I am the true love of the man

I didn’t come out of the quilt until the three of them left the dormitory, and all I could think about was how he was with the woman, whether he would call her wife, whether he would hug her and kiss her, whether he thought about her As good as me, or even better?I couldn't help thinking wildly, and my reason and forbearance were gradually collapsing.

I know I should see a doctor or take medicine, but I have already finished all the medicines I have with me, and there is no familiar psychiatrist here, so I can only endure it. Anyway, I have endured it for so many years, right?

…………

That night, Li Hui and Fang Tian went to the Internet cafe again. He and I were the only ones in the dormitory. I slept in bed all day, and he brought me dinner. I didn’t say a word to him. I can't help it, I can only look at him, I even hope he can understand the emotion and forbearance in my eyes.

"Honey, are you still angry?"

He climbed onto my bed, got under the covers, and hugged me from behind.

Does he know how hard it is for me to endure, how hard I try to restrain myself, but he still dares to approach me at this moment, I myself don't know if I will lose control and do some crazy things in this state.

asshole!

I turned around, looked straight at him, stretched out my hands to pull his head closer, kissed his lips hard, sucked hard, squeezed my tongue into his mouth, entangled his, and then I don't know when he started to respond... he pinned me down and didn't stop until we were both out of breath.

After we let go, we were silent for a long time.

"Good night kiss." He climbed to the upper bunk after he finished, and I didn't sleep until the early morning.

After that night, everything returned to normal. He would still wake me up, eat with me, sit together in class every day, and still play games together when there was no class or at night. Listed as a typical loving couple.He would kiss my forehead every day before going to bed. The first time I was stunned for a long time, I almost thought that I saw the dawn, that he finally understood my feelings.

But in the end, the facts told me that everything was just a delusion.

…………

During the summer vacation of my sophomore year, I worked during the day and returned to the temporary rented house to play games at night. He didn’t go online very much during the holidays, but I still liked to go online and wait for him, although sometimes I just played the game and did nothing, just staring at the friend list His name, even though many nights his name is gray, but I still never get tired of it.

The game has become my only pure land, because here I am his justifiable wife, everyone thinks he and I are lovers, I can be intimate with him openly and call him husband, but everything collapsed shortly after the beginning of my junior year , I finally woke up from self-deception.

He has always been a different person from me, and he has never understood my liking or even love for him.

His girlfriend somehow found out that he was playing the game, and then followed him to the game. After knowing that he actually had a wife in the game, he had a long fight with him. At first, he only said that he was playing in the game, but his girlfriend was in the game. noisy.

In the end, everyone knows that his girlfriend is his real girlfriend, so what about me?Who am I?

He was probably annoyed too, and finally he had to explain to his girlfriend that the account was a ladyboy, and he only said that he was a brother in the dormitory, so his girlfriend stopped.

But this silence is only for him, as long as the matter of me being a ladyboy is leaked out, I don’t need to think about who did it, but he never said that he wants to divorce, so I just pretended not to know, but since then His game time is spent with his girlfriend, taking her to level up, brushing his equipment, and teaching him how to play dungeons, just like teaching me step by step.

Not long after this happened, his girlfriend suggested that he invite some roommates in the dormitory to have dinner. It was unavoidable, so I had to go together, and I had to pretend that I didn’t care, but even so, his girlfriend still didn’t like me, I don't know if she found out, or if she's just worried about me occupying his in-game wife status.

She showed her affection for him in front of me. I don't know if she intended it or not, but I always feel that she did it on purpose to show me.

Li Hui and Fang Tian didn't seem to like that woman very much, anyway, they didn't enjoy the meal very much, except for his girlfriend.

…………

We maintained the illusion of harmony until the winter vacation of my junior year. I deliberately and selectively ignored everything related to his girlfriend, and I didn’t even play games. Except for class, eating, and sleeping, I just read books or novels every day. I didn’t want to go out more and more. , Insomnia became more and more serious, and the whole person became thinner and thinner.

That winter vacation should be the most uncomfortable winter vacation I have ever had since I went to college. I suffered from insomnia every night, and I was extremely anxious. I couldn’t even go to work. That winter vacation was supported by my previous savings.After many years, I called my psychiatrist again and communicated on the phone for half an hour every day. Before the start of school, I barely returned to normal, at least on the surface.

In the second semester of junior year, we don’t have many classes. He will go to accompany his girlfriend every weekend. He will go there on Friday night and come back on weekend night. Any position to redeem.

