If not the fragment

46 Mother Gone

There is a kind of coldness in spring called Dachunhan, and people will feel shivering colder than winter.If it wasn't cold, it was cold from the beginning to the end, from the outside to the inside.If it weren't for the world, it seemed that it wouldn't be warm.Even if such a big furnace like Wang Xiaoran revolves around Ruofei, it seems to be useless to Ruofei.No one can guess Ruofei's mind, what happened to him?

It was time for the cuckoo to sing, and the sky was raining and the wind was chilling.Ruofei's old mother left in that season to follow Ruofei's father.

If he hadn't gone home to attend to his mother's funeral, it would have been only four months, less than half a year since Gu Guoxiong passed away.

The old mother who had raised him for many years also left, and the last person whom Ruofei cared about left.Who else is worthy of his nostalgia, and who else is his closest relative in this world?Except for Wang Xiaoran who regards him as a relative now, it seems that there is no more, and they all passed away.

The old mother was buried next to the old father's grave.The rhododendrons on the mountain are blooming beautifully, in clusters.If you don't look to the west, Gu Guoxiong's tomb is on the opposite side, covered with emerald green grass.

If it wasn't for lying on the bed with red and swollen eyes, sending messages to everyone he knew, except Lao Shao.The only person in the world that I care about is gone, and I will be free in the future.If not all night sleepless.Both good and bad things happened to me.How should we live in the days to come?Just keep ambiguity with Wang Xiaoran like this, or is it a life of flirtatious wandering?Impossible, absolutely impossible, impossible in any kind of life.The game with Lao Shao has just begun, and Lao Shao has not yet fallen into it.

If it weren't for the message sent to Lao Shao: Under the green mountains, in the loess, how can old people meet again, the clouds go, the fireworks fly, and they will enter the king's arms on that day?It may be that Lao Shao didn't understand what it meant, so he didn't reply that night.If he hadn't read the message with his mobile phone, he wouldn't have understood what it meant.Those who write blindly will follow blindly.

Ruofei's mother appeared in the dream in the middle of the night.She said don't worry, if not, come back and have a look.She said, go find the woman who gave birth to you.If it weren't for crying in the dream and saying, don't look for it, you are my mother in this life.The mother said, then you find a woman to marry, count me and you, Dad, the hard work is not in vain.If it wasn't for shaking his head and exerting force, his neck twisted very painfully.

If you don't wake up from a dream, you wake up from pain.Turn on the light, if you don't whisper, if there is an afterlife, I don't like men? You must marry a woman, get married and have children, spread the branches and leaves, the children and grandchildren will be full, and enjoy the happiness of the family.

Mother is gone.If it wasn't for telling Lao Shao the unfortunate news.Every time Lao Shao called, he would ask Ruofei how your mother was doing.If it wasn't for the needle pricking in her heart first, and then said quietly, she would be like that, an elderly person.

Old Shao asked again, did you go to the hospital?If it wasn't for looking into the distance with twinkling eyes and a forced smile, it wouldn't be all right after seeing it.It’s really not going to get better, it’s all brought into the dust.

From the beginning to the end, Lao Shao didn't know if it wasn't for his mother's departure.Lao Shao once joked that that was my mother-in-law.If I hadn't said that I had died of happiness, I would not marry you.Now that the mother-in-law is gone, Lao Shao not only did not marry Ruofei, but instead gave him more loss and emptiness, and countless pains and sorrows along the way.

Why didn't you tell Lao Shao?If not told, it is a mystery.Maybe it was the time when Ruofei's father died that Lao Shao hurt Ruofei, and there was a shadow of fear.Maybe it's because Ruofei doesn't want Lao Shao to know too much of his unhappiness, so that Lao Shao will always feel that Ruofei is such a happy and innocent child.

If it weren't for sitting on the top of the mountain, I really wanted to cry a lot.But if he didn't find that he couldn't cry anymore, he didn't even have tears.The pain without tears is the real pain, if there is no pain, there will be no tears.

