our psalms

"The child grabs my hand!"  …

When I raise my head, there will always be such a clear and bright shadow, always guiding me in the lost way tirelessly.But why, his shadow became more and more blurred and weak, and even his smile began to look so bitter and powerless.But the only thing that remains the same is that sentence, grab his hand, hold his hand tightly.Only those hands can pull me back from the edgeless abyss, only those hands can separate me from reality and despair, and let me know that I still exist in this world.

But why, that face, it changed.It was a more familiar and kinder face, with three neat lines on the broad forehead, those slightly squinted eyes, and that smile, so shocking and haunting.

"Grab my hand, Cheng'er!"

"uncle"

"It will be fine, uncle promises that nothing will happen to you."

Are there no tears? Everything is so firm and true. Is he really the protagonist who played this scene? Maybe I am still in a lost state, unable to extricate myself, and will never be able to extricate myself.

But in the end I struggled to climb up, climbed from the edge of despair.I saw the most psychedelic and intoxicating scenery in the world. Lao Cao looked at me with a smile and held my face in his hands. She told me: "Uncle will never let you suffer any harm again." harm, any..."

Like a wayward child, I leaned on his arms and wept presumptuously. While washing away the scars on my face with tears, I savored his tenderness and taste to my heart's content.

"Uncle, I know, this is a dream!" I looked up at him, and the tears didn't stop circling. "Before you disappear, let me see you more..."

"Silly boy, uncle won't disappear, uncle will always be by your side..." He put his hand on my head and stroked, "You finally hug me again, little brother!" When that voice suddenly changed into In another tone, from those bright and dull eyes, I saw another self, another ugly one, but the real self.

"How long have you been waiting for this moment?"

"Yes, I love you as much as your father!"

"Then why do you insist on asking me to leave?"

"It's not me, it's you who asked you to leave!"

"Myself?"

"It's not easy to lie to yourself, just look at your tears!"

"You don't talk like that, you're not an uncle, you're not!!!"

"Then who am I?" Uncle Tian smiled unfathomably, "Come with me, let's go back and hug you like I brought back that poor child who was covered in scars and almost died, okay?"

I looked into his deep eyes, as if I went back to that day again.I took his hand and fell down gently, the blood on my face mixed with the rain and dripped into the soil, but I saw the despair and sadness in the eyes under the brim of the hat in the distance, he stretched out his hand, unable to grasp the last A trace of desolation.

"Let go of me!" I yelled, "It can't be like this, I love him!!!"

"Love?"

"Yes, love!"

"You are finally willing to speak out!"

"what?"

"Do you know what love is, little brother?"

"you know?"

"At least I know it won't be so!"

"What?"

"so!"

Uncle Tian suddenly let go of his hands. In front of him was a boundless cliff. I screamed loudly and was pushed down by him.

"Uncle!!!!" I came back to my senses from that upside-down sleep in amazement. The eastern sky was dyed red by the dawn of dawn. Uncle Tian was standing on the other side of the platform rails and waving to me. Here comes the roar of the train...

"Quick, get up, little brother, the car is coming!" A few scattered people began to gather in the middle of the platform, and the sleeping uncle in the reception room finally stood up from the chair for the first time, took a small Hongqi walked out of the small room.

As if my spirit was still in a trance, Uncle Tian jumped in front of me in three steps and two steps, and took out the large handful of change from the bag, one piece, ten yuan and ten fast. ...

At that moment, my heart was inexplicably entangled.The train came in front of us, and the little red flag in the man's hand kept waving in front of my eyes. My eyes became dazed and lifeless. The door of the train carriage opened slowly, and the people on it began to get off the train one after another. Immediately I I am about to bid farewell to this world of tranquility and vitality, and soon I will return to a highly developed modern civilized society. Which one is what I am yearning for? Am I really confused because of this? Why do I still have to lie? To myself, just like what Uncle Tian said in the dream, am I really lying to myself?

No, even so, I will continue to lie.I have completely lost the faith and firmness I used to have. I am no longer me, no, I am no longer Lao Cao's Cheng'er, I should not belong to that society full of cunning and hatred!

