me and my gay husband

When I woke up again, the first thing I sensed was the nasty smell of potion.With my body, heh, it seems that the hospital has become my home, and I am a frequent visitor.

I tilted my head and saw Yu Xing beside me resting with his head propped up.

The corner of the mouth inadvertently evoked a smile: "Yu Xing, Yu Xing."

"Are you awake?" Yu Xing said in a tired and vicissitudes voice: "You have been in a coma for three days, and the doctor said that you were agitated, which triggered the bipolar disorder again. Jingzhe, I really didn't mean it."

"It's okay. I'm already used to my body." I glanced at him: "I had a dream. I dreamed that I went to Dahan, and I didn't know anyone there. I didn't know what to do. You're not here."

"Jing Zhe." Yu Xing kept looking at me, as if his throat was a little choked up, and he couldn't speak.

"Yu Xing, I think I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for my father, I'm sorry for my mother. I feel sorry for many people." I started to sob: "But what should I do? What should I do."

"Jing Zhe, don't get excited." Yu Xing wiped the corner of his eyes: "Don't worry, I'm here, I'll always be here."

"But when you came to me, I was so scared, I was so afraid that you would blame me. I just want to live quietly, quietly. I finally forgot all the bad things, but how could I forget? ? I am so conflicted and have a headache."

Yu Xing patted my shoulder and said softly, "Zhe Zhe, take a good rest and listen to me tell you a story."

I didn't think too much, and nodded lightly, Yu Xing, you say, I will listen.

"You know, when did I realize that I fell in love with you?" Yu Xing lowered his head and sneered uncontrollably: "I have been in love with you for so many years, and who would have thought that? , I will fall into your hands."

"Before, I regarded you as Xiong-Di! I was a good Xiong-Di in my life. But knowing the story between you and Ma Shujie, I think how could you become such a person? But in order to be Xiong-Di with you, I endured it , I still support you."

"How could it be possible to say that I don't know you? How could I not understand the scene between you and Ling Wu five years ago? How could I not know about Auntie's condition? But there is not much I can do, Only do it the way you want it to be done.”

"Finally until you come back five years later. I want you to return to the right way. I want you to find a woman to live your life happily. Where is Ma Shujie? We were young and ignorant, forget it. But you must Listen, you have to work hard to find Ma Shujie and go back."

"But you don't know that a woman has appeared beside Ma Shujie to replace you. She loves Shujie, and she is a woman. Compared with her, you are already at the starting line. As a friend, I certainly don't want you to take the blame."

"But later, until you went to Zhefan secretly, I found out that you have bipolar disorder. Seeing that you wash your face with tears every day for Ma Shujie, make yourself so tired for Ma Shujie, and you even forgot to smile for Ma Shujie! How can I Want to see you like this?"

"I swear, I will protect you. If getting Ma Shujie back can make you truly happy, then I am willing, willing to help you."

He lowered his head: "As for falling in love with you, I actually don't know why, maybe it's because you tortured yourself so badly for Ma Shujie, I'm not reconciled; or maybe, maybe after so many years, I realized that only me , can protect you."

"Actually, Jing Zhe, do you know? Ma Shujie likes you. When you left, he even acted like crazy. His grades plummeted, and he didn't come to class for three days. He even skipped class and went to Shanghai to find you. In the end, he didn't succeed. And back."

"I know." I couldn't help but said: "I know, he laughed at me for being snobbish, and that my love with him was based on money. So much so that I knew he hated me in the end."

Yu Xing sighed: "Some things, you should ask him first." He looked at me: "Jing Zhe, I think you should take control of your own happiness. Remember, I have always been where I am, waiting for you." you come back."

Yuuki looked at me with a smile.I was at a loss.Yuxing, what makes me so entitled to your love?The world is so big, but you are the best to me, really warm and touching.

"Yu Xing, thank you." I also smiled.

"Don't thank me, you choose, go to him, or give up. I will send you to the best hospital in the United States. Treat your bipolar disorder, after rest, we can start again. I like you and want to protect you. This is my promise to you."

"Thank you." I didn't know what to do.But after thinking about it, all I can say is thank you.

