Mo Dongyang

On the afternoon of October [-]th, as usual, I sat in Zhang Lei's hut with nothing to do and waited for Zhang Lei's return.

In recent months, Zhang Lei has been extremely busy with his official duties. From October to now, I have only seen him three times.And I don't know if he will be able to find time to visit me today.However, near dusk, Zhang Lei finally came.

He rushed back in a hurry, and before he even had time to take off his blood-stained war robe, he took my hand and sat down hastily.

"Qi Xin, tidy up tomorrow, someone will take you out of the palace the day after tomorrow." He anxiously poured down several bowls of tea and said.

"Leaving the palace?" I couldn't help being shocked.

"That's right, the enemy country has broken through the Maoshan Pass, and they will be able to surround the capital in a few days without going out of the palace. Why don't they stay here to die!" Zhang Lei explained.

"However, the emperor hasn't left yet, how could we people leave?" I couldn't help being curious.

"You think the emperor is still waiting to die in the palace. The one sitting on the dragon chair is a fake emperor. The real emperor took the empress and fled south in early October. Do you still remember that in mid-October you Those eunuchs who broke into the Nantian Gate at night, the eunuchs in the Tai'an Palace knew in private that the emperor had abandoned the city and fled, so a few bold eunuchs instigated other eunuchs from other palaces, oh, including People from the Zhilan Palace fled together with their belongings, but the Ministry of Internal Affairs actually covered up the matter with the crime of theft, and even silenced all the palace officials who knew about it. It really kills two birds with one stone. , but the people are still kept in the dark." Zhang Lei lamented from the side.

"Fu Lu died so unexplainably!" I was shocked by the truth again.

"By the way, you keep this waist card away, and someone will check it when you leave the palace later in the day."

He took out a delicate jade tablet from his pocket and stuffed it into my hand.

"What about yours?" I asked subconsciously looking at the exquisitely carved jade plaque in my hand.

"Listen to me, this waist card was given by the emperor. Now the entire palace has been sealed off in order to stabilize people's hearts. Only a small number of people in the palace who hold the waist card can leave the palace, so you must hold this waist card in the next night." It will be too late for the cards to come out of the palace."

Zhang Lei broke my shoulder, looked at me seriously and told me the seriousness of the matter.

"You want me to leave the palace alone!"

I haven't recovered from Fulu's death yet, I stared at Zhang Lei, and it took me a long time to understand what Zhang Lei meant.

"You see, there is only one waist card, and I am the commander of the imperial palace. I cannot leave my post when the enemy is in front of me. You go out of the palace first, and someone will meet you when you go out. When the time comes, after the enemy army breaks through the capital, you wait For three days, I swear I will definitely find you."

Zhang Lei held me in his arms and patiently persuaded me.

But, I still cried.

"You are trapped in the capital alone, and there are so many people crowded in the capital wielding knives and guns, what if you can't get out, what if I can't wait for you!"

I lay in his arms and cried trembling because of all the bad endings I could imagine.

"Qi Xin, look, my father is the Northwest King, and he dedicated his whole life to this country. As the son of my Northwest King, I cannot abandon this country in an unjust place, do you understand?" He wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes distressedly and comforted me.

"But didn't you say that this country exists in name only?" I sobbed.

"But it still exists, doesn't it? Don't worry, I swear I will find you. Don't worry, okay?"

He sighed and hugged me tightly in his arms.

I hugged Lei Lei nervously and stopped talking.

That night, I lay on the bed tossing and turning, and stayed up all night. The jade plaque in my hand was already hot from my clutches, but I still didn’t dare to let it go. In my heart, it was more precious than a diamond, even if it was infinite It is expensive, and I am even more afraid that once I let go, this piece of jade will disappear.

I think that since God has seen that I have met my long-standing expectations and given me this chance that there will be no second chance, why don’t I cherish it, even if I use my life’s freedom in exchange for it, even if I bet my life’s life , I am also willing.

Early the next morning, I couldn't wait to rush to Zhilan Hall, the way back was still familiar, those gardens, woods, stone bridges, flower beds by the roadside, broken potted plants, faded red walls and green tiles, they still stood in place , It's just that the surrounding seasons have changed, the scenery has changed, and I have long since lost my original state of mind.

October 31st, the last day of October, I think whether it is the passing of the years, the memories of my youth are no longer vivid, or my memory is fading with the growth of the rings, I will still clearly remember the last time I stood in Zhilan Looking up at the gate of the temple, the long and narrow sky is gray and gloomy. There are no clouds or the sun. There is only a lone goose whining past in the high sky without leaving a trace.

It's late autumn, why doesn't this goose follow the geese to spend the winter in the south, once the winter comes, it will die of hunger and cold.Whether the geese don't want to follow the geese, or the geese don't want it, no one knows.

