The third option: I am uncle control

Everything seems to happen naturally, the meeting place is just downstairs of the building where he is, outside the door of the unit that Xiaolu is all too familiar with; the time is also the time when his all-too-familiar uncle gets home from get off work.

When the sun is at its brightest in the west, the uncle appears on time, just like every day.Seeing Xiaolu, his steps slowed down, and a smile appeared on his face, which could be seen as a kind of smug smile.

Xiaolu finally saw that mysterious face, which overlapped with what he had imagined and was also pleasantly surprised.It was a calm, relaxed and relieved face, without traces of vicissitudes, nor a sophisticated smile.The only thing is a child-like temperament that is beyond his expectations.The thick eyebrows, the extraordinarily clean skin, and the neat and white teeth have the power to pull people closer at once.

Hello.The uncle stretched out his hand in a little surprise.

Didn't expect you to be so small.

Koji also held out his hand.It was the first time he had seen the hand so closely, not through a telescope, thick and stubby and white and powerful.A warm power went straight to the palm of my hand.

In an instant, Xiaolu had the illusion of going home.

how old do you think i am

Thought you were at least 30 years old.His voice is clear, with a slight foreign accent.

26 years old.How about it, the beauty in my heart is blooming.You just laughed very proudly.

Hmm, it looks exactly like what I imagined.The uncle smiled triumphantly again, very lightly, but more like a child.

Let's go up and talk.The man lifted the cloth bag in his hand, it was made of turquoise non-woven fabric, and he couldn't see what was hidden inside.

There were only the two of them in the elevator box, and Xiao Lu looked at the cloth bag.

I can help with dinner.

Well, let's just make a soup, everything else is ready-made.

The uncle's voice is not loud, calm, as if casually chatting with an old friend.

Xiaolu stopped talking, and a strong feeling seized Na's heart. It was a feeling of déjà vu. He remembered that he had imagined this scene: standing with him in such a place, facing the familiar and mysterious room. advance.Yet at this very moment, it is being fulfilled.

The moment the elevator door opened, Xiaolu felt his legs tremble slightly.

The uncle skillfully opened the door with the key card and let him in.

The pace of Xiaolu is slow and solemn, he knows that this is a moment of historical significance for him, the scene that he has guessed countless times, just like this at this moment has become an irreversible reality.

Brown linen blanket, as clean as new.A gray carpet covers the floor of the small living room.The uncle closed the door behind him, took off his leather shoes, and stepped on the carpet with white socks, as if advertising the carpet.

Cleaner than you think, right?Putting down the bag and keys in his hand, he looked into his eyes.

come in.

Stepping on the carpet, there is a strange and warm feeling, like revisiting the old place, and returning to your own home.Intimacy and familiarity, everything is in experience and memory, constantly bridging and overlapping with what we see in reality, with strong senses.

There is a very faint masculine smell in the air, which is a unique smell of a man's living space, a smell of skin, a smell of life, which is not easy to be captured, but runs through every separated space.Xiaolu saw the kitchen from a different angle, different distance, and the same utensils and furnishings, all in a fixed space, with a strong sense of time and space, like flipping through old photos that are familiar but almost forgotten after many years.

The uncle didn't take off his clothes and go straight into the bathroom as usual, but moved the cloth bag into the kitchen and looked back at himself.The middle-aged man doesn't have any bloatedness at all, he is strong and upright, with lovely flesh, he can even be said to be fat and neat, and it is not an exaggeration to say that he is a different kind of handsome.

Did you bring any wine?

yes.Xiaolu handed him the paper bag, stood in front of the kitchen door, and observed the faint gray light from the shiny metal stove, which was extremely clean.

The uncle carefully found the number on the wine label, and pouted his lips mischievously. In an instant, he was a big boy.

It seems that today is another challenge.The uncle tapped the wine bottle with his index finger.I have never drunk such a high degree, 21 degrees.

real?

Well, the red wine that I have been exposed to before is only half of this.

I wanted to give you some tea, but then I realized that I didn't understand much, so I compromised.

The uncle took out two cups from the cabinet and shook them: I didn't expect that there would be a day when they would come in handy.

