[guard]
Chapter 34
Tang Zhicheng probably felt that the relationship between Yan Jiasheng and I was very unpleasant to him, so he made an excuse, "Brother Min, I'm going to talk to my cousin, and call me when you leave later!" After speaking, he opened the door and went out , did not wait for my reply.
In the ward, I, Chen Xinhua, and Lin Xiufeng, the three people surrounding Yan's family, fell silent for a moment. I seemed to be able to hear everyone's heartbeats. No one could guess what everyone was thinking. The only thing I knew was that Lin Xiufeng had already passed away. It has changed, she is only staring at Yan Jiasheng's property now.If Yan Jiasheng had been disabled all her life, she would definitely go through divorce procedures based on what I observed during this time. Chen Xinhua has always given me a feeling that he is hiding something. What has become of him after so many years?My heart was in a mess.
"I want to eat an orange." Yan Jiasheng said suddenly, and I quickly reached out to the bag to take it. When I stretched out my hand, Chen Xinhua was already one step ahead of me. Don't move for a while, it's good that Yan Jiasheng has lost his memory, at least he doesn't have to worry about how to deal with the few of us in this room.Watching Chen Xinhua peeling an orange, I suddenly felt a little lost, thinking that I am not qualified to peel an orange for him?what am iAt this moment, I can't find my own place...
Watching Chen Xinhua deliver oranges to Yan's lips, my heart really aches and aches. I sneak a sideways glance at Lin Xiufeng and she doesn't mind at all. Am I being stingy, or is this just an ordinary thing?I finally couldn't help it, and pretended to look at the watch in my hand, "Oh...it's 7 o'clock, I should go! Brother Sheng, I'll come to see you again when I'm free!" I said this involuntarily.In fact, I don't want to leave him for a second, but at this time he doesn't need me, and he doesn't think my existence is any important.
"Well, go slowly!" Hearing Yan Jiasheng's lack of breath, I walked out of the ward quickly, because I was really afraid that I would not be able to hold back my tears and lose my composure in front of them.When I reached the corridor, I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to cry.Yan Jiasheng, it has been more than ten years. I left you ten years ago because I loved you. Ten years later, I came back to you to be the one who quietly served you behind the scenes because I loved you. But now...do I still exist in your memory? ?In front of Lin Xiufeng and Chen Xinhua, everything I have is very pale and weak. I want a cigarette to soothe my emotions, but this is a hospital. I didn’t press the elevator because no one used the stairs. A person with a heart - smoking.
I squatted down on the stairs, took out a cigarette and lit it, took a deep breath, and exhaled "huh..." It seemed that this could vomit away all my unhappiness, and I stared blankly at each level. of stairs.
"Smoking is not allowed in the hospital..." The voice scared me so much that I couldn't hold on to my cigarette butts, because such behavior was really immoral. Young man, good looking, short hair, square face, smiling eyes, looks very energetic, far from the appearance of a sick patient, probably not a seriously ill person, I don't think it is a hospital The staff felt a lot more at ease.I quickly said "I'm sorry, it affected you." In fact, he disturbed my quietness, and I made my own mistakes first, so I still said sorry.
"Haha..." It was a flattering laugh. To be honest, his voice is very pleasant. I don't know why. I have never tried any other man's voice other than Yan Kongsheng's. "I'm just kidding you." Yes, bro, sorry to scare you," he immediately added.
"It's okay! Heh..." I smiled bitterly, because I really just want to be alone at this moment.
"Can I borrow a cigarette?" The fat man still asked with a smile on his face. I don't know if I should use the word "fat man" to call him, because I also have extra meat on my body, huh...but I don't know him. That's all he can call it.
"Okay, here..." I took out a cigarette and handed him a cigarette, and I also lighted one myself. After that, I didn't say anything. At this moment, I only had one word in my mind, "annoyed." The fat man squatted next to me.
"In a bad mood?" The fat man spoke again.
"Um"
"Is your loved one hospitalized?" He asked again.
"Forget it!" After puffing out my cigarette, I could only answer him like this, because I have no blood relationship with Yan, but I thought that Yan Jiasheng was my relative, someone closer than relatives.
"Look at what you said, so there is such a thing? What does it mean?" The fat man must have been confused, he couldn't understand what I said.
"Nothing!" I replied, my tone was not very good, I really just wanted to be alone, but an unexpected guest came.
"Hehe, don't ask any questions... Ha... Don't worry about it, let's make friends?" His boring teasing really made me a little speechless.