The water of the small river in spring has risen a lot, and it is flowing non-stop.Time has passed, if it weren't for the fact that I like men, it hasn't been erased from the memory of the folks.It is still where he has passed, his gaze is like a sword, as if to pierce Ruofei's heart, and then pick it out for everyone to see if it is different.If it wasn't for fleeing, he left his hometown and that small mountain village.

If you don't stay in the county town for one night, you will stay in a hotel.If he hadn't lived in Aunt Xiao's house, if Gu Guoxiong was gone, he couldn't live in it.Aunt Xiao was also unwilling to live in Ruofei, she hated Ruofei, the two of them were enemies, the revenge of their husband.

If it weren't for Aunt Xiao, I would stop blaming Aunt Xiao.As a woman, she also suffers.The ex-husband was flirtatious, and found one young girl after another, which was already embarrassing for her.Neither of the two daughters gave her a good face, and they both left her. They were her darlings, and they made a scandalous scandal.Gu Guoxiong's departure was a fatal injury.A middle-aged woman, ups and downs, fate is very mean to her.If it weren't for the fact that I couldn't hate another person with the same disease, an old woman.

If it wasn't for the first time to walk alone in the old Ximen, through the alley paved with stone slabs, my heart would be pounding.Ruofei's vision had hallucinations, as if he was still walking with Gu Guoxiong, his voice echoed in his ears, and scenes from the past came back to his mind.

A couple walked by, if they hadn't woken up from their trance.Phantom, everything is but phantom.If you don't move slowly, walk through the north of the city, through the old east gate, and into the old street.The signboard of Guoxiong Barber Shop has been removed long ago and replaced with another signboard, and the characters inside have also been changed. A young man has replaced the figure of Gu Guoxiong.

Ruofei walked in and said hello to the young lanky guy.Ruofei asked the young man, "Master, why did you change people? Where is the old master?" Ruofei sat on the chair that could be rotated and folded down for shaving while talking.

The young man thought that if he had to get a haircut, he quickly took out the apron.A clean white cloth wrapped around Ruofei's body and said, "Hey, my master passed away last year."

If it wasn't for being surprised that the young man was Gu Guoxiong's apprentice, he asked again, "When did you learn from Master Gu and how long have you been studying? Why haven't I seen it before?"

The young man choked up and said, "Three years, I have been with him for three years. He is a good teacher, and he is still my godfather."

Ruofei's body trembled, and then he stretched out his hand to untie the apron, stood up, threw the apron on the chair and rushed out.The young man's voice sounded from behind, "Ah cousin, what's wrong with you? Did I offend you?"

If it wasn't for him, he left without looking back.After walking out of the alleys of the old streets, I let myself settle down.Ruofei unconsciously reached out and touched the beard on his chin and the hair on his head.If it weren't for Gu Guoxiong who really wanted to help him cut his hair and shave him again.

If it weren't for going to the mall where Gu Guoxiong bought clothes.The salesman at that time is also gone, probably retired long ago.If he hadn't touched a coat that was hanging, the material was very good, much better than those of those coats a few years ago, made of wool and cashmere.Times have changed, and so have materials.If he hadn't thought about it, it would be great if these coats were worn on Gu Guoxiong's body, soft and stretchy.It's a pity that Gu Guoxiong is no longer there, and there is no need for such a coat anymore.Turning around and going out, if I hadn't looked up at the sky, the blue sky was still so high, I took a deep breath, but the air was no longer so fresh, filled with the smell of sewers.

Returning to Shanghai again, and returning to Wang Xiaoran's side, if not for another thought.Wang Xiaoran comforted Ruofei, that everyone must die, so if you want to be more open, I'm sorry.If you don't know, people will die, either you die or I die, or he dies.No one can explain this life clearly, maybe if I lie down tonight, I won't have to get up again tomorrow, cut off from the world, and sleep forever.

Looking back on the past few years, passing through so many people and things, if I don't know how far I can go.I don't know how many days are left to belong to me.

That little kid back then is no longer a little kid.These days are frighteningly fast, obliterating a person's youth alive, leaving wrinkles and sorrow.