"One lifetime is enough to love one person." Thank you, Yu Xing.

☆. The first part of the finale: Jingzhe's persistence

"You still love Ma Shujie, right? You still can't forget him, right?" I was running on the street outside the hospital, remembering what Yu Xing said: "Well, if you still miss him, you should go find him He made it clear. You can go to his company, or you can go to Yao Xinyi and make it clear in person."

Yes, I want to be clear.I can't forget my purpose of coming back, and I can't let go of Shu Jie completely.

Shu Jie, whether you still like me or not, please give me some time to say what I want to say, I feel too uncomfortable if I hold it back for too long.

I hurried into the taxi, took out my mobile phone, and wanted to call him first. This is the call record of the last time he contacted me.

"Hello." The other end of the phone was very decisive, and I couldn't tell what tone it was.

"Hey, Shu Jie, wait for me, wait for me to come to you."

"..."

"Where are you, I have something to tell you."

"company."

"Okay, here I come."

I put down my phone and looked at the scenery walking outside the window. I couldn't help but think that I wanted to find him in such a hurry a few years ago. The last time it caused me a temporary nerve paralysis. This time, I am not afraid and don't care about anything.

Looking down at the phone, gritting her teeth, she still dialed Yao Xinyi's number and signaled her to go to the company as well. Today, it's time to make a deal.

I didn't pay attention to the number of times the taxi turned, and I didn't pay attention to the roads I passed. When I hung up the phone, the master said that I had arrived at the company.

I let out a breath, opened the car door, and wanted to enter the company.

Wait, I need something!

I hurried to the store, knowing that what was in my hand could not replace it, but now I can only make do with it.Put it in the bag, and ran up desperately.

Today I am destined to become shameless, shameless, Shu Jie, as long as you still like me.

"Excuse me, is this Mr. Feng? The president has been waiting for you for a long time, please come with me." As soon as I entered the company, I saw the reception lady. I didn't even have time to pay attention, and walked straight forward.

"Mr. Feng?!" The lady at the front desk looked at me twice, seeing that I didn't pay attention, she didn't call me again, and she didn't leave until she brought me to the office.

I clearly saw the office in front of me, which said [President's Office].Because it is transparent glass, I could faintly see tall and straight men walking inside.I laughed and pushed the door open.

He was not the only one in the door, Yao Xinyi, Yao Chenxin, and Shu Jie's father were also sitting there.

"Are you here?" Yao Chenxin stood up when he saw me, looked at me and smiled.

I stared at the man in front of me. He lowered his head. There were five people in the room. He didn't even look at him. He just looked down at the floor, as if he was waiting for something?

"Ma Shujie? Do you still like me?" I asked him.

I couldn't see the expressions of other people around me clearly, I only knew that Yao Chenxin had obviously sat down, and no one in the room spoke.

I saw Father Ma start to pick up the landline, and without thinking, I went over and smashed the phone, looked at Father Ma, and I smiled: "Uncle, it's better not to care about our young people, now you have only one choice, That is to listen!"

Father Ma stared at me stubbornly, and raised his hand to hit me.I grabbed his hand, it was ridiculous, I stared at him: "Uncle, please take care of yourself, I am no longer the Feng Jingzhe five years ago."

"Enough!" Shu Jie finally opened his mouth, and I saw Yao Xinyi looking at Shu Jie with a wide-eyed expression.

I asked, "Shu Jie, do you still like me?"

I walked up to him and waited for his answer.

The whole room became quiet, as if they were waiting for his answer.

"I don't like it." Ma Shujie gave me a blank look, and then looked behind me, Yao Xinyi.

dislike?Ah.

I started to tiptoe and eat his lips, I wanted to own his lips, his understanding.

At that moment, I kissed hard, seriously, and happily.

Shu Jie did not refuse!

I knew that he would never reject me like this. Does this mean that you still love me?

Gradually, the answer in my heart gradually became clear. I let him go, turned to look at Father Ma, and kept smiling: "Uncle has a little more psychological tolerance. You can get used to this kind of thing after watching it twice."

This is a line, but I think it is very useful.

