cactus on bay window

"My father said that I was unlucky, and my mother died." When talking about his father, his expression was very calm, as if he was telling someone else's story. "Didn't I have a tail when I was born? My dad thought I was a monster, and I killed my mom. In fact, he was right. How could my mom die if she didn't live for me? So when he was young, he He hates me very much. He always sends me to my grandma’s house, but then he doesn’t pick me up. When he wants to send me back, he says no, he says he doesn’t want to raise me as a monster, and hates me when he sees me. Because of this, my grandma started to hate him. Especially when he got married again later, and gave birth to another son as a baby, my grandma hated him even more. He said that he was inhuman, devoid of conscience, not a human being, and told me never to see him again, nor Recognize him as a father."

Unexpectedly, this child's life experience is so complicated, and he has experienced so much at a young age. An ordinary child would have been useless long ago. It is really rare for him to study hard, go to university, and have the enthusiasm to dedicate love to society. "Then... what do you think?" I suddenly wanted to know him a little bit, he might be different from what I imagined.

"What can I think? He hates me, and I can't love him. He is just a person who gave me life. He doesn't need me, and I don't need him. Sometimes we have to meet. He has money, and often Throwing money on me can make him find a sense of existence, and then humiliate me after I was thrown by the money, so that I can deeply understand how much he misses my mother who has died for nearly 20 years, and how much he loves me. I hate it to the bone. Sometimes I am very strange, since he loves my mother so much, why does he marry another woman and have children?"

"Reproduce future generations and continue descendants." I said, and I couldn't help but think of the reason why Xu Shihao explained to me why he had to break up with me and marry a woman.Yes, some men desire children more than love.

"That person is my father, and I have never regarded him as my father." Ling Guo said again: "But I have never told my grandma about it. I think it is my own business. How he is depends on how he treats me and what I think, not what my grandma wants me to think. So she always thinks that my relationship with my dad is very good, especially every time my dad hits me After the money, my grandma was very angry when she found out."

"How did your dad throw money at you?" I'm really curious about this.

"Buy me a house and a car, but I have never lived in the house he bought, and I have never touched the car he bought. Then he paid someone to kidnap me, and then paid someone to rescue me. "

"How do you know he paid someone to do it? What if it's true?"

"Hmph!" Ling Guo sneered disdainfully: "Have you ever seen a kidnapper who is not only afraid to touch you, but also afraid of bumping you? After I saw through his tricks, I didn't expose him." But he will definitely not say thank you. He also knows that I am not a fool, but he wants to prove that I am a fool, and then spends money to hire hooligans to fight with me. That time I really didn’t know it was fake, so I fought with someone Woke up, and discounted his legs, and then he jumped out of course to lose money and humiliate me. Later he knew that I like men, so he hired MB to seduce me, and pretended to meet me by chance, and then took Throwing money at people and telling them to fuck off, and then continuing to humiliate me. It happens at least once a year, and I'm tired."

"Your father is really good at it." I was a little speechless, I really don't know if his father regarded him as an enemy or as a toy?

"It's not generally possible." He smiled helplessly, then looked at me and asked, "What if..."

"Don't ask if I'm you, I'm not you." I interrupted him.

"Who asked you this, I mean if my dad sees me with you one day, if he thinks of implicating you again, will you ignore me again?"

"Don't worry, I can sue him to death." After finishing speaking, he felt something was wrong. "No, what do you mean? What do you mean I'm with you? When did we get together?"

"Now." He smiled.

"We're called together after having a meal together?"

"To my dad, this is called being together, or do you think you have to be caught in bed by him?"

"Don't talk nonsense, you little brat, it's impossible for us!"

"I didn't say it was possible, I was just afraid that my dad would misunderstand."

"Then you just need to avoid me from now on."

"I want to hide, who always sleeps in my bed?"

"Can your dad send someone to watch over that broken dormitory?"

"That's really not sure, our dormitory is a double dormitory, which is the most suitable for cultivating friendship."

"Hey... When you say that, I suddenly feel that Yue Yang is quite dangerous, why don't you change the dormitory."

"No change!" He gave me a hard look, and moved to the table to eat again.

"If you don't change, next year I will ask Yue Yang to move out and live with me back home."

He raised his head to look at me, and asked like he was looking at a monster: "Are you sure? It takes an hour to drive one way without traffic jams. Do you plan to let Yue Yang get up at five o'clock every morning to take a taxi to school, or do you also get up to see him off?" He goes to school and then back again?"