Have you never thought of using it, or is it just a fluke?Xiaolu looked into his eyes mischievously.

Well, if you say so... it's a bit of a fluke, so it's ready.

Any luck with a girl coming to the house?

Hehe, it doesn't have to be a girlfriend.

Xiaolu smiled, seeing that he was still wearing his daytime suit, and his white socks were stepping on the linen rug.In that way, he looked like his own man, not a friend he just met.

I'm going to prepare. There is food in the bag, please open it for me.The uncle said to him, looked him in the eyes with a smile, and exited the kitchen sideways.When he came back, he put on white home clothes and was barefoot.It is rare to see such a pair of men's feet. They are not thin, they are healthy and strong, with a little sensuality, but they are not stupid like meat buns. The toes are well-proportioned, and there are no extra growths and thick calluses. Just look at these feet. The owner has a pampered health, in short, it is so perfect that it can be photographed and put into art textbooks.

What's wrong?Seeing Xiaolu's eyes fall on his feet, he moved his short toes reflexively, which was really fun.

Xiaolu took his food bag and took out all the food inside.Cooked lamb chops, chicken legs, a cold dish that I have never seen before, and spiced peanuts.The uncle washed his hands, took the trays he handed over, put them in and arranged them one by one.

The man opened the refrigerator and took out two tomatoes, dripping with water.

You want to make soup?

That's what I do best.The uncle smiled confidently, and picked up the western knife in his hand. The knife, which had been seen countless times through the telescope, was clean, long and narrow, and glowed with an elegant white light.Looking at it, Xiaolu felt a strange happiness in his heart.

In this way, the man cuts the ingredients, and Xiaolu shabu-shabu.Turn on the stove, the pure green fire, almost brand new tableware.Everything in this house, including the clothes and shoes on his body, is as if he just moved back from the store in the morning. It is brand new, but it is completely different from the newly renovated house. The space has a reassuring home atmosphere. .Xiaolu admired in his heart, being in this small world of living masters, everything is more intuitive and thorough than in the camera.

The moment he turned around to wash the tomatoes, the air around his body swirled, Xiaolu caught a trace of the clean skin smell of an adult male, as well as the heat of that body.The soft cuffs of home clothes brushed Xiaolu's wrist, making the air in the kitchen suddenly familiar and fresh.

He caught a glimpse of the neatly hung apron behind the door, and imagined what it would be like if, as usual, this was all he had on him.

Put the ingredients into the pot and cover.He said to Xiaolu: It's done, I'll show you my nest.

He followed him into the room, a room that could not be seen through the telescope.The ground of more than ten square meters is covered with light yellow tatami mats. In the center of the room is a small bamboo table with an incense burner on it.There is a clear vase on the window sill, with seven water bamboos soaked in clean water.

This is my meditation room, come in.

The uncle's bare feet stepped on the tatami mats, and the soft sound was quiet and sweet.He followed him in, approached the vase, and looked at the bamboo.

There is no way, the bamboo in the south cannot be grown here, so we have to use bamboo instead.

I thought you kept cats, but I didn't expect you only kept bamboo.

Why?The uncle turned his face away.

I heard that nine out of ten people who keep cats are the same, so it is logical to suspect a guy like you who is still a virgin at this age.Xiaolu said tentatively.

You always talk about my age, how old am I?The uncle didn't answer him directly.

To be honest, the criterion for whether a man is old or not is not the face or the neck, but another criterion. In order to maintain my image when we meet for the first time, I'd better not say anything.

The uncle laughed, as if he understood the hidden meaning.

They sat down on tatami mats, facing each other.

Are you a disciple of Buddha?Xiaolu asked.

I haven't converted yet, but spiritually love that feeling.

what kind of feeling?

Clean, peaceful, isolated from the world.

Then this meditation room is not a place for practicing?

For the time being, I meditate, just like a girl practicing yoga, or as a hobby.

I heard that sitting in meditation may inspire people's magical powers, do you have it?

No.Uncle laughed.I doubt that you have supernatural powers, otherwise how could you draw such a likeness of a person you have never met before.

