embrace the memory of youth

Walking out of Guoxiong's shop, it was raining outside, with dim lights, I walked alone in the rain, and when I arrived home, I was completely soaked, if Lin Qingping saw me like this and didn't feel sorry for him to death, I would have to talk again Dadui, I really miss him at this moment. I took out my phone and looked at it. There were as many as a dozen messages from him. I was about to make a call, but he just called. Speed ​​pressed the answer button.

His first words on the phone were "Are you waiting for my call, you answered it so soon"

"Thinking about you too much, I was playing with my phone just now, and you just happened to call"

"I passed by your hometown, it's so beautiful, I have the urge to get out of the car immediately, I can feel you by my side"

I smiled lightly, and then said, "It's beautiful, but don't be greedy, take care of your own affairs first, don't delay it"

"I will, but I miss you from the moment I got in the car", in fact, I miss him too, of course I can't let him know this, I just keep it in my heart and don't say it, we simply chatted a few words and then hung up the phone up.

I woke up the next day with a heavy head. I touched my forehead and realized that I had a high fever again. Looking at the heavy rain outside the window, I was sad that I didn’t have Lin Xuan’s phone. If I didn’t go to work, I couldn’t imagine How many ugly words he wanted to think of and sprayed on me.

I forcefully dragged my heavy body to the store. If Zhou Yuan was still working in the store, he would have leaned over and asked in distress: Brother Liu, are you okay? It's ironic to see familiar but unfamiliar figures back and forth. I have been working together for more than half a year. I can't read a trace of concern from their eyes, and they completely ignore my existence.

I overslept during my lunch break. I dreamed that Lin Qingping’s familiar face appeared. In the dream, he scolded me for not being able to take care of myself, and said that he would never leave my side again. Happiness and reality, suddenly a voice insulting me came from my ear, I managed to open my eyes, and finally saw the face that disturbed my dream clearly, it was Lin Xuan standing in front of me gloating.

I slowly supported my body, wanted to argue with him, thought it was better to lie down and prepare to sleep again, he was nagging in my ear, I couldn't get angry, I jumped up Punched him in the face, and then said angrily, "You are fucking endless, you didn't see that I was sick, and now I don't want to bother with you, I will talk about it when I sleep well"

Obviously he was stunned by my punch. In fact, I was sick at the time, and I didn't have the strength to hurt him. Of course, if his body confronted me head-on, he would definitely suffer, so he left with a sense of humor. .

After finally getting off work, my body was getting heavier, and their gloating eyes still remained unchanged. Passing by Lin Xuan, I said sorry lightly, but he didn't appreciate it, but snorted disdainfully.

On the way home, the rain was getting heavier and heavier. I was afraid of the pungent smell of the medicine in the hospital and the people in white coats, so I passed by a pharmacy and bought some antipyretics at random before heading home.

In the middle of the night, I was woken up by a headache. I touched my forehead, which was much hotter than during the day. I wanted to move my body, but found that I couldn’t do it. Only then did I remember that I hadn’t done anything all day. Eat, I had to pay for my stupidity.

I finally walked to the living room and tripped over the sofa. I went back and forth several times trying to get up, but in the end I failed. I was completely disappointed. I recalled that it was the same in my hometown last time. If Liu Bing hadn’t appeared in time, maybe I have already reported to the underworld, and I seem to see my grandma and Xiaohong waving to me. Thinking about my imposing seven-foot man dying like this without a future, I really feel bad.

I took out my phone and tried my best to find acquaintances in this city. I smiled helplessly. Except for Zhou Yuan and Lin Qingping, I hardly had any contacts. Zhou Yuan’s going abroad and Lin Qingping’s business trip happened to be As far as I was dying, this time I was desperate and suddenly wanted to cry.

Guo Xiong's name flashed across my mind in an instant, I looked for his number, and it disappeared long ago, I simply deleted it a year ago, and the dawn that I finally saw was shattered again, leaving me with no hope of surviving. Thinking of the past few years, walking is really tiring, maybe this time I can feel no depression for a long time, just leave like this without restraint, die, I don't even have a trace of fear.

Maybe God is still merciful to me. I was carrying Guo Xiong’s business card in my pocket. I just remembered that when I came out of his shop, he stuffed it into my hand. I dialed his number slowly, and it was connected in a few seconds. Yes, I heard his voice, tears streaming down involuntarily, and he kept calling me on the phone, emotionally agitated for more than ten seconds, I yelled into the phone, "I'm going to die, why did you say so silently at the beginning?" I left, in fact, I don’t hate you long ago, I just want the truth, otherwise I will die with regret.”

"Where are you Xiaoyu, don't scare my brother, tell me quickly, I'll be there right away" I heard his eagerness on the phone, tears wet my face over and over again.

Then I told him the address, and then he appeared with the people from the property company. I saw them glad that I didn’t have to die. Guo Xiong hugged me forcefully. Ting gushed out of his eyes, he just remembered saying thank you to him at the end and passed out.

I woke up and lay in the hospital without accident, the air was full of the smell of medicine, and Guo Xiong fell asleep lying on the bedside, I looked at the clock on the wall, it was already afternoon, I looked at his tired figure, and my heart ached didn't want to wake him up.

He woke up shortly afterwards, his eyes were red, he must have not closed his eyes all night by my side, he said with a smile on his face, "You're hungry, I'll get you something to eat right away". I was really hungry, so I replied with a faint smile, "Well, I still want to eat preserved egg and lean meat porridge."

"Then I'll get it right away," he got up and left the ward.

An hour later, he showed up with a bowl of porridge, and then he fed me mouthful by mouthful. We didn't speak after eating. Silence might replace the awkward atmosphere.

In the evening, I asked to be discharged from the hospital. Guo Xiong knew that he couldn't hold me back, so he reluctantly agreed. He still hasn't changed. He is still the same Guo Xiong who can only obey others. He can make me happy as before, but now he is with a child who has made a mistake, and he can't regain the feeling he used to have, but I am still very grateful for his life-saving grace this time, so my coldness towards him is beginning to dissolve.

"These years have been good." The silence on the road made me almost suffocate, and I broke the silence with such a sentence.

He smiled and answered "I don't know". When I heard such an answer, I criticized him angrily.

"I really don't know, it's very numb, and I miss the same person every day"

I didn't answer his words. I was thinking that if he hadn't left without saying goodbye and said this sentence two years in advance, would it have reduced many unnecessary tragedies in the middle.

"What about you?" His words interrupted my thinking, and I replied "I don't know" in retaliation. He smiled faintly, and then repeated the sentence I just criticized him, but his tone was soft , without the slightest anger.

He sent me home and made porridge for me. He wanted to feed me again, but I refused. When he was about to leave, he said, "The person I miss every day these years is you. Now I know you I'm relieved, remember to take care of yourself"

I yelled from behind, "Then you have to have a good time with that so-and-so", and then quietly disappeared from my sight. Seeing that lonely back, I actually felt bitter.

At night, I had no mood to sleep, so I talked on the phone with Lin Qingping. He talked about the scenery of Beijing, the city I always wanted to go to, and I conceived the beautiful scenery according to his description, but he said that the atmosphere there was not good enough. It’s too refreshing, I lightly told him to take care of himself, and then ended with him kissing me on the other end of the phone, but his words flickered a little, and I always felt that something was wrong, but I couldn’t tell, I just remembered to ask It's cold in Beijing in March, and he said unpreparedly that the rain is really annoying.