Mo Dongyang

On November 12, [-], the first heavy snow fell in the capital city of this year. The snowflakes fluttered all over the sky from early morning to three o'clock in the afternoon. The whole imperial city was covered with thick snow everywhere. with shovels, to make way for their respective palaces.That afternoon, I moved almost all my luggage from Xinzhekuku into Zhang Lei's hut, and used the little red paper and red cloth left to decorate the room as much as possible like a new house.

I don't know what the upcoming disaster in the country will bring me, but I have already prepared for the worst. For the unknown future, I can't control my own destiny, and I can only live in the only thing left that I can control. In the past few days, do something for Zhang Lei, because he has no knowledge of what I have done.

At dusk, heavy snow fell again in the pale gray sky, and the light orange sunset hangs weakly at the end of the west of the city. In the world engulfed by snow, I want to struggle but I can't do anything.

At eight o'clock in the evening, Zhang Lei came. He took off his cloak covered in snow particles, revealing a red robe.

"I brought my daughter Hong." He said with a smile.

This is a very simple ceremony. We only worshiped the heaven and earth, and the husband and wife. There was no master of ceremonies, no parents of both parties, no banquet, and even no red head covering.Perhaps the only thing that looked festive were the red outfits on both sides.

Zhang Lei got two glasses of wine at the table, and he said that after drinking this glass of wine, Zhang Lei and Qi Xin would be husband and wife for life.

People say that drinking a glass of wine at a wedding is the sweetest, but what I drank in one gulp was full of bitterness.We can't see the future, we can't guarantee each other, and when the country is ruined and the family is in ruins, a glass of wine cannot quench each other's worries about the unknown.After finishing the glass of wine, we smiled at each other knowingly, I saw the concern and anxiety in his eyes, and he also understood mine, but we all pretended nothing happened.

"Leaving the capital, where are we going?"

I lay in his arms, trying to change the sad atmosphere at this moment.

"Wherever Qi Xin said to go, I will go there?" Zhang Lei smiled.

"I don't want it, I want you to take me with you." I said coquettishly.

"Okay, then I'll take you to a place close to the sea and buy a big yard there, with a two-story building inside. You can see the sea every day, blowing the sea breeze, and the bamboo poles in the yard are full of dried fish and vegetables." Shrimp, there is always a fresh salty smell in the air, which is the smell of the sea. Then Qi Xin gave birth to several big fat sons for me."

Zhang Lei hugged me and talked about his vision for the future.

"Why didn't you have a daughter?"

I felt a little sleepy, but I couldn't help but interrupt him.

"Yes, yes, Qi Xin gave birth to several fat sons and daughters for me. During the day, I took them to go fishing, practice martial arts and play, and at night you taught them how to read and write. I make money by fishing. I want to use the money I earn to buy you jewelry, rouge, clothes, and make you the envy of men all over the world. I also want to buy toys and books for the children..."

Zhang Lei gently shook me in his arms, and described in detail a future that I never expected.

"Why do I feel that you want to keep me at home like a pig?"

I closed my eyes sleepily and joked in a low voice.

"How could it be, this is called Jinwu Zangjiao!"

Zhang Lei couldn't help pinching my nose.

"When we are old and gray-haired, we will sit in the yard and take care of our grandchildren. I will teach them how to fish and practice martial arts, and you will teach them how to read and write. Every evening at dusk, I will take you to the beach to watch the sunset. If you can't go If you move, I will carry you on my back..."

My head is in chaos, I want to open my heavy eyelids, I want to continue to listen to Zhang Lei describe our future home, but Zhang Lei's voice is getting weaker and more blurred.

Until I couldn't hear anything, I gave up struggling and fell asleep in Zhang Lei's arms.

Li Shu, you should be out of the city at this time, this is your second time out of the palace, but this time you will not come back.

There is nothing in the capital that is worthy of your nostalgia. You have devoted all your youth to it, but you have never understood it from the beginning to the end. You even left before you could see the whole picture of this resplendent capital. But it left you with too many painful memories: the pain that cannot be wiped away, the intrigue in the harem, the emperor's prejudice, the betrayal of close relatives and friends again and again, more than ten years of empty window career, the palace people The passing away of your life has marked your life with one failure after another.

I know that of all people, I hurt you the most.But if fate gives me another chance to start over, I think I will choose to betray you again without hesitation, because only in this way can you have a chance to leave the palace.

You don't belong to the capital, you don't belong to the palace, you only belong to yourself, so you have to go out and find your own world.

Lishu, maybe even you don't know that you have been tortured by this eccentric palace and lost your original self.From when I first entered Zhilan Palace to when I left, I have been standing by your side watching your changes for the past three years, getting to know you little by little.The so-called authorities are obsessed, but bystanders are clear. Even if you are used to wrapping yourself up and hiding yourself layer by layer, I am still the person who knows you best. I watch your cry, watch your smile, and know your thoughts and temperament. Have a temper.

