Tear

Chapter 65

Lin Xu didn't want to wake up. Even if he regained consciousness slowly, he didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't say a word no matter how painful the wound was. He felt that this was the punishment he deserved.

Why are you still alive?This is the question, do I still have the right to breathe this free air and see the blue sky and white clouds?Can I still live like this without incident?

I can feel the gentle woman next to me whispering, taking care of him carefully, feeling the kiss that the man leaned down on the cheek, feeling the man who brought the lily, feeling the whisper every time "This kid is not good, is he not good! What should I do, big brother?" He knew that this was the third child, feeling the man who calmly arranged everything and directed everything, he knew he was Li Jun,

Feeling a passage of ethereal scriptures, he knew it was Master Hongtai, feeling the crying and sobbing, calling brother and sister here, he knew it was a smile, feeling the soft scent of perfume, he I know this is Miss Yanlin

People come and go, everyone walks softly, speaks softly, and is careful

Only in the middle of the night, when everyone fell asleep, Lin Xu would open his eyes and stare at the ceiling, feeling that he had sunk to the deepest bottom of the sea

When Xiao Ye anxiously asked Professor Zhang, Professor Zhang only said one sentence

"He doesn't want to wake up"

Lin Xu has never examined himself like this these days, and he is in the self-blame that cannot be shaken off.

Growing up in this poor but happy family with great care, his grandma also told him that life is not easy, but he never knew and would not think about why it was not easy.

When I met Xiao Ye, this devilish man, it was the first time that he tore apart his body and also his sky, tearing open a bloody mouth in his life like a sleeping person, but he was neither strong nor strong. I clapped my hands and stood up, but chose to escape. I went there for more than a year, without considering my family or my own life

Then I was very lucky to meet Gao Fei, his brother was as warm as the sun, making him so greedy, desperate to ask for it, enjoying it, why did he ever consider his brother's feelings at this time?Why did you ask your brother about his thoughts and plans?Did his dependence and unscrupulous love cause trouble for the brother?

After my brother left to find his own path, why did he still blame him implicitly?So how difficult is it for my elder brother who has gone through a lot of misery to get this chance of rebirth? I should be happy for him and leave voluntarily, instead of putting my elder brother into injustice like now. Is this also called love?Is this also called love for my brother?

I always feel that I am the most painful and unfortunate one, and even when I come back, I have been sinking in my own pain, and I have never returned home for a 100-kilometer journey. I let my gray-haired grandma lean on the door and hope to see through it, and my hard-working parents are greasy every day. The smoky one dollar one dollar earns the living expenses.

In the past three years, have I ever thought about my own life, have I ever thought about my responsibilities, have I ever thought about what kind of person I want to be, have I ever thought about my future and career?

Zhenyuan's precipitation is just to wash away the pain of seeing his brother again.Is there really understood?

When your family encounters such a big change, Lin Xu, what else do you have besides being at a loss?In addition to the high expenses of grandma and dad's medical expenses and burial expenses, can you afford it?

What have you done for your family for three years?I didn't see my father for the last time, I didn't enjoy one more day of knee-wrapping with my grandma, and I didn't even buy a decent dress for my grandma.

With such a job and opportunity, but when I feel painful, I leave the job in my hand and walk away for a few days without any explanation

Hate that man, but accept his help and care.Hate that man but have sex with him in bed and can't be myself

I am such a person who is selfish, irresponsible, and does not know how to love

What is Lin Xu doing alive?What is the right to live?

Lin Xu hated himself, hating him beyond measure.The self-blame for himself penetrated into every cell, every nerve, the pain of losing his grandma and father, seeing the helplessness of his crazy mother, the guilt for his grandma and father gnawed at his bone marrow, he just wanted to die, he just wanted to die

Lin Xu feels that he is not qualified to face the world, not qualified to face everyone, mother, master Hongtai, sister Yao Hong who takes care of himself, brother Li Jun, that third brother, brother, Zhiyuan, Xiaoxiao, brother Yang , and even that Xiao Ye.Who can he face?

Now I just want to lie in grandma's arms, I just want to see grandma's smile, I just want to hear grandma shout "Xuxu"

Lin Xu took out the fruit knife secretly hidden in the quilt.Without hesitation, he scratched down towards his left wrist under the quilt, and then closed his eyes with a smile on his face. He thought he would see grandma soon and be with her.

Despair is the most terrible feeling. When a person has nothing to love in life, no nostalgia for sunshine and air, and when a person's guilt can only be redeemed by destroying his own body, life appears so pale and fragile.

Kalanyu: In fact, it's not Lin Xu's fault. He's just a carefree boy. In just three years, his life and world have been subverted again and again. How can he bear it?He's just a kid.tears