when she became "he"

On the first night at Zhao’s house, Xu Nuo couldn’t fall asleep peacefully. In such a hot weather, not to mention the air conditioner, he didn’t even have a fan. It can't change much, the sweat on the back is still sizzling, and it didn't take long for him to feel that his clothes were soaked, and then there was the problem of mosquitoes. For this species, Xu Nuo really saw it for the first time, but she The son was not happy, a large group of mosquitoes kept "buzzing" in her ears all night, Xu Nuo took a few shots, her hands were covered with bloodstains, and there was the sound of cicadas outside, she never knew the cicadas Being able to scream like this, I never stopped for a moment from day to night. I am used to quiet promises, and I can't sleep at all in such an environment.

After tossing and turning, she didn't know what time it was until she was extremely sleepy, and gradually fell asleep amidst the cries of mosquitoes and cicadas.

Xu Nuo had a dream, in which she witnessed the short life of a man named Zhao Wenwen.

Zhao Wenwen was not called Zhao Wenwen before. He used to be called Zhao Dawen. Even though he changed his name now, the people in the village still call him Dawen. It is said that this name was given by a fortune teller who passed by. Zhang Xiujuan also took Zhao Dawen to show the fortune-teller when he set up a fortune-telling stall in the village. When the fortune-teller saw Zhao Dawen, he called out, "This guy is extraordinary." But it was not very elegant. Zhang Xiujuan was naturally anxious when she heard this, so she asked the fortune teller to approve the words. Naturally, there was a little "pen fee" in it, so Zhao Dawen changed her name to Zhao Wenwen from then on.Although the fortune teller was exposed in the next village a few years later as a magic stick pretending to be a ghost, the name has been kept.

Even though the fortune teller was revealed to be a magic stick pretending to be a ghost, his previous words still left traces in Zhang Xiujuan's heart. People are always willing to believe good words, and Zhang Xiujuan hurt her body when she gave birth to Zhao Wenwen. That is, there is only such a son. In the countryside, more children are more important. Zhang Xiujuan has to have such a son. Naturally, other women in the village look down on her. Fortunately, Zhao Wenwen is a boy. If this is a girl, she may be drowned in saliva. So she also held her breath in her heart, thinking that if her son was more promising than everyone else, who would dare to talk about her.Zhao Wenwen was already in the sixth grade of elementary school at that time, and his academic performance had always been very good. Zhang Xiujuan seemed to see the hope of her son studying and becoming an official, so even though many children in the village stopped studying after finishing elementary school, Zhang Xiujuan insisted that her son continue to study in junior high school.

Studying is indeed a costly thing for rural people. Zhao Dazhu and his wife have never read a book and have no education. The best thing is that they can write their own names. Looking for some work in the city, in fact, there is not much that can be done, that is, as a porter to help people move things, the money earned by the husband and wife working non-stop for two years is just enough for the children's education expenses and some daily expenses.Because Zhao Wenwen spends a lot on studying, his family's situation in the village can be regarded as the bottom one.

During the New Year's Eve, children from other families can still have new clothes to wear, but Zhao Wenwen can only pick up their leftovers from his uncle's cousin or aunt.Because the children in the village often laughed at Zhao Wenwen for not having new clothes, the little Zhao Wenwen became more and more inferior, and his mind became sensitive. Most of the children who can study are from the town, their family background is much better than Zhao Wenwen's family, and their clothes are naturally many times better than his. When standing with them, Zhao Wenwen always feels that other people's eyes often fall on him On the old clothes that were too big.

The only hope for the low self-esteem and sensitive Zhao Wenwen is to be admitted to university to change his poor fate, make the villagers who looked down on him look up to him, and trample all the children who laughed at him, so he studies harder and harder, almost I spend all my time studying. I was fine in junior high school, but I went to the county to study in high school. The conditions of the people in the county are naturally better than those in the town and the village, and the quality of teaching is not comparable to that in the town. Zhao Wenwen In the middle school in the town, his grades were not bad, but the county middle school was full of talents, and Zhao Wenwen was like a stone entering the sea when he got there, and he couldn't come out again.

This only advantage has become a joke. Zhao Wenwen has become more inferior and gloomy. In addition, there are many students from the county and town in the county middle school. These people are very exclusive and form a group by themselves. Not in the county or in the town, he is not welcomed by any group, and his personality is really not good, so gradually he becomes invisible in the class, and usually no one will notice him Existence, even those in the same dormitory sometimes forget that there is such a person.