I also know that because of Concubine Xiao Gui more than ten years ago, you have been blaming yourself and brooding all the time, you can no longer trust the people around you, you have become melancholy and heartless, and you have sealed yourself in the Zhilan Palace for more than ten years.But until I appeared, I found that you have gradually changed, you are no longer taciturn, rejecting people thousands of miles away, you can joke with me, you can teach me to write, you can hold my hand to keep me warm, even you Can share the same bed with me.

I never thought that you could accept me. I am just a little maid from an unknown village. I even stole the official registration that can prove my identity. I stole other people's names. Pretending to be someone else, everything I got today was stolen from me.Before I became a court lady, I was just a beggar fleeing north, I was nothing.But you are willing to pay for me, and it is the kind of dedication that will never turn back and give nothing in return. This flatters me, who has low self-esteem, and I don't even know how to describe the gratitude in my heart.

You say you are a dirty person, but no matter what you do, you are the cleanest in my eyes.

I know that you are the kind of slow-moving person, it is difficult for you to accept a person in your heart, but once you agree with that person, you will do your best to treat her well.Otherwise, you would not have been pampering Concubine Xiao all the time, allowing her to use you to ascend to the throne step by step, until she destroyed your child, and you had no choice but to fight back.

It's the same for me, you are the same, you spoil me, you spoil me, you consider everything for me.In this hierarchical palace, it was you who made me feel no longer a lowly servant.Even if you want to move out of Zhilan Hall, you have to ask me yourself.And your carefulness and thoughtfulness have made me unable to repay you in this life.So when I hear that you want to go out of the palace again and again, I swear that I will help you realize this almost impossible wish no matter what.Even I would betray you in exchange for this opportunity, and you were completely kept in the dark.

I spent a year fighting for your right to leave the palace, but God paid off, I did it.But any success has a price, because you don't believe that I will betray you.Shock, disappointment, and anger made you have to give up on me. In the end, you still shrank back into the shell that you had guarded against for more than ten years.

You may be puzzled, you may be confused, because you can't think of why I have to sacrifice myself to fulfill you.To be honest, I don't know why I can be so willing, even in the end I realize that you will hate me, you will hate me, and you will never forgive me for the rest of your life, but I am still willing to give without hesitation.Not only because of your recognition of me and your thoughtfulness and care, but also because I care about you, I care about all your emotions, I will be happy when you are happy, and I will be unhappy when you are unhappy, But I still hope that you can live happily every day, instead of being overwhelmed by this ruthless palace all day long.I don't know where this care comes from, but I know that from the moment I saw you, I was attracted to you, I couldn't control myself, I couldn't help but want to be nice to you.

Do you still remember what I said before, if possible, the two of us can leave the palace together and settle down in a small border town in the southwest.You say I'm daydreaming.But it may be because I think about it day by day, I really have dreamed about it.

I dreamed that the two of us were walking hand in hand in a small town in the southwest. We had a yard next to the stream in the bamboo forest. No one knew us here, and the people who lived here even smiled and blessed us.You know, this dream is so beautiful that I can't stop craving it.But when I woke up, I found that the pillow cover under my head was soaked with tears.

It turned out that in my dream I knew that I would never reach that lovely southwestern border town.

Fortunately, you are out of the palace, and you have the opportunity to enjoy the wonderful life there.I think as long as you fulfill your wish and reach the place you dream of, even if I can't go, it doesn't matter.I don't regret what I've done, because a filthy person like me doesn't deserve what you've done for me.

In your thirty years of life, your family has failed you, the emperor has failed you, Concubine Xiao has failed you, I have failed you, the palace has failed you, the capital has failed you, in the end it seems that everyone has failed you Scars, big or small, were left on my body, and the one I cut was the deepest and most painful.

I will never beg you to forgive me in this life, I only hope that you can find your own belonging in the southwest border you have longed for, live the life you want, forget the past, forget the sad place of the palace, and live forever Don't step into the capital again.

Li Shu, as long as you are safe in this life, I can rest in peace even when I die.

At 12 o'clock in the evening on November [-], [-], a carriage waiting at the Nantian Gate of the Imperial Palace finally set off. Under the cover of the vast white snow, it shuttled silently on the quiet avenue of the capital, and passed by the Nancheng Gate. After the interrogation stopped, he drove south without stopping.

In the early morning of November 12, [-], the capital was surrounded by enemy troops.

From November 12th to 30th in the [-]th year of Jiahe, the enemy army massacred the city for seven days, and no one in the capital was spared. Nearly [-] corpses were buried in a huge pit tens of meters away on the outskirts of the eastern city.

On January 13, [-]th year of Jiahe, the Kingdom of Yu officially declared its demise, and the northern allies changed their country name to Yukui, and their year name to Sheng'an.

Since then, the Kingdom of Qi has ceased to exist.

(End of Volume [-])

The author has something to say: the first volume is finally finished, and the next volume will be unfolded from the perspective of Li Shu, and more characters will be added. Everyone will also know Li Shu’s previous stories. Li Shu is in the palace, and many Everything is involuntary, and things have developed to the present, and many of them are due to her personality and experience...

The next volume still needs time to be conceived and completed. I will not update the text for the time being. The next volume will probably take many months. Please forgive me. For those who like sunrise, please leave a lot of comments and talk about this The view of the volume, the next volume, this article will be improved.