When I was chatting with you, I was sketching out strokes in my mind, and by that day, I had almost finished the work, and it really was like that.Every word you type has a face.

Maybe you are really gifted with words, I would like to read your essays.

I also want to read yours, and you said that I will read it if I have a chance.

Well, wait a minute.he got up.

When the pair of clean and thick feet came back to him, there was a large stack of paper bags and two glasses of juice in his hand.

A total of ten paper manuscripts were sealed in ten paper bags, with printed labels affixed: title of work, year of creation, without author's signature.

"So many, never thought of publishing?" Xiaolu was surprised.look up and ask.

No, just like growing bamboo, purely for self-entertainment, I didn't expect to attend a gardening expo.The man smiled lightly.This is a kind of metabolism for me. Every year, a story is naturally formed in my heart. There is no process of conception. I just transcribe it, like a printer, and strictly speaking, I am not an author.My principle, as I told you, is to compress my influence and effect on the world as much as possible, and then as much as possible.

Infinitely restrained?

Pretty much, as best I can, as much as possible.

The world is trying to oppose you as much as possible.Xiaolu smiled.

Let them go, most people have never seen the night sky of Xing'an Mountains.

How to say this?

I told you the other day that I spent half a year alone in the mountains, that is, in the Xing'an Mountains in the north, where there is no artificial light at night.On nights when there is no moon, I just look at the stars in the open field. Under that condition, there are more stars than you can imagine. They are so close to you, and there is a strong overwhelming momentum. People lying there are really small Extremely, like a fallen pine needle in Xing'an Mountains.

Small……

Well, from then on, I knew that man can conquer nature is a kind of self-deception. There is no way, most people are always willing to face fake things. The first feeling that the truth brings to people is often fear and anger, because everyone is exposed to the truth on weekdays. There are too few and too few things, and they all regard the false as the real, and this is the case all their lives. Once the truth is revealed, people will go crazy, people care too much about themselves, don't they?

The most direct impact of development on people's hearts is complacency and expansion.It seems that one day, suddenly there is a slogan to express oneself, which is an unparalleled big mistake.

yes.The man sighed slightly.Fortunately, there are very few people who have not done so.

Are you one of the very few?

I'm one of those who are struggling.

The world needs to grow up. Today, human beings are still ignorant children.

Well, you say the same thing as my mother.

she is far away

Thousands of miles away, living with my father and younger brother.

Let me guess: the kind of old people who live a rich life, have a strong background, have no worries in life, live it to their heart's content, have no worries, no intentions and no desires, just a cup of white tea, and are satisfied with the whole world?

almost.

She doesn't miss you very much when you're not around?

Well, she sees everyone as temporary, including her own children.Treat everyone indifferently, without attaching too much emotion.

Do old people believe in Buddhism?

Yes, not as a belief, but as a discipline, tirelessly, my father is the same as her, the two are not like a husband and wife, but more like brothers and sisters.

It's a very peculiar family, and the feeling of living at home will be different.

Well, when my classmates and friends come to my house as guests, they can clearly feel that it is not ordinary, not like a family, but like a school.

Your brother has a different personality than you?

Yes, he is more dependent on his parents. He is not married yet, and it is said that he has never been in love. He is one and a half years younger than me.

You are not going to get married?

Not very sure, I have never seriously thought about this issue once, not to escape, but feel that it is not so necessary.Getting married and having children is a major event in life - I think this ancient saying is a misunderstanding and misinterpretation of life, and it is not a good idea.It is a big mistake that different people grow up in different environments and have different temperaments, but they have to walk the same path.For example, water bamboo can be soaked in a water bottle, but moso bamboo cannot, right?

Yes, in nature, we must follow the rules of nature.

Violating the rules will naturally give birth to many, many unnecessary stories.

Your style is that my life has as few stories as possible?

almost.

This world is really a unity of opposites, there are people who live high-profile lives, and there are people like you who ignore yourself.

Ha ha, arranged by nature.

However, it seems that your story is still quite a lot.Xiaolu looked at the large stack of sealed manuscripts.