"friend?"
"Yes, friend..." The fat man smiled at me, he looked at me with friendly and expectant eyes, a pretty smiling face.
The word friend is too unfamiliar to me. After so many years, this is the first time someone said this to me like this. Looking back, I really don't have any friends. The only one who can be regarded as a friend is Tang Zhicheng. "Is there anything we can't make up, whether we can meet in the future is also a problem, why should we be so serious when we meet by chance?" I just replied.
Fatty looked a little disappointed when he heard my answer, "Here...you said this because of your heart, as long as you want to see me, you will definitely see it, heh...do you look down on me?"
"How can you look down on people? I'm telling the truth. You love making friends so much?" I asked back.
"It's easier to travel if you have more friends, hey..." Fatty's haze just now disappeared. What kind of person is he?Should I describe him as optimistic or cheeky?
"Perhaps!" He flicked the cigarette ash.
"Why are you so vague in your speech? As a human being, you should be decisive. Too much or too much uncertainty will only make your life more tiring!!" The fat man became serious, giving me the feeling that he was too much. changed.What he said is really right. I have been like this all my life. I have no clear direction for everything. The only thing I have always been persistent is loving Yan Jiasheng. But I also thought about leaving him because I love him. It's really complicated, and it really makes me very tired.But how can this fat man understand that I am not an ordinary man?I am gay!Does he know how comrades should walk the way of comrades?
"There are some things you don't understand, people like me can only do this..."
"What do you call a person like you? Aren't they all the same..." After the fat man said this, I was really annoyed. I really wanted to tell him to shut up, but I didn't say it out of politeness. Just then, the phone rang I squeezed out my cigarette butt and stood up, took out my phone and saw that it was Tang Zhicheng, and said in my heart, "You always show up when I need you..." It just gave me an excuse to say goodbye to this annoying fat man.
After answering, "Brother Min, where are you?" Tang Zhicheng asked.
"It's on the stairs, smoke a cigarette"
"I thought you left first, so I'll come and find you!"
"No, no need, where are you now?" I quickly rejected Tang, because I wanted an excuse to leave first and leave this annoying handsome fat man behind.
"It's at the gate!"
"I'll be down right away!" After I finished speaking, I hung up the phone, "Well... I have to leave first! We will talk again when we have a chance." After finishing speaking, I was about to leave.
"Hey...then...brother, can you leave a contact information? A phone number?" Seeing that I was leaving, the fat man hurriedly stood up and asked.
"No need! You said you will meet if you are destined." Before the fat man could reply, I hurried back to the corridor, and finally left this annoying person behind. I breathed out. I still hope that I will never meet such an annoying person again up!
After meeting Tang Zhicheng downstairs, "Let's go!"
Tang: "When I came back to the ward just now, they said you were gone. I thought you were gone! Smoking on the stairs for so long?"
"Well, by the way, be alone quietly" I didn't tell him about the fat man I met, and there was no need to tell him about this insignificant 'passerby'.
"Brother Min, we haven't had dinner together for a long time, why don't we have dinner together tonight?" Tang Zhicheng said suddenly.
I looked at him with longing eyes, I couldn't bear to refuse, so I could only answer "Yeah"
The two of us took a taxi to the place where we ate Japanese food during the Mid-Autumn Festival, without talking all the way.After going through so many things, there was an indescribable feeling between me and him, and I didn't know what it was like, it should be said that it was a feeling of depression in my heart.He is devoted to me.I, my heart belongs.Like a dramatic game of chase.Sitting down for a few minutes, we were relatively wordless and a bit awkward.I thought for a while, "Didn't you chat with your cousin just now? Why did you finish chatting so quickly?"
"Oh... that... just chatted a few words, just a greeting." He picked up the cup and took a sip of tea, and after speaking, he held the teacup in both hands in a daze.
After the food was served, "Why are you so dazed and silent? I haven't heard your cold joke for a long time. Tell me about it?" Seeing him in a daze, I had to find something to talk about.
"Uh...you want to listen? Well, let me think about it..." He came back to his senses. "One day, the little white rabbit went fishing, and came home without catching anything. The next day, it went to the same place, and went home without catching anything. On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river. Then, a big fish jumped up from the water and said to the little white rabbit, "If you dare to use radish as bait again, I will beat you to death!" ! ""
"Oh, yes, it's quite funny." I smiled slightly, "Xiao Tang, you..."