Then I turned around and looked at Yao Xinyi. She was sitting calmly, without any expression in her eyes.

who cares!Right.

I turned around again and looked at the person I love so much, staring at me seriously.

"Shu Jie, I love you."

"Shu Jie, I love you."

"Shu Jie, I love you."

"Say it all, say the important things three times, Ma Shujie, I have grown up, and I have reached the age where I can say love, and I am willing to tell you, I love you."

I started to wrap my arms around his neck and pressed against his forehead, I kept smiling all the time: "Ma Shujie, shall we kiss deeply?"

How can I wait for his answer, if I don't like it, wouldn't it be too unpleasant?

I began to take the initiative to occupy his territory, and the two soft pieces began to linger.I can feel that he is responding to me, but it's not obvious.So I tried harder, Shu Jie, I want to possess you, I want to have all of you.

"From now on, I will listen to you." I looked at him: "But I have the final say on who to be with."

There was still no expression on his face, I became a little dissatisfied, and squeezed his face hard: "Damn it, you have to laugh at me! I don't want to be so stern about you."

Shu Jie, you like this look, right?

Let's go back to the original age at this moment.

I remember, you said, my world is you.

This answer, like me, is returned to you.

☆、The first part of the finale: Yuxing's confession

I don't know what Shu Jie was thinking about this sudden confession, he just threw my hand away, glared at me a few times, then turned around and pulled Yao Xinyi away.

Do you really not love me anymore?

I clearly saw that Shu Jie's hands and Yao Xinyi's were closely intertwined, and my heart felt like broken glass.

Father Ma pointed at me viciously, as if he wanted to do something.Yao Chenxin stood up slowly, without looking at me, and directly supported Father Ma to leave.

what do I do?Did Ma Shujie give me the answer?

This scene was like the one where Jiang Ling dragged Ma Shujie away several years ago.

No, I can make this happen again.

I chased after them without thinking. I didn't know which direction they were heading. I just guessed wildly and ran wildly.In short, I can't let Ma Shujie leave me, no.

"Ma Shujie! Shu Jie, come out." I yelled hysterically, I want to find you, you are not allowed to leave me, you can't.

Gradually, I felt a hug appear behind me, gently encircling me.

Shu Jie!It must be Shu Jie.

"Shu Jie, is that you?" I gradually became quiet and wanted to turn around, but he hugged me too tightly to turn around.

"Don't make trouble, let's go home." The person behind finally spoke, and a little smile appeared on the corner of my mouth.

But, why is it still so uncomfortable in my heart?I was dazed, and let him carry me on his back and walk outside.

I even felt tears wet my cheeks, and my eyes were slightly swollen, which made me unable to open them.

In the world with my eyes closed, I can see a lot of things.There is the scene of me delivering bread to Shu Jie, the scene of being wall-donged in his dormitory, and me laughing and laughing with him on the familiar long street. Everything seems so happy, free, unrestrained, and even, happy .

I lay on his back quietly and could even feel his breathing.I tried my best to wrap my arms around his neck tightly, but I couldn't.The more clearly I remember, the more uncomfortable I am.He walked beside me step by step, his shoulders seemed to tremble a little, but he didn't speak.I also lay on his back with my eyes wet, and we didn't talk all the way.

I know, I left him.

At this moment, even Xu Zhimo couldn't express my thoughts, and I only liked one sentence: "Xia Chong is also silent for me."

The entire long street is very quiet, without the usual noise, just like late at night, in the dead of night, no one knows that I still exist.

"Is it better?" He suddenly stopped and turned his head to ask me.

"En." I replied lightly, without opening my eyes, I leaned closer to his ear: "Shu Jie, don't talk, let's go home, shall we? Are you coming back?"

Silence, silence after silence is still silence.

I raised the corners of my mouth, moved closer to his cheek, and kissed him lightly, but I never opened my eyes.

He sighed, then walked forward.I seemed to be unable to bear it any longer, and more tears welled up in my eyes, forming two galaxies where my eyes closed, sealing my eyes.

"I love you, I can't bear you, Shu Jie, please, come back, please come back?" I tightly grasped his back, very hard, as if grabbing a life-saving straw.

