me and my gay husband

At that moment I was desperate, really.I have never had such a strong thought of committing suicide. I feel that my whole world is shrouded in misery.Because I was afraid that I would not be able to adapt to this world, I kept pretending, I wanted to be recognized by this world, but I was sinking step by step...

What I had longed for the most was the love between me and Shu Jie, but now I understand that what I longed for was based on my miserable family education, which is ridiculous and ironic.

I paused for breath, kicked the doorknob without thinking, and finally opened the door two or three times.I couldn't have had such great strength before. At this moment, I thank God for giving me some strength to do what I want to do.

The mother in the living room widened her eyes and wanted to come over to pull me, but she didn't seem to dare to come over, so she had to look at me.

"Zhezhe, what are you doing?" Mom's voice trembled.

I ignored it and just walked straight towards the door.

"What are you doing?" Mom's voice kept approaching me.

"I want to go, I want to get out of here!" Dazed, I yelled out without thinking, and the mother behind me stopped talking after hearing this.

I suddenly turned my head and looked at her: "You, it's you, it's all you, you have been letting me live in your way of thinking for so many years, I am a fucking human, I am not a tool! If you want a tool, find someone else , don’t look for me! I can’t stand it!!!”

Looking at my mother's wide-eyed eyes and a mouth full of eggs, I became even more angry.

"You are my mother, you are a parent, I respect you so much, but why can't you consider my feelings? I make up for it every day, and I do it every month. I also cooperate with you, but I make up for it every year. Make it up every year, you fucking ask me for my opinion? I have made it up so many times over the years, is it useful? Is it useful?" My voice is getting louder, and the shock is like Fighting with my own throat.

Mom was stunned for a while, but didn't say a word for a long time, and I didn't take a second look, just pushed the door and left.I think I should be in a state of berserk at that time.

"Come back!" The person behind seemed to rush out, but I didn't want to pay attention to it, and ran and jumped down the stairs in one breath.

Immediately after going out, I took a taxi to Shu Jie's place. Shu Jie didn't expect me to come here at all, but luckily he let me in.

"Why did you come?" Shu Jie asked me softly, with a very gentle tone.

"Can't I come?" I didn't look at him, just stared at the floor.

"Fuck, what's your tone? What's wrong with you?"

"It's nothing, I want to see you!" For a moment, I blurted out this unfamiliar adjective.

"You don't have a fever, do you?" He touched my forehead and laughed again: "Or is it that you are so horny that you come to me in the middle of the night to let your husband vent to you?"

"You're a fucking beast!" I never looked at him.

"Hey, to be honest, what are you doing here now?" He turned his head to meet my eyes, which were full of doubts.

I chuckled lightly: "I won't see you again if my mother doesn't come today!" I didn't know how to listen to his tone.I just feel like my heart is hugging a ball of fire, trying to burst out!

"What the hell are you yelling at?" Maybe he wasn't used to my way of speaking, and he was a little excited to follow his tone.

"Ma Shujie, I don't want anything, I don't want anything!" You take me away, let's go together, okay, get out of here?When I saw his face, I seemed to have found salvation. I suddenly remembered how I got out of the house just now, and suddenly realized the consequences of these things, but I still couldn't calm down. When I saw Shu Jie, I really hoped for Shu Jie Can take me away, to a place where no one knows us, only him in my world, maybe I will be very free and happy!

"Feng Jingzhe!" Shu Jie pinched my shoulders with both hands, and at the same time his high decibel made me shut up. I stared blankly at him, not knowing what to do.

"Zhe Zhe, what's the matter?" His face gradually approached, his forehead pressed against mine, as if my heart was also tied to him.

"I..." Before the words came out, most of his eyes were already wet.I already knew that the timid and cowardly me from before was back again. I didn't dare to say a word, I just cried.

"Don't be afraid, baby, I'm here, you man, I'm here, no one can bully you!" Shu Jie's voice became soft again, and his palm patted my back very lightly, like a caress.

"Shu Jie, Shu Jie..." I feel like I can't speak at all at this moment, I want to tell him what I think in my heart, I want to tell him what I have planned for a long time, but I can't say a word When he came out, he could only call his name with a choked voice...