Tang Zhicheng looked at my smile: "What happened to me?"
"Do you still hate me?" I have been holding back this question for several days, but I still couldn't bear to ask it.
"I never hated you..." He picked up a piece of sushi, stuffed it into his mouth, chewed it, and looked at me.
"Then... I..." I didn't know what to say when I heard what he said, so I smiled foolishly.The meal was quite enjoyable, and the relationship between Tang Daocheng and I seemed to be back before nothing happened.
After the meal, the two of us walked on the way home. We only drank a little wine during the meal. It may be because we didn't dare to drink too much last time, so we were very sober. Xiao Tang shuddered, it was already winter, even though it was winter in the south, it was still a bit cold, this guy was only wearing a thin shirt, he couldn't help it, "Xiao Tang, you guys still love demeanor and not temperature when you are young! Come on!"
Tang Zhicheng rubbed his arms with crossed hands in embarrassment, "It's okay, I forgot to put on my clothes when I went out."
Seeing his appearance, I couldn't help feeling sour. He is a young man after all, and it is helpless to live alone without a companion to take care of him. I took off my suit jacket and "put it on!" and put it on Xiao Tang. Twitched him, "You should find a partner! It's not good to be so dishonest all the time! It's cold, and you don't even know you're not dressed."
"Isn't that chilling yourself? No need, Brother Min! Put it on!" He declined while trying to take it off.
"It's okay, I'm fat, I drank wine just now and it's hot now!" I tightened the coat on both sides and pulled it towards the middle.
He didn't refuse again, "I don't want to find a partner" and said softly.
His words made me think affectionately whether he didn't want to look for me because of my appearance?I didn't ask, even if I asked him, he would deny such arrogance. He is really good to me, and I can't repay him.The usual topics along the way went to the downstairs of Xiao Tang's house, he took off his coat and handed it to me, "Brother Min, you put it on when I get home, I'm sorry, thank you for your coat, it's very warm, really warm! "After he finished speaking, he turned and went upstairs with a smile, looking at his handsome back, if he hadn't fallen in love with me, he would be a very happy person, I was stunned for a while before leaving.When I got back to the park near my home, it started to rain. The night when Yan Jiasheng and I confessed our love to each other flashed before my eyes. What else is there now?He doesn't remember anything, I'm still me, the park is still the park, it's still raining.How should I go down this road?
In the ward, I, Chen Xinhua, and Lin Xiufeng, the three people surrounding Yan's family, fell silent for a moment. I seemed to be able to hear everyone's heartbeats. No one could guess what everyone was thinking. The only thing I knew was that Lin Xiufeng had already passed away. It has changed, she is only staring at Yan Jiasheng's property now.If Yan Jiasheng had been disabled all her life, she would definitely go through divorce procedures based on what I observed during this time. Chen Xinhua has always given me a feeling that he is hiding something. What has become of him after so many years?My heart was in a mess.
"I want to eat an orange." Yan Jiasheng said suddenly, and I quickly reached out to the bag to take it. When I stretched out my hand, Chen Xinhua was already one step ahead of me. Don't move for a while, it's good that Yan Jiasheng has lost his memory, at least he doesn't have to worry about how to deal with the few of us in this room.Watching Chen Xinhua peeling an orange, I suddenly felt a little lost, thinking that I am not qualified to peel an orange for him?what am iAt this moment, I can't find my own place...
Watching Chen Xinhua deliver oranges to Yan's lips, my heart really aches and aches. I sneak a sideways glance at Lin Xiufeng and she doesn't mind at all. Am I being stingy, or is this just an ordinary thing?I finally couldn't help it, and pretended to look at the watch in my hand, "Oh...it's 7 o'clock, I should go! Brother Sheng, I'll come to see you again when I'm free!" I said this involuntarily.In fact, I don't want to leave him for a second, but at this time he doesn't need me, and he doesn't think my existence is any important.
"Well, go slowly!" Hearing Yan Jiasheng's lack of breath, I walked out of the ward quickly, because I was really afraid that I would not be able to hold back my tears and lose my composure in front of them.When I reached the corridor, I took a deep breath and resisted the urge to cry.Yan Jiasheng, it has been more than ten years. I left you ten years ago because I loved you. Ten years later, I came back to you to be the one who quietly served you behind the scenes because I loved you. But now...do I still exist in your memory? ?In front of Lin Xiufeng and Chen Xinhua, everything I have is very pale and weak. I want a cigarette to soothe my emotions, but this is a hospital. I didn’t press the elevator because no one used the stairs. A person with a heart - smoking.
