Mo Dongyang

At night, the temperature drops sharply, and the autumn wind blows from time to time. In the coolness, people feel inexplicably sad, but thinking about this kind of thoughts, maybe only I can feel it.Seeing everyone around talking and laughing happily, with heavy makeup, smiling faces, and beautiful flowers, which is comparable to the lively atmosphere that emerged in the banquet hall, but they don't know that the whole court has already been enveloped by sorrow and love.

It's late autumn, but impetuousness and hustle and bustle forcefully cover the bleakness and coldness that this season should have, and there are artificial illusions everywhere, but it seems that most people prefer to live here, although the reality is only one step away from them away.

Thinking about the same thing with me back then, the naked, naked truth, boring, and emptiness in reality allowed me to join a fresher and more vivid world, where phantoms abound and materialistic desires flow freely, and I can sail smoothly here, Handy.Until the end, I found out that I would never get what I wanted there, instead I got deeper and deeper, until I hurt myself all over.

At that time, almost, I lost everything.But I did not continue to stay here like others, taking back what was taken away bit by bit.

Because what I really wanted, I never got it in the first place.

It may be that I saw the skin of this palace city earlier and faster than others, so I chose to quit early and return to another more simple and real life, where there is indeed nothing, boring and boring. Boring, but right there I found peace and authenticity like never before.Although it is very different from the previous life, I still let go of everything and lived there for many years, until today.

All the things I experienced when I was young made me believe that fate makes people, and if I believe in fate, I must have committed too many sins in my previous life.Human labor can never compare to destiny, I chose not to force it.

Fortunately, God didn't intend to make it difficult for me anymore. After more than ten years, I was able to meet another little girl in this cold harem courtyard. After getting along with each other these days, I feel as if I have returned to the girl I was when I was young. Impulsive, ignorant self.I can't remember when the feeling of throbbing for the second time came up quietly.But this feeling became more and more intense, and sometimes I couldn't restrain myself. I could only tell myself over and over again that she was just a child, and she didn't need to know these things, and she didn't need to know, so the two of them lived quietly, Until death, there will be no regrets in this life.

The bitter fruit of my youth made me dare not force it anymore. In fact, my life now is a paradise.

Now, I always silently pray to heaven in the middle of the night from time to time, so that such peaceful and sweet days will continue endlessly, without waves or obstacles, until she and I both die in the palace, this is me The greatest happiness in this life.

The successive screams in the banquet were loud and piercing, and I couldn't help but wake up from my thoughts, but I was in a trance. When I woke up again, there was another world in front of me.

On the grand stage in the distance, the gorgeous and singing group dancers were replaced at some point, replaced by a group of acrobatics from the Western Regions. Foreigners with bronze-drum-colored skin roughly smeared gold powder on their robust bodies, holding Walking on a high-altitude thin line with a long iron rod, looking up from a distance, it looks like a group of golden spheres rolling tremblingly in the night sky.

Waves of applause, exclamation, and applause around the sky have long since disappeared above the night sky, and the fireworks are violently exploding.

The banquet has already arrived, but I still don't feel the slightest interest, why did Qi Xin go for so long, and missed this wonderful performance, maybe she will never meet again in this life.

When she came back, would she feel sorry for it, muttered, lowered her eyebrows and told me that she should have come back earlier.

Do I have to think of a way to compensate her well.

Looking at every face at the banquet that looked up, the delicate faces were full of concentrated, nervous, and excited expressions. The light and shadow of the gorgeous fireworks left mottled traces one after another, which were fleeting.

It's so beautiful, I suddenly laughed, wondering if Qi Xin would have the same expression if she was here.

Laughing, when I realized that I was showing an undisguised smile in such a noisy and grand meeting place, my heart suddenly trembled randomly at that moment, and my hands had already involuntarily climbed on my slightly hot cheeks. How many years , I have never smiled like this before, and the naturally raised lines at the corners of my mouth made me flustered.This feeling has been buried for more than ten years. I thought that I would never have such a heartfelt smile in this life, but today, more than ten years later, it came suddenly again, which made me unprepared. I feel Inexplicable fear.

The past more than ten years ago is like a steaming cloud, slowly rising from the bottom of my heart, vivid in my mind, covering everything, but I don't want to lose this feeling, although I know it will make me like a man who takes opium, Repeat the same mistakes in the wrong things, there is no retreat, but I know that I am still willing.