"Okay!" He stopped and put me down gently.

My world is dark and I can't see anything.

He held my face in his hands and breathed out, "Open your eyes."

I frowned, and my eyes seemed to flood again.Gritting my teeth, I still held back and said, "I don't."

"Open!"

"I do not!"

He started shaking my shoulders, and his voice became louder: "Feng Jingzhe, open your fucking eyes! I'm Du Yuxing, see clearly!"

"No, you are not Yu Xing, you are Shu Jie." The shadow area in his heart seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, as if it meant that he would see the light again soon.I don't, I don't want that answer.I just want to be by your side.

"He treated you so well, do you still want to treat yourself like this?" His strength became lighter, and he gently stroked my wet cheeks.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw clearly the person opposite, it was Yu Xing.Actually, I always knew it was Yuxing, but what?So what?

"Am I going to find him?" I looked at Yuxing, and Yuxing looked at me.

Yu Xing did not speak, his eyes kept staring at me without moving.until my phone rang.

The font on the screen was like my oxygen tank, and I answered the phone before I had time to get excited.

"Shu Jie?!"

"Yes. Where are you?"

"I, I'm near your company."

"..."

Before he could answer, Yu Xing grabbed the phone.

"Ma Shujie, whether you want Yao Xinyi or Feng Jingzhe, you choose yourself! I like Jingzhe, there are not many opportunities, you can grasp it yourself."

Then Yu Xing didn't know what was said on the other end of the phone, so Yu Xing hung up the phone and kept staring at me, fascinated.

"Say what?" I asked him.

"It's nothing, I'll accompany you to Zhefan."

Zhefan?Shu Jie's bar?Before I could react, I looked at Yu Xing's expression and couldn't tell what it was, but it must have been a big concession for him to let me see Shu Jie.

He pulled me all the way, very close, but his steps were very slow, walking forward step by step.

Out of the alley, he turned and looked at me.

"Jingzhe?!"

"Ok?"

"My love for you is without any impurities. I want to protect you, and I hope..."

"Okay Yuxing, don't you want to go to Zhefan? Let's go?" It was the first time I let him lead me, and it was also the first time I interrupted him impolitely. I looked at him speechlessly.

He curled the corner of his mouth and smiled at me, then turned around and walked forward again, at a faster pace.

☆. The first part of the grand finale: Shu Jie's ending

Part One of the Grand Finale: Shu Jie's Monologue

He says:

Your unruly face looks like the end of the sky.

His washed hair is like a flame in his heart.

A short carnival, thought to last a lifetime.

A long farewell is a feast of youth.

Shu Jie is sitting on the stage less than one meter away from me at the moment, that is his Zhe Fan, his youth.

I can't remember how many times this is the first time I still sit down and look at him obsessively like a fool.The long and narrow eyelashes, the high bridge of the nose, and the babbling red lips are very beautiful.

Intoxicated by the singing, I looked at his face quietly. For a while, I felt that this song was sung for me.

Close your eyes,

Unknowingly, I have already walked with him for seven years,

I used to be full of confidence,

Desperate to meet him,

Because I still want to say something to him,

I still love you,

I really still love you.

"Shu Jie." With a smile on my face, I finally spoke when he played the last note. This moment will always come.

The closed eyes finally fixed on me, it was rejection, it was acceptance, I believe at this moment, it will be revealed, right?

"Jingzhe, I love you."

Shu Jie spoke, this was his first sentence.

I believe that those present will be stunned when they hear this sentence, and may even feel hypocritical.

"Although I love you, there is an unbridgeable ditch between us." He walked off the stage and approached me step by step until he put his chin on my forehead.

"Jingzhe, tell me, is it a mistake to meet at the beginning?" He gently stroked my face: "What's the point of falling in love like this?"

I looked at him blankly, like a hedgehog whose flesh was caught by someone, not daring to move for fear of getting hurt.

"I ruined you." He continued: "This love that shouldn't have come made you forget your dignity. Jingzhe, remember, you are a man, you should be strong." I kissed my cheek: "It's useless to cry, cry for me? Then it's not worth it." He said and laughed: "I don't remember how long it has been, I am also like you now, always like melancholy, always Likes to cry, what a silly child."