Zhao Wenwen's study career is probably like this: the front part is bright and the back part is dark, but the dark days of the three years of high school are not without a little color. When boys reach a certain age, there will always be such a person in their dreams, who is beautiful, generous, and attracts everyone. Zhao Wenwen also has such a person in his heart, that is the monitor of their class, Zhao Wenwen feels that in the whole class, probably only this very beautiful monitor remembers him, and the monitor does not He will look at him with different eyes like others, and will greet him with a smile when he meets him on the road.

The squad leader’s family is in a good family. I heard people say that her parents are from the county government, and she has an aunt who lives abroad, so her clothes are always the most fashionable in the class. Every time Zhao Wenwen meets her, she dare not look up. She, in contrast to her glamor and beauty, his own poor-quality clothes and pants, and these are leftovers from his cousins, Zhao Wenwen always feels very sad when he thinks about it.Seeing her cheering for the male students in the class on the basketball court, Zhao Wenwen also hated his clumsiness, why he couldn't play basketball, if he could, he would let her cheer for him.

The monitor's academic performance is very good, and Zhao Wenwen is working harder and harder, sometimes even staying up in the bed with a flashlight until midnight. At the beginning, he hoped to be admitted to the same university as the monitor, although even if he did go to a university, he would He may not have the courage to confess, but he just wants to be in the same place with her.

It's just that as the difference in grades between the two became larger, Zhao Wenwen became more and more irritable. Sometimes, some things really don't pay off if you work hard. Zhao Wenwen is not very good at science. It was suggested to him to choose liberal arts, but the trend at this time is to choose science. After hearing too much of the slogan "Learn mathematics, physics and chemistry well, you will not be afraid to travel all over the world", Zhao Wenwen also followed the trend and chose science, and then his lack of science It was also gradually revealed that when others took fewer subjects and their grades improved, his grades did not improve much.

Zhao Wenwen's ambivalence and promises are of course incomprehensible. She can only objectively see Zhao Wenwen's experience from childhood to adulthood. As for his emotions, these subjective emotions, she cannot feel them. Sentimental throbbing has never appeared in the promise's dictionary of life, so she couldn't understand it.

Xu Nuo is the only one who can be regarded as a friend in this life is Xia Ran who has often come to accompany her in the past two years. She also does not understand Zhao Wenwen's inferiority complex in front of the girl he likes, and Xu Nuo has no concept of money. , although her father does not love her mother, they have never been short of her materially, not to mention that she has two old people who love her. Unanimously left most of the property under the name to Xu Nuo. Relatively speaking, Xu Nuo's parents got relatively little, and those half-brothers and half-sisters got nothing at all. get.But maybe the two old people didn't expect that Xu Nuo would finish his life at such a young age.

When it was almost dawn, Xu Nuo woke up, lay quietly on the bed and recalled the dream of last night, she has now fully accepted the memory of Zhao Wenwen, Xu Nuo didn't know what was going on, she knew clearly that she Who is it, because her memory as a promise is exceptionally clear. She remembers everything since she can remember, but she also has the memory of Zhao Wenwen. Although it is a bit vague, she also remembers many people and things. Is this Soul fusion?Xu Nuo didn't know, probably no one could explain such mysterious and mysterious things.

The sky outside was gradually turning white, and the rooster shut in the yard began to crow in the morning, and the roosters in other houses farther away also began to crow. It didn’t take long before I heard the rustling sound from the kitchen, probably It was Zhao Dazhu and his wife who got up.

Xu Nuo looked at the sky at the window, there was only a little light in the sky, did he get up so early?

Witnessing Zhao Wenwen's life, Xu Nuo deeply felt the difficulty of the couple. Even if she was just a bystander, she was moved by them. Under such difficult circumstances, she still insisted on letting her children go to high school or even college. I have never been reluctant to eat a little good, and use a little good. All my savings have been used on my children. I haven’t added a new dress for several years. It turns out that the love of parents is really so selfless. It’s just that she promised to meet the little girl in the world There are exceptions.

No matter what, she will be Zhao Wenwen from now on, and what the promise is, what the promise's parents are, has nothing to do with her.

Also, she is no longer her, but "he"!

As for Zhao Wenwen, she can only silently say sorry for taking up his life and his family, but she will definitely honor his parents for him.