I dare not confess to him, my control becomes stronger and stronger after meeting him.

I'm not afraid of his rejection, nor afraid that he will hate me from now on, I just don't want to embarrass him, and I don't want him to bear the same burden as me. Since he is straight and likes women, how can I selfishly pull him into the abyss? Woolen cloth?I alone suffer enough.

He is the best person to me as long as I can remember. No matter what happens in the future, he will be different. He is not only my best friend in college, but also the only friend I have grown up with, and probably the only one in my life. friends?

Unique, what a beautiful word.

…………

Just when I had accepted his 'leave', he broke up with his girlfriend, which was near the summer vacation of junior year.

We seem to go back to the past, I can stick to him every day, but it’s all changed again, I buy the breakfast in the morning and I become me, and I go to the cafeteria to eat at noon and evening, and he plays games there, and I He wouldn't eat if he wasn't allowed to eat, and I even washed his clothes for him.

He said that playing games alone is boring, because Li Hui and Fang Tian no longer play games, and are busy dating or preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination all day long, so I started to spend all available time playing games with him, if it wasn't 11:4 at school In case of a power outage, the battery of the laptop can support up to [-] hours, so he may stay up all night every day.

I stayed with him like this, even though I knew he was sad because of a broken relationship, even though I was actually more uncomfortable than him.

In this way, the winter vacation came, because he was all in my life during this time, so I began to get used to it again, not used to being alone.

I found a job and would call him every few days, but I didn't mention that I stayed in the imperial capital. I have been in college for three years, but he never knew that he actually stayed in the imperial capital every vacation.

As for home, I don't have one at all.

This New Year is still only me, eating sauerkraut-flavored instant noodles in my rented hut.

I called him at 0:[-], he was on the phone after many calls, and I finally put down the phone.

…………

A month passed in such an unhurried manner.

There are very few classes in the senior year, and those who have completed the credits can already leave the school. The credits of the four of us in the dormitory have been completed. Li Hui and Fang Tian have left the school, and he and I are the only two left in the dormitory.

Probably he has come out of the broken relationship, so he seems to be in a good mood. The daily life of the "two-person world" makes me wish that such days can continue endlessly, until one day I accidentally heard his call.

It was Saturday, because I went to bed late the day before, so I woke up at 11 o'clock, and I didn't see him in the dormitory. I was going to the bathroom with a toothbrush or something to brush my teeth. When I opened the door, I saw him on the phone not far away. , because it is not far away, so I can hear his words very clearly.

"Isn't it only half a month?...Okay, I miss you too!...Then I'll see you next week...Then hang up...Okay, MUA."

He turned around and saw me after he hung up the phone. I tried to smile and said, "New girlfriend? Congratulations." Then I turned and walked towards the bathroom.

I kept pouring cold water on my face, but I still couldn't cool my hot eye sockets, so I stayed in the bathroom for 10 minutes that day, and when I returned to the dormitory after feeling normal, he was still standing at the door of the dormitory, seeing me Go in and follow in.

"I'm sorry." He came over and hugged me from behind, his voice low.

I froze there, my eyes that had just recovered began to heat up again, and then tears fell drop by drop. It was the first time I cried in front of him, but I was glad that he was behind me, so he couldn't see me.

"Why do you say I'm sorry! You have nothing to be sorry for me." I tried my best not to shout out.

"I will leave school in the afternoon." Instead of continuing the previous topic, he dropped another bomb.

"There are no classes. I will leave school in two days. I may go back to my hometown to work. How about you?" It was probably too sad, but I calmed down numbly.

"My family is in the imperial capital, and my family will not let me go anywhere else," he said.

"Oh.... The imperial capital is very good." The best thing is that I met you in the imperial capital.

…………

So starting that night, I was the only one left in the dormitory. Since then, we haven't seen each other or contacted each other.

Until the graduation dinner on the eve of graduation, we were arranged at the same table, but I didn’t sit next to him like before, and he didn’t sit over. We were alienated tacitly. For the first time in my life, I drank a lot of wine. I lost all consciousness, but my mind was already in chaos.

After dinner, I went to KTV again. Because there were so many people, I opened the largest box. Even so, I opened 3 seats before all of them sat down. He and I were still arranged in the same box. This time I took the initiative to sit in his Beside me, with the dim light in the box, I watched him carefully.

I will never see you again...