I believe you can do it too, everyone, every year, can write maybe more than one story if they want to.

smile at each other.

Facing his childlike smile, Xiaolu felt gentle and stable.He never imagined that there would be such a day when he sat across from each other at the table, laughing and talking, all of this was sudden, but warm.

what are you thinking about?The uncle asked with a smile.

I wondered how this day could have happened so quickly.

The day we met?

Yes.

unreal is it?

Ok.

I also have the same feeling, I am not ready to meet guests at home within two years of coming to this city, let alone meet a friend who I just talked about on the Internet.

In fact, there is no need to be too sensitive to the Internet, but it is just a communication channel. If it is a pen pal, maybe I feel more comfortable?

Probably.

Whether it is a netizen, a pen pal, a classmate, or a colleague, they are all labels.This is a world full of labels, tear off all the labels, the world is pure and simple.

Nice tag theory, your original?

Well, my graduation thesis in college.

Are you studying philosophy?

sociology.

Oh?

Very rare isn't it.This was beyond my expectation. I wanted to read the news, but I became a reporter, and I shot everywhere with a camera.

Well, you look like a reporter, I felt like I was participating in an interview just now.

Hey, right, at your age, you have a high position in the company, right?President?

The man shook his head: three words.

Oh, then I see.Xiaolu smiled.Don't like that title, right? That word will be blacked out in our conversations from now on.

The uncle laughed, showing his neat white teeth: Thank you.

Thank you, don't use diplomatic rhetoric in home clothes and bare feet.

it is good.

Koji saw his eyebrows relax to a considerable angle.

Although...you are so much younger than me, but I hope we can talk about anything, I don't know why, it's strange, I'm not reserved when I'm talking with you, like when I'm talking on MSN.So, maybe when chatting online, my tone is a bit too casual, or it makes people feel uncomfortable.Someone said this to me in the past, so I don't chat online very much, it always makes people feel unkind.

There is indeed one thing, but fortunately, I have seen half of your profile and your body shape, and I know that you are a very easy-going person.

Just one glance, you know?

Of course, I look at men like you look at words.People of your size are the kindest.Maybe your position and social status make people feel a certain distance or superior, but tearing off all the labels related to your career, such as office, suit, car and business card, and restoring it to the person will make the feeling more real.

We don't talk about careers. The careers that most people talk about are actually occupations, a way to support themselves and their families, and a way to survive.

Hmm, similar to monkeys picking apples from trees, mice carrying eggs, and mosquitoes sucking blood?

Huh, it's fun talking to you.

You too, much like one of my college professors.

Always take the tone and tune, and the outline is on the line, right?

No, it is a very chic, eloquent and calm, not annoying, don't worry.

You are very caring about people.The uncle tilted his head and looked at him.There are not many kids your age.

Probably because I have no friends all the time, the love has been dispersed into fraternity, and I seem to care about people, but in fact I am very rough.

You are straightforward without being rough.Uncle corrected.

Maybe, other people's evaluation is more accurate than self-evaluation, I listen to you.

Hehe, have you never found a girlfriend?

I didn't take the initiative to find it.

A boy like you should be very conspicuous on campus. Although he is a bit fat, there are quite a lot of girls who like fat people now.

Indeed, but I don't like my peers, they always give people the feeling that they are too thin and weak.I still like kind-hearted, really mature people, who have the feeling of a little sun.

How does the little sun feel?

Well, that's the feeling of staying by his side, being irradiated by him all the time, allowing yourself to gain, improve and evolve. It's a great feeling.just like you.

I don't know, I think you are much more radiant than me.

That's because I'm a little more extroverted than you, I'm radiation, you're radiation, invisible, but more terrifying, understand?

It is better to have fewer people studying sociology.

The two looked at each other and laughed, Xiaolu could see that he was really happy.

Hey, having said that.The uncle said, don't you feel lonely if you don't find a girlfriend?

You don't feel lonely either?

Of course lonely.But loneliness is with you and me, I am afraid it is a compliment.

The uncle laughed, an unreadable smile.He stared intently at his tender face.