The Zhilan Temple is still the same, and the few baskets of bird's nests piled up with dead branches three years ago are still hanging on the bare branches beside the stone mountain. They are just birds in spring, and they have already flown away in autumn.I walked through the main courtyard with ease, and went to Li Shu's bedroom. There were only a few sporadic palace servants in the courtyard who were sprinkling water and sweeping the floor. They were all unfamiliar faces. A maid from Xinzheku broke into the palace without warning, and hurried to her master's bedroom, but no one even thought of coming over to stop me, a stranger.

It wasn't until I walked up the stairs of the sleeping hall that a palace lady hurried out from afar and called me to stop.

"Who are you, you are so unruly, you are the servants of Zhilan Palace who can come in!" She insulted out of breath.

"I'm looking for your master."

After all, I used to be a member of Zhilan Hall, and I didn't want to embarrass that maid, so I walked down the steps and explained to her calmly.

"You, Xin Zheku's servant, how can you find my master, hurry up, get lost wherever you come from!" The maid's tone was very rough.

"Let Bi Ling come out, she recognizes me." I frowned, and didn't want to talk nonsense with her.

"I'm the head of Zhilan Palace, Biling is long gone." She urged me impatiently.

"Where did she go!" I was shocked.

"She stole Master Yan's jewelry and was taken away by the people from the House of Internal Affairs."

She waved her hand and pointed to the gate of Zhilan Hall to signal me to go out.

I got another shocking news. I didn't realize until now that in just three months, I, A Xing, Fu Lu, and even Bi Ling are gone.In just three months, when I returned to Zhilan Palace again, I found that I couldn't find a palace official I knew.In just three months, all the viscera and six internal organs of Zhilan Palace were replaced, leaving only a fake skin. In just three months, personnel changes and nothing was left.

The maid saw that I was inexplicably frozen in place, not moving, so she angrily pushed me forward.

"If you don't leave, I'll ask the people from the Ministry of Internal Affairs to take you away too, get out!" She threatened, pulling my arm.

I was hurt by her, and I couldn't bear it anymore, I pushed her to the ground, turned around and ran up the stairs, pushed open the door of the bedroom, and went straight to the study on the second floor.

Sure enough, Quinoa was there.

The thin figure next to the Xichuang book table is the outline that I will never forget even if I drink Mengpo soup, no matter how many times I reincarnate.With her head lowered, she carefully read a book in her hand, and the few strands of black hair in her ears were scattered inadvertently, which made her feel indescribably lazy and peaceful, and there was nothing wrong with frowning her brows slightly. But the bloodless cheeks made her more haggard and sick. My heart twitched fiercely, resisting the urge to rush up and hug her tightly, and just stared blankly at her, the person who looked at her, Her posture, her subtle movements, her expression, every detail of her face, I even cursed the palace maid who put the incense burner next to the desk in my heart, because the curling smoke smothered her body. The profile of the face became flickering, indistinct.I can't see her expression clearly at this moment, but I cherish this hard-won short moment even more, watching her greedily and unabashedly, I want to engrave her appearance deeply in my mind at this moment, Because this is my last chance in this life.

"This Xinzheku palace man broke into the palace for no reason and said he wanted to see you, but the slaves couldn't stop him."

The palace maid who followed hurriedly knelt down and explained.

"You go down first."

Li Shu didn't raise his head, the palace man couldn't say anything more when he saw this, so he had to turn around and leave.

Li Shu and I were the only ones left in the hall, and the surroundings became calm.I watched Li Shu sitting there, looking down at the book, the familiar movements and scenes made me think that I was still Qi Xin who stayed in Zhilan Hall three months ago, but the rough palace clothes on her soon Just made me realize this is all an illusion.

"What's up?"

Li Shu finally asked, there were only three words, but she still didn't look up.

It wasn't until Li Shu's voice sounded that I realized that I had been looking at her absently since entering the room. When I came back to my senses, I realized that the surrounding air had become very awkward. I suddenly didn't know what to say rise.

"If it's okay, you can go."

Li Shu saw that I had been silent, so she opened her mouth to see off the guests.

"I know Master Yan doesn't want to see me, and I won't waste Master Yan's precious time, I'll leave after I finish speaking!"

I took a deep breath, forced my heart that was about to jump out of my throat, stepped forward and took out the jade tablet in my arms and put it on Li Shu's table.

Li Shu didn't expect my sudden and reckless behavior, she couldn't help but looked up and looked at me with some surprise.

Finally she was willing to look up at me, and I finally saw the face that made me think about it day and night. Although I deliberately ignored the strangeness and indifference on her face, I still felt that I was stabbed hard A few knives.