I squatted down on the stairs, took out a cigarette and lit it, took a deep breath, and exhaled "huh..." It seemed that this could vomit away all my unhappiness, and I stared blankly at each level. of stairs.
"Smoking is not allowed in the hospital..." The voice scared me so much that I couldn't hold on to my cigarette butts, because such behavior was really immoral. Young man, good looking, short hair, square face, smiling eyes, looks very energetic, far from the appearance of a sick patient, probably not a seriously ill person, I don't think it is a hospital The staff felt a lot more at ease.I quickly said "I'm sorry, it affected you." In fact, he disturbed my quietness, and I made my own mistakes first, so I still said sorry.
"Haha..." It was a flattering laugh. To be honest, his voice is very pleasant. I don't know why. I have never tried any other man's voice other than Yan Kongsheng's. "I'm just kidding you." Yes, bro, sorry to scare you," he immediately added.
"It's okay! Heh..." I smiled bitterly, because I really just want to be alone at this moment.
"Can I borrow a cigarette?" The fat man still asked with a smile on his face. I don't know if I should use the word "fat man" to call him, because I also have extra meat on my body, huh...but I don't know him. That's all he can call it.
"Okay, here..." I took out a cigarette and handed him a cigarette, and I also lighted one myself. After that, I didn't say anything. At this moment, I only had one word in my mind, "annoyed." The fat man squatted next to me.
"In a bad mood?" The fat man spoke again.
"Um"
"Is your loved one hospitalized?" He asked again.
"Forget it!" After puffing out my cigarette, I could only answer him like this, because I have no blood relationship with Yan, but I thought that Yan Jiasheng was my relative, someone closer than relatives.
"Look at what you said, so there is such a thing? What does it mean?" The fat man must have been confused, he couldn't understand what I said.
"Nothing!" I replied, my tone was not very good, I really just wanted to be alone, but an unexpected guest came.
"Hehe, don't ask any questions... Ha... Don't worry about it, let's make friends?" His boring teasing really made me a little speechless.
"friend?"
"Yes, friend..." The fat man smiled at me, he looked at me with friendly and expectant eyes, a pretty smiling face.
The word friend is too unfamiliar to me. After so many years, this is the first time someone said this to me like this. Looking back, I really don't have any friends. The only one who can be regarded as a friend is Tang Zhicheng. "Is there anything we can't make up, whether we can meet in the future is also a problem, why should we be so serious when we meet by chance?" I just replied.
Fatty looked a little disappointed when he heard my answer, "Here...you said this because of your heart, as long as you want to see me, you will definitely see it, heh...do you look down on me?"
"How can you look down on people? I'm telling the truth. You love making friends so much?" I asked back.
"It's easier to travel if you have more friends, hey..." Fatty's haze just now disappeared. What kind of person is he?Should I describe him as optimistic or cheeky?
"Perhaps!" He flicked the cigarette ash.
"Why are you so vague in your speech? As a human being, you should be decisive. Too much or too much uncertainty will only make your life more tiring!!" The fat man became serious, giving me the feeling that he was too much. changed.What he said is really right. I have been like this all my life. I have no clear direction for everything. The only thing I have always been persistent is loving Yan Jiasheng. But I also thought about leaving him because I love him. It's really complicated, and it really makes me very tired.But how can this fat man understand that I am not an ordinary man?I am gay!Does he know how comrades should walk the way of comrades?
"There are some things you don't understand, people like me can only do this..."
"What do you call a person like you? Aren't they all the same..." After the fat man said this, I was really annoyed. I really wanted to tell him to shut up, but I didn't say it out of politeness. Just then, the phone rang I squeezed out my cigarette butt and stood up, took out my phone and saw that it was Tang Zhicheng, and said in my heart, "You always show up when I need you..." It just gave me an excuse to say goodbye to this annoying fat man.
After answering, "Brother Min, where are you?" Tang Zhicheng asked.
"It's on the stairs, smoke a cigarette"
"I thought you left first, so I'll come and find you!"
"No, no need, where are you now?" I quickly rejected Tang, because I wanted an excuse to leave first and leave this annoying handsome fat man behind.
"It's at the gate!"
"I'll be down right away!" After I finished speaking, I hung up the phone, "Well... I have to leave first! We will talk again when we have a chance." After finishing speaking, I was about to leave.
