Simple addition of male gods and male gods

Cheng Yuexi never understood what he meant. In Cheng Yuexi's mind, Zeng Qi was not only his buddy, but also a "child". Probably because Zhao Jingxin said that Zeng Qi was a "child", so Cheng Yuexi was also influenced. He thought Zeng Qi was a "child". "child".

Zeng Qi is indeed quite childish. In addition to his outstanding academic performance, he seems extremely naive because of his lack of attention to other "mortal love, hatred, love and hatred, and daily necessities".

Cheng Yuexi asked, "Try what?"

Zeng Qi: "Go to bed."

Cheng Yuexi seemed to be frightened by his words, and avoided to the other side of the sofa.Zeng Qi was greatly hurt by his action, Zeng Qi said angrily, "What do you mean? Could it be that I can't?"

Cheng Yuexi was indeed frightened by him before, but at this time, he thought Zeng Qi was very funny, so he laughed out loud, "I don't know if you can do it, and I don't care."

Zeng Qi was very annoyed: "What do you mean? You don't like me?"

"It has nothing to do with whether you like it or not." Cheng Yuexi had a headache, "Why do you think like this, what is this? Are you out of your mind?"

Zeng Qi said: "It's true that I'm out of my mind. But Yuexi, since you broke up with Zhao Jingxin, why can't you try with me?"

Cheng Yuexi didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so he reached out and patted Zeng Qi's shoulder, saying: "But you are my buddy, not to mention that I don't accept casual hookups, but I really accept this kind of thing, then we did it, yes For me, it is no different from incest. I will really wither and have psychological shadows."

Zeng Qi looked at him in astonishment, "Then why don't you think it's indiscriminate to have sex with Zhao Jingxin, and just be with me?"

Seeing his unbelievable look, Cheng Yuexi suddenly felt that he was cute like this, which made him a little happy.

When Zeng Qi was about to stretch out his hand to pull him, he hugged Zeng Qi, leaned his face on his shoulder, and said with a smile: "Okay, okay, it's okay. You really don't need it."

"What's unnecessary?" Cheng Yuexi's breath brushed Zeng Qi's ears when he spoke, making his cheeks turn redder. He didn't know whether it was because of the effect of alcohol, or because of the skin-to-skin contact with Cheng Yuexi. The blood rushed to his brain, making his brain numb and excited.

Cheng Yuexi let go of Zeng Qi, and said seriously: "Zeng Qi, you don't have to do this for me. With a person like me, being a brother is always better than being a lover. This is my sincerity. Don't be serious. Love me, love me and I won't accept it."

Zeng Qi suddenly became angry, did he think he was crazy?Let the situation become like this."I'm not gay," he said angrily.

Seeing his resentment, Cheng Yuexi laughed again, and said, "I know, I know. Well, if people's pain can be alleviated through sex/love, then I don't think it is the real pain that touches the soul. "

Zeng Qi was going to push Cheng Yuexi away angrily, and let him stay away from him, but after hearing his words, he withdrew his hand again and asked: "What is the real pain that touches the heart, is it lovelorn?"

Cheng Yuexi: "No."

Zeng Qi: "What is that? Or, what are you referring to now?"

Cheng Yuexi looked at him with eyes like autumn water, these eyes seemed to contain infinite affection, and also seemed to be very cool and thin like inorganic glass.

Cheng Yuexi turned away his eyes after a while, and said: "Let me give you an example. When I was eight years old, one day, it rained heavily, and all my classmates were picked up by their parents, but no one came to pick me up. The teacher called my grandmother. I called, but my grandma didn’t answer the phone, so I had to wait at school while doing my homework. The teacher waited with me for a while, because she had something to deal with at home, so she had to leave, saying that my grandma came and would let me The guard informed me.

"I was worried that something happened to my grandma, so I didn't answer the phone. After the teacher left, I hurried home in the rain. I opened the door with the key, and the house was quiet. Grandma was not there. I called my aunt's house. No one answered the phone either, so I ran out of the house again, took an umbrella and went to my aunt's house.

"I was in the rain, thinking about a lot of things, such as why my parents are not like other people's parents, why my grandma suffers from old age, and her health is getting worse and worse. powerless.

"When I arrived at my aunt's house, there was no one there, and no one opened the door. It was already late at night, so I had to squat in front of my aunt's house for several hours covered in water."

"How did this happen?" Zeng Qi was completely attracted by his incident, "Why is there no one in your family?"

Cheng Yuexi said: "Because my grandma fainted suddenly, the family rushed her to the hospital, so they forgot to pick me up. When they realized that I called my teacher and found out that I was at school, they came to pick me up from school again. , I happened to be on the way home by myself, so I missed it."

