in the past many years, he would close all the curtains and open this movie by himself; All the lights, and then just sit on the bed alone and turn on the projection.

This is a movie that Kan Ze can know where it is when he closes his eyes and listens to the dubbing. I don’t know why, every time in the past.

Kan Ze felt depressed and uncomfortable when he saw this movie, and maybe he also had some special feelings about homosexuality. He fell in love with Ke Muxun, and even had a relationship with Ke Muxun. He hated himself. of.

Because he knew that Ke Muxun originally liked girls, but after having sex with him, Ke Muxun only had boys among his various development partners.

Every time he sees Aunt Qiao and Uncle Ke treat him so well, Kan Ze will feel from the bottom of his heart that he is not worthy of their love, and will start to feel disgusted with himself.

The repressed emotions finally found a chance when he graduated from university. Kan Ze moved out of Ke's house and rented a house to live by himself.

At that time, Kan Ze no longer saw Aunt Qiao and Uncle Ke every day, and even deliberately reduced the number of times he went back to Ke's house.Kan Ze felt better about this matter, and no longer felt that he was unbearable and ungrateful.

However, Kan Ze emotionally betrayed the kindness of Aunt Qiao and Uncle Ke and the sustenance of family affection, and in the end he was not treated warmly by Ke Muxun.

Kan Ze sat on the sofa and watched Ke Muxun playing a movie. When the movie screen came out, Kan Ze watched Ke Muxun approaching him step by step, holding Coke and potato chips in his hand.

Behind him is the light of the movie. This man is really tall and has a good figure. Kan Ze can imagine the abdominal muscles under his shirt.

But, I don't know why, this time, there is no longer full of depression, and there is no longer constant condemnation of myself and endless sense of guilt.Perhaps these are still there, just suppressed by stronger feelings.

Kan Ze didn't know why when he first watched the movie, could it be because Ke Muxun was with him?So share a part.

However, when the movie played until Jack died, what Ennis saw was Jack being beaten, and when Ennis touched the bloody shirt in Jack's room and said "Iswear", Kan Ze suddenly felt that maybe It was because he knew deep down that the ending between him and Ke Muxun might not be much better than Ennis and Jack.

Perhaps, they are not destined to have a good ending. Even if they are together now, it will only be like Ennis and Jack's short period of time on Brokeback Mountain, maybe not as good as that period, maybe just, once or twice a year Jack's journey to find Ennis.

They will always separate.The ending will always be the same.

"I wish I knew how to quit you"

"Jack, Iswear"

When the movie was halfway through, Kan Ze's face was full of tears, but the whole person was very quiet.Ke Muxun focused on the movie and didn't notice the tears on Kan Ze's face. Kan Ze himself also deliberately concealed it. He didn't want Ke Muxun to see this side of himself.

With tears drying on his face, Kan Ze got up in the last few minutes of the movie and said he was going to the bathroom, and tidied up in the bathroom before coming out.

Ke Muxun is still the same as he watched "Callmebyyouname" with Kan Ze many years ago. After watching it, he was very quiet, didn't speak, and don't know what he was thinking.

Kan Ze didn't ask Ke Muxun how he felt, just like they didn't ask Ke Muxun after watching "Call Me By You Name" together. It's just that Kan Ze watched the movie for the first time, unlike today.

If you ask Kan Ze, on this day, when Ke Muxun is together, watching this "Brokeback Mountain" is not very easy for me, either psychologically or emotionally. Movies, do you have a little selfishness?

I think, if you really ask, maybe Kan Ze will smile, and then take a sip of wine, he will tell you, he told the wind, when you are blown by the wind today, if you ask, maybe the wind will tell you the answer.