"Is it related to Xinyi?" I asked him with a trembling voice.

I saw his eyes became more gentle, shook his head gently, leaned close to my face and said: "How can there be other people in the story of the two of us?" He looked around and looked at Zhe Fan: "It's just , and now this imperfect story, we should work together one last time to make a good ending for it, right?"

Shu Jie, I don't know what to say.I just feel that he will leave me. I am a little scared, but I can't find any reason to refute him.

"Jingzhe, we've all grown up, haven't we? We all have our own world. We've been separated for five years. Is the relationship between you and me still the same as before?" He lowered his hands, turned his back to me, and sighed. It's like remembering.

"Perhaps in the past, if my beloved Jing Zhe was as brave as he was a few hours ago, I would definitely jump up for joy...but...but..."

But I didn't believe you, but chose to go to another place alone.

It turns out that all my willingness and unwillingness are my own fault, I understand, I understand.

"So, Shu Jie, let's be happy for each other, shall we?"

I don’t know what supports me, maybe it’s like what Shu Jie said, I’m a man, I should learn to be strong.It is also he who made me understand that there is nothing I can't let go of, right?Everything can actually disappear in smoke, and in the end, it becomes a memory, which is not as powerful as you and I smiling at each other.

He didn't speak, just quietly turned his back to me so that I couldn't see him.

I seemed to understand everything suddenly. It turns out that people in the memories cannot be met. If they meet, they are not memories.

I'm glad that the damn sickness didn't come out this time. I calmly turned around and walked towards the door one step at a time.Yu Xing tried to help me, but I still refused, I am healthy, I am calm, I don't need anyone to take care of me, at this moment, I should be stronger than anyone else.

Suddenly remembered the plot in the TV series, I am facing my memory at the moment, I am about to leave, bid farewell to my youth, bid farewell to my memories, please cherish each other...

"Goodbye, that egomaniac."

"Goodbye, you always like people who call me an idiot."

"Goodbye, my love."

Goodbye, forever.

☆, finale: parting without saying goodbye

I looked at the sky, it was still blue as usual, and I was still free as usual.

It turns out that the weakest part of human beings is reluctance.

But no matter how reluctant, now, I have completely and completely forgotten without leaving a trace.

So much so that I can sit quietly at the table and write down my past.

Now I can also say goodbye to that familiar name with a smile, and quietly leave that youthful story.

I am not a man who likes men, but I am an insignificant ordinary person who longs for love. As long as you have love and I am the one who is attracted to you, then everything is logical.

Each of us will be a little humble when we live in love, but it is precisely because of our respective accomplishments that make life more interesting.

I don't know if you have any memories?

I don't know if you have such a special love?

But I believe that only by enriching yourself can you get closer to your love. Don't be afraid of hard work, just treat it as love.

I think the happiest thing is to be loved by others, but the premise must be that you love him too, otherwise all this will turn from comedy to tragedy.

Just like Du Yuxing, I would never agree to this love that shouldn't have appeared anyway.Because there is a person living in my heart, I don't want to owe any more.

Such a story is over, but my life can also be said to be a new start. First of all, thank you for listening. Maybe the expression is not clear, but I hope to understand.Maybe you who are reading are younger than me, maybe you are still young and upright, so I hope you will experience a more exciting youth.

The beginning of the story is always like this, just in time, caught off guard.The end of the story is always like this, two flowers bloom, each side of the sky.

Nothing is bigger than time, just like me and Shu Jie.We're all fine, it's just bad timing.Or me and Yu Xing, he once said to me: I am right behind you, you can see it when you turn around.However, you have not turned around.

Ordinary people may be moved to joy, and then join this beautiful love at the right place.But I dare not, dare not hurt again, dare not be hurt again.

I said: Sometimes I don't want to, but I dare not think about it.Don't force it, okay?

For men, I only fell in love with one in this life, and I can't hold others. As for women, there are many women around me in this life, but none of them are suitable to be lovers, because of that man.