dance like a butterfly

Lao Zuo got through on the phone, but no one answered for a long time.

A song with Tu Honggang's "Manjianghong" as the ringtone was sung, but the phone was cut off.

I have known Lao Zuo for so long, and this is the only time that he didn't answer my calls.I'm a bit frustrated and I don't understand why.

Countless reasons for him not answering the phone rushed into my mind.However, I didn't have time to distinguish the authenticity of them. I only knew that now, I had to figure out whether he was sick.

He dialed again and got through, but he still didn't listen.

Of course I don't think of Lao Zuo as what Zhang Wenqing said, I can believe all the lies in the world, and it is impossible for me not to believe Lao Zuo!

But, why doesn't Lao Zuo just listen to my calls?I could not understand.

I started calling Old Left's office.

A young and elegant female voice must be the female teacher wearing glasses I met outside his office suite last time: "I'm sorry, Teacher Zuo didn't come today."

My heart sank.

"Did you say why you asked for leave?"

"No."

"How many days off do you have?"

"No. Who are you? When he comes back, I'll tell him you looked for him."

I hang up the phone.

Lao Zuo didn't even go to work!It seems that it is necessary for me to go to Yuxiang Gate to find Lao Zuo.

Get dressed and go downstairs.

As if it had already been calculated, Ao Tuo stopped at the door of the building, and Zhang Wenqing was smoking a cigarette leisurely.

I got in the car, Zhang Wenqing looked at my face carefully, "Go to Yuxiang Gate?"

I didn't say anything, just bit my lip.

The car bumped a bit and quickly rushed out of Yaxin Garden.

Ever since I parted from Lao Zuo on the snowy field, I have never set foot in Yuxiang Gate's house again.Yes, it doesn't belong to me anymore.There, it is just a symbol that has been drawn in my life, and it is getting farther and farther away from me.

I have always wanted to seal up all the memories of the two years I spent with Lao Zuo and never recall them again.But now, those details, one by one, crashed into my heart so firmly, so methodically, so clearly and vividly!

Old Zuo, brother, you must not get sick!You are the best good person in the world, good people will be blessed by the Bodhisattva!

Over and over again, I kept repeating this sentence silently in my heart like a fool.

However, when I stood at the door of the old house, when I saw the door I was most familiar with, an indescribable emotion rose from my heart.This emotion suddenly made me want to cry.

Unknowingly, I reached out and fumbled for the key on my body.

I was just halfway through this action, and I felt a little baffled myself.

Looking back, Zhang Wenqing was still standing aside, looking at me like a thief.

Seeing my frown, he sneered and opened the door of his house with interest.

After Zhang Wenqing came in, I started ringing the doorbell.

Fortunately, the door opened soon.

The one who opened the door was not Lao Zuo.

A young man stood in front of me, and we looked at each other.

He looks very capable.In his early twenties, it seems that he has not yet graduated from university.He is slightly shorter than me.Short hair, facial features although not very good, but also very correct.With fair skin, he was wearing a red Hongxing Erke ski jacket, black pants, and a pair of white tennis shoes.

"Who are you looking for?" There was a smile on his face, a kind of surprise and surprise that didn't match his age, as well as contempt, blossomed and faded instantly on his face.

It's just that his eyes are so pure, I can't find the kind of look in Zhang Wenqing's so-called eyes of this person.

"Who are you?"

Before he could get out of the way, I started walking towards the house.

"Ah, ah, who are you talking about?"

I used to be the owner of this house.How familiar I am with this house, rampant, come and go freely, doesn't it follow my mood?Others, what right do you have to stop me?

That sense of ownership still remained in my heart, so I didn't bother to answer him, so I took a few steps forward.

I don't know why, there is such a vigorous and unfeminine young man in Lao Zuo's room, a feeling that I have never felt before swept over my heart.

I don't know why, but I smelled the same smell today.

I couldn't tell if the feeling was a wave of unexplained jealousy.Although I have never had real love for Lao Zuo, suddenly, because of this young man in front of me, a feeling of restlessness is spreading in my heart so strongly at this moment.