It's not a bad thing to be alone with you and me. For those who love purity, purity will not seem annoying.The man switched his cross-legged legs and gently rubbed the soles of his feet with his wide palm.

But humans are social animals after all.

Of course it is convenient to live in groups, which is the greatest blessing that cities bring to mankind.However, I prefer people to be family animals, but families vary in size, and there are some, one person is a family.

Well, makes sense.You yourself are an example.

Isn't it strange that the bigger the city, the more lonely people there are?No matter you young people or me who is in your mouth for a few years.

You want to say, whether you are lonely or not, whether you are happy or not, has nothing to do with the number of people, but with your own heart?

Everything that is not true is an illusion, and all appearances are false.

It seems that you are an idealist.

Well, my past classmates and teachers have said so.

But having said that, idealism or materialism, I think this classification is a mistake at all.

oh?how to say.

I wrote a paper on this topic. I think it is too irresponsible to generalize the way of understanding the world into idealism and materialism. Think about it: why do you have to classify like this?Is this classification correct?

Well, go on.

A very simple example: the definition of materialism is that the material world is not transferred by the human heart, but the problem is here - human beings rely on the material world to judge the outside world - that is, consciousness.For example, chili peppers are spicy. This is an electrical signal transmitted by the tongue to the brain through nerves, and the brain tells us that it is spicy. If no one has ever eaten chili peppers, is chili peppers still spicy?

Then there is no such experience that chili is hot.

So, this material world is defined by the human mind, and it is people who make trouble for themselves and complicate simple problems.

But you haven't finished explaining - can the material world really be changed by people's will?

Of course - do you like apples?

I don't like to eat, there is nothing delicious.

But I love to eat, apple is the most delicious fruit.

That is to say, for the same apple, its value is 5, but in my perception, it is 1, but in yours, it is 10, or the human will judges the material world, right?

Do you love applesauce?

Applesauce is still delicious, I do.

That's all I'm going to say, people who don't like apples make lovely applesauce out of their hated apples.

Can the material world be transferred by human will?

right.It is human beings who change the material world, and it is human will that makes people act.Just look at the outside and you will know that human will has changed this material world beyond recognition.

That's great, Apple is such a great thing, it always allows people to see new worlds.The man let out a long breath.

It's not over yet—maybe you will say, whether it's apples or applesauce, people haven't changed anything, everything is still a molecule.

This is true.But 500 years ago, the Buddha said that everything in the world is composed of emptiness, a kind of extremely small dust particles close to the void. This was incomprehensible at the time, but today, we all know what it means They are things like molecules and atoms.But almost everyone defines Buddhism as the opposite of science.Well, also, Buddhism or Buddhism, this name has always been subject to speculation.

Religion and science, I have always doubted the correctness of this classification.

I agree.The man rubbed his ears and looked at the fine lines on the table.Originally, those things in the universe are ABCDE, but people have to divide ABC into one group and call it science, and BCDE into one group and call it religion, and take them apart alive. The overlapping parts of BC can only be casually defined as inconceivable, Mysteries of nature, unraveled and the like.

This is my theory of labeling. Everything is just like that. It is people who insist on labeling on their own will, making this world a mess.

So you advocate tearing off the label?

This matter cannot be advocated, and we can only play it behind closed doors. Once it is promoted, it will be messed up, and people will definitely be outraged: Why do you tear me up completely?I've been busy all my life drawing pictures, isn't it just these labels, I've torn them all up or something?So it cannot be promoted.If there are too many people involved in something, it will definitely be more troublesome. The greatest ability of a person is not to know how to use tools, but to infinitely complicate things that are originally simple.

Well, that's right, it makes the simple things infinitely complicated.

For example, the so-called science and religion just mentioned.

The opposite is not science and religion per se, but those who ideally label those things in the universe as science and religion. The problem lies with people, right?

That's right.All wars, disputes, and ignorance are all because of people, not the principles of things themselves.Applying the infinite to the finite is a big problem in itself.

But there is no way, people's own cognitive ability is very limited, and people are very selfish, and they are becoming more and more selfish.