I turned around and threw away everything on my body, including the Uncle Tian's leather jacket that I had worn all night, and the half bread, which rolled and fell under the rails where the train was parked.And I, in an instant, started to run backwards like a crazy wild horse. While running, I firmly told myself that that was not the journey I should embark on, my journey was over, and Wang Zicheng was dead.I am just a monster, there is no corner in the real world that can accommodate me.

"Come back, come back!" Uncle Tian quickly chased after me while picking up the things I had thrown away.

In my consciousness, no one exists anymore, not even myself.

"Don't run, come back, come back..." Uncle Tian chased me across the platform and the uneven stone steps panting.And suddenly, at that moment, the voice behind me suddenly stopped.In turn, there was a continuous and long-lasting loud noise.

……

I still remember the middle of the small fence surrounded by very short corn stalks.He always had that eternal, simple, honest and deep smile, and he always surrounded me, never giving me a chance to look at the moonlight and cry.

"Chang'e lives in the moon, and there is a rabbit. I heard that she has lived there for thousands of years." The uncle said silently, "She has a rabbit, and you have one too."

"What's the point of living for a long time? She endures loneliness alone. What kind of torture will it be for hundreds of thousands of years?"

"Brother, you don't only have the rabbit, you also have the uncle! Although the uncle didn't live as long as that Chang'e fairy, but luckily the uncle met you, otherwise he would be the same... lonely."

……

In the endless melody that never stops, who is singing all the time, no regrets, no pain.Even for a lifetime, I still sing day after day, year after year.Who distorted the tranquility, who stopped the melodiousness, and who made the eternal tranquility agitated.

Looking at Uncle Tian who fell and rolled down from the high stone steps, and seeing that ferocious smiling face without a trace of resentment or regret in his eyes, I screamed in despair:

"Uncle!!!..."

He was lying on the moss-stained concrete slab, and blood oozed out from the back of his head, forming a pool of red and blue blood.His hands squirmed slightly, and the corners of his mouth were still trembling.

I quickly ran to him, squatted down weakly, and picked him up from the ground, tears instantly blurring my vision.

"Uncle!!! No...!!!"

His bloody hands slowly stretched out from behind, and he held a large handful of one-dollar bills and brought them to me, with an almost completely unchanged calmness and a naive smile, "Go back, go back, Go back to you, your father..."

"Is there anyone!! Help, help!!!" I shouted urgently, "Please, God, help!!!"

"Son, uncle is fine..." His voice became weaker and weaker, and his breathing became more and more rapid.

"Don't...uncle, don't...don't..." My hands and clothes were stained red by the blood flowing from his body, "No, you will be fine, uncle, no!!!"

He was still smiling and looking at me; "You finally hugged me again, little brother!"

It was the words in the dream, and it became real.But why is it in such a situation, is everything inevitable.

I used all my strength to hold him, and he held my hand tightly with his last strength. At that moment, I saw his tears. I have never even seen him cry, but why? , with a smile.

At this moment, a flower-green figure ran out from the platform. He ran towards us quickly, his face could not be seen clearly through his blurry eyes, and he skillfully took out the first-aid kit from the backpack he was carrying.

"Press him tight, fast, hard!!!"

"I beg you, save my uncle, please!"

"I will try my best, help him quickly, put his hand on his head, and stop his blood from flowing out!"

While I was crying, I followed what the strange man said. Uncle Tian slowly let go of my hand, and slowly lowered it.

"Uncle, don't give up, don't!!!"

"Turn him over, quick! Lie flat on the ground and cover the wound on the back of his head with your hand!"

The man in the camouflage uniform began to press the uncle's chest hard again and again, "Don't sleep, hold on!"

"Uncle, no...don't..."

Not long after, the strange man who seemed to be very helpful finally touched the uncle's nose and let out a long sigh. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, patted my shoulder, and said: :"He left already……"

When I heard that sentence, my mind went blank.No words can describe my sadness and despair at this moment. I lowered my head and fell on the uncle's chest.