me and my gay husband

Since going to Huafeng Mountain, Ma Shujie has appeared in his mind more and more times, even dreaming about him, the memory about him still seems to be indelible.Whenever I go home and walk to the door, I will unconsciously glance at the fist print on the wall, and the memory of that day will appear again.

"Ding~" The phone in my trouser pocket rang, I took out the phone habitually, and saw it was my mother.

"Hey, Mom!" I diverted my attention and forced a smile.

"Well, Zhe Zhe, how are you doing at home?"

"Very good, Mom!" Looking at the huge room, it was very quiet.

"Mom will be back the day after tomorrow. It's so hot here. Is it hot at home?" When I heard my mother talking about what happened there, I couldn't help laughing, and I answered a few words from time to time. .Until my mother said that Yuxing wanted to talk to me.

"Hello, Yuxing?" I was wondering what he would say?

"Jingzhe, are you feeling better?" a hoarse voice.

"Don't worry, I'm ready. Did you enjoy your time there?"

"..."

"Hello, Yu Xing?" There was no sound on the other end of the phone for some reason.

"Ma Shujie called me." After the silence, his hoarse voice came again.

"Huh?" He couldn't feel happy when he heard the name, "What did he say?"

"He said," Yu Xing's swallowing voice was clearly heard: "He asked me why you broke up with him suddenly? Jing Zhe, what's going on? I heard his tone as if it was yours. Question, but I know about you..."

"Okay!" When I heard the news about him, I felt as if I would have an attack, but in the end I still had to hold back, and I paused for a while: "Everything is over, it doesn't matter anymore."

"That?" Yu Xing made a tentative voice again: "Is that your fault or his fault?"

I couldn't figure out what method Ma Shujie used to make Yu Xing, who knew the facts in advance, be so sure of me. I couldn't help but want to hear his explanation.

"It was my fault, and I stayed in the hospital for eight or nine days." Hearing this, he couldn't help snorting, Ma Shujie, you must want the whole world to think that I was at fault first.

"Okay, okay, don't be angry, I believe you!" Seeing me say this, Yu Xing quickly changed his tone, and then missed and missed such nasty words again and again.

"Damn Feng Jingzhe, I don't want to come to Sanya. For this trip, my mother called several times to criticize me." Yu Xing complained on the phone, and I didn't know how to answer the phone.

"..." Maybe I haven't skipped over Ma Shujie's matter and didn't answer the question.

"It's okay, I'm coming back the day after tomorrow anyway, so I can see you!" Yu Xing told me not to speak, and changed the subject again.

"Mmm, good!" Just like that, I hung up the phone without a few words of conversation. I stared at the blue sky outside the window seriously, and unconsciously narrowed my eyes. This call made me miss Ma Shujie the only thing I had. They all turned into hatred, and I couldn't help but feel that I was so ridiculous and pathetic.

The breeze outside the window patted my cheek again. Feeling the beauty of the breeze, it seems that my mood has improved a little.After calming down, I seriously considered my relationship with him.

The scenes of the first meeting are still reflected in front of my eyes. I seem to have gotten used to the days when he was there. This summer vacation, I didn’t have him at the beginning, and then I went to the hospital one after another. When Huafengshan, Yuxing and Lingwu were there It's a little better, but in every silent night, only I can understand the loneliness in the night.

However, the cruel words have already been spoken, how can we redeem them?

Thinking of this, I caressed my cheek with a smile, I, do you want to redeem it?

I'm not sure, but I'm not reconciled either.I don't know what to do, and I don't know where the decision just now went, and the rest.The cowardly, indecisive me.

"Summer vacation, I want to play with you."

"Jing Zhe, I don't mind the people around you knowing about our relationship."

"Our love is not different, Jingzhe, please remember, there is nothing to be afraid of. Because I am here!"

I don't know if it was the sound brought by the breeze, but I could vaguely hear the words he had said to me so seriously in my ears, and the smile on the corner of my mouth was still maintained, and I instantly felt that these words were very pleasant.It's for me, my own words.

But!The smile on the corner of my mouth gradually collapsed. My resolute words that day, the words that hurt others and myself have completely cut off the last contact between me and him. My eyes are dazzled, these bits and pieces of memories, especially the dispute at home, are so profound.They all seem to tell me that there is no room for redemption, and I have no chance.

In desperation and entanglement, I had no choice but to turn on the computer Baidu.In fact, I seldom go online because I don't like chatting with some people on the Internet, and I don't even want to play games.

"Baidu: What should I do if I like someone but hurt him?" After entering a line of words and clicking search, there are many, many answers that immediately catch my eyes, some are insincere, and some are explicit Scolding, all the answers are "If you like him, why do you still hurt him", I can't help but feel helpless when I see these, it is obviously a question raised by the person concerned, but in the end, none of the answers are positive answers, all are rhetorical questions. It is not clear who is asking and who is answering.

I smiled and looked at these words, although they didn't know the situation, but seeing their words, I really realized that I really did something wrong, it was outrageous.

One netizen commented: "If you hurt the person you like, then the person you like must have hurt you first, but if you really like someone, then you will not use him to hurt you as an excuse To hurt him, because you like him, you want him to live a good life, even if he bruises you all over, you will bear it, just because of one word, love. If you have other attitudes, then you made a mistake, you Don't like him."

At that age, I couldn't understand it, I just glanced at it, but now I understand what love is.

When I was young, I couldn't tell the difference between liking and love. I foolishly thought that Shu Jie loved me, so he had to protect me at all times and not let me get hurt.On the contrary, I will hurt each other like a hedgehog.

In fact, if you like someone, how can you care about these things?

Just like Shu Jie, I like you, so what does it matter if you stand up for me?It doesn't matter if you don't show up at the critical moment, as long as you are still there, and you still say you love me, I won't care about it.

But, is this kind of love really what I want?

After turning off the computer, I hurried to the toilet, stood in front of the mirror and looked at the unhealed scar at the corner of my eye, which was the mark left by him.It is also evidence of hating him.