Even if she doesn't want to recognize me, I can still see her, right? I should be content.

"The enemy army will break through the capital in a few days, and the palace will not be able to keep it. Master Yan can take this plaque out of the palace tomorrow night, and someone will meet you after you leave the palace."

My voice trembled a little, my right hand tightly clenched my trembling left hand hidden behind me, and I briefly explained the course of the incident.

"Where did you get the news, there is no movement in the palace at all."

Lishu didn't believe me, but lowered her head and continued reading.

"The emperor has fled long ago. Only a few people with waist cards can leave the entire palace. If you don't leave, why don't you stay here to be buried with you!"

I was deeply irritated by Li Shu's senseless attitude, I tore off the book in front of Li Shu and yelled at her.

"So, this waist card was given to you by Zhang Lei?"

She looked up at me sarcastically.The expression on her face was extremely rusty and stiff, the slightly raised eyebrows and the raised corners of her mouth were full of sarcasm, making her look so dazzling.

"Yes, he gave it to me."

I took a deep breath to suppress the inexplicable anger in my heart.

"He gave me the only chance to go out of the palace, and now I'm giving you this chance!"

"Since he gave it to you, then I have no reason to accept this waist card, you can take it."

Li Shu shook her head and sneered, she got up and left the seat, implying to let me leave.

"Lishu!" I yelled at her.

"Yes, I admit that I'm sorry for you, but you don't need to use such an indifferent attitude to retaliate against me. I'm taking my own life in exchange for your freedom!"

"Don't forget, I never asked you to do any of these things."

Li Shu stopped, but she still refused to turn back coldly.

In that sentence, I couldn't find a trace of old feelings, it was blank and desolate, as if all the strength in my body had been drained, and I couldn't support the weight of my whole body for an instant, and I slumped on the ground absent-mindedly.

Li Shu still refuses to forgive me

"Lishu doesn't care about her own life, but I care about Lishu's life!"

I knelt down on the ground with no image, covering my face and weeping bitterly.

Li Shu's back seemed shocked, but soon became alienated and unfamiliar.

"I don't need you to care."

She spoke so calmly, without any emotion, as if I was just a passer-by to her.

"Lishu, maybe you don't remember what I said to you one night, now I'll say it again!"

I smiled wryly and wiped away my tears and stood up and said.

Originally thought that if she put the badge in front of Li Shu, she would leave.But now it seems that if I don't force me to tell the truth, she won't leave.

I never thought of telling Li Shu about these things, I just wanted to bury these things firmly in a corner of my heart, and when I was old or dying, I could dig it out and look back This is a memorable past.In this way, I will die without regrets, because in my life of mediocrity, I have done such a thing worthy of my pride.

But now if I don't say these things, she will never leave.

"I said, 'Li Shu, one day you will step out of the palace, and anything is possible.', Li Shu's greatest wish is to leave the palace, I always remember, now I help you realize, the waist card I It’s also placed here, leaving the palace can only be decided by Li Shu, and I can’t force it.”

Finally I spoke out.

As expected, Li Shu finally turned around, and the shock, panic, and bewilderment on her face, I think I will remember it in my life.

"If Lishu doesn't like me, it's okay, I won't disturb your life in the future."

This should be the last sentence he said to Li Shu in this life.

I finally finished the task, but I couldn't hide the wanton loneliness in my heart. I took a deep breath of the familiar orchid fragrance that surrounded me, and left in a hurry.

I know that Li Shu will leave tomorrow, because this is the wish she has always dreamed of but can't realize at all, and she must be worthy of my long-term painstaking efforts.

That afternoon, I told Zhang Lei that I gave up the chance to leave the palace.I said that I didn't want to wait outside the palace alone in fear. If I wanted to leave the palace, I would leave the palace together, and if I wanted to stay, I would stay together.

In this way, I can accompany Zhang Lei in the palace, and I can repay everything Li Shu gave me, so even if I die in the future, I will die without regret.

"It's fine to stay, at worst, we will die together."

Zhang Lei sighed, hugged me and joked.

"Tomorrow night, please don't leave, I want to be your wife."

I put my arms around his neck and told him.

"But I said that I want to marry you into the house with three matches and five looks. How can it be counted in that house."

He frowned involuntarily, wanting to reject me.

"Drink a cup of wine, and I will become your wife. I am afraid that you will not want me after I leave the palace."

I reached out and smoothed his furrowed brows, jokingly.

In fact, I was afraid that the two of us would not be able to get out at all, but I dared not say it.

"Okay, when the time comes, Xiaosheng, I will definitely come to visit my lady in a red robe!" He couldn't help laughing out loud.

I couldn't help smiling, and stopped talking, I knew he agreed.