Short Story: The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Afterwards, life became calm, like boiling water. Only after getting rid of the initial scalding, can it become that cup of moderately warm boiled water. The same is true of life.

Most of the winter is over, and the Lunar New Year is coming. I didn't want to go back, but Fatty Wang conjured me a boat ticket to England.He said he was going to the countryside to accompany his parents, so he couldn't accompany me during the Spring Festival.I am very dissatisfied with his self-assertion, can't I accompany him to the countryside?

Fatty Wang pretended to be surprised: "If they see their daughter-in-law is so fat, they won't be scared to death."

He sent me to the pier, and there was a trace of parting sadness between the two of us.

I hugged Fatty Wang, ignoring other people's strange eyes, and kissed Fatty Wang's soft neck deeply. Because of my sight, no one else could see me kissing.

"It's not that I won't come back." Fatty Wang said to me mockingly, and he seemed to say to himself, "Let's go, the boat is about to leave."

I boarded the last step of the boat and looked back at Fatty Wang. He was smiling and waving his hands, as if trying to dispel my worries. Finally, I boarded the boat and couldn't see him.

I didn't know that this was the last time I saw Fatty Wang.

But I soon found out.

The Spring Festival is not over yet, and in British newspapers, I saw news that I never want to see.

There was war in Shanghai.

The Shanghai Incident broke out.

"I want to go back to Shanghai." I said to my parents. Despite their strong opposition, I went to buy a plane ticket to Shanghai. I thought the boat was too slow.

The next day I was told that the flight to Shanghai had been suspended, not only the plane, but also the ship.China has been banned from air and sea.

I was completely stunned, and I didn't know how to face all this.

I frantically wrote to him, but nothing came of it.

I was dazed in my room, thinking maybe he would come to England to see me and tell me everything was fine.Or one day there will be a letter in the newspaper from Shanghai, China, telling me that he is doing well.If so it's not too late.

But a day passed, a month passed, and a year passed.

I went from worry to panic, from panic to numbness, from numbness to heartbreak.

Didn't you say goodbye?

Didn't you say we'll be together forever?

Didn't you say yes?

I leaned against the wall and cried alone, not daring to cry out loud. I touched the ring, and my tears couldn't stop flowing.

……

30 years later.

As usual, I took out the "London Daily" from the mailbox and walked out of the house. It was still cold in the UK in winter. I breathed out the heat and called a taxi to the pier.

Because of my age, my health is getting worse day by day, and I think I should go to China again.The more I escape, the more I miss. I feel that I will eventually return to Shanghai, back to the original starting point, which is my destiny.

On the boat, I kept fantasizing that maybe I would meet him by chance, and then he told me that he was doing well and that he had also been to England to find me.But all this is just my own fantasy.

It finally happened.

Shanghai in 1961 was already the Shanghai of the Communist Party of China. It was completely different from what I saw in China last time. Everything about capitalism was pushed back and started again.

I first wanted to find that office building based on memory, but unfortunately everything has changed.

So I went to the Archives Bureau, where I found Wang Jilu's file, and I will never forget that moment.

Picking up his file, my trembling hands found the page I wanted.I read his life carefully, as if I had accompanied him through his whole life, and I found that there were many things he didn’t tell me, for example, he was not the owner of a tobacco company, for example, his parents did not live in the countryside but lived in Nanjing.I know, he was trying not to worry me, but things must have exceeded his expectations, and he didn't have time to tell me.

In a cemetery on the outskirts of Shanghai, I found a tombstone.

The tomb of Mr. Wang Jilu.

I touched the tombstone and seemed to see Fatty Wang looking at me with a smile on his face.

You lied to me again, and I burst into tears.

I sat next to him that afternoon.

The sky was clear, with white clouds passing by.

"It's much better than the weather on our wedding day." I smiled and said to him, the tombstone remained silent.

"Are you worried that I haven't returned home?"

"I'm never leaving again, okay?"

"I plan to live here, um, I will build a small house next to it, and I will visit you every day, are you happy?"

As I spoke, my voice choked up: "I'm going to cry again, I should be happy to see you." I forced a smile and shed tears.

I sat until dusk, but I want to sit until the end of time.

Since then, there has been a small house on the outskirts of Shanghai, where an old man is with him.

When it comes to love, nothing has changed.

Please allow me to settle the dust and bury the past with silence

Covered in wind and rain, I came from the sea to live in seclusion in this desert

What to hide is always clear, a thousand words can only be speechless

Love is a superstition at the right time, oh, so you're here too

Ah, does that person only exist in dreams?

Why do I use all my strength, but in exchange for half a lifetime of memories

If it wasn't for your desire for eyes, if it wasn't for me to redeem my heart

We met in thousands of mountains and seas, oh, so you are here too

——Rene Liu "So You Are Here Too"