"Hey...then...brother, can you leave a contact information? A phone number?" Seeing that I was leaving, the fat man hurriedly stood up and asked.
"No need! You said you will meet if you are destined." Before the fat man could reply, I hurried back to the corridor, and finally left this annoying person behind. I breathed out. I still hope that I will never meet such an annoying person again up!
After meeting Tang Zhicheng downstairs, "Let's go!"
Tang: "When I came back to the ward just now, they said you were gone. I thought you were gone! Smoking on the stairs for so long?"
"Well, by the way, be alone quietly" I didn't tell him about the fat man I met, and there was no need to tell him about this insignificant 'passerby'.
"Brother Min, we haven't had dinner together for a long time, why don't we have dinner together tonight?" Tang Zhicheng said suddenly.
I looked at him with longing eyes, I couldn't bear to refuse, so I could only answer "Yeah"
The two of us took a taxi to the place where we ate Japanese food during the Mid-Autumn Festival, without talking all the way.After going through so many things, there was an indescribable feeling between me and him, and I didn't know what it was like, it should be said that it was a feeling of depression in my heart.He is devoted to me.I, my heart belongs.Like a dramatic game of chase.Sitting down for a few minutes, we were relatively wordless and a bit awkward.I thought for a while, "Didn't you chat with your cousin just now? Why did you finish chatting so quickly?"
"Oh... that... just chatted a few words, just a greeting." He picked up the cup and took a sip of tea, and after speaking, he held the teacup in both hands in a daze.
After the food was served, "Why are you so dazed and silent? I haven't heard your cold joke for a long time. Tell me about it?" Seeing him in a daze, I had to find something to talk about.
"Uh...you want to listen? Well, let me think about it..." He came back to his senses. "One day, the little white rabbit went fishing, and came home without catching anything. The next day, it went to the same place, and went home without catching anything. On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river. Then, a big fish jumped up from the water and said to the little white rabbit, "If you dare to use radish as bait again, I will beat you to death!" ! ""
"Oh, yes, it's quite funny." I smiled slightly, "Xiao Tang, you..."
Tang Zhicheng looked at my smile: "What happened to me?"
"Do you still hate me?" I have been holding back this question for several days, but I still couldn't bear to ask it.
"I never hated you..." He picked up a piece of sushi, stuffed it into his mouth, chewed it, and looked at me.
"Then... I..." I didn't know what to say when I heard what he said, so I smiled foolishly.The meal was quite enjoyable, and the relationship between Tang Daocheng and I seemed to be back before nothing happened.
After the meal, the two of us walked on the way home. We only drank a little wine during the meal. It may be because we didn't dare to drink too much last time, so we were very sober. Xiao Tang shuddered, it was already winter, even though it was winter in the south, it was still a bit cold, this guy was only wearing a thin shirt, he couldn't help it, "Xiao Tang, you guys still love demeanor and not temperature when you are young! Come on!"
Tang Zhicheng rubbed his arms with crossed hands in embarrassment, "It's okay, I forgot to put on my clothes when I went out."
Seeing his appearance, I couldn't help feeling sour. He is a young man after all, and it is helpless to live alone without a companion to take care of him. I took off my suit jacket and "put it on!" and put it on Xiao Tang. Twitched him, "You should find a partner! It's not good to be so dishonest all the time! It's cold, and you don't even know you're not dressed."
"Isn't that chilling yourself? No need, Brother Min! Put it on!" He declined while trying to take it off.
"It's okay, I'm fat, I drank wine just now and it's hot now!" I tightened the coat on both sides and pulled it towards the middle.
He didn't refuse again, "I don't want to find a partner" and said softly.
His words made me think affectionately whether he didn't want to look for me because of my appearance?I didn't ask, even if I asked him, he would deny such arrogance. He is really good to me, and I can't repay him.The usual topics along the way went to the downstairs of Xiao Tang's house, he took off his coat and handed it to me, "Brother Min, you put it on when I get home, I'm sorry, thank you for your coat, it's very warm, really warm! "After he finished speaking, he turned and went upstairs with a smile, looking at his handsome back, if he hadn't fallen in love with me, he would be a very happy person, I was stunned for a while before leaving.When I got back to the park near my home, it started to rain. The night when Yan Jiasheng and I confessed our love to each other flashed before my eyes. What else is there now?He doesn't remember anything, I'm still me, the park is still the park, it's still raining.How should I go down this road?
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