back to 20 years old

In the past two days, I have been thinking about Tomoko, wondering if I am too cruel, I am not sure if my decision is correct, or should I fulfill them?

She said she wants me to leave Haoran, as long as I leave, she can start over with Haoran.As long as I leave, they will be the same as before.As long as I leave, they can go back to 8 years ago.As long as I leave, everything will return to its original appearance!As long as I leave, as long as the words I leave surround my mind, should I really leave?

Haoran called me at noon and asked what I was doing?

"Just after class, I'm going to eat. How about you, are you coming to school today?"

"I'm not going to school today, I'll get the bus ticket later."

"ticket?"

"En! Our train tickets."

I've been so busy with exams and revision these days that I forgot about the train ticket. "The two of us?"

"Yes, the train ticket back to Beijing with you."

"Why do you want to accompany me? I can go back by myself!"

"How can you do it yourself, you are a little sloppy, have you forgotten?"

"You're the one. I do it myself every year."

"It won't work after you follow me. How lonely are you without me on the road?"

"cut."

Hehe "It's okay, let's go back to Beijing together next Saturday."

In fact, I was already happy in my heart, but I still said tepidly, "Oh! Okay!"

I am very happy, she will go back to Beijing with me, and go home with me, which means that she is willing to let go of Tomoko and stay with me, what is certain is that the person she likes is me.My decision is not wrong, I will face it with her and stay by her side.

Haoran continued to ask me, "Will you come to the dinner tonight?"

"What dinner party?"

"I said you are a little sloppy. I told you a long time ago. The staff at the bar will have dinner together tonight. Last time I asked you, you were talking about it when you said it. Did you forget?"

"I really forgot, I won't go, I don't know them very well, besides, there is an exam tomorrow."

"Really? Don't you think about it? You can eat barbecue at night! Are you really not coming, you little carnivorous sloppy?"

I thought about it again, struggled with my thoughts for a long time, and finally made up my mind, "I still don't want to go. The exam tomorrow is very important."

"Okay then, study hard today." After hanging up Haoran's phone, he ran to the cafeteria in a good mood to have dinner with Zhang Jingxiaoxiao and the others.

After the exam the next afternoon, Xiaoxiao sat listlessly on the steps in front of the library.

"What's the matter, Xiaoxiao, did you fail the exam just now? Why are you so listless?" I handed a cup of milk tea to Xiaoxiao.

"It's nothing."

"Nothing? It's nothing you are so sad, come and listen."

"Where do you think people go when they die?"

I almost choked on the milk tea I just took a sip of, "What are you doing? Why are you thinking about such a profound question?"

"Have you ever thought about suicide?"

"Suicide? Don't scare me! Have you quarreled with the big V?" I looked at Xiaoxiao worriedly, and suddenly felt that her face was very ugly now, "Are you sick?"

"They said they wouldn't let me tell you, but Shen Yue, I think you should know better."

I nodded and looked at Xiaoxiao nervously.

"Yesterday, after we had dinner together last night, when we got home and were about to go to bed, we received a call from Tomoko, she cut her wrist and committed suicide."

"what?"

"You don't believe it. I did the same at the beginning, and I didn't believe it either. But when we went to the hospital last night and saw Tomoko in the intensive care unit, I realized that she had severe depression."

"And now, how is she doing now?"

"It's all right now. Big V just called and said that she has been transferred to the general hospital. Shenyue!" Xiaoxiao leaned her head on my shoulder, "If she really died, what would you do?"

"Us?" I didn't continue.

Xiaoxiao was still leaning on my shoulder, but I was staring straight at the milk tea.

She said we?Are you referring to me and Haoran?What will happen to us?

Will she blame me?Blame me for not sympathizing with Tomoko, blame me for not leaving her sooner, blame me for not returning her to Tomoko.If Tomoko is really gone, she and I, we will never be together, there will always be a Tomoko between us, right?