The hustle and bustle at the venue made me irritated, and the aftershocks in my heart still made my scalp tingle. I had to get up and leave temporarily. Maybe it was the noise at the banquet venue, and the dirty air made me feel chest tight and short of breath. Find a quiet place to wake up After a while, maybe it will return to normal, I comfort myself.

On the low hill just one wall away from the banquet hall, I finally found a quiet place, because this place is located behind the banquet stage, and the noisy sound cannot be clearly transmitted here.I stood beside the man-made small bridge and flowing water scenery, looked up at the misty crescent moon in the night, and there were round after round of endless fireworks.

The autumn wind is blowing slowly, and the coolness of late autumn seeps through my thin clothes. I feel a little trembling, but I still don’t want to leave. The air around me is very clean. After breathing quietly, the irritability in my heart was finally swept away. But the past more than ten years ago is still lingering in my heart, lingering.

The new moon is in the sky, and the sadness of the autumn may not be what I want. It is human nature to be emotional because of the situation. I don’t have to be so sad. Many things, time will pass by. Just like now, I found that the past was revealed again The wound, my heart is no longer as painful as before, I should let it go.

It's time to go back, I couldn't help laughing at myself, why being alone here only adds to the sadness, obviously there is someone there waiting for you to go back at this moment, that is something I can really touch.

Qi Xin should wait anxiously.

I couldn't help raising the corners of my mouth, ready to turn around and leave.

"Quinosu."

A familiar yet unfamiliar voice came from afar the moment I wanted to turn around.I feel that the person behind me is like an old friend, but the inexplicable resistance in my heart makes me not want to think of this person.

Perhaps, I have already guessed who he is.

I don’t know when the cold autumn wind came up again, and it sprinkled dense coolness on my body again and again. My body was already extremely stiff, and I regretted countless times in my heart. Why didn’t I just sit in the venue, but ran here and suffered for myself.My fist has been clenched tightly by me, and I know I have to turn back again.

"Your Majesty, long live, long live, long live."

I knelt by the side of the plank road, bowed my head humbly, and waited for that noble man to do anything, because I couldn't refuse.

In the shadow of the willow tree, the person who walked out slowly, I have nothing but hatred and dislike for him in this life.

"Did you live well these years?" The man came across and bent down to help me up.

"Very good, the emperor actually remembers the name of the concubine, so many years have passed."

I sighed, and used the smile from more than ten years ago to cover up the clear alienation and disgust on my face before I looked up.

After many years, how should I smile and what expression should I make for the person in front of me, and now I realize that I am not unfamiliar, and even more mature than myself ten years ago.

After all, I have been in the palace for some years, and before I knew it, the palace had already turned me into the kind of person I despise the most.

"You still haven't changed. What you looked like when you were with Xiao is what you look like now, but in the past ten years, I have grown old."

He reached out to touch my face, but he quickly turned his head away, and closed his eyes to hide the discomfort and disgust in his eyes.

"Are you still blaming me?"

The heavy sighs in front of me made me feel that the noble man in front of me was really old, because it was impossible for him to sigh like this before.I had to raise my head to look at him, and saw his pale blue face, sunken eyes, and thin skin as before, but his eyes were more cloudy, and his face was covered with many fine spots.

More than ten years have passed, and he is indeed old.

"The emperor still can't let her go."

"I can't let you go either."

"The concubine is just an accessory of hers. Perhaps, if the concubine hadn't intervened at that time, the emperor could have her as he wished, instead of seeking her shadow from me like now."

"After all these years, you are still blaming me."

"Chen and concubine dare not."

"There are so many people coming and going around me, and only you dare to talk to me like this."

"A concubine can't compare to her."

"Do you still hate Xiao?"

"Never hated."

"What about me?"

"The concubine is exhausted. If the emperor has nothing to do, the concubine will leave here."

I have been so rude, the man in front of me is not angry, but smiles up to the sky, let me vaguely see what he looked like more than ten years ago, suddenly I realized something, my heart suddenly stopped, and a panic hit my face Coming, I let his dry hands frivolously caress the skin of my face, ear tips, jaw and neck without any resistance.He waved his hand in satisfaction, and two figures flashed quickly in the distant woods, walking towards this side with long lamps on.

Tears finally came down, hot and bitter, dripping down my chin, soaking the clothes on my chest, I stared blankly at the blurred back in the distance, unable to regain my senses for a long time.

I still lose, and he will still come to me.

Between the lines of my indifference, he saw me more than ten years ago, when I was with Xiao.

Xiao, he still couldn't forget.

We are so similar, but I hate him.