me and my gay husband

The sound of running water, the noise, both quiet and noisy.

I couldn't open my eyes, I just vaguely heard someone calling me.

I was so tired, too tired to respond.I felt like I was lying in a puddle of mud, I didn't dare to move, it seemed that every movement would sink me.

Just go to sleep!

When you fall asleep, you don't have to think about anything.

Shu Jie, Dad, Yu Xing, Ling Wu, Old Man Li.Goodbye, I'm leaving.The most important person in my life.

Shu Jie, I hate you, I really hate you.But I love it so much, what should I do?Haven't I only loved you in my life?But love you, I love so hard.Whenever I want to give up, you will appear again, and I will be caught in your warm gaze without a little bit of defense. At that moment, I am as sweet as a candy, and you are the firm armor that protects me. My world is full of It's so kind of you!

When I was resurrected with full blood, when you were worthy of my full knowledge, your cruelty, your reproach, blurted out.Makes me wonder, do you really love me?At that moment, I was in pain, as if I was stabbed in the heart fiercely, and I was about to suffocate.But I will think, think of you, you are sustenance.I uphold my sustenance and take a look at the person who stabbed me before I die. That person can be anyone, but it can't be you.Your gloomy smile drove me to the cliff, and in the end, I had no way out but to escape.

Is it that I was wrong the moment I fell in love with you?

Every time I get bipolar disorder, I want to be relieved. When I think of my father's pressing every step of the way, driving me to a corner, and the little things you Ma family have done to me!I can't forget.I was wounded and wounded, and when I went back to school, I had to face blatant discrimination from the whole school. Did you know that I was the talk of the teachers in the office?Don't you know that I'm a monster in front of my classmates?In this world, what is more terrible than discrimination?I thought about it a few times, I wonder if I should say goodbye to this world?I am not afraid of death, nor do I want to live.It's just you, a belief, let me be mixed into the gap between life and death.

I thought I owed nothing to anyone but my parents.But there is one more person.I can't understand until now.Du Yuxing, with 15 years of companionship, from peers and playmates to talking about everything, in life, it is not easy to meet such a person.

If, I am going to die in the next moment, I hope, I hope Yu Xing will not be sad, people are born to die, he must understand that there is nothing to be sad about.

Thank you for your 15 years of companionship, and thank you for your meticulous care. If there is a chance, I want to repay you. I think it is time to find you a wife!After playing as a bachelor for so many years, I don't know what the relationship between you and Ling Wu was like, but that's all in the past.Let go of the past and look to the future.

"Jing Zhe! Jing Zhe!" Feeling my body being shaken violently, I really want to open my eyes to see who he is?Can't guess who is ravaging me like this?Now I'm in a deep quagmire, no matter how much I move, I don't even have time to say my last words.

I opened my eyes, it was dark.

I blinked again, it was still dark.

With some fear in my heart, I struggled and opened my eyes again!

Finally saw the bright room.A doctor in a white coat stood in the room, he smiled, and said to the direction beside me: "The operation was successful, stay in the hospital for observation," and then left.It really has nothing to do with me, and I won't even say much.

I turned my head to look at my side, it was Yu Xing, and I smiled.

"Jing Zhe, are you awake?" His voice was very soft, as if he was afraid of scaring me.

I nodded lightly, unable to look around my whole body, it was full of the smell of medicinal water.

I can't remember how many times I woke up in the hospital, how many times I was injured, let alone why.

"I made it through?" The voice was hoarse and weak, I guess Yu Xing couldn't hear it clearly.

"En." He still responded softly, stroking my head lightly, and didn't say much.

"How did you find me?" It felt like the eye sockets were already wet, and the tears had overflowed from the corners of the eyes.

Yu Xing glanced at me, then lowered his head, pinched the bridge of his nose with his hand, and did not speak.

The heavy ward already made me uncomfortable, and now with Yu Xing's silence, I couldn't accept it even more. I wanted to get up, but I couldn't move.

"What are you doing?" Yu Xing immediately raised his head when he heard the sound, and gently pressed my shoulder: "You hurt your lower abdomen, don't move around."

Belly?Hook?I seem to remember it and stop moving.

"Then, how did you find me?" I insisted on asking, and Yu Xing sighed: "One night I said I would come to pick you up, but when I arrived, I found you were not there, so I dialed your number and answered. It's Ma Shujie." He lowered his head, and I followed suit, and the whole room became silent again...

After a while, I snapped my fingers, and because I couldn't stand the silence, I raised my head and asked him, "What about him?"

"You..." Yu Xing stared at me with wide eyes, I avoided his eyes, he calmly said, "You went to see him again?"

I exhaled heavily, nodded, and looked at him: "What about others?"

Shu Jie answered the phone, did he still have me in his heart?

"The next ward." He frowned.

I was startled at first, and then I saw a slight scar on the corner of his eye, I seemed to understand a little bit, I looked at him suspiciously, waiting for him to speak.

"When I came over one day, you were bleeding all over the place. I couldn't hold back and beat him a few times." He lowered his head: "Later when we came to the hospital, the doctor said to use blood transfusion, the doctor said to use plasma, Ma Shujie He said the blood plasma was not clean, so he lost his own.” I fixed my eyes on him, and he paused, then raised his head to look at me: “I want to do the same, but the blood type doesn’t match.”

I let the bead marks on my face pass by.I laughed, mockingly, laughing at why I was so disappointing, I couldn't control myself when I heard a little about him, is it worth it?Once you ask, you have the answer.

"Why would he do that?" After thinking about it, I didn't want to owe him anything.

Yu Xing spread his hands: "Well, you shouldn't ask me." He sighed, "Shall I go abroad with you?"

I frowned: "Why?" He was also the one who opposed my going abroad.

After careful thought, I realized.He wanted me to change the environment, an environment without Shu Jie.

"I know you're doing it for my own good." I looked at him, "However, I have to deal with it myself." Seeing that he was about to speak, I interrupted: "I've already thought about it, trust me once , okay?"

Yu Xing glanced sideways at my lower abdomen, smiled contemptuously, and looked at me: "Don't you think it's ironic? How do you face him? How many times do I still believe you?" The more he said, the more excited he got, and he stood up: "You and him were wrong in the first place, you shouldn't come back!" I felt his anger, he kicked the stool he just sat on hard, the sound was too loud for the hospital.

What are you angry about?I want to ask, but dare not ask.It's about me, I have nothing to say, right?

"Go out and quarrel, don't affect the patient!" I don't know how long he was silent, until a nurse appeared at the door, he left in a hurry, leaving me alone.

I closed my eyes and recalled what I thought was a beautiful past. Did I make a mistake at the beginning?

The setting sun shines on my cheeks, I smile and enjoy those years alone...