It makes sense, as far as the universe is concerned, human beings have only existed for a few years, and they are still children who cry when their toy houses are knocked down by others, and want to snatch things from their brothers when they see that they are good.A praying mantis dares to block a car, and of course a child wants to go to the sky.

Well, you and I are the same.

So, the Buddha said 500 years ago that all beings are equal.

Do you also believe in Buddhism?

I think there is a problem with the idea of ​​whether you believe it or not. It has been more than 2000 years, and nothing has changed. I didn’t believe it in the past, but I believe it now. It was the loss of people in the past, and the gain of people now. Whether you believe it or not has nothing to do with the subject matter itself. Like it or not.

willing to accept?

Why do you have to cover your eyes and say that I didn't see the things that were placed there.As you know, I've always been someone who doesn't read the label.Whether it is so-called science, religion, fallacy, truth, right or wrong, tear off the label, take it all, put it in your mouth, and digest what you can digest, and what you can't digest, like Food coloring and saccharin will go away by themselves, depending on your own physical characteristics, whether it has an influence or not, and if you tear off the label of yourself, nothing is important.

Without my boundaries?

The realm of selflessness is also a label.In the past it was called Wuwu, but now it is called FREETHEMIND.It's like a pair of innocent sneakers. If you put a check mark on it, it's called Nike, and if you put a wrong number on it, it's Xtep.What consumers are obsessed with is the label, not the sneakers themselves.When they know the truth, when they become angry, they will label the truth as impossible, and then continue to be persistent.

Really powerful.

Say me?

Say your label theory.

The labeling theory itself is also a label. This label is just for the convenience of identification and search. In fact, the truth is already there. I am not the inventor, I am just the discoverer. The powerful one is nature itself.

Hehe, that's true, smart little guy.The man looked at his small mouth with joy.

Actually, you are stronger than me.Xiaolu took a sip of the juice, and his voice became much more palatable.

You said our work?

That's right, you have your own labeling company, which can label products with different labels, create wealth, and directly contribute to the country's GDP.

It sounds like irony at the moment, ha ha.

How come, the same knife depends on what it is cutting. If you cut vegetables well, the label is a master chef; if someone cuts people well, the label is an executioner.

She is so cute that she is called Sun Erniang.

Well, there is also a subsidiary label called dominatrix, the more labels, the higher the added value, the norm of the media industry.Things are worthless, if you change the label, maybe the salted fish will turn around.

It's more and more like satirizing me, haha.

Okay, okay, we are all like-minded people, regardless of you and me.Look at the two of us, like freshman students, endless.Xiaolu reminded, is the soup ready?

The utensils on the dining table are simple, with two wine glasses separated on the left and right.Two spoons for self-help.

When you cook the soup, don't you look at it?

Well, the method I figured out by myself, after the food is put into the pot, there is no need to take care of it, and everything is just right when it comes out of the pot.The man smiled proudly and handed over the spoon.

try it.

Well, better than me.Xiaolu praised.Can this recipe teach me?

I only teach my lover.

Hmm, the most expensive home remedy I've ever heard of.Xiaolu smiled lightly.

I said, how long are you going to be single?The man looked up at him.

Like you, didn't think about it seriously as a problem, just let it go, I don't know how the script that belongs to me is written.

indeed.Especially things like fate.

Sounds negative doesn't it?

Not negative.Flowers bloom at maturity, fall into the river, and turn into spring mud, no matter which way it is, it is beautiful and natural.

To some extent, I am also an avoidance, avoiding living like other people I know.That kind of life doesn't have to be copied endlessly by everyone. I just need to be a bystander to know what that kind of life looks like, and there is no need to put it into practice.Much like you, avoiding as much as possible the kind of life that is absolutely identical to the vast majority of people.

A lot of people have thought that, but a lot of people give in too easily.

They all regard the indifferent world as the law, and regard the law as an indifferent child's play.

The uncle looked up at the child: Is this sentence original to you again?

right.What, are you starting to admire me?

The man smiled and shook his head: I wrote similar words in the draft of my first novel, and I was also 26 years old that year.

Hmm, sounds like a close call.

Hehe, villain.The man is smiling like a big kid.