I was speechless for a moment, yes, although I thought about not wanting Yueyang to live in the dormitory, I ignored the fact that their school was almost half a city away.Let's talk about Yue Yang not staying in the dormitory later, the most urgent thing now is to keep Ling Guo away from him. "Anyway, don't get too close to our Yueyang, he will..."

"He won't be a big shot in the future." Ling Guo interrupted me again. "What do you think is the greatest prospect for a young man in the future? Can he be the chairman or the prime minister?"

"Don't argue with me!"

"I'm telling the truth. Our major will serve the people in the future, unless you change your career. If you really want him to make a difference in the future, you might as well drop out of school and follow you."

"I would like to, but even if I agree with him, my family can't agree!"

"Then don't be afraid that I will influence him. Besides, what can I influence him? He is not as good as me in terms of moral conduct, knowledge cultivation, social skills, artistic talent, and personality charm."

Did anyone say that about my brother?I stared at him: "Just because you are gay, you are far behind him, and you are several blocks away!"

"What's wrong with Gay? Don't you too? Who dumped whom? When you belittle me, forget yourself?"

"I'm different from you! I'm a successful person with a successful career now, so I'm not on the same level as you just because of this."

"You are not on the same level as me. I am a pure young man. You are already thirty. You have experienced many men. How dare you compare yourself with me?"

"You!" In a moment of panic, I grabbed the mat and swung it on his arm, but the chopsticks in his hand were shaken and flew away.He glared at me, but didn't say anything, and then shouted to the outside of the cubicle: "Waiter! Take another pair of chopsticks!"

Soon, the waiter opened the sliding door and delivered a new pair of chopsticks, and then he continued to eat without looking at me.

I looked at him depressed, and I didn't have the nerve to explain that apart from Xu Shihao, I had never experienced a second man at all, and a person's innocence doesn't depend on whether he has experienced them, but what can I explain to him?

This meal went from listening to him rambling to telling about his life experience to irritating me, it was really a thousand turns.But it's still a special Christmas night. Although this kid's words often make people want to beat him up, he doesn't feel bored.

At 02:30, seeing me frequently looking at the watch, he finally put down his chopsticks, stretched his waist and said, "Okay, let's go, but it's half an hour early, you have to accompany me to build a snowman."

I glared at him, but didn't say no, so we got out of the hot pot restaurant. We didn't get in the car, but walked along the sidewalk outside for about a hundred meters, and then came to a row of closed shops. A snowman was built on the snow without a footprint.

The snow is at least ten centimeters thick now, and the snowman was quickly piled up. I don’t know when he got two shiitake mushrooms in the hot pot restaurant. They will stick them on his head as eyes, and then put his own scarf Take it off and wrap it around the snowman.The ground was covered with snow and nothing could be used as a nose and mouth, so he dug out a lighter and a piece of chewing gum from his pocket.

The snowman already looks like that, but it still seems to be short of something. I also searched my pockets, but there was nothing there. Finally, I took off the tie and tied it on top of my head. This time the snowman finally looked a little majestic. felt it.

"There are still more." He fumbled back and forth between the inside and outside pockets of his clothes, and then found a few more candies. "My grandma stuffed it in before going out, just to put another row of buttons on it."

He pressed the peeled candy on the snowman's belly, and a row of buttons was fixed.So, a snowman with a plump look is ready.

He excitedly picked up his phone and took two photos of the snowman, and then handed the phone to me: "Come on, take a photo with the snowman."

I took a photo of him and the snowman with his mobile phone.Although it was late at night, it would be very bright on a snowy night, and the photos I took were quite clear.He was very satisfied after seeing the photos, so he pulled me over. "Come on, let's take another picture together."

When I was still wondering whether to take a photo with him, he had already raised his mobile phone and "clicked" to finish the photo, and then sent the photo to me and said, "Look at it, is it clear? What are you doing? The expression is the same as Like wood, remake."

"Fuck, I don't know you well, who wants to take a photo with you?" He pushed him away and walked back. "I finished making the snowman with you, and I'm going back to sleep. I'm not on your way, so you can take a taxi back by yourself."

"Hey! Why are you suddenly unhappy? Isn't it just for taking a photo together?" He shouted behind me.

"I'm not unhappy." I looked back at him and continued walking.I'm not happy, not because he took a photo with me, but because he took me in his arms at the moment when the photo was just taken.

I'm not a person with high morals who can sit quietly in a cup. Being able to endure loneliness does not mean that I have no ideas in my heart. Although he is still a child in my eyes, he is a man after all. Being suddenly held in his arms by him is like me. The heartbeat will speed up and the blood will surge up.I don't want to pretend to be calm and pretend I don't feel anything, and I can't, so I have to leave quickly.No matter what he thinks, I can't stay with him anymore.