It's like a big, brightly colored apple is always in my hand, and although I'm very hungry, I don't have the desire to eat it.However, suddenly someone ran over and stretched out his hand to the apple. I suddenly felt a desire to protect it.

I know this kind of thinking is very selfish and very despicable.

Hongxing Erke still wanted to stop me, an uninvited guest, so I carried him on my shoulders, and walked into the bedroom with great strides.

"Oh, you..." Hong Xing Erke was a little anxious.

To my relief, the bedroom is very tidy and not messy at all, and my heart is a little more at ease.

Lao Zuo was half lying on the bed with his arms pillowed on his head, in a daze.

Hearing my voice, he didn't turn his head to look at me!Just staring blankly at the opposite window.

The windows were half covered with dark purple gauze curtains.Outside the glass are two sparrows who are not afraid of noise, chirping with each other.

He turned a deaf ear to me and turned a blind eye to my coming, which was unprecedented in history!

I haven't seen him for a few days, but Lao Zuo's expression turned out to be so strange.This makes me feel stuck.

"Brother?", I called out.

Old Zuo turned his face, "Huh?"

His voice was low and flat, without any emotion.

Familiar room, familiar people, strange eyes and tone.

I was in a trance like a dream.

"Are you sick?"

Lao Zuo didn't speak.

From his appearance, he couldn't tell where he was sick.

My heart seemed to be tugged severely by someone. Lao Zuo's attitude towards me was completely different from before.Could it be that, as Zhang Wenqing said, he is in love, and he wants to treat me as someone who has nothing to do with him?

"Please drink water!"

At some point, Hongxing Erke was already standing beside me, holding a cup of steaming tea in his hand.

I squinted at Hongxing Erke.

Indeed, this is a very good young man.Although compared to me, he is still young, but such a young man is enough to make Zhang Wenqing and others covet him.

But no matter what, even if you are really talking about feelings with Hong Xing Erke, you wouldn't neglect me like this, right?In any case, we used to have such inextricable entanglements, and it is reasonable not to hit the door-to-door customers.Even if you decide to part ways with me, you don't have no sense of hospitality, do you?Where are the things you said to me before?Lover, lover, don't do it anymore, didn't you say that we are still brothers?I haven't seen you for a few days. Your turn is a bit too big, right?

For a while, I forgot how I used to treat Lao Zuo maliciously.As if I had never been bad to him, as if I was the kindest, most innocent person in the world.

Seeing us like this, Hong Xing Erke put the teacup on the bedside table, and he backed out knowingly.

I close the bedroom door.

"What are you doing closing the door?"

Lao Zuo looked at me, and finally asked a nonchalant question.

I ignored his words and reached out to touch his forehead.

Before I could touch him, Lao Zuo backed away a bit: "I'm not sick."

"I'm not sick, why don't you go to work when you're fine? You're not as responsible as before." I was embarrassed.

"In the past, I was too worried about others. It's different now."

This time, Lao Zuo didn't look at me.

A lot of words, I have to scramble to rush out of my heart.However, in the face of Lao Zuo's attitude, I know that it is inappropriate to say that everything is superfluous.

I coughed lightly, trying my best to break the awkward atmosphere.

"Did that young man last night—didn't—go back?"

Of course Lao Zuo knew who I was talking about.

"Yes."

Lao Zuo didn't hesitate, and answered very simply.

This is somewhat beyond my expectation.

"Is he...?"

I know it's rude to ask such a question in private.However, I should clarify the question.I have to confirm with my own ears that Hongxing Erke is a comrade, rather than speculating and making subjective assumptions.

"Yes."

Lao Zuo's answer was not sloppy at all.

My body shook.

A long time ago, I told Lao Zuo many times, let him find someone for himself again, and I wish them to love each other.At that time, how much I wanted to get rid of the old leftist.However, now that Lao Zuo has completed this matter in a flash, why am I not happy in my heart?Is it just because Lao Zuo now rejects the gaze of people thousands of miles away?

In his heart, does he really want to cut off all contact with me?

Or, everything in front of me is just an illusion, the old left wants to deceive me, what is his purpose?

"Haha."

I laughed.

Undoubtedly, my laughter seems very different at the moment.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Why are your acting skills always so bad?" I looked like I saw through the truth.