Don't rush to praise me, you are also very smart, although you are very old.

My attitude towards the world is inherited from my mother, who often told me, no matter what, don't live a life that is not fundamentally different from most people.She does just fine on her own.

She knows you're better off, so she doesn't interfere in your life, does she?

She is very confident in her work, she never asks about me, and I don't take the initiative to report, she doesn't even know which city I am in.

How often do you go back and see them?

Six months.

Your parents never asked about your marriage?

there has never been.

A toast to your amazing parents.Xiaolu raised the glass of red wine.I do it, you have the right amount.

With half a glass left, Xiaolu saw his face suddenly flushed.

I started to feel dizzy.The man said, for an instant, his eyes were a little lax.

I can see that your experience with wine is about the same as with women.

Might sound like a lie - this is my first drink this year.

Are you unremunerated at work?

I don't talk about the specific work, so there are very few entertainments, and almost all the only opportunities are turned down, so I have been spared.

Looks like I shouldn't let you drink.

It's okay, it's a weird feeling, I'll finish this glass.But you have to clean the bowl.

I'm starting to worry if I can stop you if you're drunk.

If you have trouble, call the police.The man smiled and grinned.

You know what, you look like a big kid when you laugh.

Well, my deskmate said that when I was in school.

She likes you, right?

I only found out after graduation.She never said it, and I didn't feel it.He later said that he did not have the right to choose happiness.

why?

She didn't say it, I guess it's because of the world.

So your experience of love is not much more than that of wine?

Well, maybe that feeling is kind of weird too, kind of weird.

You are unique enough, I guess that girl at the same table who likes you may not be happy if she marries you.

why?

She and you are neither complementary nor of the same kind.Even happiness is probably very short-lived.

Maybe people like you and me should be alone.

What is your understanding of loneliness?

A virtue, a courage, a strength, a way of life.

The world says loneliness is shameful.What do you say?

What the world says is the internal truth of most people, which only applies to themselves.The truth that most people agree with has never been considered outside of them, and of course they do not agree with outside of them. This is a kind of deliberate avoidance.

And you, it is they who avoid.

There is no way, the rules of the existence of the world - opposites, but unity, just like the word "person", the starting point is the same, the direction is different, and they support each other to form a complete.

That's right.

For the integrity of the world.The man raises his glass.Let me drink it all up.

Through the wine glass, Xiaolu saw that the white flesh inside his neckline was flushed.

Can't drink any more, you've changed color.

Xiaolu saw that his hand shaking when he put down the cup.

I want to lie down.The man let out a heavy breath.

Xiaolu helped him into the bedroom, that secret space that he peeped almost every night, and he never thought that this was the first time he walked in like this.

He helped him lay down and saw that his eyes were closed, his whole body was numb, and his toes were trembling slightly.He struggled to take off his shirt.Xiaolu helped him take off the sleeves, and the completely discolored chest and belly made him feel a little uneasy.

It's weird, my limbs don't work, but I know it in my heart.

Every time a man utters a word, he takes a long breath.

Clear what?Xiaolu sat on the edge of his bed.

It's past nine o'clock now, isn't it?

He looked at the electronic clock on the table: nine twenty.

Only those men who claim to be less than rational men will drink crazy, you won't, don't worry.Feel like throwing up?

I didn't think so, it was very hot.

Want to drink ice water?

Well, there is an [-]ml glass bottle in the second shelf below in the freezer.

You do have sense.Xiaolu laughed and got up to get water.Passing by the dining table, he saw the empty wine glass, felt guilty, and pouted.

He opened the refrigerator to refrigerate, and he saw dozens of exquisite cigar boxes, neatly arranged, with no leftovers in them, and the smell was cool and fragrant.

The man drank the water and lay down with his eyes closed.Xiaolu got up to clean up the cups and plates, as he had seen his performance in the past, cleaned the utensils one by one thoroughly, and then wiped the faucet, stove, and sink without leaving any water stains.

Go back to the man and watch his breath gradually become even.

The man noticed him approaching, half-opened his eyes, and smiled lightly.

It's too late, don't go back.

Going back makes no difference, I