Zeng Qi asked, "Is there any problem with this matter?"

Cheng Yuexi said: "My grandma fainted because my parents returned home suddenly and they were going to divorce. My grandma passed out because she was angry. My parents said afterwards that I shouldn't go home by myself, I should have been School, etc., someone will always pick me up, because I left the school by myself, so they couldn't find me, they were very anxious, saying that I was not sensible."

Zeng Qi: "..."

Cheng Yuexi sneered and said: "I was very sad at the time and wished I could run away from home. But where can I go? My grandma is hospitalized. Without her, even if I die outside, no one will really care. I don't care about it now. I still remember the faces of my parents at that time. They blamed an eight-year-old child sanctimoniously, saying that he should not leave school, making them anxious, making them look for someone in the heavy rain, making them wear shoes and clothes. Wet... Anyway, it's the child's problem. How precious their anxiety is, it's wasted on a child like this. I think it's better not to have this child. Look, how much he has brought to these two people trouble."

Zeng Qi was heartbroken and said, "Don't say that about yourself."

Cheng Yuexi pursed his lips and remained silent for a while, then said coolly: "I thought at the time, I don't want to receive any favor from these two people, even if I am alone, I can do it."

Zeng Qi stared at him dazedly, not knowing how to comfort him.

Cheng Yuexi said: "But I can't, I want to accept their upbringing, I want to spend their money, otherwise, what can I do? I hate myself like this. Zeng Qi, I have always been afraid, I am afraid of forming a spiritual The mentality of relying on others, but I am also afraid that I will lose the ability to have intimacy with people. You see, my body and soul have been imprinted by them. This imprint, because I carry their genes, has been imprinted since I was born. When I die, I will follow me. I hate myself more than I hate them. Zeng Qi."

Zeng Qi opened his mouth, he always felt that he had a lot to say, but he didn't say a word.

The room fell into silence, as if the air conditioner was gone, and the two of them were in some kind of vacuum world.

Cheng Yuexi took a deep breath, looked up at the ceiling with a dazed expression, and said softly, "Actually, I don't have the ability to fall in love. Brother Jing Xin has been tolerant of me."

Zeng Qi raised his hand to wipe his face, and found that his fingers were stained with moisture, and then realized that he had shed tears.

He turned his head away in a concealed manner, and asked, "Have you told Zhao Jingxin all these things?"

Cheng Yuexi shook his head, "I dare not tell him. But he is so smart, he knows. He said I should see a psychiatrist."

Zeng Qixin said, then go see a psychiatrist, it won't hurt to have a look.

Zeng Qi thought that he didn't know Cheng Yuexi as well as he thought. Although he felt that he loved Cheng Yuexi, this kind of love was just his self-righteous feeling.

Zeng Qi remained silent, Cheng Yuexi stood up suddenly and said, "Thank you, Zeng Qi. I want to go back to school."

"Oh, okay." Zeng Qi looked up at him, and slowly got up.

The two returned to school, and they were silent all the way.

About Cheng Yuexi dissected himself in front of Zeng Qi, which made him very concerned, so for a long time after that, Cheng Yuexi never asked Zeng Qi to have dinner with him again.

Cheng Yuexi is still the same, but Zeng Qi has changed a lot.

In the dead of night, he often thinks about the night described by Cheng Yuexi, when it rained heavily, a child hurried home in the rain with a schoolbag on his back, but there was no one at home.

Zeng Qi realized that he didn't know Cheng Yuexi at all before.

His parents have a harmonious relationship and love him very much. Wherever he goes in this world, he knows that there are parents who will worry about him and look forward to his return.

But Cheng Yuexi didn't, he decided in his heart that no one cared about him.Even Cheng Yuexi himself denied his existence.What kind of pain would it be if you loathed yourself?

Zeng Qi was able to say "go to bed" to Cheng Yuexi before, but when he realized that he really loved Cheng Yuexi, it was impossible for him to say that kind of thing anymore. Even the daily topics he talked with Cheng Yuexi, he had to roll every word in his heart before he dared to say it.

Many years later, Zeng Qi watched a movie, and the movie said: "Like is presumptuous, but love is restrained." He was suddenly in a trance.

The author has something to say: Zhi Zhi: Teacher Zeng, I think that according to your situation, Teacher Cheng would not agree to you if he was not with Zhao Jingxin.

Zeng Qi: Why?

Zhizhi: Has no one ever said that you are very straight and cancerous in love?

Zeng Qi: ... I don't have straight male cancer, I don't!

Squeak: Well, no no.Mr. Cheng is your friend, which shows that he is really a gentle and kind person.

Zeng Qi: He has always been very good.