"Why do I want to act? Is it necessary?" Lao Zuo glanced at me, his eyes were ashen, and the Lao Zuo I knew well was completely different.

"Then tell me, what's going on between you and this person?"

I don’t know why, but at this moment, I really hope that Lao Zuo can laugh, put on a gentle expression like before, get out of bed, and ask me how I am, I hope he will say: “Xiaohui, brother is just teasing you, it’s not true I just want to see if you still care about me? I hope you can come and see me. I hope that everything I have paid for you will not be in vain. You are a loving and righteous brother who deserves my care."

"We have known each other for a while, online. I think he is suitable for me." Lao Zuo said lightly.

How long is a period of time?Two days or three days?Is it like when I first met, chatted online for a day, met each other, and then did that thing?Then……

"I do not know how?"

I don't believe it even if you kill me, I don't want to believe it!

"Just like you, he is also a salesman. He has graduated from college for two years. He just has time to visit me these two days."

Today's young people look different from their actual age.No matter how you look at it, Hongxing Erke looks like a college student.

"He heard about what happened between us, and he felt that I was not worth it. Of course, in retrospect, when I was with you, it was like being possessed by a demon. That's right. I thought about it carefully and felt that I shouldn't be Like that."

Old Zuo was chattering away.I am so familiar with his kind of chatter, which is a kind of chatter that I don't care about subconsciously.

Where did this Hongxing Erke come from, and what happened to Lao Zuo, I don't want to go into it anymore.

However, Lao Zuo had a sentence that stabbed me severely.

He even narrated the matter between us to an outsider!

If it were me, no matter what kind of pain I had in the past, I would knock out my teeth and swallow them in my stomach.Unless this person has a life-threatening relationship with me!

In other words, has he and Hongxing Erke really been dating for a long time in private, or have they chatted online for a long time?

But why, I never knew?Old Zuo, your ambush is too deep!

I stood numbly.I have an impulse, I want to grab Hongxing Erke and ask, is what Lao Zuo said is the truth?However, suddenly, I realized that if I really did this, I would be too lacking in quality and tolerance.

Since I don't want to entrust my whole life to Lao Zuo, and since he has loved me for so long without any results, of course he has the right to choose his own happiness!

Allowing state officials to set fires and not allowing common people to light lamps is clearly the most vivid portrayal of me at this moment.

I have already lived with Lao Han, so what reason do I have for Lao Zuo to still hold me so completely in his heart?

No matter what, Lao Zuo was able to break the hard shell outside his body and walk out, even if it was just a thought, it was something worthy of congratulations.Could it be that I wish he didn't even have a friend?Do you want him to stay alone in the house all his life and let the flowers of his feelings wither without blooming?

Even though he and Hongxing Erke are not as close as he said, but they get to know each other slowly, maybe they can really create dazzling sparks!

I should be happy for him, and I should thank Hongxing Erke for being the talent, so why bother to blame them or criticize them?

My tears still fell unconsciously when I closed my eyes for a moment.

This large, empty house seems to have been left unused for far too long.I long for it to fill slowly.

This house belongs to Lao Zuo.

"Okay then, I'll invite you two to sing and eat some other day."

I think it's time for me to say goodbye.

I forgive Lao Zuo for his attitude towards me today, and for not answering my calls.

Put yourself in the shoes of an old leftist, if I had such a friend, I would refuse calls from my old lover for fear that he would be sad.

"Let's talk about it later." Lao Zuo saw that I was going to leave, "I won't see you off."

"No, no, no."

Opening the door, Hongxing Erke was sitting in the living room watching TV.He looked up at me, probably already guessing who I am, he smiled and said nothing.

I don't want to say anything to him yet.

He also seemed to have no desire to talk to me.

Gently knocking on the door between me and Hongxing Erke, I feel that this time, I really want to call a curtain call in Lao Zuo's life.

Lao Zuo, no matter what, you are my good brother.

Brother, I bless you, and I also bless your love as brilliant as summer flowers!

Standing on the stairs, I suddenly lost my strength.

Crouching down, I covered my face.

Tears poured down silently.

I couldn't tell whether I was really happy for Lao Zuo, or whether I was in a boundless loss.